the other reason i watch world cup is because there's paul! Hahha. Sigh. After he has given people lotsa fortune, we kill him just because he's too good!! Wth. i mean, the octopus didnt ask for the 2 boxes to be placed in front of him right? Since its there, he just happened to pick the correct box. Can't blame him! Gahhh. We're really selfish and arrogant. He's also a life too right? Oh well.
Hows life, you ask me? Well. This week's been pretty colourful! Lotsa meeetups with different friends. Makes me feel that my presence on this planet has some sort of use. Instead of just being a parasite. I guess, i like being made used of. Hahaha. Nt in the bad way la.. But i rlly like it when ppl ask me for advice. Not just on studies, but in life too? Or love. Though i may not have much experience myself, but i do have a lot of experience with my friends. And i can.. Try to help. If nt, im rlly a good listener. :) i dont mind being ur cushion. So ya. Ppl who see this, just find me lor. If u need a listening ear. Theres no such thing as too stupid or too small. Alot of problems begin small, plus.. Now that im single and not v sociable.. I've got quite a lot of spare time in my hands. :)
Sigh. Gonna send ade tan off nxt week. To aussie. This is another reality check that ppl have rlly moved on. I mean, alot of time, when someone passes away.. It'll be sad initially. But u wont feel the impact untiil u have to live life without his/her presence anymore. Thats sadder than even knowing about e fact that he's gone. Its living the fact that hurts. Yaa. Sigh. August will come and everyone will start school. Just hope that i wont be some lame ass who becomes so social life-deprived that i will turn into an introvert. For me, keeping my mouth shut is gonna be one huge torture. Of course, being a natural introvert.. Its not hard for me to keep my mouth shut if i feel inferior.
I guess, i've slowly grew to the fact that in life, there'll be moments when its so quiet, a small ripple would cause a huge wave for me. And then there will be the busy moments where i have so much to do that i didnt even notice that australia had a change in prime minister. :( fuck my general knowledge. Need to brush up.
And after the whole nerdy guy saga, i've decided. I'm not gonna do the chasing when it comes to love anymore. Sigh. Anyways, i think no one will want me even i presented myself on a silver platter... So.. well.. I'll just.. Wait lor. Ahahhaha. Cus right, i was giving someone love advice earlier.. And i just cant rlly see myself following my own advice. Maybe, i just want a few close friends, like now. Thats alright for me. Hahaha! Its like what the horseshoe said 'some women Are not meant to be tamed. They just wait for someone just as wild to run along with them' earlier on, was talking to family and we talked about aunty agnes. Nt sure if she still reads my blog. But anyway.. Im so proud of her! She got retrenched earlier frm the crisis.. So she took a holiday and travelled across australia on her own! Woooooo. I'd love to travel alone. Nt all the time of course! But imagine the things u can see .. I mean, u can go and see things u rlly wanna see! Eg. Male strip club! Hahahahaha. If i were w my husband or bf, cannot wad. Hahaha. And who knows whom i'll meet while travelling right??? It'll be like those chick lits.. Where ppl fall in love in tahiti! :) plus, im rlly so used to oogling at handsome strangers in public places. Esp when i see my type.. Abit macho with nerd specs, but clearly not nerds kinda guys. I remembered when i was with sly, i actually tried to ignore so many hawties. teeheehee. Plus when i club, i do dance with strangers. Im not being a hooker.. But handsome strangers are mysterious. Of course, as i grow older, the more i hope to establish my own family and become a slave to my husband and children. Its sad, considering how carefree i naturally am. But i just cant help but hope to be tied down to a family. I tell u though. Its in every girl's blood to wanna get married. I'm serious. There rlly isnt any girl who doesnt wanna get married even if they die also wont admit. Like me la. Who wants to be alone forever and die alone in apartment without anyone realising? But thing is, u might be married and have kids and STILL die alone in apartment without anyone noticing. But getting married is a risk alot of women will wanna take. But i guess, if i cant get married to the right guy, of course he doesnt have to be perfect, but has to fulfil majority of the criteria i do have in mind, i might as well be married to the idea of travelling the world. :) at least, i might die in a terrorist attack and not boringly in an apartment. Yup. I'll hope that the right guy comes along lor.. Cus life is rlly sian if everyone in my inner social circle gets attached and im still single.. hahha.
Hahaha. Of course, every coin has 2 sides.
having someone in your life means that when u're down.. U have a shoulder to lean on and life wont feel so bad. And when u're happy, it becomes happier when someone feels happy that u're happy. When u fail, they cushion ur crush and when u suceed, it tastes sweeter because someone is there to be proud of u as if its their own sucess but then, jealousy is something like the black spiderman suit shown in spiderman3. It covers up ur genuinely nice and openminded personality and turns u into a monster no one can recognise. U become distraught, lost, sad, angry for the slightest things. And also, it takes alot of effort to make a good relationship. And thing is, what if its all not meant to be at the end of the day? Both parties will just be tired and frustrated and u cant find ur old self anymore, the old self before all these fairytale happened.
Being single is fun too. We decide things for ourselves. We dont need to worry about hurting the other party for any decisions we make. We have the freedom of flirting with anyone and anywhere. So what if we will be judged? Hahah. We wont be jealous.. and we'll be used to being alone, its ok with or without a guy. Life goes on. We dont need to make umpteen number of unnecessary phone calls to make sure that our beloved isnt flirting around. We wont have to give in or compromise our true selfs for them.i know alot of ppl say, when they're in a r/s, they're still themselves and being true to themselves. Really? I doubt. There will definitely be changes to ur tastes and stuff unconsciously that u aren't aware of. And u wont be able to thoroughly live life the way u want it to be. And life becomes soooooo revolved around that one person, there is alot to lose if u miss a step. Whereas being single, we aint got nothing to lose. although u might say love makes it all worth it, but really? Ppl become anxious and panicky when they think they're gonna lose it! But idk. I just.. Hate the feeling of losing something. And since everyone is allocated the same number of hours in a day, u'll definitely lose touch of ur friends, or some.. Because.. Someone is occupying ur time. I mean, some ppl say its a bliss... But... As for me, friends are so fucking impt, i cant imagine losing them without knowing.of course, being single can suck too. Esp on valentines day and similar ocassions because u'd be home watching re-runs of titanic when the whole world is in love. Its nice to go out w friends but sucks when everything on the menu is meant for a 2-persons. And u'll definitely feel alone even with the biggest bunch of e closest single friends! What about when ur friends start getting attached.. And u're always the third wheel. Gosh, how can i not knw how a third wheel feel??? I have played that part so often, i got numb to it. U feel like u shud jolly well disappear frm the surface of this planet.. Instead of being the reason for the awkwardness around. And seeing the couple being lovey-dovey, though u might feel like puking and fainting, u cant deny the tinge of envy. And also, at night, when all ur friends are busy, u wished u had someone u can turn to to just chat.. and what about.. Missing the feeling of being cherished. Or being the centre of someone's world? Now thats quite a torture. And the worse thing about being single?? U look around, and u think hes the perfect one. And then, hes attached too.. And yeah. Its like.. So unstable. Life is so unstable.
Hahahaha. Ohmygooshhh. Im so bored.. Till i can type this kinda shit. Hahaha. No offence to anyone leh. Im rlly just blogging abt my opinion. But im so used to being single..i just become numb to the cons of being single. Of course, i'll wanna push my luck and try it out if someone right comes along. Hahahah. My youth is running out and i sometimes really wonder if it will even be possible nt.
I rlly rlly cant picture myself being in the centre of someone's world. Im too... Inferior. Look around and theres so many good-looking, good personality girls around. And girls who have less bullshit than me. I've got too much shit in me alr. and i rlly dont know how to be that sweet girl to the guy i love. Even to nerdy guy, i was all brotherly and stuff. Sigh. but at e same time, i cant imagine giving up any part of my social life for any guys. And i also cant imagine nt being jealous. I'll confirm feel inferior and jealous. Oh gosh. Hence my conclusion: just wait and see. Hahha! Thats all. Fingers are tired. Ciao. All the best to everyone!
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