it fucking hurts

why does it still affect me sooo much? it has been a year. i suddenly saw sly coming online.. so i went to see his facebook. it hurts. the familiar heart wrench is back. he is attached. its something i have been fearing .. especially since he left my life. and its true. with some really quite pretty girl. his beloved. i used to be his beloved. i know, i should have let go a long time ago. and i thought i have. i really thought i have. but recently, even on lorraine's concert, when they played "love, me".. listening over the radio, it still sends a shiver down my spine. omg.. it really really hurts. really hurts to see him belonging to someone else. it has been so long. really really can feel my heart being twisted and wrenched. is that how it feels? i really dont wanna let go any of those happy memories. i really have cried it all out. but i really .. it fucking hurts seeing he now belongs to someone else. sigh. oh my gawd.. the tears cannot stop flowing again.