today's one wasted day. slept for 13 hours last night, woke up feeling soooooooooooooooo lethargic. ate lunch and just lazed around on the couch watching "Liao zai".. its rlly nice now.. the story on feng sheng and shi si niang, i used to read it in secondary school.. really nice love story. im serious. even for quite an un-cheena person like me, i got quite addicted. plus, feng shu sheng very handsome. and innocent looking. haha.
then, tried to study and instead, watched family guy episodes, followed by "its complicated". omg. i swear. the perfect conversation i'd ever wanna strike with any men in the world would be one like meryl streep and alec baldwin in the bar. its so, intimate yet so matter-of-fact. butstupid alec baldwin.. keep treating her like a doormat. bloody commitment phobics. but yeah, i can see why meryl was so.. smitten over him. plus, i've never seen steve martin so.. serious before. i dun really like steve martin though x: but i preferred him in Mr Magoo. yeah. im halfway there. cus halfway, decided to da-bao everything with fries, come home and complete the movie. then just went i left the housegate, albsie called. asked me wanna dinner w jon and him. thought why not? besides i was feeling really shitty the entire day. so went parkway, had ajisen ramen. dabao-ed NYNY for bro and came home. tried to mug. but played baking life and MSN-ed instead.
sigh. saw daniel fang's faceook. its his birthday today. once upon a time, we were good friends. then yeah. never keep in touch already. but to date, he truly is one of the nicest guys i'll ever know. im serious. maybe at that time? he was so innocent leh. he liks to type "yayapapaya" into my calculator. hahah. but fuck, he's leading the life i want. london, big social life and prolly good love life also. and he has become so good looking now!! i remember his mushroom hair last time. hahha. then i went to see Mark's profile. fuck too. he has been to every part of Europe. omFuckingawd. and sharon ong who is in aussie leading the life i would want to? zomg. i seriously.. am so filled with envy. to the brim. like, can overflow liao. oh well. i still have my friends and family. yeah.
p/s: though me and her are back, it just sucks to see her coming back to me because SHE has no choices and i'm the one with the lobang. fuck. i can see history repeating itself. call me jealous or petty. but in life, i don't believe in "forgive and forget". the forgiving part is easy. the forgetting part, now thats impossible. unless u have amnesia and especially if you're a woman.
yup. cheers. i just persuaded myself out of buying a $41 wallet from modcloth.com .. see previous blogpost. the wallet with lotsa stamps. ohwell. nice job shirley....
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Finally found the correct song..
I have been missing my poly life alot and i still do.. and suddenly, i just heard this song again.. and it totally spelt out how i feel. yup. especially the bolded lines.. enjoy! if u dunno this song (where have u been!!!), youtube it.
Graduation song - Vitamin C
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels
Chorus:
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever
So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels
*Repeat chorus*
La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
Graduation song - Vitamin C
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels
Chorus:
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever
So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels
*Repeat chorus*
La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
Random rants
i've been wanting to do letter #3: to my parents cus i've been inspired big time to blog about it. but then, i am still on day 1's schedule in my mugging plan, when it already is day 2. plus, i really couldn't sleep last night.. and i slept at 7.30am in the morning and i woke up at 10.30am today to have lunch with shu xian. then after that, headed to parkway's starbucks to mug. and i spent.. 3 hours plus on half a chapter. well done. GG. i was quite dizzy leh and i walked in a daze. i wanted to walk home, cus it was quite nice, the weather.. but.. i didnt trust myself to walk home in that state. fuck. should i mug tonight? or just sleep... sheesh.
it got me wondering.. how do people do THAT much mugging EVERYday. its mind blowingly crazy. it really is. i definitely dont have the brain power or stamina to do so. u know what, i shall mug till 1am and then sleep. i've been having insomia recently, since the break-in. im scared i'll see the burglar climb in and then he sees me looking at him and then climbs up to my house and shoots me. fuck. its scary. not the shooting part, but the kan-chiong-feeling-i-will-get-before-i-die part... really hate the feeling. jiu, even when im about to sleep, my heart suddenly beats very fast at the crick of the door or just sounds la. even though i have my radio on. ok, shall sleep at 1am tonight. fuck leh.just so scared. okok. i'll mug till 1am.. then collect my pastries from baking life and then sleep. set. another day tomorrow. [: jiayou!!
p/s: i am fucking getting more and more boring by the day. i bought 3 tank tops today from cotton on. the colours: black, dark grey, grey. FML.
it got me wondering.. how do people do THAT much mugging EVERYday. its mind blowingly crazy. it really is. i definitely dont have the brain power or stamina to do so. u know what, i shall mug till 1am and then sleep. i've been having insomia recently, since the break-in. im scared i'll see the burglar climb in and then he sees me looking at him and then climbs up to my house and shoots me. fuck. its scary. not the shooting part, but the kan-chiong-feeling-i-will-get-before-i-die part... really hate the feeling. jiu, even when im about to sleep, my heart suddenly beats very fast at the crick of the door or just sounds la. even though i have my radio on. ok, shall sleep at 1am tonight. fuck leh.just so scared. okok. i'll mug till 1am.. then collect my pastries from baking life and then sleep. set. another day tomorrow. [: jiayou!!
p/s: i am fucking getting more and more boring by the day. i bought 3 tank tops today from cotton on. the colours: black, dark grey, grey. FML.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
i'm supposed to be mugging for my economics, but...
Im so sick of mugging! its like, i came up with a mugging plan. by right, i'm supposed to have already finished revising 3 chapters of economics. now (at 2.20am), im only at the halfway mark. and i started at 8pm.. the thing is, though i didnt turn my computer on, i kept refreshing my fb page and checking my phone for txt messages. gosh man. really can go nuts. have got seriously low concentration span!!! what the fuck is wrong with me? all i want is to just laze around the entire day. ok, so what if i was almost dying last night? i am well today and shud really have mugged. oh fuck. well since im already blogging.. might as well go on..
last night, i vomitted 4 times.. (yeah. cherries still taste sweet even as vomit).. and diarrhead about 7 times? it was so scary. cus i felt damn fucking weak and i had a fever. so i managed to pull myself to go to the fridge to get the fever cooling thing. applied medicated oil to my tummy like how my grandma used to (rub the medicated oil between your palms and then gently place them over ur tummy. it works better if it was grandma's hands) .. i told myself, if i vomitted once more, im going to wake my parents. and luckily.. i didn't. so i managed to survive and woke up at 3pm today. was really fucking scary like a nightmare .. except it was real. the pain in my tummy was really unbearable. i really thought i'd die.. ]: yeah. cus felt so weak and cold.
at least, im glad i managed to stay independant through this. i guess i really need to learn to take care of myself now that im 20 and slowly going into adulthood. rather, singletondom in adulthood. hahahha.
sigh, u know what makes me more envious than seeing lovey-dovey pictures of couple? seeing the pictures of aeroplane wings in other ppl's fb pictures. how i yearn to fly too. but right now, im stuck in sunny singapore with my econs notes.
don't get me wrong. i dont hate singapore. i love singapore. day by day, especially after watching the video on mumbai's bombing attacks.. theres not a day i am not thankful for the safe feeling i get in singapore. how im able to walk to my kitchen at 2am and make it back to my room alive.. i mean, if it was in mumbai.. terrorists would just barge into ur house while u're asleep and kill your children. and im thankful for the house i live in and the nice family im born into. and how i still know that i have my parents to depend on.. no matter how independant i try to be. its like, when i run out of soap and money to buy soap.. i'll go to their cabinet where my mum usually stocks up on soap.. hahaha. or how she'll come in and turn the nightlight off when its morning and so on...
the thing is, im suffocating in the enclosed place. i need a wharf of fresh air. i need, to look at more greenery instead of buildings and books and computer. u really think i like depending my life on facebook? it sucks. i'd rather not. but where else do i spend my time on when i dont fb? i'd rather spend my time constructing a better life to live in. but when i need to study, fb is the only way to let me have a break. sigh. yup. pathetic life i lead, i know..
i so fucking miss the feeling heaving a sigh of relief when the plane takes off.. and the exciting feeling of going for new experiences! havent been out of the country this year.. and i dont think i will be this year since the aussie cousins are coming to singapore this dec. well, just pray that i can go to london next june.. just some random pics.. from 2008 perth trip..
i will always remember this funny photo!!! hahaha
the sun will always shine no matter what!
well, im still at 1 and a half chapters. shall head to bed lar. going for breakfast with sx tmr.. hopefully will be able to mug well tmr. jiayou shirley!!! goodbye~
last night, i vomitted 4 times.. (yeah. cherries still taste sweet even as vomit).. and diarrhead about 7 times? it was so scary. cus i felt damn fucking weak and i had a fever. so i managed to pull myself to go to the fridge to get the fever cooling thing. applied medicated oil to my tummy like how my grandma used to (rub the medicated oil between your palms and then gently place them over ur tummy. it works better if it was grandma's hands) .. i told myself, if i vomitted once more, im going to wake my parents. and luckily.. i didn't. so i managed to survive and woke up at 3pm today. was really fucking scary like a nightmare .. except it was real. the pain in my tummy was really unbearable. i really thought i'd die.. ]: yeah. cus felt so weak and cold.
at least, im glad i managed to stay independant through this. i guess i really need to learn to take care of myself now that im 20 and slowly going into adulthood. rather, singletondom in adulthood. hahahha.
sigh, u know what makes me more envious than seeing lovey-dovey pictures of couple? seeing the pictures of aeroplane wings in other ppl's fb pictures. how i yearn to fly too. but right now, im stuck in sunny singapore with my econs notes.
don't get me wrong. i dont hate singapore. i love singapore. day by day, especially after watching the video on mumbai's bombing attacks.. theres not a day i am not thankful for the safe feeling i get in singapore. how im able to walk to my kitchen at 2am and make it back to my room alive.. i mean, if it was in mumbai.. terrorists would just barge into ur house while u're asleep and kill your children. and im thankful for the house i live in and the nice family im born into. and how i still know that i have my parents to depend on.. no matter how independant i try to be. its like, when i run out of soap and money to buy soap.. i'll go to their cabinet where my mum usually stocks up on soap.. hahaha. or how she'll come in and turn the nightlight off when its morning and so on...
the thing is, im suffocating in the enclosed place. i need a wharf of fresh air. i need, to look at more greenery instead of buildings and books and computer. u really think i like depending my life on facebook? it sucks. i'd rather not. but where else do i spend my time on when i dont fb? i'd rather spend my time constructing a better life to live in. but when i need to study, fb is the only way to let me have a break. sigh. yup. pathetic life i lead, i know..
i so fucking miss the feeling heaving a sigh of relief when the plane takes off.. and the exciting feeling of going for new experiences! havent been out of the country this year.. and i dont think i will be this year since the aussie cousins are coming to singapore this dec. well, just pray that i can go to london next june.. just some random pics.. from 2008 perth trip..
i will always remember this funny photo!!! hahaha
the sun will always shine no matter what!well, im still at 1 and a half chapters. shall head to bed lar. going for breakfast with sx tmr.. hopefully will be able to mug well tmr. jiayou shirley!!! goodbye~
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
just in case..
my tummy hurts like fuck .. And its super bloated. Im scared. I never felt this sorta pain before. Dun wanna wake my mum up.. Diarrhead 4 times and puked 2 large quantities. i feel cold although theres no rain and no fever. im scared i cant make it thru the night.. Just v scared. Gahh.just in case, can someone show this post to my famiily? If im awake tmr, i'll remove this..
I have been so happy to have had so many friends show care and concern for me. But my family, i never doubted their love. Tho im rebellious and stuff.. Bit i rlllllly loooooove my family. Oh fuck. Rlly no energy to type. Byeee...
I have been so happy to have had so many friends show care and concern for me. But my family, i never doubted their love. Tho im rebellious and stuff.. Bit i rlllllly loooooove my family. Oh fuck. Rlly no energy to type. Byeee...
Monday, July 26, 2010
wishlists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I seriously cannot study, even though i swore to study. i just am TOO lazy. i'll start tomorrow, wow. procrastinators- leaders of tomorrow! so in the mean time, while waiting for my pie to be baked, i went online shop browsing. SIGH. suddenly, there are just so much loves!
omg. love london! nice uh!!
i love this dress. but the cutting at the sleeve will make my already-fat arms look fatter. ]:
i love this dresss! it looks obiang! but imagine with leggings and heels. ZOMG!
super nice prints!! but very figure hugging leh.
sexay ar! but this kind, sure can see my muffin top one. dunno whats a muffin top? go google.
NICEEE! simple and nice! and black. complimenting for figure!
so cute uh!!! omg! so unlike me, but then.. gosh! paris + cute cartoons!
this looks soo rugged and very boyish leh! naise!
this is SO me! HAHAHAH!
damn chio and flowy. but i think it'll make me look fatter also.
i wont ever buy this la, its too pretty for me. but its soooooooo lovely, isn't it?
loook at this!!!!!! damnnnnn adorable! i'll definitely keep staring if i were to wear this!
the umbrella is soooo magical! omg. i would wish it rained all year long just to be under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh eh, under my umbrella~
its like, im standing in the middle of the milky way!
i am seriously contemplating if i should buy this wallet. USD19.99 LOL! howw? my wallet's 3 years old liao.
so innocent! like me. x:
OMGGGGGGGGGGGG. SO INNOCENT LEH! v chio, plus...
its a WATCH too!!! somemore roman numerals! roman numeral watches makes me swoon!
whats with me and umbrellas?! but i think this one.. far east might sell alr..
chio!!!
very classssy! then again, the model does look classy!
it will remind me that i belong in the wild! up in the sky!
i really hope that i'll lose more weight. because, i saw some pics.. and yeah. i could use with slimmer thighs and slimmer waists. i bet u're thinking i wanna be slim to seduce guys? hell no lor. maybe, that will be the by-product. but, i really wanna feel good and wanna dress up. i think i should slowly skew my dress sense to being more sophisticated. hahah! imagine, in just 2 more years time, tees will no longer be my staples. sigh!
i mean, i'll admit, its scary to look into the future and see myself spending the rest of my life alone, single, forever in my fantasies and envying my friends who would probably have beautiful kids, sucessful careers and good skin. whereas, i'd probably have picked up smoking by then, be drinking booze on saturday nights watching re-runs of bridget jones and phantom of the opera and cursing and swearing at the slightest things. ZOMG. i dont wanna be THAT kind of spinster. i wanna be a spinster who makes full use of her singletondom! perhaps, a different fling every month? or, have loads of single girlfriends around and travel like mad, like in sex and the city .. and meet all kind of hawt guys! and be the envy of smug marrieds!
i guess why i keep wanting to be attached is because i am scared i'd become the frumpy ol' spinster when i could have been the latter. but then, how would being married make me any less frumpier? either ways, i just hope i dont become frumpy. sigh, honestly, all i want, is ONE perfect guy for me, who loves me and i love him back. too hard to ask for?
oh well. anyway, no need to worry between staying single or not, because right now, i have no choice but to be single. right? SIGHH. i just hope that, in my whole SIM life, i will be able to meet a guy who is sophisticated and knowlegeable and to whom i can talk about current affairs, politics with and will blow my mind away and not bore me! and hopefully he'll be single! and hopefully, he'll like to wear white shirts and straight cut jeans and love me for who i am. and someone who will wanna see stars with me and maybe study about them with me too! just someone, to whom i can tell my daily affairs, even the bimbotic ones with, and will share his opinion and give me his best advice and i'll think through it. i want someone with whom i can speak about anything and he will give me another view. and we'll explore together and have endless endless conversation. just hope.. i can find him. it doesnt have to be a boyfriend. maybe just a good friend also can la. but of course, hopefully my soulmate lor. he doesnt have to be handsome. just want him to be well-groomed. i know im not well-groomed, but im trying to make eyebrow shaping, waxing a frequent affair. maybe exfoliation too. u know what, that will be my aim. i'm going to step out of sim, a more sophisticated young adult who still keep the dirty/crappy humour in her, but on the outside, nothing less than sophisticated and classy. something like chantel. like, i can pull off the "less is more" feeeling. yup.
gosh. it feels good to be all bimbotic! okay la! i swear, to study hard from tmr onwards. muay thai, HERE I COME! and i shall be sporty too! gah. stand on your feet shirley! u can do it! its common for your friends to have better lives than you!!!! do not be envious!!! gah. ): its so hard to not be envious lar. fuck. need to explode. okay. shall sleep my emotions away. bye.
omg. love london! nice uh!!
i love this dress. but the cutting at the sleeve will make my already-fat arms look fatter. ]:
i love this dresss! it looks obiang! but imagine with leggings and heels. ZOMG!
super nice prints!! but very figure hugging leh.
sexay ar! but this kind, sure can see my muffin top one. dunno whats a muffin top? go google.
NICEEE! simple and nice! and black. complimenting for figure!
so cute uh!!! omg! so unlike me, but then.. gosh! paris + cute cartoons!
this looks soo rugged and very boyish leh! naise!
this is SO me! HAHAHAH!
damn chio and flowy. but i think it'll make me look fatter also.
i wont ever buy this la, its too pretty for me. but its soooooooo lovely, isn't it?
loook at this!!!!!! damnnnnn adorable! i'll definitely keep staring if i were to wear this!
the umbrella is soooo magical! omg. i would wish it rained all year long just to be under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh eh, under my umbrella~
its like, im standing in the middle of the milky way!
i am seriously contemplating if i should buy this wallet. USD19.99 LOL! howw? my wallet's 3 years old liao.
so innocent! like me. x:
OMGGGGGGGGGGGG. SO INNOCENT LEH! v chio, plus...
its a WATCH too!!! somemore roman numerals! roman numeral watches makes me swoon!
whats with me and umbrellas?! but i think this one.. far east might sell alr..
chio!!!
very classssy! then again, the model does look classy!
it will remind me that i belong in the wild! up in the sky!i really hope that i'll lose more weight. because, i saw some pics.. and yeah. i could use with slimmer thighs and slimmer waists. i bet u're thinking i wanna be slim to seduce guys? hell no lor. maybe, that will be the by-product. but, i really wanna feel good and wanna dress up. i think i should slowly skew my dress sense to being more sophisticated. hahah! imagine, in just 2 more years time, tees will no longer be my staples. sigh!
i mean, i'll admit, its scary to look into the future and see myself spending the rest of my life alone, single, forever in my fantasies and envying my friends who would probably have beautiful kids, sucessful careers and good skin. whereas, i'd probably have picked up smoking by then, be drinking booze on saturday nights watching re-runs of bridget jones and phantom of the opera and cursing and swearing at the slightest things. ZOMG. i dont wanna be THAT kind of spinster. i wanna be a spinster who makes full use of her singletondom! perhaps, a different fling every month? or, have loads of single girlfriends around and travel like mad, like in sex and the city .. and meet all kind of hawt guys! and be the envy of smug marrieds!
i guess why i keep wanting to be attached is because i am scared i'd become the frumpy ol' spinster when i could have been the latter. but then, how would being married make me any less frumpier? either ways, i just hope i dont become frumpy. sigh, honestly, all i want, is ONE perfect guy for me, who loves me and i love him back. too hard to ask for?
oh well. anyway, no need to worry between staying single or not, because right now, i have no choice but to be single. right? SIGHH. i just hope that, in my whole SIM life, i will be able to meet a guy who is sophisticated and knowlegeable and to whom i can talk about current affairs, politics with and will blow my mind away and not bore me! and hopefully he'll be single! and hopefully, he'll like to wear white shirts and straight cut jeans and love me for who i am. and someone who will wanna see stars with me and maybe study about them with me too! just someone, to whom i can tell my daily affairs, even the bimbotic ones with, and will share his opinion and give me his best advice and i'll think through it. i want someone with whom i can speak about anything and he will give me another view. and we'll explore together and have endless endless conversation. just hope.. i can find him. it doesnt have to be a boyfriend. maybe just a good friend also can la. but of course, hopefully my soulmate lor. he doesnt have to be handsome. just want him to be well-groomed. i know im not well-groomed, but im trying to make eyebrow shaping, waxing a frequent affair. maybe exfoliation too. u know what, that will be my aim. i'm going to step out of sim, a more sophisticated young adult who still keep the dirty/crappy humour in her, but on the outside, nothing less than sophisticated and classy. something like chantel. like, i can pull off the "less is more" feeeling. yup.
gosh. it feels good to be all bimbotic! okay la! i swear, to study hard from tmr onwards. muay thai, HERE I COME! and i shall be sporty too! gah. stand on your feet shirley! u can do it! its common for your friends to have better lives than you!!!! do not be envious!!! gah. ): its so hard to not be envious lar. fuck. need to explode. okay. shall sleep my emotions away. bye.
Time to take action
well, another uneventful day today, nothing fantastic to talk about, except the very very shiok durian rolls i bought from old airport hawker centre. omg. durian lovers, be prepared. its like, durian on the inside, durian on the outside. omggg. yummy like fuck. and its seriously damn solid, the meat. mmmmm. tasty! fingers-licking good.
okay. i've decided to take control of my life. i am seriously sick of being sick of my life! i just wanna be independant of other people. meaning to say, i don't wanna be influenced that my friends are leading the life i want. i dont wanna be upset that i dont have a bf when the whole world has. i dont wanna be sian because the whole world has a ton of outings to go for and i have none. its okay. this isn't the end. i am going to stop stalking random people on facebook. just going to facebook to play that stupid baking life.. and thats it. shall stop living the fb-esque life. am going to focus on my studies. and the friends who love me. and my family. thats all. i will be contented.
as for relationships, i won't date until i feel comfortable. so what if i'm single? and also, i'll stop dating guys i meet online or in clubs. if im ever gonna feel lonely, or sad that i will never find love.. i'll watch tv. or play facebook. or read. yeah. i swear.
and also, i will start green tea diet and am also going to join muay thai. to jian fei. i seriously ate too much durian already. can feel the flabs. yeah. gah. bimbo then bimbo.
i must be the independant, smart, knowledgeable woman i can depend on next time. if i'm sad, i'll make myself happy. if i'm lonely, i'll make myself feel less lonely. if im angry, i'll vent it all away. i must learn. i mean, i have to admit that i've been very parasite-ish. those who are my victims are prolly sick of my same ol' rants. and my same ol' problems. i need to .. stop being so reliant. this isn't the shirley that i once knew. yup. i must stand on my own 2 feet again. everyone else have their own lives to lead. yes. ok. i will walk out of this .. backboneless life.
okay. i've decided to take control of my life. i am seriously sick of being sick of my life! i just wanna be independant of other people. meaning to say, i don't wanna be influenced that my friends are leading the life i want. i dont wanna be upset that i dont have a bf when the whole world has. i dont wanna be sian because the whole world has a ton of outings to go for and i have none. its okay. this isn't the end. i am going to stop stalking random people on facebook. just going to facebook to play that stupid baking life.. and thats it. shall stop living the fb-esque life. am going to focus on my studies. and the friends who love me. and my family. thats all. i will be contented.
as for relationships, i won't date until i feel comfortable. so what if i'm single? and also, i'll stop dating guys i meet online or in clubs. if im ever gonna feel lonely, or sad that i will never find love.. i'll watch tv. or play facebook. or read. yeah. i swear.
and also, i will start green tea diet and am also going to join muay thai. to jian fei. i seriously ate too much durian already. can feel the flabs. yeah. gah. bimbo then bimbo.
i must be the independant, smart, knowledgeable woman i can depend on next time. if i'm sad, i'll make myself happy. if i'm lonely, i'll make myself feel less lonely. if im angry, i'll vent it all away. i must learn. i mean, i have to admit that i've been very parasite-ish. those who are my victims are prolly sick of my same ol' rants. and my same ol' problems. i need to .. stop being so reliant. this isn't the shirley that i once knew. yup. i must stand on my own 2 feet again. everyone else have their own lives to lead. yes. ok. i will walk out of this .. backboneless life.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Day 2 — Your Crush
Dear so and so,
i can't mention your name because more and more of our mutual friends read my blog. yeah. and also, its best to not mention your name lest things become awkward among us, although my closest friends do know of my ever-so-long crush on you since a couple of years back. i remember meeting you a few years back and was thinking to myself "wow. this guy sure is funny". i just came out of secondary school where i hardly had any opposite confidante. and there u came into my life, all so magically.. with your incredible humorous personality and looks. i've always regarded you as a normal friend until one day, i realised that i really enjoyed your company. and i really just loved being wherever you were. i remember when we were in a group outing once, and you were asked the question of whom you will pick as your gf.. and u said me. that was when i guess the whole thing started. slowly, you became my good friend. we went everywhere together. although we might spend time in a group, but we were mainly always talking to each other, either playing word games or just chatting about really lame and funny things. we never really dug into each other's personal lives. i remember, one afternoon, where we decided to catch Ip Man. it was just the two of us. though i bet you didn't feel anything, i felt pretty nervous at first. but slowly, i just got used to your presence. and it felt rather good. i didn't dare peel into your personal life. then, i remembered the night where we and another friend had to stay late and we asked each other about our personal lives. then i found out.. that i was actually your first movie date. hahahaha. its so weird using all these terms.
as time passed, i really grew very comfortable with being with you. no more heart racing, but everything is just filled with loads of laughter. however, a few times, when you'd play with me and grab my hands and i'd feel my heart race. haha. and i'd be damn nervous about it. but all went well. i remembered, even during the time when i was supposed to like sly, i very much had wished that you would be jealous and stuff like that. in case you didn't notice, i kept looking your way when i looked at sly. yeah.
as time passed, i realised that i became so comfortable with you, that i really hoped you could be my boyfriend. i love your family. and i love being with you. though there isn't much heart-thumping going on.. i think i can live with that! so many so many time, i almost told you how i felt. but something stops me from doing so. because when i do, and if we screw up, i'd lose a good friend and a lover. that's too hefty for me. furthermore, im so shitty at relationships, i'm definitely gonna screw up. and i feel there are much better girls out there for you. hahaha. i definitely wanna see you happy. and it seems like you very much are. you are also very innocent la. u deserve a wayyy better girl than me. somemore nowadays, you get handsome-r. i just become less and less in your league these days... ahaha.
When asked, why do i like you? i guess, i like it that you aren't romantic. and you are just simple. and how you are sincere in your words and you never use fancy words or wear fancy clothes. how, although u seem to be really mean to your mum, you really love your family. hahaha. although u seem really petty alot of times, you were mostly kidding. hahaha. you're just a really good person deep down. nothing more. nothing less.
although we hung out countless times, but you know, i really still look forward to meeting you.. and hopefully we will ever go on a date again leh! haha. just so you know, no matter how many cute guys that come my way, you'll be number 1. im serious. its just that, i really really don't have the courage to ever tell you how i feel because i will hate myself if i ever kill our friendship. hopefully, you'll ever know how i feel. otherwise, just seeing you finding the good girl for yourself will cheer me up. [:
i'll miss your presence because of you going into army. and that you wont be in my life everyday like you used to be. i will miss how your jokes made me laugh. and when i tell jokes, you carry them on for me. i miss fighting with you. i miss arguing with you. i miss messing your hair. i miss imitating your movements and making you irritated with me. i miss you. i really do. well, lets hope that we can at least sustain the friendship... and..
if you ever look past my way, TAKE A CHANCE ON ME! [:
Yours sincerely,
Shirley.
i can't mention your name because more and more of our mutual friends read my blog. yeah. and also, its best to not mention your name lest things become awkward among us, although my closest friends do know of my ever-so-long crush on you since a couple of years back. i remember meeting you a few years back and was thinking to myself "wow. this guy sure is funny". i just came out of secondary school where i hardly had any opposite confidante. and there u came into my life, all so magically.. with your incredible humorous personality and looks. i've always regarded you as a normal friend until one day, i realised that i really enjoyed your company. and i really just loved being wherever you were. i remember when we were in a group outing once, and you were asked the question of whom you will pick as your gf.. and u said me. that was when i guess the whole thing started. slowly, you became my good friend. we went everywhere together. although we might spend time in a group, but we were mainly always talking to each other, either playing word games or just chatting about really lame and funny things. we never really dug into each other's personal lives. i remember, one afternoon, where we decided to catch Ip Man. it was just the two of us. though i bet you didn't feel anything, i felt pretty nervous at first. but slowly, i just got used to your presence. and it felt rather good. i didn't dare peel into your personal life. then, i remembered the night where we and another friend had to stay late and we asked each other about our personal lives. then i found out.. that i was actually your first movie date. hahahaha. its so weird using all these terms.
as time passed, i really grew very comfortable with being with you. no more heart racing, but everything is just filled with loads of laughter. however, a few times, when you'd play with me and grab my hands and i'd feel my heart race. haha. and i'd be damn nervous about it. but all went well. i remembered, even during the time when i was supposed to like sly, i very much had wished that you would be jealous and stuff like that. in case you didn't notice, i kept looking your way when i looked at sly. yeah.
as time passed, i realised that i became so comfortable with you, that i really hoped you could be my boyfriend. i love your family. and i love being with you. though there isn't much heart-thumping going on.. i think i can live with that! so many so many time, i almost told you how i felt. but something stops me from doing so. because when i do, and if we screw up, i'd lose a good friend and a lover. that's too hefty for me. furthermore, im so shitty at relationships, i'm definitely gonna screw up. and i feel there are much better girls out there for you. hahaha. i definitely wanna see you happy. and it seems like you very much are. you are also very innocent la. u deserve a wayyy better girl than me. somemore nowadays, you get handsome-r. i just become less and less in your league these days... ahaha.
When asked, why do i like you? i guess, i like it that you aren't romantic. and you are just simple. and how you are sincere in your words and you never use fancy words or wear fancy clothes. how, although u seem to be really mean to your mum, you really love your family. hahaha. although u seem really petty alot of times, you were mostly kidding. hahaha. you're just a really good person deep down. nothing more. nothing less.
although we hung out countless times, but you know, i really still look forward to meeting you.. and hopefully we will ever go on a date again leh! haha. just so you know, no matter how many cute guys that come my way, you'll be number 1. im serious. its just that, i really really don't have the courage to ever tell you how i feel because i will hate myself if i ever kill our friendship. hopefully, you'll ever know how i feel. otherwise, just seeing you finding the good girl for yourself will cheer me up. [:
i'll miss your presence because of you going into army. and that you wont be in my life everyday like you used to be. i will miss how your jokes made me laugh. and when i tell jokes, you carry them on for me. i miss fighting with you. i miss arguing with you. i miss messing your hair. i miss imitating your movements and making you irritated with me. i miss you. i really do. well, lets hope that we can at least sustain the friendship... and..
if you ever look past my way, TAKE A CHANCE ON ME! [:
Yours sincerely,
Shirley.
An unexpected Sunday afternoon
i thought it would be a boring weekend. today woke up at 12 noon. mum cooked asam fish. had that, watched japan hour, then headed to sleep again. until 4pm when i was woken up by a phonecall looking for my mum. realised the entire house was empty. i thought everyone went out without me ): then, my mum came back and found out from her that someone stole my neighbour's bicycle, which was located at 4th floor. lol! brother was downstairs with the police.. and i soooo had my journalist instincts. immediately tidied hair and wore decent clothes (was in grey pajamas still x: ) and rushed down to see a police car with 2 policemen, steven (our managing agent) and uncle raymond (victim). it wasn't serious lar, the atmosphere! even uncle raymond took it easy. (uncle raymond joked that the thief did a bicycle exchange with him. lol!) see, the thing was, its not about the bike.. but the security of the condo. then, just nice deepak came back (i swear, deepak reaallllyy looks like George Clooney, but the indian version. v charming man) and he also wanted to see the CCTV footage. raymond's 2 daughters also came and we all went down to see the footage! seriously, was quite joke. and i was actually still awake when that incident happened leh! x= happened at 3am. ok, here's the footage (for the benefit of you kaypoh people!!):
at about 3am, this guy (clad in black polo tee, jeans, white shoes, white specs, quite tall, skinny), rode a bicycle until our housegate outside and looked around to see if anyone was looking. he took out a hammer, put it across the gate into our compound and then climbed up the gate in 1 step and just jumped over. then, we can still see him walk into the lift lobby. (that fellow didnt even noticed the CCTV leh! we were joking that he might have thought the cameras were spoilt since they looked really old, good decoy!) then, after about 10 minutes, he came down with a bicycle. we can still see him adjusting the seat (cus he was shorter than uncle raymond) and noticing if the light was working.. and then he rode off from the side gate and off he went! LOL! then he left his bicycle by the side of our house! SO funny!
luckily, our doors cannot be opened from the outside, but can only be opened from the inside, which is prolly why he cant come in. so, maybe he didnt want his trip wasted, he took the bike and left (save himself some dignity).but its quite scary lor. imagine if i closed the window later abit and he would see me. -sucks breath in-
so, the most interesting bit of the whole thing was, after a while.. another police car came and the forensic guy came with his tools and glove and started dusting for fingerprints. and i swear, every car that went past our house was like slowing down and wondering what happened. it looked like some homicide case lor! somemore, they put the "A" and "B" at where the bicycle was, as though it was a homicide case or something! LOL! the attention was pretty exhilarating lor! x= i bet, this will be in the heads of all those kaypoh people, causing them to have insomnia because they must be racking their brains, "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THERE? MURDER? RAPE? RAPE AND MURDER???" teehee. x=
they needed to bring the bike back as evidence. lol! but couldnt squeeze into the police car. lol! so, the 2 cops went back first.. leaving the poor guy with the bike. then after about 15 minutes, they came back with a van (another attention grabbing moment, cus the van is those vans u'll see on tv .. to catch the criminals kind) and they were gone. so interesting! i dont mean to be shallow and ignorant la. but then, it really totally spiced my afternoon up. even uncle raymond said so! but well, on a serious note, it does remind us to keep the safety of our homes in mind lor. yeah. ok, i made a couple of observations through that short hour or so, here goes:
1. Deepak really is very charming! though he's married and old and has a kid, but he really is the kind of guy i would like to be on a date with. (NOT HIM! but that kind of genre) .. the kind of guy that makes me feel ignorant! (p/s: i do not have a crush on him la. its just, his gel-ed up hair, plus well-groomed face and stuff.. very very very.. michael buble/george clooney/il divo but with a knowledgable brain kind of guy!)
2. Uncle raymond looks like brandon wong (coincidentally exactly same name as the brandon i know. but this is the mediacorp actor). very fucking alike i tell u! just wear some specs and put some facial hair, and THERE YOU HAVE IT!
3. Uncle raymond was like "so, you're in sec 2 or sec 3 ar?" HAAAAAAAAAAAA! TOTALLY STROKED MY EGO! HAHAHAHHA! i was like "im 20 years old already x:" and he's like.. sorry! then i said "thanks!! no need to be sorry!" HAHAHHAHHAHAH! WOOOT!
4. OMG. i found out that, fuck! i should have gone to a JC! i was looking at the forensic guy dusting for fingerprints. OMFG. i swear to god, last time, i really LOVED chemistry. and i told juju (my tutor) that i wanna be a forensic person! then she was like, GOOD! go for it etc. then, yes, stupid me, wanna be what accountant! omg la! i really kept looking at him sweeping the thing for evidence and prolly taking it back to the lab for more testing! HOW FUCKING INTERESTING! omg!!!! regretted my career path lar!!!!!!!!! i mean, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME! driving the police car to ur regular neighbourhood, taking out my briefcase, putting on those gloves, looking all smart and calm and just dusting for evidence! NAISE! good game lor. nice, shirley. well done. I SHOULD HAVE STUCK WITH IT! maybe, I SHOULD HAVE APPLIED FOR SCIENCE DEGREE IN UNI LOR! sekali can go public uni anyway. ZOMG. too late. case closed.
5. that attention i was basking in, FELT GOOOOD~
thats all. LOL! damn eggciting right! was totally involved in the process also! naise like fuck. oh fuck, gotta study for econs tonight. 2 more weeks till exams.
This is Shirley Lim, reporting, from Shirley's crib!
at about 3am, this guy (clad in black polo tee, jeans, white shoes, white specs, quite tall, skinny), rode a bicycle until our housegate outside and looked around to see if anyone was looking. he took out a hammer, put it across the gate into our compound and then climbed up the gate in 1 step and just jumped over. then, we can still see him walk into the lift lobby. (that fellow didnt even noticed the CCTV leh! we were joking that he might have thought the cameras were spoilt since they looked really old, good decoy!) then, after about 10 minutes, he came down with a bicycle. we can still see him adjusting the seat (cus he was shorter than uncle raymond) and noticing if the light was working.. and then he rode off from the side gate and off he went! LOL! then he left his bicycle by the side of our house! SO funny!
luckily, our doors cannot be opened from the outside, but can only be opened from the inside, which is prolly why he cant come in. so, maybe he didnt want his trip wasted, he took the bike and left (save himself some dignity).but its quite scary lor. imagine if i closed the window later abit and he would see me. -sucks breath in-
so, the most interesting bit of the whole thing was, after a while.. another police car came and the forensic guy came with his tools and glove and started dusting for fingerprints. and i swear, every car that went past our house was like slowing down and wondering what happened. it looked like some homicide case lor! somemore, they put the "A" and "B" at where the bicycle was, as though it was a homicide case or something! LOL! the attention was pretty exhilarating lor! x= i bet, this will be in the heads of all those kaypoh people, causing them to have insomnia because they must be racking their brains, "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THERE? MURDER? RAPE? RAPE AND MURDER???" teehee. x=
they needed to bring the bike back as evidence. lol! but couldnt squeeze into the police car. lol! so, the 2 cops went back first.. leaving the poor guy with the bike. then after about 15 minutes, they came back with a van (another attention grabbing moment, cus the van is those vans u'll see on tv .. to catch the criminals kind) and they were gone. so interesting! i dont mean to be shallow and ignorant la. but then, it really totally spiced my afternoon up. even uncle raymond said so! but well, on a serious note, it does remind us to keep the safety of our homes in mind lor. yeah. ok, i made a couple of observations through that short hour or so, here goes:
1. Deepak really is very charming! though he's married and old and has a kid, but he really is the kind of guy i would like to be on a date with. (NOT HIM! but that kind of genre) .. the kind of guy that makes me feel ignorant! (p/s: i do not have a crush on him la. its just, his gel-ed up hair, plus well-groomed face and stuff.. very very very.. michael buble/george clooney/il divo but with a knowledgable brain kind of guy!)
2. Uncle raymond looks like brandon wong (coincidentally exactly same name as the brandon i know. but this is the mediacorp actor). very fucking alike i tell u! just wear some specs and put some facial hair, and THERE YOU HAVE IT!
3. Uncle raymond was like "so, you're in sec 2 or sec 3 ar?" HAAAAAAAAAAAA! TOTALLY STROKED MY EGO! HAHAHAHHA! i was like "im 20 years old already x:" and he's like.. sorry! then i said "thanks!! no need to be sorry!" HAHAHHAHHAHAH! WOOOT!
4. OMG. i found out that, fuck! i should have gone to a JC! i was looking at the forensic guy dusting for fingerprints. OMFG. i swear to god, last time, i really LOVED chemistry. and i told juju (my tutor) that i wanna be a forensic person! then she was like, GOOD! go for it etc. then, yes, stupid me, wanna be what accountant! omg la! i really kept looking at him sweeping the thing for evidence and prolly taking it back to the lab for more testing! HOW FUCKING INTERESTING! omg!!!! regretted my career path lar!!!!!!!!! i mean, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME! driving the police car to ur regular neighbourhood, taking out my briefcase, putting on those gloves, looking all smart and calm and just dusting for evidence! NAISE! good game lor. nice, shirley. well done. I SHOULD HAVE STUCK WITH IT! maybe, I SHOULD HAVE APPLIED FOR SCIENCE DEGREE IN UNI LOR! sekali can go public uni anyway. ZOMG. too late. case closed.
5. that attention i was basking in, FELT GOOOOD~
thats all. LOL! damn eggciting right! was totally involved in the process also! naise like fuck. oh fuck, gotta study for econs tonight. 2 more weeks till exams.
This is Shirley Lim, reporting, from Shirley's crib!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
honestly speaking,
sigh! there are days i wanna desperately leave singletondom. there are days, i celebrate being single. there are days, i would give everything in just to be in the shoes of those being loved just to feel how it is.. to love and be loved in return. then there are days i just thank god i was never in this kinda trouble. haha. irony ar. its like, my attached friends tell me sometimes, they wished they're single like me. lol! i wonder how is that possible. oh well. guess it goes both ways.
i really really really am desperate, but to find a guy whom i can love la! thats all i want. sigh. just one. one will do. its like, they say, uni is the last chance already lor. lol!! even though i dun mind being an old maid, but i wanna at least taste love before i resign to being one leh. oh fuckk. but SIM girls are chio and they know how to dress up. sure wont find one one lor. oh well. really should know one's limits. stupid rant. just ignore. lol.
i really really really am desperate, but to find a guy whom i can love la! thats all i want. sigh. just one. one will do. its like, they say, uni is the last chance already lor. lol!! even though i dun mind being an old maid, but i wanna at least taste love before i resign to being one leh. oh fuckk. but SIM girls are chio and they know how to dress up. sure wont find one one lor. oh well. really should know one's limits. stupid rant. just ignore. lol.
What a buzzing thursday night
Geez. i realised i havent blogged for a while. gahh. maybe have been too sian to just.. blog. nothing much since monday lor. other than.. thursday morning, when some dude passed his FTT and woke me up from my beauty sleep. hahah. bo bian la, who ask me to be so naise! [: anyway, my lack of sleep was compensated with a yummy deal of salmon from EWF! [= FTW! hahaha.
then, at night, went to SP for dinner with adeline and tingfang. then we headed to the quietest toilet for me to put contacts and do makeup for clubbing. headed to cityhall where i met regina's friends. yea, none of my orientation friends went. so i had to crash in with reggie's friends. wow, the guys were really good looking. x= but aiya, im out of their leagues. so chatted with reggie. was so happy and hyper cus i drank kopi-o before heading to cityhall. x: then, her friends went to marina square to drink while i had to go esplanade with reggie to collect tickets from may. fuck la, that part. her friends kept dillydallying. aited for an hour just for the tix leh. WTF! is my night of freedom and how dare she rob me of that important hour! BLAH! then we finally went to find reggie's friends at marina square. when we went there, had to down a cup of vodka sprite for starters. then her friend refilled for us, coke with vodka. then, chantel didnt wanna drink, so i took hers. then we played indian poker and i lost twice. had to drink vodka again. plus, they filled half cup vodka, half cup of coke. GG! then, i lost again, and think they mixed martell. had to drink in one shot. then reggie bought a can of beer. and i downed half of it. then, we wanted to go toilet, they say have to finish some martell thing in one mouth. gah! there it went. by the time i went to the toilet, cannot see straight/think straight. needed reggie to hold my hand. she was like equally drunk.
then i decided to try smoking. x= so took a puff from chantel's ciggy. BLAH. very very choking. coughed like fuck. but it was menthol, so had this cold thing running down my windpipe. NAH, will never smoke again. rather smoke salmon. where will get addicted lor! chey! i think, unless i get very depressed or i go nuts, if nt, wont ever touch the ciggy again. then, we went to esplanade rooftop to find more of their friends. i felt quite alone. with chantel. cus all were reggie's friends and we didnt know them. then i just keep looking at the cityview with chantel on the roof. until they were ready to move to supperclub. was uite cui. needed chantel to hold my hand.. just so u know, it sucks to be drunk and feel alone. and just needed to keep sitting down. chantel keep telling me to sit up straight. then finally, we cabbed to supperclub where me and reggie made a lot of noise and the uncle kept chuckling. lol. reached and we waited for some other ppl. i just sat on the steps and slept. saw alot of ppl puking. it was an ugly scene. then dunno what happened, we were at supperclub. i kept leaning against the railing. then, reggie got very very drunk and we were seperated cus i was in no shape to take care of her. i danced a while with chantel but it was so fucking crowded, its frustrating to dance. so we just headed to the bar and i needed a seat badly. and supperclub had beds at the side. so i couldnt resist and i went to sleep. for about 10 minutes and i just woke up and went to find chantel. she was still there and i was q sober. so i wanted to drink and we bought... FLAMING LAMBO! it was nice being the centre of attraction as the flames went down the bottle and the whole world cheered for us.
then, i got super high and drunk again and we tried to dance. this time, i found reggie and huiyan. and we just danced together. well, i was hoping to meet a hot guy and have a good time. which single girl doesn't crave the attention? haha! then when i was trying to dance with reggie, this guy just comes from behind and tried to hug me and stuff la. so at first, was quite enjoying the attention. then reggie they all kept laughing their ass off. they keep doing the "he looks ugly" sign! but from his arms, he seems macho. LOL. so i tried to turn back and he keep trying to kiss me. then finally, changed song and i seperated myself from him and i saw. erm, not say very ugly looking la. but reggie later told me, he looked damn horny! LOL! aiyah. expected. then hor, reggie pushed me to him leh! WTF! that bitch. then he hugged me.. then they 2 kept giggling and reggie took a pic. i couldnt even see properly lo. then he brought me to another corner. then i kept looking out for reggie. plus, i was in a school event. saw sihua/chantel at every corner. but he just kept hugging, which i didnt mind. v macho, his arms. and his back also. LOL. whatever la, i sound despo.. but ar, thats the catch about being single! [= then he kissed me on the lips, i immediately backed away. so much for wanting a good time! then i told him i dun wanna kiss. i mean, i've been single and lonely while the whole world has been attached and now a quite ok-looking guy wants to kiss me and backed away. so not me. but i didnt know why i did that. then he just apologised and asked me to stay with him for 15 minutes. then i did lor. then he kept hugging me. i didnt feel excited/ happy.. just as though.. it was a stroll in the park. at 4am, lights came on and he asked me for my number. i just gave him my number.... x= was really very shagged. quickly went to find reggie and the rest and they kept mocking me. lol. assss. then took a cab to northpoint for macs. and then, we chatted till about 5.30am.. then i went to her house and rested.. i couldnt even sleep. waited till 7.30am then left her place.
i forgot how cooling and crisp the morning air can get. haha. i couldnt find the bus stop to northpoint for half an hour. and no one was awake. so slowly walked in a half-drunken/100% sleep-deprived way. and finally found. went home and slept thru. woke up at 2.30pm. was supposed to leave house at 2.30pm for school. quickly left home without makeup ]: and took cab to cityhall.
i feel old already. firstly, i cant help but feel the party was quite boring. though was high and drunk, plus with flaming lambo? but not much feel to dance. then when got quite good-loooking guy giving me attention and i kept looking out for my friends. he keep asking why i wanna look for my friends. fyi, he never text me alr. think he saw reggie they all laughing at him. x= i feel damn bad. hopefully he took it well. i really didnt have much feel to dance. fuck. i didnt even have a very good time leh. sigh! i really wanna look for the old feeling leh. the, excited and keep dancing feel. hopefully can feel that feeling soon! i miss it. it makes me feel young. maybe i just need to club properly. at a club with no beds. ST JAMES LA! i miss st james. gonna club there from now. i said i am going to quit clubbing. i guess, i wont 100% quit la. unless i get attached. i'll just go once in a while la. anyway the crowd just gets younger and i get older. lol. yupp. thats all. shall go shower then come and blog somemore. see la. got menses. damn sian. ciao.
LOVE this snack!
then, at night, went to SP for dinner with adeline and tingfang. then we headed to the quietest toilet for me to put contacts and do makeup for clubbing. headed to cityhall where i met regina's friends. yea, none of my orientation friends went. so i had to crash in with reggie's friends. wow, the guys were really good looking. x= but aiya, im out of their leagues. so chatted with reggie. was so happy and hyper cus i drank kopi-o before heading to cityhall. x: then, her friends went to marina square to drink while i had to go esplanade with reggie to collect tickets from may. fuck la, that part. her friends kept dillydallying. aited for an hour just for the tix leh. WTF! is my night of freedom and how dare she rob me of that important hour! BLAH! then we finally went to find reggie's friends at marina square. when we went there, had to down a cup of vodka sprite for starters. then her friend refilled for us, coke with vodka. then, chantel didnt wanna drink, so i took hers. then we played indian poker and i lost twice. had to drink vodka again. plus, they filled half cup vodka, half cup of coke. GG! then, i lost again, and think they mixed martell. had to drink in one shot. then reggie bought a can of beer. and i downed half of it. then, we wanted to go toilet, they say have to finish some martell thing in one mouth. gah! there it went. by the time i went to the toilet, cannot see straight/think straight. needed reggie to hold my hand. she was like equally drunk.
then i decided to try smoking. x= so took a puff from chantel's ciggy. BLAH. very very choking. coughed like fuck. but it was menthol, so had this cold thing running down my windpipe. NAH, will never smoke again. rather smoke salmon. where will get addicted lor! chey! i think, unless i get very depressed or i go nuts, if nt, wont ever touch the ciggy again. then, we went to esplanade rooftop to find more of their friends. i felt quite alone. with chantel. cus all were reggie's friends and we didnt know them. then i just keep looking at the cityview with chantel on the roof. until they were ready to move to supperclub. was uite cui. needed chantel to hold my hand.. just so u know, it sucks to be drunk and feel alone. and just needed to keep sitting down. chantel keep telling me to sit up straight. then finally, we cabbed to supperclub where me and reggie made a lot of noise and the uncle kept chuckling. lol. reached and we waited for some other ppl. i just sat on the steps and slept. saw alot of ppl puking. it was an ugly scene. then dunno what happened, we were at supperclub. i kept leaning against the railing. then, reggie got very very drunk and we were seperated cus i was in no shape to take care of her. i danced a while with chantel but it was so fucking crowded, its frustrating to dance. so we just headed to the bar and i needed a seat badly. and supperclub had beds at the side. so i couldnt resist and i went to sleep. for about 10 minutes and i just woke up and went to find chantel. she was still there and i was q sober. so i wanted to drink and we bought... FLAMING LAMBO! it was nice being the centre of attraction as the flames went down the bottle and the whole world cheered for us.
then, i got super high and drunk again and we tried to dance. this time, i found reggie and huiyan. and we just danced together. well, i was hoping to meet a hot guy and have a good time. which single girl doesn't crave the attention? haha! then when i was trying to dance with reggie, this guy just comes from behind and tried to hug me and stuff la. so at first, was quite enjoying the attention. then reggie they all kept laughing their ass off. they keep doing the "he looks ugly" sign! but from his arms, he seems macho. LOL. so i tried to turn back and he keep trying to kiss me. then finally, changed song and i seperated myself from him and i saw. erm, not say very ugly looking la. but reggie later told me, he looked damn horny! LOL! aiyah. expected. then hor, reggie pushed me to him leh! WTF! that bitch. then he hugged me.. then they 2 kept giggling and reggie took a pic. i couldnt even see properly lo. then he brought me to another corner. then i kept looking out for reggie. plus, i was in a school event. saw sihua/chantel at every corner. but he just kept hugging, which i didnt mind. v macho, his arms. and his back also. LOL. whatever la, i sound despo.. but ar, thats the catch about being single! [= then he kissed me on the lips, i immediately backed away. so much for wanting a good time! then i told him i dun wanna kiss. i mean, i've been single and lonely while the whole world has been attached and now a quite ok-looking guy wants to kiss me and backed away. so not me. but i didnt know why i did that. then he just apologised and asked me to stay with him for 15 minutes. then i did lor. then he kept hugging me. i didnt feel excited/ happy.. just as though.. it was a stroll in the park. at 4am, lights came on and he asked me for my number. i just gave him my number.... x= was really very shagged. quickly went to find reggie and the rest and they kept mocking me. lol. assss. then took a cab to northpoint for macs. and then, we chatted till about 5.30am.. then i went to her house and rested.. i couldnt even sleep. waited till 7.30am then left her place.
i forgot how cooling and crisp the morning air can get. haha. i couldnt find the bus stop to northpoint for half an hour. and no one was awake. so slowly walked in a half-drunken/100% sleep-deprived way. and finally found. went home and slept thru. woke up at 2.30pm. was supposed to leave house at 2.30pm for school. quickly left home without makeup ]: and took cab to cityhall.
i feel old already. firstly, i cant help but feel the party was quite boring. though was high and drunk, plus with flaming lambo? but not much feel to dance. then when got quite good-loooking guy giving me attention and i kept looking out for my friends. he keep asking why i wanna look for my friends. fyi, he never text me alr. think he saw reggie they all laughing at him. x= i feel damn bad. hopefully he took it well. i really didnt have much feel to dance. fuck. i didnt even have a very good time leh. sigh! i really wanna look for the old feeling leh. the, excited and keep dancing feel. hopefully can feel that feeling soon! i miss it. it makes me feel young. maybe i just need to club properly. at a club with no beds. ST JAMES LA! i miss st james. gonna club there from now. i said i am going to quit clubbing. i guess, i wont 100% quit la. unless i get attached. i'll just go once in a while la. anyway the crowd just gets younger and i get older. lol. yupp. thats all. shall go shower then come and blog somemore. see la. got menses. damn sian. ciao.
LOVE this snack!
Monday, July 19, 2010
987fm-only the hitss
i fucking love the change on 987fm! Yesss. I can totally imagine mugging from 8 to 3am! I used to loveeee listening to shan wee in his late night show.. And young and his 'say it with music' last time! Then, they change.. And though there was muttons to midnight.. They were too distracting to mug to. Esp justin's joke of the day! So distracting lor. Hahahah
Now, shan and rozz is frm 8pm to 12mn. Super love shan and rozzzz! Somemore i love reading rozz's blog! Ahhaha. And nw, mr young can accompany me till 3am! I hated desiree lai's show lor. The previous dj for the 12 to 3am timeslot. She keeps putting those sound effects and she's not very funny la. Yay! Hope it stays like this for a looooooooooooooong looooooooooooooooong time leh. Love it now!
Rllly miss listening to carrie chong and daniel ong. Hahaha.
Now, shan and rozz is frm 8pm to 12mn. Super love shan and rozzzz! Somemore i love reading rozz's blog! Ahhaha. And nw, mr young can accompany me till 3am! I hated desiree lai's show lor. The previous dj for the 12 to 3am timeslot. She keeps putting those sound effects and she's not very funny la. Yay! Hope it stays like this for a looooooooooooooong looooooooooooooooong time leh. Love it now!
Rllly miss listening to carrie chong and daniel ong. Hahaha.
great start to the week
just reached home. Met the girls and bertsie after school for oasis! Hahaha. Bertsie met some of my poly friends. Wasnt as awkward as i thought it wouuld be. Hahahaah. Took train to toa payoh to meet w emsy and sx and went for dinner. I was sooo hungry. Hahaa. So glad to just eat all my favouriteeeee food and be able to talk abt anything with them. Was a bit crazy though. Hahahhaha. Then, we took 31 back home.. And still chatted and stuff. Hahahha. Yup.
Depite feeling happy just now, I now feel empty. Why??
Depite feeling happy just now, I now feel empty. Why??
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Dear Xiao Mao,
It's weird blogging about this while talking to you on msn nonetheless! haha. we met on our internship at mazars. i remembered thinking.. "waa. that girl so shy one ar..." and then we had our first lunch at lau pa sat.. and i thought i heard u say "ass hole" when u meant something else. i remembered the guy in front of u turned back and look at u! lol! then we laughed like mad. and then, ur true self was revealed. all the vulgarities and stuff! LOL! and then, we were attached to different areas.. but for the last 4 weeks, we were together again. and i remembered, soup spoon incident. where we happened to walk past soup spoon to lau pa sat.. and we both walk backwards without any communication... together because we saw the same hot guy! hahhaha! then we decided to eat there despite being fucking broke (actually, come to think of it, theres hardly any time in our friendship that i recall us being rich x:) we went in, and then i told u to hurry chope seats. but these few indian guys just took the seats from u saying 'its taken'. we were fuming mad cus we had to da-bao the expensive lunch back to office and miss oogling at SS guy.
and then, we actually talked about going clubbing together and booking a hotel. i thought it was all talk. and then, we really went to book a room in hotel 81.. and clubbed at st james for the very first time in my life, with lele. u forgot to bring ur IC and we went back to the hotel to get it. then at the entrance, we met J and wl. i remember we sat at the bar and we just ordered a lot and lele kept protecting us. we talked about everything. u spilled everything. i spilled everything about me. and we just laughed and drank and talked. then when we danced, we saw j and wl. and we exchanged numbers. we got back to the hotel.. where we shared the double bed and lele just slept on the sofa. but we couldn't sleep!!! we were sooo excited over j and wl! hahah! and then, j texted u.wl texted me. hahahh!!! remember, fwenx? HAHAHHA. we just giggled and laughed and just toooo high to even sleep although we're exhausted!
and then, during that time, we kept ebuddying about the colleagues at mazars. giving them nicknames.. and talking about MH and gab on ebuddy. and how we would go lau pa sat for lunch everyday eating ba chor mee and fen yuans. and when we were too broke to eat both, we just chose to eat fen yuans. for lunch! i remember my tummy just rumbling like mad for the rest of the day.
i thought the last day of internship would mark the end of our communication.. but we just grew stronger. we texted lame random stuff to each other everyday. we'll give each other nicknames.. and everyday, without fail, we'd be texting and then msn-ing. even up till today. the only times we didnt was when i was overseas.. or u were overseas. i loved shopping with u. though we're broke.. but we'd hang out at FEP and just looking at stuff and then will complain about being broke. and then, who can forget the times when we would purposely go back to lau pa sat just to eat fen yuans and remember the times when we'd sit at the super hot place, sweating and yet, can still talk about endless things! boys, r/s, shopping, friendship, family stuff and so on.. it never ends. somemore, we can ebuddy the entire day, text on the way home and go on msn and STILL have stuff to tell each other!
The highlight of our friendship was how we stuck on despite being in different class/ different cliques/ different everything! and how we were there for one another. when i had relationship ups, i'd share them with u. i thought u would be disgusted and sian... and somemore, i keep repeating the same stuff to you, whether its good or bad news... and you'll always be there! your replies would always be super supportive. no matter what. and remember kl? the days u and kl eye to eye and u'd message me. and i remember a period of time when my entire inbox was filled with stuff about kl! hahahha! and about seah seah. and mollie and mozzie. and i guess, ur inbox was filled with sly. i can always tell u EVERYTHING! no matter how stupid, how silly, how pathetic the thing im going to tell u is, whether its about the guy digging his nose in the mrt, or about my first kiss, my first date, my mum, my family... i'll turn to u first. because u never laugh at me. or u never give me one-word replies. u'll tell me how u feel. u'll comfort me. u'll assure me that everything is alright.
and remember the days we'd meet up for mugging sessions at esplanade library? and we'll always buy sushi and sit at the river and talk? and rmember the time where we both wore heels.. and even though our feets were killing us and we were scolding vulgarities from one end of cityhall to the next, we still insisted on going to the river! haha. and remember the days when we're too broke to go to mama's carribean .. we'll go to singapore river with a bottle of heinekein and talk and talk and talk. we never get sick of talking about the past. or gossiping. or just.. telling each other how we truly felt.
we have been super sticky to each other like glue before.. we have also drifted apart before.. and we both were scared then.. we promise to not drift apart and we both know that we're very important to each other. your place in my heart and my place in your heart (as u've reassured me before) has surpassed boyfriends and sweethearts. no one will ever understand how we feel for one another. i tell u things i never dare tell anyone. i tell u the darkest feelings i've felt that were so unethical, if i said it, i'd go to hell for it. but with u, it just comes out...
i don't know how often we'll bump into each other like in SP times.. where we see each other and we'll give the "bunz" sign. or we just look at each other and give the lame smile. with our tight schedules and new friends, i dont know where ur friendship will take us to. we swear to never drift apart but we both know that in reality, theres still a possibility. but we're both fucking scared to the max that this will happen... haha. but baby, no matter what happens, as long as u need a listening ear, im here. i know that, we've been less and less close as compared to mazars time.. but i'll definitely still be there when u need me. haha! u know my number! as cliche as it sounds, i hope we'll be friends forever because there is no way i'm going to find another girl like u who will know me so well and accept me for who i am despite seeing all and every single of my flaws. so, thank you for being there bunz.
as i always say, "i love you (in an unlesbian way)".
yours truthfully,
xiao niao.
p/s: i tagged this post under your name. if ever ever ever u feel down and im away.. read this ba. and if ever u miss me, u can read this. and if ever i feel im drifting from you, i'd read this too! hahaha. [: love ya.
It's weird blogging about this while talking to you on msn nonetheless! haha. we met on our internship at mazars. i remembered thinking.. "waa. that girl so shy one ar..." and then we had our first lunch at lau pa sat.. and i thought i heard u say "ass hole" when u meant something else. i remembered the guy in front of u turned back and look at u! lol! then we laughed like mad. and then, ur true self was revealed. all the vulgarities and stuff! LOL! and then, we were attached to different areas.. but for the last 4 weeks, we were together again. and i remembered, soup spoon incident. where we happened to walk past soup spoon to lau pa sat.. and we both walk backwards without any communication... together because we saw the same hot guy! hahhaha! then we decided to eat there despite being fucking broke (actually, come to think of it, theres hardly any time in our friendship that i recall us being rich x:) we went in, and then i told u to hurry chope seats. but these few indian guys just took the seats from u saying 'its taken'. we were fuming mad cus we had to da-bao the expensive lunch back to office and miss oogling at SS guy.
and then, we actually talked about going clubbing together and booking a hotel. i thought it was all talk. and then, we really went to book a room in hotel 81.. and clubbed at st james for the very first time in my life, with lele. u forgot to bring ur IC and we went back to the hotel to get it. then at the entrance, we met J and wl. i remember we sat at the bar and we just ordered a lot and lele kept protecting us. we talked about everything. u spilled everything. i spilled everything about me. and we just laughed and drank and talked. then when we danced, we saw j and wl. and we exchanged numbers. we got back to the hotel.. where we shared the double bed and lele just slept on the sofa. but we couldn't sleep!!! we were sooo excited over j and wl! hahah! and then, j texted u.wl texted me. hahahh!!! remember, fwenx? HAHAHHA. we just giggled and laughed and just toooo high to even sleep although we're exhausted!
and then, during that time, we kept ebuddying about the colleagues at mazars. giving them nicknames.. and talking about MH and gab on ebuddy. and how we would go lau pa sat for lunch everyday eating ba chor mee and fen yuans. and when we were too broke to eat both, we just chose to eat fen yuans. for lunch! i remember my tummy just rumbling like mad for the rest of the day.
i thought the last day of internship would mark the end of our communication.. but we just grew stronger. we texted lame random stuff to each other everyday. we'll give each other nicknames.. and everyday, without fail, we'd be texting and then msn-ing. even up till today. the only times we didnt was when i was overseas.. or u were overseas. i loved shopping with u. though we're broke.. but we'd hang out at FEP and just looking at stuff and then will complain about being broke. and then, who can forget the times when we would purposely go back to lau pa sat just to eat fen yuans and remember the times when we'd sit at the super hot place, sweating and yet, can still talk about endless things! boys, r/s, shopping, friendship, family stuff and so on.. it never ends. somemore, we can ebuddy the entire day, text on the way home and go on msn and STILL have stuff to tell each other!
The highlight of our friendship was how we stuck on despite being in different class/ different cliques/ different everything! and how we were there for one another. when i had relationship ups, i'd share them with u. i thought u would be disgusted and sian... and somemore, i keep repeating the same stuff to you, whether its good or bad news... and you'll always be there! your replies would always be super supportive. no matter what. and remember kl? the days u and kl eye to eye and u'd message me. and i remember a period of time when my entire inbox was filled with stuff about kl! hahahha! and about seah seah. and mollie and mozzie. and i guess, ur inbox was filled with sly. i can always tell u EVERYTHING! no matter how stupid, how silly, how pathetic the thing im going to tell u is, whether its about the guy digging his nose in the mrt, or about my first kiss, my first date, my mum, my family... i'll turn to u first. because u never laugh at me. or u never give me one-word replies. u'll tell me how u feel. u'll comfort me. u'll assure me that everything is alright.
and remember the days we'd meet up for mugging sessions at esplanade library? and we'll always buy sushi and sit at the river and talk? and rmember the time where we both wore heels.. and even though our feets were killing us and we were scolding vulgarities from one end of cityhall to the next, we still insisted on going to the river! haha. and remember the days when we're too broke to go to mama's carribean .. we'll go to singapore river with a bottle of heinekein and talk and talk and talk. we never get sick of talking about the past. or gossiping. or just.. telling each other how we truly felt.
we have been super sticky to each other like glue before.. we have also drifted apart before.. and we both were scared then.. we promise to not drift apart and we both know that we're very important to each other. your place in my heart and my place in your heart (as u've reassured me before) has surpassed boyfriends and sweethearts. no one will ever understand how we feel for one another. i tell u things i never dare tell anyone. i tell u the darkest feelings i've felt that were so unethical, if i said it, i'd go to hell for it. but with u, it just comes out...
i don't know how often we'll bump into each other like in SP times.. where we see each other and we'll give the "bunz" sign. or we just look at each other and give the lame smile. with our tight schedules and new friends, i dont know where ur friendship will take us to. we swear to never drift apart but we both know that in reality, theres still a possibility. but we're both fucking scared to the max that this will happen... haha. but baby, no matter what happens, as long as u need a listening ear, im here. i know that, we've been less and less close as compared to mazars time.. but i'll definitely still be there when u need me. haha! u know my number! as cliche as it sounds, i hope we'll be friends forever because there is no way i'm going to find another girl like u who will know me so well and accept me for who i am despite seeing all and every single of my flaws. so, thank you for being there bunz.
as i always say, "i love you (in an unlesbian way)".
yours truthfully,
xiao niao.
p/s: i tagged this post under your name. if ever ever ever u feel down and im away.. read this ba. and if ever u miss me, u can read this. and if ever i feel im drifting from you, i'd read this too! hahaha. [: love ya.
A task i will do.
i was randomly blog-hopping. and i stumbled upon this task:
Write a letter each day to: Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
Happpy birrrthday EMMA LAU!
heyy! firstly, really sorry for taking so long to blog about emsy the emo emu's birthday! have been procrastinating alot. hahaha. details of life since thursday:
thursday met up with shu xian before school to go and get emma's cake done at 313. and also to go and find a birthday present for her. she has been into jodi picoult's books as of late.. and so, we went to choose a book that will suit her, and in the end, shu xian and myself bought one book each! hahahha. then we went to have lunch at handburger where we saw aditi and her uni friends. she still looks the same, so cheerful and pretty. haha. after that, we went to do emsy's cake.. we thought alot about it and decided to go with the golf theme since emma's really golfy.
the surface of the cake. the yellow bird is an emu. yeah, i do know emus don't fly. but i just didnt think of THAT at the moment i drew the cake. the pig's drawn by sx. cus the most favouritest animal of emma's isss.... THE PIG! hahaha. she has one million pigs at home!
Emsy the golfer!
she will hit the 20th hole... though there isnt a 20th hole. hahaha! normally theres only 18.. but for emma, there'll be 20! cus she's 20!
me and sx cheering for her!
done by us!
hahhaha. and friday, we met up with emma to celebrate her birthday at imperial treasures at Paragon! so funny, i had to meet up with shu xian to go there early to put the cake in first. so, emma called me in the bus .. and i had to pretend to be super late. and sx too, when we were kinda reaching already! haha. then we headed to imperial treasures and passed the lady the cake since emma has made reservations. so we waited outside imperial treasures waiting for her to come.. and we told her we reached already. she was quite shock cus shes "supposed" to have reached earlier than us. then she came and meet us and the funniest part happened:
the moment emma came, we went in. and the waitress didnt even ask for emma's reservations and just brought us to our table! LOL! i was sniggering behind emma lar! then emma was like saying "WA. their service soo good one ar" LOL! then shu xian still said "maybe cus they see 3 of us then knew its us" LOLOL!
then when we were seated, one of the waitress came and said in chinese "u're the table with the cake right?".. then the other waitress quickly nudged her and sx quickly said "no..". hahaha. then i quickly told emma i needed the loo and told the waitress that we had a cake for her but its a surprise! hahahhaha!!
so lunch went on and it was very fun. hahaha. dim sum was good. lotsa chitchats about stuff la. basically, no strict agenda or what. hahah. and haiya, our topics will definitely revolve around -er hem- one! hahaha!!
after that, me and sx went toilet and told the lady to bring the cake in ... while we were busy cam-whoring! hahaha. then, the lady brought plates and forks in despite us having nothing left to eat.. and emma also never suspected. then the lady brought the cake in and emma was surprised!!! [= so nice to see her smile so wide!!!! [= always a pleasure!
if u realise, the unique thing about this clique of mine is that, WE LOVE TO CAMWHORE IN THE TOILETTT! hahah!! [= hardly is there one outing where theres no toilet shots one! i still remembered us going to flutes at the fort where sx spilled the vase of water cus we wanted cam-whore in the toilet!aahhahah
so after that, went to school... and after that, met up with khng and chantel. went to get my eyebrows done. first time trying browhaus and the woman say, she wont recommend me using threading alone cus my eyebrows too thick already! LOL! so i went for threading and plucking. omg. really, u get what u pay. at paya lebar, i pay $6 per session and its only plucking. i tell u, if i wanted a perfect torture for my most-hated enemy, i'd put her in that seat in that salon, strap her to the seat and ask her to go through eye-brow plucking session under the hands of the china people. i tell u, its tear-inducing pain. esp when i dun trim often.. its even worse. but... at browhaus.. its like.. hardly hurts. just abit, but totally a-walk-in-the-park compared to the paya lebar one. but then, i paid $21 for the whole thing. most expensive pair of eyebrows in my life!
saturday slacked for half the day and went out with nancy goh. just chilled. and basically walked through the ENTIRE orchard road. im nt kidding. from ion, to paragon, to sommerset, to dhoby to find jon.. and then... we just hopped onto whichever bus that came and played by ear. and headed back to orchard cine and scape again.. and then back home. for abalone mee sua! awesome shiat. love the abalone! was a caaarraazzyyy day. was tired, then became alive, then tired, then alive, then super tired and then super alive. lol! naise.
as for today, just headed for lunch with family at redezvous. sad ar, the nasi padang place is shifting soon. i guess i'll miss it much. haha. then came home, changed bedsheets. after lunch, super sleepy. and had to change bedsheet in the cool climate. i couldnt resist but to sleep on the cool sheets. got caught by mum and nagged. lol! then went to bro's room to watch family guy together. then dozed off on his bed. with elmo. haha. then headed to eat prawn porridge. omfg. naise like mad. then came home and blogged. hahaha!
hahha. going off now. bye!
thursday met up with shu xian before school to go and get emma's cake done at 313. and also to go and find a birthday present for her. she has been into jodi picoult's books as of late.. and so, we went to choose a book that will suit her, and in the end, shu xian and myself bought one book each! hahahha. then we went to have lunch at handburger where we saw aditi and her uni friends. she still looks the same, so cheerful and pretty. haha. after that, we went to do emsy's cake.. we thought alot about it and decided to go with the golf theme since emma's really golfy.
the surface of the cake. the yellow bird is an emu. yeah, i do know emus don't fly. but i just didnt think of THAT at the moment i drew the cake. the pig's drawn by sx. cus the most favouritest animal of emma's isss.... THE PIG! hahaha. she has one million pigs at home!
Emsy the golfer!
she will hit the 20th hole... though there isnt a 20th hole. hahaha! normally theres only 18.. but for emma, there'll be 20! cus she's 20!
me and sx cheering for her!
done by us!hahhaha. and friday, we met up with emma to celebrate her birthday at imperial treasures at Paragon! so funny, i had to meet up with shu xian to go there early to put the cake in first. so, emma called me in the bus .. and i had to pretend to be super late. and sx too, when we were kinda reaching already! haha. then we headed to imperial treasures and passed the lady the cake since emma has made reservations. so we waited outside imperial treasures waiting for her to come.. and we told her we reached already. she was quite shock cus shes "supposed" to have reached earlier than us. then she came and meet us and the funniest part happened:
the moment emma came, we went in. and the waitress didnt even ask for emma's reservations and just brought us to our table! LOL! i was sniggering behind emma lar! then emma was like saying "WA. their service soo good one ar" LOL! then shu xian still said "maybe cus they see 3 of us then knew its us" LOLOL!
then when we were seated, one of the waitress came and said in chinese "u're the table with the cake right?".. then the other waitress quickly nudged her and sx quickly said "no..". hahaha. then i quickly told emma i needed the loo and told the waitress that we had a cake for her but its a surprise! hahahhaha!!
so lunch went on and it was very fun. hahaha. dim sum was good. lotsa chitchats about stuff la. basically, no strict agenda or what. hahah. and haiya, our topics will definitely revolve around -er hem- one! hahaha!!
after that, me and sx went toilet and told the lady to bring the cake in ... while we were busy cam-whoring! hahaha. then, the lady brought plates and forks in despite us having nothing left to eat.. and emma also never suspected. then the lady brought the cake in and emma was surprised!!! [= so nice to see her smile so wide!!!! [= always a pleasure!
if u realise, the unique thing about this clique of mine is that, WE LOVE TO CAMWHORE IN THE TOILETTT! hahah!! [= hardly is there one outing where theres no toilet shots one! i still remembered us going to flutes at the fort where sx spilled the vase of water cus we wanted cam-whore in the toilet!aahhahah
so after that, went to school... and after that, met up with khng and chantel. went to get my eyebrows done. first time trying browhaus and the woman say, she wont recommend me using threading alone cus my eyebrows too thick already! LOL! so i went for threading and plucking. omg. really, u get what u pay. at paya lebar, i pay $6 per session and its only plucking. i tell u, if i wanted a perfect torture for my most-hated enemy, i'd put her in that seat in that salon, strap her to the seat and ask her to go through eye-brow plucking session under the hands of the china people. i tell u, its tear-inducing pain. esp when i dun trim often.. its even worse. but... at browhaus.. its like.. hardly hurts. just abit, but totally a-walk-in-the-park compared to the paya lebar one. but then, i paid $21 for the whole thing. most expensive pair of eyebrows in my life!
saturday slacked for half the day and went out with nancy goh. just chilled. and basically walked through the ENTIRE orchard road. im nt kidding. from ion, to paragon, to sommerset, to dhoby to find jon.. and then... we just hopped onto whichever bus that came and played by ear. and headed back to orchard cine and scape again.. and then back home. for abalone mee sua! awesome shiat. love the abalone! was a caaarraazzyyy day. was tired, then became alive, then tired, then alive, then super tired and then super alive. lol! naise.
as for today, just headed for lunch with family at redezvous. sad ar, the nasi padang place is shifting soon. i guess i'll miss it much. haha. then came home, changed bedsheets. after lunch, super sleepy. and had to change bedsheet in the cool climate. i couldnt resist but to sleep on the cool sheets. got caught by mum and nagged. lol! then went to bro's room to watch family guy together. then dozed off on his bed. with elmo. haha. then headed to eat prawn porridge. omfg. naise like mad. then came home and blogged. hahaha!
hahha. going off now. bye!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
A nice, solid blogpost to clear the bowels of my emotions
Finally, im going to ignore my tutorials and just blog the shit outta me. i've been thinking and thinking about.. alot of things. quick re-cap of my week,
tuesday went to watch "Despicable Me" with the usual. omg. the first reason i watched it, was because there was steve carrell in it! how can i not support Michael Scott?! hahaha!but then, OMFG. ITS REALLY DAMN CUTE AND HILARIOUS. I FUCKING DONT MIND WATCHING IT AGAIN. the minions, the children... will just make you smile. its going on the top of my list of "movies that makes me smile". hahahah! i seriously ... wanna get into that world of.. minions and high-pitched talking! haahhahaha!
wednesday, went to have buffet at heerens, called kiseki. the food's ok la, but alot of variety. but the waffles are AWESOME!!!!!! rushed to make adeline a "remember singapore" giftpack. i was making the "read this if u miss singapore" book. hahahhaha. took me a whole night, plus half the econs lecture, pasting the pictures into the book. hahaha! but i really enjoy scrapbooking. just that, it takes a lot of time and money. gahh. but oh well, all's good.
today, after school, we went to send adeline tan off to australia.. though i was joking and jesting... i felt pretty emotional especially when i saw her family members crying and hugging her and waving goodbye. now this is where im going to start my emotional blogpost. i even muted 987fm to blog properly. really, theres a fact that cannot be denied, as i grow older, the ability of me multitasking just goes downhill.
*****************************************
last night when i came home from kiseki. i just.. thought to myself... "wow. adeline's going to be sleeping in a different bed tomorrow night..."and i put myself in her shoes. i almost cried. though it wasn't even me who's flying off. but also, im about to embark on a journey where i am not sure of whats popping out when i turn the corner. i just feel that, wow.. a part of our class have left. yeah, although she'll be back in december, but the fact remains is... adeline going to australia just shows us the reality that people are moving on, whether i like it or not. willie's going to army at month end.. this also shows.. he's moving on. our class - DAC/3B/04, slowly branching out and into the lifes that no longer revolves around SP. our lives are slowly becoming less of a concern to people who used to be once upon a time. although i've clearly experienced this kinda things more than once in my life, with primary school and secondary school.. but its different for me now. i feel so.. attached to SP that its sad that im slowly becoming the few left hanging on dearly onto the happy life i once led. ever since i've entered SIM, i thought that i have managed to let go. but i still have that one pinky, holding onto the ledge on this.. cliff. but as i saw adeline leave just now, its like a needle popping that bubble of facade i've been holding on to. yes, shirley, time to get back on the ground. but i still wanna live in that bubble. the happy bubble. not this, real, mortifying ground. but just carry on floating in that bubble. where.. i had the ocassional crush.. where because i had friends i knew i could rely on, i wasn't afraid of taking risks. where, there were times i was alone, but i never felt lonely. when the sun sets, reality will set in and we need to move on...
fuck growing up.
fuck adulthood.
fuck having to take responsibilities.
fuck having to feel guilty for having fun.
fuck for smiling because i dont want people around me to frown.
fuck for not being able to be real because society hates people who are real.
fuck for wanting to be real but just cannot.
and fuck for always having dreams that seem impossible to fulfill judging by how many people will be implicated because of my actions.
fuck having to see people living my dream while i can only sit here and wish.
fuck people who thinks im lazy/coward because i just made the above comment.
fuck people who don't understand the complications involved.
fuck life for being complicated.
or in other words,
fuck me for having no balls and too much conscience.
another thought while i saw adeline walking through and into the departure hall, despite the tears and sadness (btw, i thought adeline was very very brave for not crying and breaking down. because, if it was me, i wouldnt allow ppl to send me off. because i know that if they do, i will change my mind about leaving)... the only thought in my head was "how i wished i was there, in her shoes" right now, especially after the holidays, u have no idea how much i would want to start my life on a clean slate. develope a brand new identity. choose the character i wanna be again. go to a land where no one knows me. and be a new person. i even said out loud, "look at adeline, starting a new life ahead.. and me? im stuck in SIM." i could imagine my feelings. though i would be emotional, but thinking of waking up to a brand new place, with a brand new life i can create .. is just soo... blood-rushingly exciting! its so.. "i wanna make my life worthwhile" mentality. plus, australia IS the land of hawt guys in board shorts and cute smiles. also the land of hot bikini babes. imagine the dudes adeline's gonna meet! hahahah! i would like to try to lead my own life by my rules (without parental guidance) and see how far i can go! i wanna be my own parent! how i crave for that day!
ok.. moving on to the next topic. that day, i was listening to desiree lai.. and there was this girl who called in saying she's really sad cus she lost a friend. turns out, she became gf/bf with her best friend, and they broke up and now, they can't be together. well, i've decided to never ever tell winnie how i feel. i cannot afford to lose this friendship. i'd rather be single lor. i'd rather see him get a better girl anyway. unless circumstances change, but highly likely, i will never confess. i'll prolly rant to the usual people, but other than that, nope.. no chance.
well, let's just say that another friend has bit the dust of singletondom! less and less people on the shelf. and im clearly the can of soup placed right at the back of the shelf, so unless someone makes an effort to climb the ladder, stretch in and get me, if not, i'll be on that shelf forever in that same spot, and always being placed behind newer and fresher cans of soup until i expire. and then, i'd be discarded into a dustbin and be recycled to be the wall of some house. not complaining.. just observing.
and i need to scold myself for one of the above posts - how can i complain that "i'm only in SIM" when so many other children out there don't have a chance for education. shame on me.
im just having alot alot alot of thoughts. haha.. its drowning me alot. hahaha. guess i'd better treasure my frienships before they also bite the dust.
a quote i came up with and am proud of:
"there are many times in life when we don't need to be at an airport or a funeral to know that the people around us have already left our lives. "
ciao.
p/s: omg! tingfang getting all hyped up for SIM's summer school programme (Cus she recently found out they have programmes in korea) is getting me eggcited about me being able to go holland (and wear oranje/blow vuvuzuela) or London (maybe can meet Sam, my very old online friend from london. he's not old. our friendship is. met him frm sec school and we're still in touch!). yay! hope it will come true cus most likely not travelling outta the country this year. o.o its a draught for me. ]:
tuesday went to watch "Despicable Me" with the usual. omg. the first reason i watched it, was because there was steve carrell in it! how can i not support Michael Scott?! hahaha!but then, OMFG. ITS REALLY DAMN CUTE AND HILARIOUS. I FUCKING DONT MIND WATCHING IT AGAIN. the minions, the children... will just make you smile. its going on the top of my list of "movies that makes me smile". hahahah! i seriously ... wanna get into that world of.. minions and high-pitched talking! haahhahaha!
wednesday, went to have buffet at heerens, called kiseki. the food's ok la, but alot of variety. but the waffles are AWESOME!!!!!! rushed to make adeline a "remember singapore" giftpack. i was making the "read this if u miss singapore" book. hahahhaha. took me a whole night, plus half the econs lecture, pasting the pictures into the book. hahaha! but i really enjoy scrapbooking. just that, it takes a lot of time and money. gahh. but oh well, all's good.
today, after school, we went to send adeline tan off to australia.. though i was joking and jesting... i felt pretty emotional especially when i saw her family members crying and hugging her and waving goodbye. now this is where im going to start my emotional blogpost. i even muted 987fm to blog properly. really, theres a fact that cannot be denied, as i grow older, the ability of me multitasking just goes downhill.
*****************************************
last night when i came home from kiseki. i just.. thought to myself... "wow. adeline's going to be sleeping in a different bed tomorrow night..."and i put myself in her shoes. i almost cried. though it wasn't even me who's flying off. but also, im about to embark on a journey where i am not sure of whats popping out when i turn the corner. i just feel that, wow.. a part of our class have left. yeah, although she'll be back in december, but the fact remains is... adeline going to australia just shows us the reality that people are moving on, whether i like it or not. willie's going to army at month end.. this also shows.. he's moving on. our class - DAC/3B/04, slowly branching out and into the lifes that no longer revolves around SP. our lives are slowly becoming less of a concern to people who used to be once upon a time. although i've clearly experienced this kinda things more than once in my life, with primary school and secondary school.. but its different for me now. i feel so.. attached to SP that its sad that im slowly becoming the few left hanging on dearly onto the happy life i once led. ever since i've entered SIM, i thought that i have managed to let go. but i still have that one pinky, holding onto the ledge on this.. cliff. but as i saw adeline leave just now, its like a needle popping that bubble of facade i've been holding on to. yes, shirley, time to get back on the ground. but i still wanna live in that bubble. the happy bubble. not this, real, mortifying ground. but just carry on floating in that bubble. where.. i had the ocassional crush.. where because i had friends i knew i could rely on, i wasn't afraid of taking risks. where, there were times i was alone, but i never felt lonely. when the sun sets, reality will set in and we need to move on...
fuck growing up.
fuck adulthood.
fuck having to take responsibilities.
fuck having to feel guilty for having fun.
fuck for smiling because i dont want people around me to frown.
fuck for not being able to be real because society hates people who are real.
fuck for wanting to be real but just cannot.
and fuck for always having dreams that seem impossible to fulfill judging by how many people will be implicated because of my actions.
fuck having to see people living my dream while i can only sit here and wish.
fuck people who thinks im lazy/coward because i just made the above comment.
fuck people who don't understand the complications involved.
fuck life for being complicated.
or in other words,
fuck me for having no balls and too much conscience.
another thought while i saw adeline walking through and into the departure hall, despite the tears and sadness (btw, i thought adeline was very very brave for not crying and breaking down. because, if it was me, i wouldnt allow ppl to send me off. because i know that if they do, i will change my mind about leaving)... the only thought in my head was "how i wished i was there, in her shoes" right now, especially after the holidays, u have no idea how much i would want to start my life on a clean slate. develope a brand new identity. choose the character i wanna be again. go to a land where no one knows me. and be a new person. i even said out loud, "look at adeline, starting a new life ahead.. and me? im stuck in SIM." i could imagine my feelings. though i would be emotional, but thinking of waking up to a brand new place, with a brand new life i can create .. is just soo... blood-rushingly exciting! its so.. "i wanna make my life worthwhile" mentality. plus, australia IS the land of hawt guys in board shorts and cute smiles. also the land of hot bikini babes. imagine the dudes adeline's gonna meet! hahahah! i would like to try to lead my own life by my rules (without parental guidance) and see how far i can go! i wanna be my own parent! how i crave for that day!
ok.. moving on to the next topic. that day, i was listening to desiree lai.. and there was this girl who called in saying she's really sad cus she lost a friend. turns out, she became gf/bf with her best friend, and they broke up and now, they can't be together. well, i've decided to never ever tell winnie how i feel. i cannot afford to lose this friendship. i'd rather be single lor. i'd rather see him get a better girl anyway. unless circumstances change, but highly likely, i will never confess. i'll prolly rant to the usual people, but other than that, nope.. no chance.
well, let's just say that another friend has bit the dust of singletondom! less and less people on the shelf. and im clearly the can of soup placed right at the back of the shelf, so unless someone makes an effort to climb the ladder, stretch in and get me, if not, i'll be on that shelf forever in that same spot, and always being placed behind newer and fresher cans of soup until i expire. and then, i'd be discarded into a dustbin and be recycled to be the wall of some house. not complaining.. just observing.
and i need to scold myself for one of the above posts - how can i complain that "i'm only in SIM" when so many other children out there don't have a chance for education. shame on me.
im just having alot alot alot of thoughts. haha.. its drowning me alot. hahaha. guess i'd better treasure my frienships before they also bite the dust.
a quote i came up with and am proud of:
"there are many times in life when we don't need to be at an airport or a funeral to know that the people around us have already left our lives. "
ciao.
p/s: omg! tingfang getting all hyped up for SIM's summer school programme (Cus she recently found out they have programmes in korea) is getting me eggcited about me being able to go holland (and wear oranje/blow vuvuzuela) or London (maybe can meet Sam, my very old online friend from london. he's not old. our friendship is. met him frm sec school and we're still in touch!). yay! hope it will come true cus most likely not travelling outta the country this year. o.o its a draught for me. ]:
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
sorrry -dusts cobwebs-
lol! I've been enjoying life now that i havent had time to blog. Have gt loads of updates and thoughts.. But like last night, i was making adeline tan's farewell gift.. ya. Plus i've been slacking abit.. And i need to start picking up my slack. Yup. Sorry la, bertsie. Hahahah. And sry to those i ignored on msn last night. Was too engrossed drawing some singapore attractions. very cui. But oh well. :( its the thoughts that counts ar. Hahaha. Okie. Gonna eat jap buffet. Oh fuck my fats. :D
Note to self: room is in a fucking huge mess. Like.. Rlly one of the worst ever. Bettter do sth abt it before mumsy nags.
Ciao!
Note to self: room is in a fucking huge mess. Like.. Rlly one of the worst ever. Bettter do sth abt it before mumsy nags.
Ciao!
Monday, July 12, 2010
first soccer match ever
last night i caught the first soccer match (or football match, as jon's friend was telling me) ever in my life. not first like, really first, but the first i willingly sit on the couch and watch through 90 minutes.. or rather, 120 minutes? LOL! i actually turned the tv off after he too his shirt off, cus i thought channel 5 didnt show the celebrations leh! ]: walao! sian. oh well. at least, now i have a new hero:
Casillas!!! he's like the unsung hero lor! although iniesta scored, but he's really the one keeping the score at 0-0!yay!! but i really love the feeling when i was watching last night's match. kept me on tenderhooks!!!
i wasnt sleepy today though. but fuck, i keep eating alot. ]: really just had alot of cravings. time to jian fei again. but going to eat jap buffet on wed x: FUCK LA! die liao! lol. mom wants me to sleep at 11pm. lol! i wanna watch soccer again! sooooon! omg! q addictive leh. of course, i can do without the betting. betted for spain to win within 90 mins. shud have learnt frm jon, bet for them to hold the cup! x= fuck. oh well. nights!
Casillas!!! he's like the unsung hero lor! although iniesta scored, but he's really the one keeping the score at 0-0!yay!! but i really love the feeling when i was watching last night's match. kept me on tenderhooks!!!i wasnt sleepy today though. but fuck, i keep eating alot. ]: really just had alot of cravings. time to jian fei again. but going to eat jap buffet on wed x: FUCK LA! die liao! lol. mom wants me to sleep at 11pm. lol! i wanna watch soccer again! sooooon! omg! q addictive leh. of course, i can do without the betting. betted for spain to win within 90 mins. shud have learnt frm jon, bet for them to hold the cup! x= fuck. oh well. nights!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
moment of a lifetime
im blogging while watching the most eggciting football match ever! im soooo hyped up about it!!!! omg!!! GO SPAIN!!!! first time sitting through a football match on my own will! now, thats a change! hahaha. shall blog tmrs!
anyway i deserve to watch the match, cus i studied hard today! yay!
anyway i deserve to watch the match, cus i studied hard today! yay!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
random rant:
HOW?? how do people overlook each other's flaws and be together forever? how??? i mean, there will definitely be little bits of flaws that rlly... can't be overlooked. but how do ppl compromise to the extent that they ignore these?? random thought..
WHYYY?
why have i been pondering so much about relationship stuff? haiz! i really should put a stop to it. had a really quite relaxing saturday afternoon with chantel. spent a lot of money x= but did some revision. not very very effecient though. but was enjoyable. nothing much to worry about ... just eating potato salad.. cheesecakes.. then after that, we just walked around. looked at shoes. gosh. shoes~ then just went carefour and i bought 3 boxes of sushi. i was fucking hungry!!! and i have cravings for sushi lor. then when i came home, i just ate sushi, spammed orange juice .... fuck the calories la. tmr then worry! i was sooo fuulll. i guess, this is how a single woman's life is ar. alone at home watching tv.. with 3 boxes of cold sushi and a cup of orange juice.. laughing at the silliest things. guess i'll just need to get used to this kinda life eh. oh well! muggathon again tmr! at airport. wished i didnt have sore throat!!! so i can eat popeyes larrrr. oh fuck. i feel like eating more sushi.
Friday, July 9, 2010
just a random post: i miss being sweet talked to.
Currently, i've got no problems in r/s.. Since i dun even have one. But i'm helping solve a few probs now. And i realise.. There can also be too much of a problem when a guy loves a girl too much. X: can be as bad as not enough love.
Reminds me of the spice girls song 'too much'. Really makes sense. I rlly hope i can help them.
Currently, i've got no problems in r/s.. Since i dun even have one. But i'm helping solve a few probs now. And i realise.. There can also be too much of a problem when a guy loves a girl too much. X: can be as bad as not enough love.
Reminds me of the spice girls song 'too much'. Really makes sense. I rlly hope i can help them.
NERD!
i really cannot believe how nerd i can get when it comes to maths! its like, in lecture today, i just kept doing and doing. the lecturer was at like point number 1.. and im already reading point number 3 and doing the tutorials. its like, maths make me mad! really siao. i just get sooo absorbed into doing maths that i CAN'T STOP! i'll only stop when i've fully satisfied my appetite to do them!!!! even when i get careless mistakes, i just do and do and do! LOL! its really CCRRRAAZZZYYY! lol! like really damn fucking nerd can. zomgggg.
NERDDDDDDDDD! but acting cute. i better act cute while i can sia. before i "expire"..
and regarding the previous post, i'd prolly totally ignore that whole post if i do find a bf! hahahahha! anyway, good part about being single can be applied to just now. just now after dinner, we were walking past this.. germany toyshop. and the shopkeeper, a q handsome angmoh.. he eye-to-eyed with my for about.. 10 seconds and smiled. i just smiled back. hoohoo! see? i think i'll miss these kinda small flirts when i get married and have children. i mean, girls always complain, "omg that guy so gross. ask for my number sia" LOL! i always think that they secretly think its a compliment lor. i tell u. wait for the day when no one gets their numbers and they'll start flocking their way to platic surgeries already! ahhahaa so anyways, someone was telling me about her boy problem! zomggggg! really leh. very very very frustrating just listening to her tell me. i dont blame the guy. but .. he's sooo controlling. and i just feel suffocated listening to her!! gahh. i didnt know how to help, so all i could do was just to.. listen lor. hoped it helped.
and ohhhh yessss. im so betting on SPAIN! [: that octopus said so. aiya. 4 years once. just try lo. hahaha. no harm.
and im officially sick. so i went to the doctor's before meeting morgan. then at dinner i just showed my mum the receipt. hahaha. usually she'll nag and nag about me not taking care of myself. so this time, i simply go and see the doctor! hoo! ok la. thats all. nights. mugging weekend!ciao, xoxo!
NERDDDDDDDDD! but acting cute. i better act cute while i can sia. before i "expire"..and regarding the previous post, i'd prolly totally ignore that whole post if i do find a bf! hahahahha! anyway, good part about being single can be applied to just now. just now after dinner, we were walking past this.. germany toyshop. and the shopkeeper, a q handsome angmoh.. he eye-to-eyed with my for about.. 10 seconds and smiled. i just smiled back. hoohoo! see? i think i'll miss these kinda small flirts when i get married and have children. i mean, girls always complain, "omg that guy so gross. ask for my number sia" LOL! i always think that they secretly think its a compliment lor. i tell u. wait for the day when no one gets their numbers and they'll start flocking their way to platic surgeries already! ahhahaa so anyways, someone was telling me about her boy problem! zomggggg! really leh. very very very frustrating just listening to her tell me. i dont blame the guy. but .. he's sooo controlling. and i just feel suffocated listening to her!! gahh. i didnt know how to help, so all i could do was just to.. listen lor. hoped it helped.
and ohhhh yessss. im so betting on SPAIN! [: that octopus said so. aiya. 4 years once. just try lo. hahaha. no harm.
and im officially sick. so i went to the doctor's before meeting morgan. then at dinner i just showed my mum the receipt. hahaha. usually she'll nag and nag about me not taking care of myself. so this time, i simply go and see the doctor! hoo! ok la. thats all. nights. mugging weekend!ciao, xoxo!
please don't kill paul!
the other reason i watch world cup is because there's paul! Hahha. Sigh. After he has given people lotsa fortune, we kill him just because he's too good!! Wth. i mean, the octopus didnt ask for the 2 boxes to be placed in front of him right? Since its there, he just happened to pick the correct box. Can't blame him! Gahhh. We're really selfish and arrogant. He's also a life too right? Oh well.
Hows life, you ask me? Well. This week's been pretty colourful! Lotsa meeetups with different friends. Makes me feel that my presence on this planet has some sort of use. Instead of just being a parasite. I guess, i like being made used of. Hahaha. Nt in the bad way la.. But i rlly like it when ppl ask me for advice. Not just on studies, but in life too? Or love. Though i may not have much experience myself, but i do have a lot of experience with my friends. And i can.. Try to help. If nt, im rlly a good listener. :) i dont mind being ur cushion. So ya. Ppl who see this, just find me lor. If u need a listening ear. Theres no such thing as too stupid or too small. Alot of problems begin small, plus.. Now that im single and not v sociable.. I've got quite a lot of spare time in my hands. :)
Sigh. Gonna send ade tan off nxt week. To aussie. This is another reality check that ppl have rlly moved on. I mean, alot of time, when someone passes away.. It'll be sad initially. But u wont feel the impact untiil u have to live life without his/her presence anymore. Thats sadder than even knowing about e fact that he's gone. Its living the fact that hurts. Yaa. Sigh. August will come and everyone will start school. Just hope that i wont be some lame ass who becomes so social life-deprived that i will turn into an introvert. For me, keeping my mouth shut is gonna be one huge torture. Of course, being a natural introvert.. Its not hard for me to keep my mouth shut if i feel inferior.
I guess, i've slowly grew to the fact that in life, there'll be moments when its so quiet, a small ripple would cause a huge wave for me. And then there will be the busy moments where i have so much to do that i didnt even notice that australia had a change in prime minister. :( fuck my general knowledge. Need to brush up.
And after the whole nerdy guy saga, i've decided. I'm not gonna do the chasing when it comes to love anymore. Sigh. Anyways, i think no one will want me even i presented myself on a silver platter... So.. well.. I'll just.. Wait lor. Ahahhaha. Cus right, i was giving someone love advice earlier.. And i just cant rlly see myself following my own advice. Maybe, i just want a few close friends, like now. Thats alright for me. Hahaha! Its like what the horseshoe said 'some women Are not meant to be tamed. They just wait for someone just as wild to run along with them' earlier on, was talking to family and we talked about aunty agnes. Nt sure if she still reads my blog. But anyway.. Im so proud of her! She got retrenched earlier frm the crisis.. So she took a holiday and travelled across australia on her own! Woooooo. I'd love to travel alone. Nt all the time of course! But imagine the things u can see .. I mean, u can go and see things u rlly wanna see! Eg. Male strip club! Hahahahaha. If i were w my husband or bf, cannot wad. Hahaha. And who knows whom i'll meet while travelling right??? It'll be like those chick lits.. Where ppl fall in love in tahiti! :) plus, im rlly so used to oogling at handsome strangers in public places. Esp when i see my type.. Abit macho with nerd specs, but clearly not nerds kinda guys. I remembered when i was with sly, i actually tried to ignore so many hawties. teeheehee. Plus when i club, i do dance with strangers. Im not being a hooker.. But handsome strangers are mysterious. Of course, as i grow older, the more i hope to establish my own family and become a slave to my husband and children. Its sad, considering how carefree i naturally am. But i just cant help but hope to be tied down to a family. I tell u though. Its in every girl's blood to wanna get married. I'm serious. There rlly isnt any girl who doesnt wanna get married even if they die also wont admit. Like me la. Who wants to be alone forever and die alone in apartment without anyone realising? But thing is, u might be married and have kids and STILL die alone in apartment without anyone noticing. But getting married is a risk alot of women will wanna take. But i guess, if i cant get married to the right guy, of course he doesnt have to be perfect, but has to fulfil majority of the criteria i do have in mind, i might as well be married to the idea of travelling the world. :) at least, i might die in a terrorist attack and not boringly in an apartment. Yup. I'll hope that the right guy comes along lor.. Cus life is rlly sian if everyone in my inner social circle gets attached and im still single.. hahha.
Hahaha. Of course, every coin has 2 sides.
having someone in your life means that when u're down.. U have a shoulder to lean on and life wont feel so bad. And when u're happy, it becomes happier when someone feels happy that u're happy. When u fail, they cushion ur crush and when u suceed, it tastes sweeter because someone is there to be proud of u as if its their own sucess but then, jealousy is something like the black spiderman suit shown in spiderman3. It covers up ur genuinely nice and openminded personality and turns u into a monster no one can recognise. U become distraught, lost, sad, angry for the slightest things. And also, it takes alot of effort to make a good relationship. And thing is, what if its all not meant to be at the end of the day? Both parties will just be tired and frustrated and u cant find ur old self anymore, the old self before all these fairytale happened.
Being single is fun too. We decide things for ourselves. We dont need to worry about hurting the other party for any decisions we make. We have the freedom of flirting with anyone and anywhere. So what if we will be judged? Hahah. We wont be jealous.. and we'll be used to being alone, its ok with or without a guy. Life goes on. We dont need to make umpteen number of unnecessary phone calls to make sure that our beloved isnt flirting around. We wont have to give in or compromise our true selfs for them.i know alot of ppl say, when they're in a r/s, they're still themselves and being true to themselves. Really? I doubt. There will definitely be changes to ur tastes and stuff unconsciously that u aren't aware of. And u wont be able to thoroughly live life the way u want it to be. And life becomes soooooo revolved around that one person, there is alot to lose if u miss a step. Whereas being single, we aint got nothing to lose. although u might say love makes it all worth it, but really? Ppl become anxious and panicky when they think they're gonna lose it! But idk. I just.. Hate the feeling of losing something. And since everyone is allocated the same number of hours in a day, u'll definitely lose touch of ur friends, or some.. Because.. Someone is occupying ur time. I mean, some ppl say its a bliss... But... As for me, friends are so fucking impt, i cant imagine losing them without knowing.of course, being single can suck too. Esp on valentines day and similar ocassions because u'd be home watching re-runs of titanic when the whole world is in love. Its nice to go out w friends but sucks when everything on the menu is meant for a 2-persons. And u'll definitely feel alone even with the biggest bunch of e closest single friends! What about when ur friends start getting attached.. And u're always the third wheel. Gosh, how can i not knw how a third wheel feel??? I have played that part so often, i got numb to it. U feel like u shud jolly well disappear frm the surface of this planet.. Instead of being the reason for the awkwardness around. And seeing the couple being lovey-dovey, though u might feel like puking and fainting, u cant deny the tinge of envy. And also, at night, when all ur friends are busy, u wished u had someone u can turn to to just chat.. and what about.. Missing the feeling of being cherished. Or being the centre of someone's world? Now thats quite a torture. And the worse thing about being single?? U look around, and u think hes the perfect one. And then, hes attached too.. And yeah. Its like.. So unstable. Life is so unstable.
Hahahaha. Ohmygooshhh. Im so bored.. Till i can type this kinda shit. Hahaha. No offence to anyone leh. Im rlly just blogging abt my opinion. But im so used to being single..i just become numb to the cons of being single. Of course, i'll wanna push my luck and try it out if someone right comes along. Hahahah. My youth is running out and i sometimes really wonder if it will even be possible nt.
I rlly rlly cant picture myself being in the centre of someone's world. Im too... Inferior. Look around and theres so many good-looking, good personality girls around. And girls who have less bullshit than me. I've got too much shit in me alr. and i rlly dont know how to be that sweet girl to the guy i love. Even to nerdy guy, i was all brotherly and stuff. Sigh. but at e same time, i cant imagine giving up any part of my social life for any guys. And i also cant imagine nt being jealous. I'll confirm feel inferior and jealous. Oh gosh. Hence my conclusion: just wait and see. Hahha! Thats all. Fingers are tired. Ciao. All the best to everyone!
Hows life, you ask me? Well. This week's been pretty colourful! Lotsa meeetups with different friends. Makes me feel that my presence on this planet has some sort of use. Instead of just being a parasite. I guess, i like being made used of. Hahaha. Nt in the bad way la.. But i rlly like it when ppl ask me for advice. Not just on studies, but in life too? Or love. Though i may not have much experience myself, but i do have a lot of experience with my friends. And i can.. Try to help. If nt, im rlly a good listener. :) i dont mind being ur cushion. So ya. Ppl who see this, just find me lor. If u need a listening ear. Theres no such thing as too stupid or too small. Alot of problems begin small, plus.. Now that im single and not v sociable.. I've got quite a lot of spare time in my hands. :)
Sigh. Gonna send ade tan off nxt week. To aussie. This is another reality check that ppl have rlly moved on. I mean, alot of time, when someone passes away.. It'll be sad initially. But u wont feel the impact untiil u have to live life without his/her presence anymore. Thats sadder than even knowing about e fact that he's gone. Its living the fact that hurts. Yaa. Sigh. August will come and everyone will start school. Just hope that i wont be some lame ass who becomes so social life-deprived that i will turn into an introvert. For me, keeping my mouth shut is gonna be one huge torture. Of course, being a natural introvert.. Its not hard for me to keep my mouth shut if i feel inferior.
I guess, i've slowly grew to the fact that in life, there'll be moments when its so quiet, a small ripple would cause a huge wave for me. And then there will be the busy moments where i have so much to do that i didnt even notice that australia had a change in prime minister. :( fuck my general knowledge. Need to brush up.
And after the whole nerdy guy saga, i've decided. I'm not gonna do the chasing when it comes to love anymore. Sigh. Anyways, i think no one will want me even i presented myself on a silver platter... So.. well.. I'll just.. Wait lor. Ahahhaha. Cus right, i was giving someone love advice earlier.. And i just cant rlly see myself following my own advice. Maybe, i just want a few close friends, like now. Thats alright for me. Hahaha! Its like what the horseshoe said 'some women Are not meant to be tamed. They just wait for someone just as wild to run along with them' earlier on, was talking to family and we talked about aunty agnes. Nt sure if she still reads my blog. But anyway.. Im so proud of her! She got retrenched earlier frm the crisis.. So she took a holiday and travelled across australia on her own! Woooooo. I'd love to travel alone. Nt all the time of course! But imagine the things u can see .. I mean, u can go and see things u rlly wanna see! Eg. Male strip club! Hahahahaha. If i were w my husband or bf, cannot wad. Hahaha. And who knows whom i'll meet while travelling right??? It'll be like those chick lits.. Where ppl fall in love in tahiti! :) plus, im rlly so used to oogling at handsome strangers in public places. Esp when i see my type.. Abit macho with nerd specs, but clearly not nerds kinda guys. I remembered when i was with sly, i actually tried to ignore so many hawties. teeheehee. Plus when i club, i do dance with strangers. Im not being a hooker.. But handsome strangers are mysterious. Of course, as i grow older, the more i hope to establish my own family and become a slave to my husband and children. Its sad, considering how carefree i naturally am. But i just cant help but hope to be tied down to a family. I tell u though. Its in every girl's blood to wanna get married. I'm serious. There rlly isnt any girl who doesnt wanna get married even if they die also wont admit. Like me la. Who wants to be alone forever and die alone in apartment without anyone realising? But thing is, u might be married and have kids and STILL die alone in apartment without anyone noticing. But getting married is a risk alot of women will wanna take. But i guess, if i cant get married to the right guy, of course he doesnt have to be perfect, but has to fulfil majority of the criteria i do have in mind, i might as well be married to the idea of travelling the world. :) at least, i might die in a terrorist attack and not boringly in an apartment. Yup. I'll hope that the right guy comes along lor.. Cus life is rlly sian if everyone in my inner social circle gets attached and im still single.. hahha.
Hahaha. Of course, every coin has 2 sides.
having someone in your life means that when u're down.. U have a shoulder to lean on and life wont feel so bad. And when u're happy, it becomes happier when someone feels happy that u're happy. When u fail, they cushion ur crush and when u suceed, it tastes sweeter because someone is there to be proud of u as if its their own sucess but then, jealousy is something like the black spiderman suit shown in spiderman3. It covers up ur genuinely nice and openminded personality and turns u into a monster no one can recognise. U become distraught, lost, sad, angry for the slightest things. And also, it takes alot of effort to make a good relationship. And thing is, what if its all not meant to be at the end of the day? Both parties will just be tired and frustrated and u cant find ur old self anymore, the old self before all these fairytale happened.
Being single is fun too. We decide things for ourselves. We dont need to worry about hurting the other party for any decisions we make. We have the freedom of flirting with anyone and anywhere. So what if we will be judged? Hahah. We wont be jealous.. and we'll be used to being alone, its ok with or without a guy. Life goes on. We dont need to make umpteen number of unnecessary phone calls to make sure that our beloved isnt flirting around. We wont have to give in or compromise our true selfs for them.i know alot of ppl say, when they're in a r/s, they're still themselves and being true to themselves. Really? I doubt. There will definitely be changes to ur tastes and stuff unconsciously that u aren't aware of. And u wont be able to thoroughly live life the way u want it to be. And life becomes soooooo revolved around that one person, there is alot to lose if u miss a step. Whereas being single, we aint got nothing to lose. although u might say love makes it all worth it, but really? Ppl become anxious and panicky when they think they're gonna lose it! But idk. I just.. Hate the feeling of losing something. And since everyone is allocated the same number of hours in a day, u'll definitely lose touch of ur friends, or some.. Because.. Someone is occupying ur time. I mean, some ppl say its a bliss... But... As for me, friends are so fucking impt, i cant imagine losing them without knowing.of course, being single can suck too. Esp on valentines day and similar ocassions because u'd be home watching re-runs of titanic when the whole world is in love. Its nice to go out w friends but sucks when everything on the menu is meant for a 2-persons. And u'll definitely feel alone even with the biggest bunch of e closest single friends! What about when ur friends start getting attached.. And u're always the third wheel. Gosh, how can i not knw how a third wheel feel??? I have played that part so often, i got numb to it. U feel like u shud jolly well disappear frm the surface of this planet.. Instead of being the reason for the awkwardness around. And seeing the couple being lovey-dovey, though u might feel like puking and fainting, u cant deny the tinge of envy. And also, at night, when all ur friends are busy, u wished u had someone u can turn to to just chat.. and what about.. Missing the feeling of being cherished. Or being the centre of someone's world? Now thats quite a torture. And the worse thing about being single?? U look around, and u think hes the perfect one. And then, hes attached too.. And yeah. Its like.. So unstable. Life is so unstable.
Hahahaha. Ohmygooshhh. Im so bored.. Till i can type this kinda shit. Hahaha. No offence to anyone leh. Im rlly just blogging abt my opinion. But im so used to being single..i just become numb to the cons of being single. Of course, i'll wanna push my luck and try it out if someone right comes along. Hahahah. My youth is running out and i sometimes really wonder if it will even be possible nt.
I rlly rlly cant picture myself being in the centre of someone's world. Im too... Inferior. Look around and theres so many good-looking, good personality girls around. And girls who have less bullshit than me. I've got too much shit in me alr. and i rlly dont know how to be that sweet girl to the guy i love. Even to nerdy guy, i was all brotherly and stuff. Sigh. but at e same time, i cant imagine giving up any part of my social life for any guys. And i also cant imagine nt being jealous. I'll confirm feel inferior and jealous. Oh gosh. Hence my conclusion: just wait and see. Hahha! Thats all. Fingers are tired. Ciao. All the best to everyone!
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