Well, the thing is, i've realised that.. at first, when i still couldnt move on, people were still pretty empathetic and still gave me the listening ear and well, it was something thats alright. but its been months! and im still not able to move on. honestly, im tired of hearing myself whine about this. i feel horribly vulnerable and weak. honestly. even if my friends are being patient with me, im sick of it. and plus, thing is, i hate being so wishy-washy. gahh! ok. im gonna snap out of it. for fucks sake, im 20!
well, okay. so someone on SP brought this up: Cut your c.a.r.b.s (Computer Addiction Related Break Syndrome). well, i'm gonna take up his challenge and go without my internet for the weekend. so.. yup. well, its a little cheating because im like gone tomorrow and saturday would be getting rid of hangover. sat night might be meeting up with friends for dinner. idk. lol. sunday being family day.. well, yup. so. yeah. im fucking sick of the internet anyway. its like, my world revolves around it. i've stopped being in touch with my physical life. godammnit. ok. after i shut this laptop down, im going cold turkey. anyway, no one will notice my disappearance la. yup. i think, even if i disappeared physcially, no one would notice. oh well. life change. people change.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
WEE~ clubbing tomorrow!
yes! its more or less confirmed that im fuckin clubbing tmr! :D it sure is a relief! well, i better chiong my pbf tutorial tonight so i can club in peace. well, not a big crowd tmr night (phew!) im quite tired of planning big friends gathering already. i dont know, just dont have the mood to. like, feeling pretty lanlan. its like, sometimes when i plan these, i feel like im forcing people to come... hmm, although i really reap alot of satisfaction seeing their smiles! haha!
well, glad that the army boys of my life are back for the weekend! and i can't wait to spend time with the bunch of them. :) well, lets hope that tmr's clubbing binge drinking would hit the reset button of my life! i want my passion back! like when lois presses the lighted ciggy onto her arm. well, i guess i can feel how she feels. luckily, im not feeling THAT depressed to want to put the cigarette in my mouth. although i've thought of it since that day. not constantly, but when im really sian, it does occur. well, its only human, right?
omg. how come everytime i blog, i seem to have writer's block! its like, i really have alot going through my head when im in the shower but when i see u, i get stuck. ahha. sorry! -pats blog- i feel like converting into a diary. hmm, but i doubt i'll sustain though..
so anyway, soulpancake question for you:
HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY! (no matter how old you are). So, heres my qn: How and how often do you embrace your inner child?
1 RESPONSE | submitted by Pillybaxto around 11 minutes ago
You have 18 minutes and 55 seconds left to edit this submission Edit
Fyi, its 1st October here in singapore and its Children's day here. im not sure if its an international thing. well, i like to watch looney tunes from time to time (prefably road runner) and i enjoy reading my archie comics when i can't get to sleep. i still keep my Roald Dahl books in a special bag so when i feel low, i'd take them out to read and be lost in his crazy world. How do your embrace your inner child? do u do it often? and if you don't, why?
well, glad that the army boys of my life are back for the weekend! and i can't wait to spend time with the bunch of them. :) well, lets hope that tmr's clubbing
omg. how come everytime i blog, i seem to have writer's block! its like, i really have alot going through my head when im in the shower but when i see u, i get stuck. ahha. sorry! -pats blog- i feel like converting into a diary. hmm, but i doubt i'll sustain though..
so anyway, soulpancake question for you:
HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY! (no matter how old you are). So, heres my qn: How and how often do you embrace your inner child?
1 RESPONSE | submitted by Pillybaxto around 11 minutes ago
You have 18 minutes and 55 seconds left to edit this submission Edit
Fyi, its 1st October here in singapore and its Children's day here. im not sure if its an international thing. well, i like to watch looney tunes from time to time (prefably road runner) and i enjoy reading my archie comics when i can't get to sleep. i still keep my Roald Dahl books in a special bag so when i feel low, i'd take them out to read and be lost in his crazy world. How do your embrace your inner child? do u do it often? and if you don't, why?
Life is a standstill.
i know im living in a world where im supposed to treasure what i have and stop complaining because i have good infrastructure around me and lotsa free time and nothing much to worry about.. but just let me have my pie and eat it too for today, ok?
life is a standstill now. im leading a life even more stagnant than the water at the bottom of my flower vase (just kidding, NEA!) but yeah, u get it. its 2 weeks into school now. when i'm in school with people, i become me. the joking, chatty, alright girl. but then, its the rest days that makes life at a standstill. i know im supposed to use the free time to study, do my homework, rest, exercise.. make my life better. but thing is, i dont know how to get started. im still pretty much stuck in poly mode still. time passes soooo fucking slowly. i have no drive to do anything. not even blogging. all i do is watch family guy, watch movies, watch brother bear, watch shrek, watch diary of a wimpy kid.. go to school.. wait for people to msg. wait for someone to talk to me on fb. wait for things to happen. whatever happened to my life? omg. i admit, im pretty much of a wreck. i just can't seem to get anything straightened out. omg, for goodness sake! i was an editor of the yearbook! gosh.
every week, i tell myself. ok, this is the last week to get wasted. time to pull your socks next week and start it out. and then it lapse back into this lazy-person mould. so lazy. so unmotivated. so useless. my brain feels like, its been kept in the attic under dusts and cobwebs. and now, its pretty hard to get the engine moving. omg.
im at this point of life where i wished for. having off days in a school week. starting uni. made a couple of friends. omg. fuck. other than that, i have nothing going on! i havent felt so free for so long. in poly, there were periods of weeks or months where i didnt even eat dinner with my family for 2 weeks in a row! i've had days where work (proper work, like editting.. not schoolwork) piled up so high, i felt so good and useful and efficient and i just wanted to work. and omg. i sound like a 60 year old who just retired. im just about to begin life. is this how im going about it?! gahhh.
i wanna put my life back where i had control over it. and not the other way round! sigh. do i really wanna lead my 20s in regret?! really? omg. what is wrong with me? i need booze. i need to club. i do hope we can club tmr. i need to hit the reset button. and clubbing usually does it.
well, shirley, u've always wanted to know what would happen if you didnt do anything about your life? well, nothing happens. nothing happens...
so, i asked this on SP and i will ask it here:
life is a standstill now. im leading a life even more stagnant than the water at the bottom of my flower vase (just kidding, NEA!) but yeah, u get it. its 2 weeks into school now. when i'm in school with people, i become me. the joking, chatty, alright girl. but then, its the rest days that makes life at a standstill. i know im supposed to use the free time to study, do my homework, rest, exercise.. make my life better. but thing is, i dont know how to get started. im still pretty much stuck in poly mode still. time passes soooo fucking slowly. i have no drive to do anything. not even blogging. all i do is watch family guy, watch movies, watch brother bear, watch shrek, watch diary of a wimpy kid.. go to school.. wait for people to msg. wait for someone to talk to me on fb. wait for things to happen. whatever happened to my life? omg. i admit, im pretty much of a wreck. i just can't seem to get anything straightened out. omg, for goodness sake! i was an editor of the yearbook! gosh.
every week, i tell myself. ok, this is the last week to get wasted. time to pull your socks next week and start it out. and then it lapse back into this lazy-person mould. so lazy. so unmotivated. so useless. my brain feels like, its been kept in the attic under dusts and cobwebs. and now, its pretty hard to get the engine moving. omg.
im at this point of life where i wished for. having off days in a school week. starting uni. made a couple of friends. omg. fuck. other than that, i have nothing going on! i havent felt so free for so long. in poly, there were periods of weeks or months where i didnt even eat dinner with my family for 2 weeks in a row! i've had days where work (proper work, like editting.. not schoolwork) piled up so high, i felt so good and useful and efficient and i just wanted to work. and omg. i sound like a 60 year old who just retired. im just about to begin life. is this how im going about it?! gahhh.
i wanna put my life back where i had control over it. and not the other way round! sigh. do i really wanna lead my 20s in regret?! really? omg. what is wrong with me? i need booze. i need to club. i do hope we can club tmr. i need to hit the reset button. and clubbing usually does it.
well, shirley, u've always wanted to know what would happen if you didnt do anything about your life? well, nothing happens. nothing happens...
so, i asked this on SP and i will ask it here:
Is it okay to start afresh even if its not new year's day?
Monday, September 27, 2010
heigh, ho the merri-o!
lol. Thats a random blog title. So, yesterday was a peaceful sunday afternoon. Spent it eating nasi padang at rendezvous then played titanic and other board games at emsy's place. And snacked. Hahha. came home and rested and just chilled my panties (its a phrase..). Watched fam guy the entire night cus couldnt get to sleep.
Came into school this morning, surprisingly untired. I went to buy sandwich and just when i was thinking, 'yup. Getting used to coming to sch alone and eat brekkie alone...' wint and wei xia nudged me! :D awesome. Then headed to socio class. Can i be honest? I dont know if im gnna do well for sociology, but i fucking fucking love it. Omg. Its my favouritest module. Its like, rlly something i do everydau last time. Observing the norms. Omg. I regret not taking it as a major. Omfg. How? I think i've found my calling. hopefully, when i hit mid-life crisis and have money, i can go and learn socio. Idk. i love it! I fucking love the lectures/activities and questions. Zomg. :D and of course, my groupmates. :) they rlly brighten my mondays up leh. Hahaha.
Well, after that was pbf. Went to lecture. And shyenne came. Sat w her. and we just chatted. Well, the lecturer was pretty boring at first but slowly, she cracked up and it wasnt so bad anymore. Ironically, i love mondays now. Hahah :) weds have tf! haha.
After sch headed to meet morgan for high tea at v8. Watched this jap detective show. Fuckin cheesy. Give me kindaichi any moment! :)) well, ok, im actually blogging this frm my toilet bowl with dripping hair cus doing hairmask. Need to waste 15 mins. So might as well do a blogpost. :) teehee. am smilimg..
Btw, to B, HAHA! Well, when u msged me what u msged me, i've never felt more like a hypocrite in my life. I've never wanted to rub more salt on anyone's wounds before. And u... i've waited for this day forever, and well, i love to rub it in your fucking wimpy face that HAAH! Right at u. Serve u right for ditching me. Hope its e worst decision in ur life because it became the best thing that has happened to me. Yup. Suck on it, because my life is wayyyyyy better than urs. Hands down. :D OH YEAHHHHHHH!
Came into school this morning, surprisingly untired. I went to buy sandwich and just when i was thinking, 'yup. Getting used to coming to sch alone and eat brekkie alone...' wint and wei xia nudged me! :D awesome. Then headed to socio class. Can i be honest? I dont know if im gnna do well for sociology, but i fucking fucking love it. Omg. Its my favouritest module. Its like, rlly something i do everydau last time. Observing the norms. Omg. I regret not taking it as a major. Omfg. How? I think i've found my calling. hopefully, when i hit mid-life crisis and have money, i can go and learn socio. Idk. i love it! I fucking love the lectures/activities and questions. Zomg. :D and of course, my groupmates. :) they rlly brighten my mondays up leh. Hahaha.
Well, after that was pbf. Went to lecture. And shyenne came. Sat w her. and we just chatted. Well, the lecturer was pretty boring at first but slowly, she cracked up and it wasnt so bad anymore. Ironically, i love mondays now. Hahah :) weds have tf! haha.
After sch headed to meet morgan for high tea at v8. Watched this jap detective show. Fuckin cheesy. Give me kindaichi any moment! :)) well, ok, im actually blogging this frm my toilet bowl with dripping hair cus doing hairmask. Need to waste 15 mins. So might as well do a blogpost. :) teehee. am smilimg..
Btw, to B, HAHA! Well, when u msged me what u msged me, i've never felt more like a hypocrite in my life. I've never wanted to rub more salt on anyone's wounds before. And u... i've waited for this day forever, and well, i love to rub it in your fucking wimpy face that HAAH! Right at u. Serve u right for ditching me. Hope its e worst decision in ur life because it became the best thing that has happened to me. Yup. Suck on it, because my life is wayyyyyy better than urs. Hands down. :D OH YEAHHHHHHH!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
What will i honestly become without my friends?
Well, its 12.45am on a saturday evening and i'd say my weekends have been pretty good so far :D yesterday was definitely the highlight of my week! woke up at 12, then went to meet up with MOM friends at about 5pm. waited outside and i saw many ex-colleague, david, lye cheng, sonia... haha. miss the lot, i'd say, i even missed david. lol!
so anyhoos, we met and i decided to bring them to the nv xia, cheena restaurant at chinatown. and we really had a lot of fun pretending to be all ancient chinese and kungfu-ish and ancient! hahaha. super fun! we couldnt stop laughing when they said all those kungfu-ish phrases.
the "da fan tuan" which is fucking fucking nice. even hsin ming, who seldom eats meat, was like loving it! inside is minced meat and salted yolk.
Sereeenz and me!
HOI!
MOM is love!
then after that, we headed to.... the famous dessert stall in chinatown and had shaved ice! yummies.
peanut!
almond!!
its so nice and warm being with them! really really was the best day of the week lor, i tell u. hahah. after that, we wanted to chill, so headed to this karaoke place at chinatown called "ten dollars" hahahha! its pretty worth it! but the songs are quite limited. so we sang really old school songs, like "bye bye bye" by n'sync. kevin sure was a boy-band boy! LOL! then serene solo-ed beautiful songs like "dao dai" .. her voice v power. haha. then me and gerard kept singing click five songs. and when "kiss goodbye" was on, we all sang together! hahah!!! our session ended at 10pm. then i was only starting to get high.. so i didnt wanna go home yet but well, serene and hc had stuff on saturday. so me, kevin and gerard butler headed to clarke quay. showed them 7 inch and kevin scared he'll miss last train. so we were supposed to go home (yea, secretly i was disappointed... haha.) then gerard suggested we buy beer and sit by the river bank. so kevin headed home and i went beer-ing with gerard. haha. just what i needed - a soul-detoxifying chat. since welbsie left for ns, i havent had any of such chats. no one i could pour my boring philosophies and boring observations to. and then, we just chatted about alot of things. smoking, life, mom.. haha. going into mom really was the best choice i've made in my life and ever working in uss was the worst decision of my life. i swear. then at about midnight, he flagged a cab for me and i headed home. all i could do was heave a sigh of relief that lotsa stuff were off my chest. :D nothing like a good friend to pour these kinda verbal diarrhea to.
I mean, sometimes i wanna say it on soulpancake, but some people are just cocky. so it irks me sometimes, but overall, they're all alright. and i have reduced the frequency of me posting these shallow questions. hahha.
well, so today.. i just spent my day lazing around. woke up, ate lunch, watched fam guy, napped, went dinnering with fam, bought massage chair and came home. we even caught a glimpse of F1 while on the highway. teehee. :D
okay la. gonna titanic tomorrow at emsy's place!! cant wait for tmr and thurs (welbsie is bookin out) and fri (clurrbing! zomgg~~~) .. so, yup. peace out.
so anyhoos, we met and i decided to bring them to the nv xia, cheena restaurant at chinatown. and we really had a lot of fun pretending to be all ancient chinese and kungfu-ish and ancient! hahaha. super fun! we couldnt stop laughing when they said all those kungfu-ish phrases.
the "da fan tuan" which is fucking fucking nice. even hsin ming, who seldom eats meat, was like loving it! inside is minced meat and salted yolk.
Sereeenz and me!
HOI!
MOM is love!
then after that, we headed to.... the famous dessert stall in chinatown and had shaved ice! yummies.
peanut!
almond!!its so nice and warm being with them! really really was the best day of the week lor, i tell u. hahah. after that, we wanted to chill, so headed to this karaoke place at chinatown called "ten dollars" hahahha! its pretty worth it! but the songs are quite limited. so we sang really old school songs, like "bye bye bye" by n'sync. kevin sure was a boy-band boy! LOL! then serene solo-ed beautiful songs like "dao dai" .. her voice v power. haha. then me and gerard kept singing click five songs. and when "kiss goodbye" was on, we all sang together! hahah!!! our session ended at 10pm. then i was only starting to get high.. so i didnt wanna go home yet but well, serene and hc had stuff on saturday. so me, kevin and gerard butler headed to clarke quay. showed them 7 inch and kevin scared he'll miss last train. so we were supposed to go home (yea, secretly i was disappointed... haha.) then gerard suggested we buy beer and sit by the river bank. so kevin headed home and i went beer-ing with gerard. haha. just what i needed - a soul-detoxifying chat. since welbsie left for ns, i havent had any of such chats. no one i could pour my boring philosophies and boring observations to. and then, we just chatted about alot of things. smoking, life, mom.. haha. going into mom really was the best choice i've made in my life and ever working in uss was the worst decision of my life. i swear. then at about midnight, he flagged a cab for me and i headed home. all i could do was heave a sigh of relief that lotsa stuff were off my chest. :D nothing like a good friend to pour these kinda verbal diarrhea to.
I mean, sometimes i wanna say it on soulpancake, but some people are just cocky. so it irks me sometimes, but overall, they're all alright. and i have reduced the frequency of me posting these shallow questions. hahha.
well, so today.. i just spent my day lazing around. woke up, ate lunch, watched fam guy, napped, went dinnering with fam, bought massage chair and came home. we even caught a glimpse of F1 while on the highway. teehee. :D
okay la. gonna titanic tomorrow at emsy's place!! cant wait for tmr and thurs (welbsie is bookin out) and fri (clurrbing! zomgg~~~) .. so, yup. peace out.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Warning: Bimbotic blogpost ahead...
Heyheyhey! well, i've pretty much bounced back compared to sunday night. honestly, i still feel the trace of sadness despite having bounced back. well, hows my week so far? hmm, tuesday was totally a good rest day. stayed home, watched lots and lots of tv. wednesday was school. was abit late for accounting lecture. so happy to meet tingfang. well, the management accounting lecturer sure was naggy. lol! alot alot of pep talk. but well, lets see how well he teaches la. haha. it was full house though! so well, yup. then had managerial econs where i met derrick. well, seems like wenqi is also in the same lecture as us. haha. oh well. i dunno why, but i felt alot more gamed and focused for econs than other modules. maybe its the fear for it ba. as szeyee puts it, this is just honeymoon week. after school, went to sp with tf to find out that foodcourt 4 is closed. yup. at night, played this new game called "bumper stars" with morgan. fucking hilarious and fun. couldnt stop laughing. and as for today, slept till the cow came home. haha. no la, about 12, woke up.. watched a bit of tv. met up with morgan and nana at cathay for jap buffet. yummy madness! esp gyoza! esp after the teenage auditions day when we ate sushi tei and claudia ordered gyoza, we're mad crazy over it! well, today was pretty fun. talked about sec sch stuff over jap buffet food. then went to walk around daiso, bought a couple of things.. walked around spotlight. reminded me of the thought of mine which is to make my own pencil case.. lol! but yeah, i must complete eiffel tower first before talking about that!! lol! so, some pics which are pretty overdue!
Modcloth.com stuff!
Remember i bought stuff from modcloth and the shipping was almost as expensive as the stuff itself? haha. yup. the stuff came in a loooooong time ago. so just wanted to put the pics up...
the sticker's very cute huh!
i like to tell my friends that i bought cow skin. hahah! but nah, its a coaster. hahha.
100 squirrel paperclips!!!! :D so adorable! i dun think i'll bear to use it callously!
recycling bag! :D i use it as a tote though. haha. its pretty... chic!
Re-organising make-up stuffs!
well, i've been wanting to do this a long time ago and finally bought the container from daiso and transferred my makeup stuffs from the measly blue maybelline makeup pouch to an organised box! :D here are some of my loots...
Before
surprisingly, thats all of what i have. i actually cleared out a lot of stuff last time. so, yup. left the bare essentials!
well, surprised to see i have falsies right? well, i was just as surprised! LOL! i totally forgotten about its existence. i remembered le, me, hongchoo and anita bought them for dinner and dance. but in the end, we didnt like the look, so didnt use them. hmmm... will experiment then! hehe!
these are my necessities. i swear, without these, i'll feel naked when i go to school. well, if u ask me to pick 3 of them, i'd pick the foundation, eyeliner and the L'oreal eyeshaow palette (the brown shade is very good for shading! really.. ). hahah! if ask me to pick 1, i'll choose eyeliner for sure. the other day i left home with all my makeup on except eyeliner.. well, confidence greatly dropped. so yea.
the box! nice ar, the handle!!
and the final result! :D looks so clean and neat! hahah!!
well, finally, after buying the pictures from ikea for a loooong time ago, i have finally bought the appropriate adhesive to paste them on my wall!
naise uh! i love them!
UOL notes and subject guides. lol. and random letters by the side!
my dad on TV! :D
its been sooo soooo long since i last zi-paied without makeup and stuff. :D au naturel!
well, cant wait to dinner/movie/pub with mom colleagues tmr night! then guess its stay home weekends. need to start mugging. and also, f1! -vrrooooooom-
Modcloth.com stuff!
Remember i bought stuff from modcloth and the shipping was almost as expensive as the stuff itself? haha. yup. the stuff came in a loooooong time ago. so just wanted to put the pics up...
the sticker's very cute huh!
i like to tell my friends that i bought cow skin. hahah! but nah, its a coaster. hahha.
100 squirrel paperclips!!!! :D so adorable! i dun think i'll bear to use it callously!
recycling bag! :D i use it as a tote though. haha. its pretty... chic!Re-organising make-up stuffs!
well, i've been wanting to do this a long time ago and finally bought the container from daiso and transferred my makeup stuffs from the measly blue maybelline makeup pouch to an organised box! :D here are some of my loots...
Before
surprisingly, thats all of what i have. i actually cleared out a lot of stuff last time. so, yup. left the bare essentials!
well, surprised to see i have falsies right? well, i was just as surprised! LOL! i totally forgotten about its existence. i remembered le, me, hongchoo and anita bought them for dinner and dance. but in the end, we didnt like the look, so didnt use them. hmmm... will experiment then! hehe!
these are my necessities. i swear, without these, i'll feel naked when i go to school. well, if u ask me to pick 3 of them, i'd pick the foundation, eyeliner and the L'oreal eyeshaow palette (the brown shade is very good for shading! really.. ). hahah! if ask me to pick 1, i'll choose eyeliner for sure. the other day i left home with all my makeup on except eyeliner.. well, confidence greatly dropped. so yea.
the box! nice ar, the handle!!
and the final result! :D looks so clean and neat! hahah!!well, finally, after buying the pictures from ikea for a loooong time ago, i have finally bought the appropriate adhesive to paste them on my wall!
naise uh! i love them!
UOL notes and subject guides. lol. and random letters by the side!
my dad on TV! :D
its been sooo soooo long since i last zi-paied without makeup and stuff. :D au naturel!well, cant wait to dinner/movie/pub with mom colleagues tmr night! then guess its stay home weekends. need to start mugging. and also, f1! -vrrooooooom-
Monday, September 20, 2010
Thoughts about 1st day @school
well, to be honest, i'm not feeling that school re-opening is all bad. i feel that my life has a structure once again and im feeling normal. able to blog. able to think properly. able to function while being alone. unlike the days when i was jumping from job to job, or during holidays, it just feels that my life didnt have a structure. but now, at least i know i have a routine to stick to for the next couple of months to come. hmm, maybe i really am cut out to be an accountant. so rigid and all. i guess i just missed having a routine + laughter in my life. yeah. perfect formula. haha.
actually, who am i to complain about life? i'm only 20 (i guess its an age many grown ups wanna return to) and i am about to embark on a promising education. i still have my good friends around me. i have a good and proper family. i have a clean bill of health. what more should i complain about huh? im really lame. yeah, so what if my life cannot be as noisy and fun as it used to... and cannot be compared to others. well, but i do lead my life, so i guess it has to be my way.
the thing is, i havent been aware of it until now that.. actually although i used to say that im independent on my own and can make myself happy.. well.. im wrong. my smile consists of my friends, family.. especially my darling boomzers, reggie and welbsie. they all make me. thats why, when they slowly become more detached (but still in touch) from my life, i slowly fell apart.. yup. time to pick myself up. think of the greater good i guess. i'll try my best to hang on. but maybe, like the kite theory, the only way for it to fly higher, is to let go.
well, thats what i did with the guy i like. well, truth be told, i still like him. but sometimes, i wonder if i really do because i like him as him, or because he was the only guy suitable in my life. if its the latter, i'd rather not tell him anything. but at this point of my life, as much as i wished i had a Mr Right, my friends and families far outweigh having a boyfriend. and i really like him alot but our precious precious friendship is so so important to me, i can never ever think what i would do without it. let's just say, he is one of the reason i am strong and smiling today. :) so, i've decided. i want him to be happy. and if being with me makes him happy, of course it is the best la. but if being with someone else who loves him makes him happy, i'll smile for him too. :) i've decided. i know, on lonely nights like tonight, i will look back and wished i had told him. but overall, no regrets. ahah. i'll never wanna be the cause of anyone's misery. lol! and i don't know if its sheer coincidence, but they're playing "i'll be there" on class95 (slowly, i feel mr young's section abit irritating. especially the celebrity's birthday phonecall segment). so, yup. to whom it may concern,
"I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there
I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and I'll be there
If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you
'Cause if he doesn't, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there..."
so yup. i guess, im pretty much prepared to walk on la. :)
p/s: i fucking hope i can club on childrens day! omg. with martin out and be able to club with anita. =D AWESOME!
actually, who am i to complain about life? i'm only 20 (i guess its an age many grown ups wanna return to) and i am about to embark on a promising education. i still have my good friends around me. i have a good and proper family. i have a clean bill of health. what more should i complain about huh? im really lame. yeah, so what if my life cannot be as noisy and fun as it used to... and cannot be compared to others. well, but i do lead my life, so i guess it has to be my way.
the thing is, i havent been aware of it until now that.. actually although i used to say that im independent on my own and can make myself happy.. well.. im wrong. my smile consists of my friends, family.. especially my darling boomzers, reggie and welbsie. they all make me. thats why, when they slowly become more detached (but still in touch) from my life, i slowly fell apart.. yup. time to pick myself up. think of the greater good i guess. i'll try my best to hang on. but maybe, like the kite theory, the only way for it to fly higher, is to let go.
well, thats what i did with the guy i like. well, truth be told, i still like him. but sometimes, i wonder if i really do because i like him as him, or because he was the only guy suitable in my life. if its the latter, i'd rather not tell him anything. but at this point of my life, as much as i wished i had a Mr Right, my friends and families far outweigh having a boyfriend. and i really like him alot but our precious precious friendship is so so important to me, i can never ever think what i would do without it. let's just say, he is one of the reason i am strong and smiling today. :) so, i've decided. i want him to be happy. and if being with me makes him happy, of course it is the best la. but if being with someone else who loves him makes him happy, i'll smile for him too. :) i've decided. i know, on lonely nights like tonight, i will look back and wished i had told him. but overall, no regrets. ahah. i'll never wanna be the cause of anyone's misery. lol! and i don't know if its sheer coincidence, but they're playing "i'll be there" on class95 (slowly, i feel mr young's section abit irritating. especially the celebrity's birthday phonecall segment). so, yup. to whom it may concern,
"I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there
I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and I'll be there
If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you
'Cause if he doesn't, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there..."
so yup. i guess, im pretty much prepared to walk on la. :)
p/s: i fucking hope i can club on childrens day! omg. with martin out and be able to club with anita. =D AWESOME!
First day of school @ UOL
today was my first day of school. i couldnt sleep the entire night because
1. i was still sad
2. i watched "the devil" yesterday and the old woman's face kept appearing in my mind.. x:
3. i was wondering how it'd go, so kinda nervous
well, i didnt have trouble waking up at 6am though. cus i was probably too nervous and all. so, managed to keep spamming "the big bang theory theme song" by barenakedladies
well, i still do hope to accomplish singing it, but its so damn fast!!
but there was this part, where the train went past dover mrt. and i looked at the steps that led up to the business building and my heart just wrenched so much, i cried. i pretended to yawn so i look like the tears came down cus of the yawn, but not from my heart. cus, its really never gonna happen again. the 5 of us going to school together. from now, till forever, im going to be taking that train ride to school alone. no longer gonna meet up with the clique, though sometimes frustrating cus ppl will be late and stuff, but always cheering the day up nonetheless. nope. no more of that. im still adjusting to it. really. oh well, so anyway. reached clementi and i was really a klutz. but u cant blame me because well, i brought the subject guides along also. so bulky. learnt my lesson. lol. first lesson was sociology, and i reached school rlly early. lol. so bought sandwiches and a coffee (omg. officially the worst coffe i have ever tasted. dont even have a teeny weeny bit of aroma. what am i to do without caffeine??). so anyway, luckily i went early and i had plenty of seats to choose from. so i sat in the middle row. and guess what? I FORGOT TO BRING MY PENCIL CASE! OMG! like, really. the worst thing that can happen on a first day of school, in an environment where u knew nobody and it was 5 minutes to lecture. omg! so, at first i msged hsin ming and rayson. then, luckily, just at that point.. a girl who was sitting in the same row as me caught my eye and we sat next to each other and she very kindly lent me a pen and highlighter! her name is wint! so cool huh! she reminds me of sarrah. :) sociology was really interesting. had to have group discussions and presentations! haha. i had to present on the first day, but luckily, there was alot of other groups presenting on the first question, so we consolidated our answers and one guy went to present.
sidenote: sociology really really feels like something i might have interest in! people watching, making the familiar strange! i do that alot! if you notice my blog, i've been talking about.. making the familiar strange! :D omg. i wished i major-ed in sociology. i have a feeling i'll fall in love with this module. it has globalisation and stuff! plus, the people in my socio lecture seems very.. toast-masterish. i reallly think i'm gonna enjoy it. the only bad thing: it has to start at an ungodly time like 8.30am! lol.
so, ya, managed to make a couple of friends, so not so lonely. so headed to pbf after half an hour break where i met up with the pretty sakila and hsin ming and monica! then, found this girl who was in my bridging class and we always take the same bus and she occasionally smiles at me. her name is shaynne. haha. so sat beside her also. plus, yongming also in same lecture. lol. ok la. phew. it wasnt so bad. i thought i would be all alone for the whole two years. well, hopefully this keeps up la. but i re-read my blogpost on the first day at school in SP.. well, i definitely sounded way more exciting than this. but oh well. hahha. i guess it means serious business this time because my pbf lecturer is the female version of sin mun wah. lol! ok la, better pull my socks up if i wanna do masters. :)
but bad thing was, so fucking sleepy. i dozed off for the last half of socio and first half of pbf. hahha. okay lar. my blogging bug is back. ciao! :D
anyway, i dont know who reads my blog, but i guess i'll still do this. i've been pretty active on soulpancake. so everytime i post a question there, i shall post it here.
soulpancake for the day: What strokes your ego?
well, if you want, u can always comment on my blogpost. if not, just ask yourself this and smile :D
1. i was still sad
2. i watched "the devil" yesterday and the old woman's face kept appearing in my mind.. x:
3. i was wondering how it'd go, so kinda nervous
well, i didnt have trouble waking up at 6am though. cus i was probably too nervous and all. so, managed to keep spamming "the big bang theory theme song" by barenakedladies
well, i still do hope to accomplish singing it, but its so damn fast!!
but there was this part, where the train went past dover mrt. and i looked at the steps that led up to the business building and my heart just wrenched so much, i cried. i pretended to yawn so i look like the tears came down cus of the yawn, but not from my heart. cus, its really never gonna happen again. the 5 of us going to school together. from now, till forever, im going to be taking that train ride to school alone. no longer gonna meet up with the clique, though sometimes frustrating cus ppl will be late and stuff, but always cheering the day up nonetheless. nope. no more of that. im still adjusting to it. really. oh well, so anyway. reached clementi and i was really a klutz. but u cant blame me because well, i brought the subject guides along also. so bulky. learnt my lesson. lol. first lesson was sociology, and i reached school rlly early. lol. so bought sandwiches and a coffee (omg. officially the worst coffe i have ever tasted. dont even have a teeny weeny bit of aroma. what am i to do without caffeine??). so anyway, luckily i went early and i had plenty of seats to choose from. so i sat in the middle row. and guess what? I FORGOT TO BRING MY PENCIL CASE! OMG! like, really. the worst thing that can happen on a first day of school, in an environment where u knew nobody and it was 5 minutes to lecture. omg! so, at first i msged hsin ming and rayson. then, luckily, just at that point.. a girl who was sitting in the same row as me caught my eye and we sat next to each other and she very kindly lent me a pen and highlighter! her name is wint! so cool huh! she reminds me of sarrah. :) sociology was really interesting. had to have group discussions and presentations! haha. i had to present on the first day, but luckily, there was alot of other groups presenting on the first question, so we consolidated our answers and one guy went to present.
sidenote: sociology really really feels like something i might have interest in! people watching, making the familiar strange! i do that alot! if you notice my blog, i've been talking about.. making the familiar strange! :D omg. i wished i major-ed in sociology. i have a feeling i'll fall in love with this module. it has globalisation and stuff! plus, the people in my socio lecture seems very.. toast-masterish. i reallly think i'm gonna enjoy it. the only bad thing: it has to start at an ungodly time like 8.30am! lol.
so, ya, managed to make a couple of friends, so not so lonely. so headed to pbf after half an hour break where i met up with the pretty sakila and hsin ming and monica! then, found this girl who was in my bridging class and we always take the same bus and she occasionally smiles at me. her name is shaynne. haha. so sat beside her also. plus, yongming also in same lecture. lol. ok la. phew. it wasnt so bad. i thought i would be all alone for the whole two years. well, hopefully this keeps up la. but i re-read my blogpost on the first day at school in SP.. well, i definitely sounded way more exciting than this. but oh well. hahha. i guess it means serious business this time because my pbf lecturer is the female version of sin mun wah. lol! ok la, better pull my socks up if i wanna do masters. :)
but bad thing was, so fucking sleepy. i dozed off for the last half of socio and first half of pbf. hahha. okay lar. my blogging bug is back. ciao! :D
anyway, i dont know who reads my blog, but i guess i'll still do this. i've been pretty active on soulpancake. so everytime i post a question there, i shall post it here.
soulpancake for the day: What strokes your ego?
well, if you want, u can always comment on my blogpost. if not, just ask yourself this and smile :D
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Jitters: first day of school tomorrow.
yesterday was really an interesting day cus morgan and xiin went to audition for teenage kpop dance competition and well, they may only have gotten a "maybe" but in my hearts, they're already winners :D and morgan spending her last day as a teen at a teenage event, sure is meaningful as hell! hahha. :D sushi tei-ed after that. super love them. bought morgan some cute cupcakes from centrepoint. haha. glad she loved it.
Well, i've decided to go offline so that i'll be able to drag myself away from this laptop. well, its 11.45pm now. a brand new start for me starts in about 6 hours time. i feel a mixture of sadness and fear, but more of sadness. cus well, when tomorrow begins, it officially means that my definition of going to school will no longer be: meeting up with boomzers and walking up er mei shan. i might be walking alone for the next 2 years. and maybe with a different group of people. whatever the outcome is, im just sad that it will no longer happen. but luckily, just now watched "the devil" with nei and anita. and honestly, it made the pre-school jitters alot alot better. i felt like crying and hugging them because of this mixed feelings and i was close to tears in the bus. but, i won't cry anymore. as my fellow soulpancakers tell me, its a new start and who knows what will happen. at the most, when the going gets tough, i'll rewind and think of my friends who have been there and all the good and happy memories of SP. im scared too, cus i'll probably be the few who's going in alone and i am pretty shy at meeting new people. well, so officially, its goodbye SP shirley.. and hello SIM shirley. nonetheless, the core is still the same. i'm going to be strong and suck it up and walk on with a smile, because i can. and because my loved ones would one to see me like that and not a big sack of frowns. i'll do it for them, i'll do it for me. :)
okay. its so sad life has to move on. sigh. but i do hope that, we'll be friends and best of friends, no matter what happens. :) super super super gonna miss them. i feel like crying again. omg. what happened to me??? and i really dont dare tell albsie i've been crying. i mean, his life in ns is probably tough. i dont wanna make it worse. so, yeah. ohhh fuck ohhh fuck. ok la. here goes. goodnight world. goodnight memories. goodnight my dearest darling last night as being the SP girl. :')
Well, i've decided to go offline so that i'll be able to drag myself away from this laptop. well, its 11.45pm now. a brand new start for me starts in about 6 hours time. i feel a mixture of sadness and fear, but more of sadness. cus well, when tomorrow begins, it officially means that my definition of going to school will no longer be: meeting up with boomzers and walking up er mei shan. i might be walking alone for the next 2 years. and maybe with a different group of people. whatever the outcome is, im just sad that it will no longer happen. but luckily, just now watched "the devil" with nei and anita. and honestly, it made the pre-school jitters alot alot better. i felt like crying and hugging them because of this mixed feelings and i was close to tears in the bus. but, i won't cry anymore. as my fellow soulpancakers tell me, its a new start and who knows what will happen. at the most, when the going gets tough, i'll rewind and think of my friends who have been there and all the good and happy memories of SP. im scared too, cus i'll probably be the few who's going in alone and i am pretty shy at meeting new people. well, so officially, its goodbye SP shirley.. and hello SIM shirley. nonetheless, the core is still the same. i'm going to be strong and suck it up and walk on with a smile, because i can. and because my loved ones would one to see me like that and not a big sack of frowns. i'll do it for them, i'll do it for me. :)
okay. its so sad life has to move on. sigh. but i do hope that, we'll be friends and best of friends, no matter what happens. :) super super super gonna miss them. i feel like crying again. omg. what happened to me??? and i really dont dare tell albsie i've been crying. i mean, his life in ns is probably tough. i dont wanna make it worse. so, yeah. ohhh fuck ohhh fuck. ok la. here goes. goodnight world. goodnight memories. goodnight my dearest darling last night as being the SP girl. :')
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Suck it up.
well, i've managed to feel alright now. like, thank goodness for the kind people on SP. yeah, i mean, i just have to read through their comments and i find them really constructive. yeah. big bang theory also helps though!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
empty (for another night)
i feel like.. an invertebrate. need to lean on someone till i grow some backbone. i hate myself now. fat and needy. really piece of shit. and i have to disturb a couple of people with my negative thoughts. ok. need to snap out of this. i'll give myself 1 more day. shirley, you're pathetic. grow strong.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Empty..
honestly, i was perfectly fine before my birthday but suddenly, after all the celebrations died down, i felt so so so empty inside. im 20. about to step into adulthood. i have no idea what i should change. who i should be anymore. i felt so independant before 12 sept. now, i feel like i just need to hold on to someone for emotional support just like when we entered primary 1 and needed our mummies to hold our hands into the classroom and let the teacher hold on from there. i need that kind of support now. i guess, before 12 sept.. everything was boomz! i had great work, great colleague, i was meeting up with my friends.. i still had what i want. i was emotionally independant. after 12 sept.. my 2 emotional pillars were kinda gone. and i was supposed to be a young adult. and suddenly, life felt so quiet. so i needed to be in imaginationland everyday to get through. really. i had to "borrow" someone to get me through for a while until i can stand on my own... kinda like trainee wheels. yeah. sigh.
20th birthday! :D
I haven't been blogging.. cus well.. to be honest, alb being my biggest reader is now in tekong and i kinda lost the drive to blog. thats only one of the reasons.. i've just been so busy.. working and playing.. luckily this year, my birthday was on the long weekends, so i managed to have alot of fun with the people i love, especially those going into army..
Thursday
thursday was my last day in ministry of manpower. it was really the most awesome job i've taken in my life. the job sucked, but it had its rewards. sigh. so sad can. like, just when i was enjoying, i had to leave. my last respondent was actually mediacorp. and they sent their 4 survey forms at 5.45pm! LOL! well, at least i managed to do my part before leaving.. so we bought snacks from sheng shiong for the other staffs. i bought wang wang and peanut candy and pocky for them. haha. sigh. was so sad. then we headed for dinner together at laupasat where i intro-ed them fen yuans. haha. was good cus there was just so much chatting and laughter and singing. yeah, there was a live band and we just sang along, unembarrassed! hahaha. then after that, we headed to clarke quay to the pub that i explored last last saturday.. and we had beers. and it was damn awesome, except for the part where the guys started sharing army ghost stories. poor siong kai, who went in yesterday... lol! wonder if he was traumatized. but gerard kept trying to scare me lor! he kept whispering "how old are you ar?" when i was sipping my beer or something.. LOL! but we just laughed until we all cried about things. about the weird habits, about people.. i just cannot remember laughing so hard for so long in a long while. hopefully we'll all keep in touch..
this sign belongs to one of the guys we dun like, called "no noise" LOL! ya. so lame one la him. i still gave him peanut candy at the end of the day lor..
Friday
friday was hari raya haji and headed to meet up with martin and anita where we watched resident evil 3. actually really reluctant to watch that and it turned out to be lousier than i expected. i was shocked a couple of times because of the sudden appearance of the zombies, but the plot sucked. there wasn't even a plot. gahh. haha. but the company was more important lor. haha. last movie martin watched before he went into army would be RE3 x: i wonder if he regretted not. hahaha. had chippys and yogurt. then da bao-ed dinner for bro! loveeed toriQ!
Saturday
met up with alb for lunch for the last time before he tekong-ed. had everything with fries. great detoxifying session with him. wished i could have witnessed his head-shaving moment! but hahaha.. he's too paiseh uh! LOL! after that, i went home, rested and prepared for the evening. LOL! i was supposed to be meeting chantel for pubbing session. so i went to have frog porridge dinner with family. was supposed to be at clarke quay at 9pm and i only reached home to shower and makeup at 8.15pm. LOL. luckily dad and bro wanted to go and check out mooncake festival and they headed to clarke quay, thus dropping me off. so i met chantel and eventually she brought me to the pub where hongchoo, anita, nei and martin were there! i was like fucking surprised! i was expecting my last night as a 19 year old to be a quiet, self-reflective one with my gf. and somemore, i jio-ed nei and martin and nei said "i have important dragonboat practice" while martin said "i have to buy black tape" hahaha. omg. i did tear alittle. plus their gift was this box of beautiful and very yummy cupcakes... it was the best birthday surprise yet. and they ordered 2 hoegaarden for me cus i said in my sms to chantel "i wanna drink alot". haha. then after drinking there, we headed to seven inch at clarke quay to see bar top dancing and drink somemore. so touched that.. everyone took time off jut for the evening. plus i know hc and anita are facing problems of their own... so yeah. :D i couldnt help it but hugged everybody because really no words can decribe how i felt.
cupcakes made with love!
Sunday
woke up with a slight headache and a lovely wallet from my family. hahah!! its high time i changed my wallet since my wallet is un-closable and 3 years old. hahah. headed to billy bombers where we had ribs. standards dropped so much. but so sad to see it empty and quiet on a sunday afternoon.. it used to be so popular.. then headed to bugis where i met nei and his sis. lol! supposed to go out with martin and chantel also, but all pangseh uh! LOL! then we wanted to watch movie but was timing not right cus i had to go meet mor they all for korean bbq. so, we just headed to v8 for teatime. after that, went to have korean bbq at joo chiat with the girls. zomg. the marinated pork was so, orgasmic! fuckin fuckin good. esp with the veggie. and loads of laughter also, especially about me and xiin having same frequency and in 6D. LOL! after that, we headed to the shaved ice shop at PP. deleesh, i tried the lavender ice with strawberry.. mmmmm. eating cold lavender stuff makes me feel like im in aussie. loves.
Monday
felt really really really withdrawn from not working at MOM. kept msging colleagues and also, i felt so emo the night before i couldnt help but cry so hard that my eyes were so sore. like i just needed to let off steam. and tbh, im still not feeling any better. maybe abit better because met up w sx and emma after work. and we ate at fish and co. and i totally forgotten about the bday celebrations. i have to admit i was feeling rlly shagged by the time i met them. but it got better when i saw them and .. when i called for the bill, the waiter came and ask, "who is the birthday girl" while handling me the fireworks thing. LOL! luckily not a big crowd.. and i had to blow candles from afar and the cake had my face on it!! with emma and sx! and they tasted really sweet and yummy :D
sorry for the little pics.. haha. shall wait for sx's pics to come up.. hehe.
best birthday thus far again once again. really really appreciate it alot!! :D i feel so so so loved. and honestly, all of your presence are already a gift to me. so, i felt very very very blessed :D thanks :D
p/s: changed blogskin to:
the words.. are my own. haha. got inspired by soulpancake, when this guy asked "describe your perfect world in 10 words or less." there u have it :D
btw: this pic was taken by the girls last night :DD
Thursday
thursday was my last day in ministry of manpower. it was really the most awesome job i've taken in my life. the job sucked, but it had its rewards. sigh. so sad can. like, just when i was enjoying, i had to leave. my last respondent was actually mediacorp. and they sent their 4 survey forms at 5.45pm! LOL! well, at least i managed to do my part before leaving.. so we bought snacks from sheng shiong for the other staffs. i bought wang wang and peanut candy and pocky for them. haha. sigh. was so sad. then we headed for dinner together at laupasat where i intro-ed them fen yuans. haha. was good cus there was just so much chatting and laughter and singing. yeah, there was a live band and we just sang along, unembarrassed! hahaha. then after that, we headed to clarke quay to the pub that i explored last last saturday.. and we had beers. and it was damn awesome, except for the part where the guys started sharing army ghost stories. poor siong kai, who went in yesterday... lol! wonder if he was traumatized. but gerard kept trying to scare me lor! he kept whispering "how old are you ar?" when i was sipping my beer or something.. LOL! but we just laughed until we all cried about things. about the weird habits, about people.. i just cannot remember laughing so hard for so long in a long while. hopefully we'll all keep in touch..
this sign belongs to one of the guys we dun like, called "no noise" LOL! ya. so lame one la him. i still gave him peanut candy at the end of the day lor..
Friday
friday was hari raya haji and headed to meet up with martin and anita where we watched resident evil 3. actually really reluctant to watch that and it turned out to be lousier than i expected. i was shocked a couple of times because of the sudden appearance of the zombies, but the plot sucked. there wasn't even a plot. gahh. haha. but the company was more important lor. haha. last movie martin watched before he went into army would be RE3 x: i wonder if he regretted not. hahaha. had chippys and yogurt. then da bao-ed dinner for bro! loveeed toriQ!
Saturday
met up with alb for lunch for the last time before he tekong-ed. had everything with fries. great detoxifying session with him. wished i could have witnessed his head-shaving moment! but hahaha.. he's too paiseh uh! LOL! after that, i went home, rested and prepared for the evening. LOL! i was supposed to be meeting chantel for pubbing session. so i went to have frog porridge dinner with family. was supposed to be at clarke quay at 9pm and i only reached home to shower and makeup at 8.15pm. LOL. luckily dad and bro wanted to go and check out mooncake festival and they headed to clarke quay, thus dropping me off. so i met chantel and eventually she brought me to the pub where hongchoo, anita, nei and martin were there! i was like fucking surprised! i was expecting my last night as a 19 year old to be a quiet, self-reflective one with my gf. and somemore, i jio-ed nei and martin and nei said "i have important dragonboat practice" while martin said "i have to buy black tape" hahaha. omg. i did tear alittle. plus their gift was this box of beautiful and very yummy cupcakes... it was the best birthday surprise yet. and they ordered 2 hoegaarden for me cus i said in my sms to chantel "i wanna drink alot". haha. then after drinking there, we headed to seven inch at clarke quay to see bar top dancing and drink somemore. so touched that.. everyone took time off jut for the evening. plus i know hc and anita are facing problems of their own... so yeah. :D i couldnt help it but hugged everybody because really no words can decribe how i felt.
cupcakes made with love!Sunday
woke up with a slight headache and a lovely wallet from my family. hahah!! its high time i changed my wallet since my wallet is un-closable and 3 years old. hahah. headed to billy bombers where we had ribs. standards dropped so much. but so sad to see it empty and quiet on a sunday afternoon.. it used to be so popular.. then headed to bugis where i met nei and his sis. lol! supposed to go out with martin and chantel also, but all pangseh uh! LOL! then we wanted to watch movie but was timing not right cus i had to go meet mor they all for korean bbq. so, we just headed to v8 for teatime. after that, went to have korean bbq at joo chiat with the girls. zomg. the marinated pork was so, orgasmic! fuckin fuckin good. esp with the veggie. and loads of laughter also, especially about me and xiin having same frequency and in 6D. LOL! after that, we headed to the shaved ice shop at PP. deleesh, i tried the lavender ice with strawberry.. mmmmm. eating cold lavender stuff makes me feel like im in aussie. loves.
Monday
felt really really really withdrawn from not working at MOM. kept msging colleagues and also, i felt so emo the night before i couldnt help but cry so hard that my eyes were so sore. like i just needed to let off steam. and tbh, im still not feeling any better. maybe abit better because met up w sx and emma after work. and we ate at fish and co. and i totally forgotten about the bday celebrations. i have to admit i was feeling rlly shagged by the time i met them. but it got better when i saw them and .. when i called for the bill, the waiter came and ask, "who is the birthday girl" while handling me the fireworks thing. LOL! luckily not a big crowd.. and i had to blow candles from afar and the cake had my face on it!! with emma and sx! and they tasted really sweet and yummy :D
sorry for the little pics.. haha. shall wait for sx's pics to come up.. hehe.best birthday thus far again once again. really really appreciate it alot!! :D i feel so so so loved. and honestly, all of your presence are already a gift to me. so, i felt very very very blessed :D thanks :D
p/s: changed blogskin to:
the words.. are my own. haha. got inspired by soulpancake, when this guy asked "describe your perfect world in 10 words or less." there u have it :D
btw: this pic was taken by the girls last night :DD
Sunday, September 12, 2010
i cant stop crying. Its just that.. I realised suddenly that over the past 3 years, i've never been alone. i have always had the support of boomzers. Always. Because no matter how bad the day went, i know i have them to go home with and cheer me up when i go home. And when during exams, we have each other to cheer us on while we mug together. and in happy times.. I know i have them to share my joy with. And now.. Im going to sim alone. Ya... I have szeyee, tf, adeline... But none can compare to the combined forces of boomzers. I just cant.. Help but fucking hate growing up.. can time please, please, please just stop?? I dont' wanna go into sim without knowing they're here.... Ive always portrayed an independant image of myself. But deep inside, god knows how much i rely on these friends to get me through. suddenly, i just feel like.. the trainee wheels have been taken off. I have to face it. The boomzers will be a thing that occurs weekly.. or monthly.. And slowly less. That will happen eventually and we all know it.. But i never want that to happen. God knows how much i love them. All the times we've spent tgt. ahhhh
So, adeline, nei, martin, chantel... These names that i've been so used to and taken granted for... I'll miss u guys like fuck. I just fucking want things to be the way it used to. Sigh.. I just feel like i cant move on without u guys.... Omg....
So, adeline, nei, martin, chantel... These names that i've been so used to and taken granted for... I'll miss u guys like fuck. I just fucking want things to be the way it used to. Sigh.. I just feel like i cant move on without u guys.... Omg....
reflections
sigh. i cannnot get to sleep and once again, i couldn't help it but look at my digital cam and see all the wonderful pictures i've taken with my friends and i cant believe that i was still in poly just this year. And its over. School's starting in about a week's time and school isn't school without martin, nathan, chantel and khng. I just miss the times we'd meet up and walk to school together. And joking around with all of them. Now, its just weekly/ monthly meetups. No more daily. To be honest, im never sick of them. Yeah. I just cried. Sigh. I rlly wished we can go back to those times once again.
How i wish that my SIM life would be as fun and exciting and funny as SP life. Sigh. Looking back though, i do feel like i've matured alot. and i've been through alot as well. i've seen through people.. I've learnt to be less naive.. I've been through the best times, i've been through the drunkest times.. I've also learnt to be stronger. I wished i wasn't so strong though, because if i wasn't... I wouldn't really care about my feelings and do stuff recklessly which i might have appreciated? Sigh.
Well, i've definitely gained alot of weight these days. I think i'l going to jian fei already. Haha. Yup. I mean, i've cut lose alot recently... So yup.
Sigh. Im nt gg to MOM tmr. It just feels so weird and sad. I miss lunching with them and all the laughs and fun we'd have laughing at no noise and stuff. Will miss gerard's voice cus i hear it so often.
And its so fast.. Tmr albsie and martin, one of the favourite boys of my life are heading to NS tmr. They've grown up huh. I feel worried and nervous for them. Not that i dun think that they're independant enough.. But just.. Sigh. Im gnna miss them much. Sigh.
And also, i rlly like him again. Ya. Same guy as the '30 letters' post. My birthday felt special just spending a few hours with him. Haha. Ya.. I wished i had the courage to say it. Or the courage to put him aside and move on. I just treasure our friendship way too much to gamble my feelings on it.
But u know, i have absolutely no confidence in relationships. I feel more confident dealing with friendship anyway.
Oh well. Im feeling fucking emo la. somemore, with albsie in ns, i've got 1 less avid reader. Omgggggg. It feels so weird that the changes i've been expecting is coming true.
How the fuck do people grow up???
How i wish that my SIM life would be as fun and exciting and funny as SP life. Sigh. Looking back though, i do feel like i've matured alot. and i've been through alot as well. i've seen through people.. I've learnt to be less naive.. I've been through the best times, i've been through the drunkest times.. I've also learnt to be stronger. I wished i wasn't so strong though, because if i wasn't... I wouldn't really care about my feelings and do stuff recklessly which i might have appreciated? Sigh.
Well, i've definitely gained alot of weight these days. I think i'l going to jian fei already. Haha. Yup. I mean, i've cut lose alot recently... So yup.
Sigh. Im nt gg to MOM tmr. It just feels so weird and sad. I miss lunching with them and all the laughs and fun we'd have laughing at no noise and stuff. Will miss gerard's voice cus i hear it so often.
And its so fast.. Tmr albsie and martin, one of the favourite boys of my life are heading to NS tmr. They've grown up huh. I feel worried and nervous for them. Not that i dun think that they're independant enough.. But just.. Sigh. Im gnna miss them much. Sigh.
And also, i rlly like him again. Ya. Same guy as the '30 letters' post. My birthday felt special just spending a few hours with him. Haha. Ya.. I wished i had the courage to say it. Or the courage to put him aside and move on. I just treasure our friendship way too much to gamble my feelings on it.
But u know, i have absolutely no confidence in relationships. I feel more confident dealing with friendship anyway.
Oh well. Im feeling fucking emo la. somemore, with albsie in ns, i've got 1 less avid reader. Omgggggg. It feels so weird that the changes i've been expecting is coming true.
How the fuck do people grow up???
REALLY AWESOME BIRTHDAY!
i fucking had an awesome birthday this year. from everything with fries with bertie wertie to the surprise pubbing session last night (nathan said he had impt dragon boat training, to martin saying he has no time to celebrate my bday cus he needs to buy black tape) and all of them were there to keep me company. omfg. i have never felt more loved in my life. thanks boys (martin and nei) and girls (hongchoo, anita, chantel) for their lovely cupcakes. :DD
thanks to my family for their awesome presents!
and thanks to morgan, claudie, nana, xiin and timtim for the korean bbq!
gonna meet sx and emsy for bday celebrations tmr! :D hahaha.
and i really fucking miss working at MOM. and gonna work at mumsy's place. omg. i miss MOM.
and also, i just feel like telling someone something. hahah.
ok. i had an amazing amazing amazing weeekend and birthday this year! shall blog proper soon. super tired :DD
thanks to my family for their awesome presents!
and thanks to morgan, claudie, nana, xiin and timtim for the korean bbq!
gonna meet sx and emsy for bday celebrations tmr! :D hahaha.
and i really fucking miss working at MOM. and gonna work at mumsy's place. omg. i miss MOM.
and also, i just feel like telling someone something. hahah.
ok. i had an amazing amazing amazing weeekend and birthday this year! shall blog proper soon. super tired :DD
Monday, September 6, 2010
Soul pancake
i'm so hooked onto soulpancake.com
its like this forum for people like me who have verbal diarrhea. i mean, sometimes, blogging about it feels like im talking to the wall. over there, i get responses and a wide variety of opinions. hahaha. and it sets me thinking about things i don't usually think! i might jolly well have found my paradise. ahhahaha. will blog laters. anyway, thurs is my last day.i feel like i just got retrenched. lol.
its like this forum for people like me who have verbal diarrhea. i mean, sometimes, blogging about it feels like im talking to the wall. over there, i get responses and a wide variety of opinions. hahaha. and it sets me thinking about things i don't usually think! i might jolly well have found my paradise. ahhahaha. will blog laters. anyway, thurs is my last day.i feel like i just got retrenched. lol.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Good morning world!
it has been a pretty awesome weekend! every outing this week was spontaneous, nothing was planned ahead and it took a surprising turn which was awesome!
was supposed to have dinner with family on friday night but in the end, hong choo asked us out, so we headed to sushi tei for dinner instead! ~suki yaki~ super loves siah. went for a little shopping spree first. hahahaha. then met up with them! was awesome to hang out with them, never fail to make me laugh. plus hongchoo spilled water all over the table! ahhaa .. damn cute. heard about her NTU life. well, i guess, i only have myself to blame for not being able to walk in that path. guess i'll only get to hear the goodness of it. ahahha. but it sounds so damn fun and interesting coming out of hongchoo's mouth!! haha! anyway, so at the shopping spree, i bought these 3 nail polish which was sparkly dark blue, nude and transparent. so when i reached home, which was 11pm and i havent even showered, i tried the nude color on my thumbnail. then i decided to try the blue one on my index finger nail. LOL! i fucking fell in love with that colour. its damn.... FUCKING SEXAYE! its just, one of the more daring colours i've applied on my nail thus far!! then i just got soooooooo addicted to that colour, i painted all my nails, and have to wait till 12.30am to shower. hahaha. fucking love it to the max!!!! omg!!! why didnt i discover this colour sooner! ahahah!
so, saturday was supposed to stay home.. i packed my room, arranged my wardrobe, FINALLY sorted my accessories drawer (after how many months of procrastinating!) - now, earrings and bangles are on the table, necklaces, shades and other random accessories in the drawer.. [: then at night, chantel jio-ed me to go drinking! WOOTS! how to say no to hoegarden?!!?! so i walked to paya lebar mrt cus i heard there was traffic jam at comex. so i walked to the mrt. wanted to meet nei, who was doing survey at tanjong katong shopping centre. lol! but in the end didnt. with the blue nails, short skirt, tank top, red shoes, thick eyeliner, spammed mascara, and walking along joo chiat after sun set makes me feel like a whore. there was this cheeko uncle who smiled at me. scary.. i'll never do that again. i'll at least take a bus next time. so anyway, headed to boat quay, saw some new pubs, but decided to try the backlane once again where eskibar, bedroom bar were. bedroom bar's gone and soo much changes to there. we discovered this new bar, i dun remember the name, but its really fucking chic. i guess its a new bar but its awesome! great music, little crowd. so very good for bonding session. but we missed happy hour by 1 minute. gahhh! wasted. oh well. the DJ's name was DJ romeo! hahaha! funny. was this indian dude, but the songs were not bad. so caught up with chantel about her life, and then my life and then all the random things. silence in between was comfortable, as usual. we got a little bored and chantel felt like eating buffalo wings from clarke quay, so we headed there instead. we wanted to go mama's carribean, but ZOMG. it shut down. ]: but, its spot was taken over by this pub called Seven inch! i tell u, its fucking awesome! i think, better than mama's. why? well,
1. the interior is wayyy better. its those raw bricks kinda deco. its the kind of decor i want for my apartment if i ever ever shift out! plus, the glow-in-the-dark graffitti was awesome.
2. no more scandily-dressed fillipinowhores girls walking around to chat up old angmoh men. last time, lol, even those with tummies and cellulite were wearing miniskirt and walking around. chantel and i guessed that they all got retrenched. X: hahaha.
3. no more corny and cheesy chacha dance by those girls anymore. now its pole dance. though we feel that they are relatively unskilled (eg, they only can rub their arse against the pole but can't climb up and slide upside down the pole), but its wayyyyyy better than those cheesy dance.
4. the crowd gets younger and better. last time, we can see just some old angmoh men scattered around, while being chatted up by those girls. but now, we see groups of young ppl coming in! good for them!
hopefully they'll last. there wasn't much changes though. the arrangements still the same.. just the decor. but the experience on sat night was SO HILARIOUS! cus, the big group of people were seated behind. me and chantel were just sitting at the bar ... very near the poles. then, the girls started to dance and well, we were kinda the only ones watching. there were a few couples around.. but guess the guys were too humji to look up ba. the girls shorts were to short, u can see their butt cheeks flowing out of the pants lor. hahah! then somemore, got seats in front which will entitle guys to a very very good up-skirt view. confirm can see the cheebye if they looked properly. i think those girls felt damn awkward cus, well, we werent their target audience. but they still v hiong. but me and chantel gf were more interested in the funny hitler video they put up on the TVs. lol! then got this angmoh guy, think about 40s.. was like sitting near us.. then he was like saying "WOAH". not sure at what, maybe the pole dancing. then he signalled for me and chantel to sit beside him. lol. then i pointed to the pole-dancing girls. lol. then he went to sit at the good seat. LOL! cheeko. sigh. i miss david horne! thats where me and reg met him. David Horne - perfect stranger to meet at a pub lo! hahaha. [: after a vodka lime and heinekein, we left. gahh, pubbing's rlly an expensive activity! gahh. i think i spent $50 in a night.
yesterday was supposed to stay home also and got jio-ed by lorraine! yipee! havent seen her in ages lor! super duper miss her. but it was all deja vu cus we did the exact same things the last time we met. went to Tam's. well, i did say i wanted to get a new hairstyle. but i havent decided what to do yet leh. no inspiration! so i just did hair treatment to my frizzy, san-san hair. $50! siann... i wanted to do scalp treatment also .. but.. i guess another time ba! plus, i wanted to dye hair, but i need to be loyal to jenzson, my other hairdresser at FEP. hahaha. i promised to go his shop to dye my hair. so yup. plus, i feel.... i prefer his style of cutting leh. i dunno. but auntie tam is like, an old friend like that! but she dishes good advices for my hair. at first yesterday, my hair felt sooo good after the treatment. all un-frizzy and soft and bouncy. then today, after i washed it, BAM, back to the same frizzy fuzzy hair. but its definitely feeling less damaged. lorr got a new hairdo also. hahah! after that, had astons. saw daddy there. and he gave us his two cents worth on what he thought of the govt, which i've already heard before! haha. but he's really influential. cus he came in just as lorr was gossipping about her friend's stuff. and when my dad left, we felt infuriated with some stuff that was un-gossipy, un-girly. hahaha! eventually, we just got back to the gossips and catching up. super love her. then we headed to 313 once again! F21-ed. gah! i swear, once u become used to being broke, the mentality just sinks in. i took stuff to try and i felt one of the vest was okay, the material felt good. gahhhh! but it was $45. in the past, $45 was nothing. and for a vest, its ok. and in the more RECENT past, $45 shopping money was ALOT. i didn't even have $45 excess shopping money for months lor. ]: then now, $45 on a vest is within my spending limit, but NO. i felt tooo heart pain to buy it. so i actually left f21 EMPTY HANDED! GAHH. madness leh! wtf is wrong with me. and right, the initial stuff that i wanted to try were ALL BASICS! i knew this day would come!! the day i become so crazy, i become boring! luckily along the way, i took more dressy stuff. yeah. and the fancier side of my fashion sense has become FEMININE! im really nutcase. i tried this flowy material blouse which i actually liked. but i didnt get cus.. heart pain? yeah. i've matured for sure! gahhh. shit.
but when we went cotton on, i bought a pair of black shorts and this, cropped tee. lol! that cropped tee was bought on impulse. LOL! kinda regret now. hahaha. but its really comfy. i guess on days i have my period and feel fucking pregnant, i can wear that to school ... haha. lorraine also got a cropped tee. super love to help her with shopping stuff!! then headed to zara, where i got a belt. sigh! what happened to Zara's "ladies causal wear" section?!?! its like, looking soo formal that i thought we were at the wrong level. humph. and at zara, the same old thing happened to lorraine as it did the last time we met up. hahaha. someone has an admirer! hahah.. ok la. won't tease her already now that she's pretty unhappy about it. heeeee. then we headed to food republic for teppanyaki! well, after one FUCKING BAD experience at the teppanyaki at wisma's food republic, we swore to never visit another food court's teppanyaki. but we were so tempted, we just went. it was good. looooooooooooooooooved the mushrooms. omg. -quoted from Stewie- its practically orgasmic! haahahha! then after that, headed to Scape to buy red mango's yogurt. omg. i really loooooooooove red mango's yogurt. damn fucking naise. that time tried it with daniel fang! omggggg. so hooked to it leh! how? and i dun really like yogurt to begin with but that. is. delicious. ttm.
after that, headed home... i wanted to shower but they were showing evan almighty on channel 5. it has all my favourite actors in one show! Lauren Graham (evan's wife. she's lorelai from gilmore girls) and Steven Carrell (the office!).then after that, me and bro just kept youtubing fam guy! then went to shower and we watched fam guy on my itouch! so awesome!!! watched till 12.30am then i went to bed. awesome awesome weekends! though i had only 6.5 hours of sleep, i feel soooo energetic and happy today! WEEEE~~
remember i set out some stuff to do on friday? (refer to friday's blogpost) i actually did one of those things. thats a good start! hahah! okie, i wanna blog about some thoughts in the next post. i love fulfilling weekends that adds meaning to my life. afterall, that was the last weekends im gonna be spending as a nineteen year old. and it was AWESOME! [:
was supposed to have dinner with family on friday night but in the end, hong choo asked us out, so we headed to sushi tei for dinner instead! ~suki yaki~ super loves siah. went for a little shopping spree first. hahahaha. then met up with them! was awesome to hang out with them, never fail to make me laugh. plus hongchoo spilled water all over the table! ahhaa .. damn cute. heard about her NTU life. well, i guess, i only have myself to blame for not being able to walk in that path. guess i'll only get to hear the goodness of it. ahahha. but it sounds so damn fun and interesting coming out of hongchoo's mouth!! haha! anyway, so at the shopping spree, i bought these 3 nail polish which was sparkly dark blue, nude and transparent. so when i reached home, which was 11pm and i havent even showered, i tried the nude color on my thumbnail. then i decided to try the blue one on my index finger nail. LOL! i fucking fell in love with that colour. its damn.... FUCKING SEXAYE! its just, one of the more daring colours i've applied on my nail thus far!! then i just got soooooooo addicted to that colour, i painted all my nails, and have to wait till 12.30am to shower. hahaha. fucking love it to the max!!!! omg!!! why didnt i discover this colour sooner! ahahah!
so, saturday was supposed to stay home.. i packed my room, arranged my wardrobe, FINALLY sorted my accessories drawer (after how many months of procrastinating!) - now, earrings and bangles are on the table, necklaces, shades and other random accessories in the drawer.. [: then at night, chantel jio-ed me to go drinking! WOOTS! how to say no to hoegarden?!!?! so i walked to paya lebar mrt cus i heard there was traffic jam at comex. so i walked to the mrt. wanted to meet nei, who was doing survey at tanjong katong shopping centre. lol! but in the end didnt. with the blue nails, short skirt, tank top, red shoes, thick eyeliner, spammed mascara, and walking along joo chiat after sun set makes me feel like a whore. there was this cheeko uncle who smiled at me. scary.. i'll never do that again. i'll at least take a bus next time. so anyway, headed to boat quay, saw some new pubs, but decided to try the backlane once again where eskibar, bedroom bar were. bedroom bar's gone and soo much changes to there. we discovered this new bar, i dun remember the name, but its really fucking chic. i guess its a new bar but its awesome! great music, little crowd. so very good for bonding session. but we missed happy hour by 1 minute. gahhh! wasted. oh well. the DJ's name was DJ romeo! hahaha! funny. was this indian dude, but the songs were not bad. so caught up with chantel about her life, and then my life and then all the random things. silence in between was comfortable, as usual. we got a little bored and chantel felt like eating buffalo wings from clarke quay, so we headed there instead. we wanted to go mama's carribean, but ZOMG. it shut down. ]: but, its spot was taken over by this pub called Seven inch! i tell u, its fucking awesome! i think, better than mama's. why? well,
1. the interior is wayyy better. its those raw bricks kinda deco. its the kind of decor i want for my apartment if i ever ever shift out! plus, the glow-in-the-dark graffitti was awesome.
2. no more scandily-dressed fillipino
3. no more corny and cheesy chacha dance by those girls anymore. now its pole dance. though we feel that they are relatively unskilled (eg, they only can rub their arse against the pole but can't climb up and slide upside down the pole), but its wayyyyyy better than those cheesy dance.
4. the crowd gets younger and better. last time, we can see just some old angmoh men scattered around, while being chatted up by those girls. but now, we see groups of young ppl coming in! good for them!
hopefully they'll last. there wasn't much changes though. the arrangements still the same.. just the decor. but the experience on sat night was SO HILARIOUS! cus, the big group of people were seated behind. me and chantel were just sitting at the bar ... very near the poles. then, the girls started to dance and well, we were kinda the only ones watching. there were a few couples around.. but guess the guys were too humji to look up ba. the girls shorts were to short, u can see their butt cheeks flowing out of the pants lor. hahah! then somemore, got seats in front which will entitle guys to a very very good up-skirt view. confirm can see the cheebye if they looked properly. i think those girls felt damn awkward cus, well, we werent their target audience. but they still v hiong. but me and chantel gf were more interested in the funny hitler video they put up on the TVs. lol! then got this angmoh guy, think about 40s.. was like sitting near us.. then he was like saying "WOAH". not sure at what, maybe the pole dancing. then he signalled for me and chantel to sit beside him. lol. then i pointed to the pole-dancing girls. lol. then he went to sit at the good seat. LOL! cheeko. sigh. i miss david horne! thats where me and reg met him. David Horne - perfect stranger to meet at a pub lo! hahaha. [: after a vodka lime and heinekein, we left. gahh, pubbing's rlly an expensive activity! gahh. i think i spent $50 in a night.
yesterday was supposed to stay home also and got jio-ed by lorraine! yipee! havent seen her in ages lor! super duper miss her. but it was all deja vu cus we did the exact same things the last time we met. went to Tam's. well, i did say i wanted to get a new hairstyle. but i havent decided what to do yet leh. no inspiration! so i just did hair treatment to my frizzy, san-san hair. $50! siann... i wanted to do scalp treatment also .. but.. i guess another time ba! plus, i wanted to dye hair, but i need to be loyal to jenzson, my other hairdresser at FEP. hahaha. i promised to go his shop to dye my hair. so yup. plus, i feel.... i prefer his style of cutting leh. i dunno. but auntie tam is like, an old friend like that! but she dishes good advices for my hair. at first yesterday, my hair felt sooo good after the treatment. all un-frizzy and soft and bouncy. then today, after i washed it, BAM, back to the same frizzy fuzzy hair. but its definitely feeling less damaged. lorr got a new hairdo also. hahah! after that, had astons. saw daddy there. and he gave us his two cents worth on what he thought of the govt, which i've already heard before! haha. but he's really influential. cus he came in just as lorr was gossipping about her friend's stuff. and when my dad left, we felt infuriated with some stuff that was un-gossipy, un-girly. hahaha! eventually, we just got back to the gossips and catching up. super love her. then we headed to 313 once again! F21-ed. gah! i swear, once u become used to being broke, the mentality just sinks in. i took stuff to try and i felt one of the vest was okay, the material felt good. gahhhh! but it was $45. in the past, $45 was nothing. and for a vest, its ok. and in the more RECENT past, $45 shopping money was ALOT. i didn't even have $45 excess shopping money for months lor. ]: then now, $45 on a vest is within my spending limit, but NO. i felt tooo heart pain to buy it. so i actually left f21 EMPTY HANDED! GAHH. madness leh! wtf is wrong with me. and right, the initial stuff that i wanted to try were ALL BASICS! i knew this day would come!! the day i become so crazy, i become boring! luckily along the way, i took more dressy stuff. yeah. and the fancier side of my fashion sense has become FEMININE! im really nutcase. i tried this flowy material blouse which i actually liked. but i didnt get cus.. heart pain? yeah. i've matured for sure! gahhh. shit.
but when we went cotton on, i bought a pair of black shorts and this, cropped tee. lol! that cropped tee was bought on impulse. LOL! kinda regret now. hahaha. but its really comfy. i guess on days i have my period and feel fucking pregnant, i can wear that to school ... haha. lorraine also got a cropped tee. super love to help her with shopping stuff!! then headed to zara, where i got a belt. sigh! what happened to Zara's "ladies causal wear" section?!?! its like, looking soo formal that i thought we were at the wrong level. humph. and at zara, the same old thing happened to lorraine as it did the last time we met up. hahaha. someone has an admirer! hahah.. ok la. won't tease her already now that she's pretty unhappy about it. heeeee. then we headed to food republic for teppanyaki! well, after one FUCKING BAD experience at the teppanyaki at wisma's food republic, we swore to never visit another food court's teppanyaki. but we were so tempted, we just went. it was good. looooooooooooooooooved the mushrooms. omg. -quoted from Stewie- its practically orgasmic! haahahha! then after that, headed to Scape to buy red mango's yogurt. omg. i really loooooooooove red mango's yogurt. damn fucking naise. that time tried it with daniel fang! omggggg. so hooked to it leh! how? and i dun really like yogurt to begin with but that. is. delicious. ttm.
after that, headed home... i wanted to shower but they were showing evan almighty on channel 5. it has all my favourite actors in one show! Lauren Graham (evan's wife. she's lorelai from gilmore girls) and Steven Carrell (the office!).then after that, me and bro just kept youtubing fam guy! then went to shower and we watched fam guy on my itouch! so awesome!!! watched till 12.30am then i went to bed. awesome awesome weekends! though i had only 6.5 hours of sleep, i feel soooo energetic and happy today! WEEEE~~
remember i set out some stuff to do on friday? (refer to friday's blogpost) i actually did one of those things. thats a good start! hahah! okie, i wanna blog about some thoughts in the next post. i love fulfilling weekends that adds meaning to my life. afterall, that was the last weekends im gonna be spending as a nineteen year old. and it was AWESOME! [:
Friday, September 3, 2010
TGIF again!
its friday again! honestly, this week has been really good. today's good too. managed to hit my quota. Canada's really quiet today with sharad taking half day leave, aaron gone and gerard on 3 days leave. i've decided to make a change once again. i've been taking life too easy these couple of months.. simply sticking to my status quo, just resting and lazing around on my weekends. school's about to start in a couple of weeks and this is gonna be the last time im going to be studying proper and i need to straighten things out around my life. room's getting very messy, bedsheets left unchanged, wardrobe left messed up, bookshelves all over the place. i just sorted my own grooming out last night, waxed hairy legs, shaved armpits, did legs, hairmasked my hair.. i feel like a normal human being again. haha. as in, without all that done, i feel worse than tarzan, like really..
things to do to straighten life out:
1. clear bookshelf in preparation of school
2. change bedsheets before school starts
3. replenish stationery
4. pack wardrobe. maybe do some organising
5. vacuum (maybe 2 more weeks time?)
changes i wanna try:
1. get a different hair style. god knows how long i've been having the bangs+bob hairdo! i need a change
2. my hair colour is dull. i did it dark coloured because of grad day and uss. so time to brighten it up
3. get treatment for my dried and spoiled hair
4. try to get monthly contacts again
5. experiment a new makeup style.. hmmm....
6. start exercising 3 times a week
7. start watching a new tv series from scratch (im actually starting the big bang theory. haha. its damn funny)
8. hopefully can get itouch4 before school starts!
9. wanna finish my jodi picoult book soon!
my life's pretty much on track these days. im sleeping before 12. waking up when everyone else does. i eat breakfast. i feel useful cus i contribute t the economy. for once, i no longer need to say im broke.. hehe! my social life is pretty good. meeting up with close friends. [: yeah. im contented. haha. just now during lunch, me, kevin, hsin ming, serene, jen kaen were talking about aging, life, death, politics. im always intrigued enough to talk about these kinda stuff. but working for the ministry and talking about politics in the pantry isn't a very smart move. oh well. we're gonna close the survey this tues. i hope it'll still be pretty slackable leh. hahaha. ok. TGIF once again! hopefully everyone will have a good weekend! i need to sort things out.
things to do to straighten life out:
1. clear bookshelf in preparation of school
2. change bedsheets before school starts
3. replenish stationery
4. pack wardrobe. maybe do some organising
5. vacuum (maybe 2 more weeks time?)
changes i wanna try:
1. get a different hair style. god knows how long i've been having the bangs+bob hairdo! i need a change
2. my hair colour is dull. i did it dark coloured because of grad day and uss. so time to brighten it up
3. get treatment for my dried and spoiled hair
4. try to get monthly contacts again
5. experiment a new makeup style.. hmmm....
6. start exercising 3 times a week
7. start watching a new tv series from scratch (im actually starting the big bang theory. haha. its damn funny)
8. hopefully can get itouch4 before school starts!
9. wanna finish my jodi picoult book soon!
my life's pretty much on track these days. im sleeping before 12. waking up when everyone else does. i eat breakfast. i feel useful cus i contribute t the economy. for once, i no longer need to say im broke.. hehe! my social life is pretty good. meeting up with close friends. [: yeah. im contented. haha. just now during lunch, me, kevin, hsin ming, serene, jen kaen were talking about aging, life, death, politics. im always intrigued enough to talk about these kinda stuff. but working for the ministry and talking about politics in the pantry isn't a very smart move. oh well. we're gonna close the survey this tues. i hope it'll still be pretty slackable leh. hahaha. ok. TGIF once again! hopefully everyone will have a good weekend! i need to sort things out.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Shopaholic shirley IS BACK!!
yeah. the title says it all.bloody start to the day. i wonder, if i don't get pregnant, will i be menstruating and going through all these pain and sufferings in vain?
have been a bit busy past couple of nights. met up with reggie for sakae sushi dinner at tiong bahru on tuesday night. was naise chatting up. hahhaha. hmm... and last night met up with the girls and huiwen! so longggg since i met her. abit awkward initially but i feel she hasnt changed much! hahaha. but yeah, we kept talking about the past. hmmm... yup.. i love the fish from astons. feel like having it tonight but gonna eat steamboat with colleagues.
sigh. bro and mum going Shanghai. gosh! i would loveee to go shanghai. but they're going for like 4 school days leh. im not sure how the system is like yet, plus im going to have 2 modules without friends. so, i dont think i can afford it... sigh! as in, its too risky. especially after the panick attack for econs, theres no way im gonna risk it again. so ya. but shanghai! its the place i would most wanna visit in China!! i feel its so.... sophisticated. GAH!
ever since i got the extra money, i've been shopping. finally got stuff from modcloth. i tell u, i regretted the instant i clicked confirm. i just realised the heftiness of the shipping fee! omg! well, i wont reveal it here, but its an amount enough to splurge with satisfaction in F21. and yeah, last night spent almost $200 on toiletries and beauty stuff which i have been putting off for the past couple of months cus of me being broke. but boy, did it feel soooooooooooooooooooo good splurging, even if its at watsons! god knows how long ago i buy things i WANT and not just need. i MUST splurge at f21 and toppie this month. bday month RULES! bday month + having-alot-of-extra-income month totally rocks my boat. i haven't felt sooo.... happy (in the area of shopping) in MONTHS! but of course, i will put a portion into my london funds before i ... -rubs hands- go SHOPPPPINGGG!!! but then, this year, im gonna learn from past years. i'm not going to splurge on things i like on the spot. i will think about it then go back, unless i've already been desiring for a long time. ZOMG! i can't wait to go shopping. omg!!! and since school is starting, im gonna dye hair and also get new stationery as well!
i know, alot of u reading my blog have seen the days where i only have $5 in my savings account. and you must be shaking your head at the above paragraph. and yes, i do know your kind intentions. i promise not to buy on impulse la. i mean, shopping HAS ALWAYS been a HUGE part of my life. i guess its there to fill the void where love, relationships should be at. i guess its this because usually when i feel that im in love, i seldom shop. haha. and vice versa. but going around shops, looking at trends, looking at the beautiful prints/ designs/ fabric/ accessories/ shoes/ furniture/ random cute stuff is like an instinct for me. i just need to do that. i just love the feeling of getting what i like/ want! ahahaha. but then, after going through the feeling of being broke and scrimping and just.. walking away from all these goddamnit beautiful things which i want, it reduces the shopaholic in me to dwarf size. i guess people call that growing up. i loook more for the quality rather than quantity. i look more for love for the item rather than just wanting it. furthermore, nowadays (apart from the recent modcloth spree), i will look at the item/s and decide if its worth giving up travelling for! hahaha. yeah. its a good motivation. but damn! i need new clothes and nice shoes! hahah!
and also, recently, i gotta know this girl called Serene from MOM. she knows how to groom dogs, she has her own online shop and shes also in uol. i've been looking at part time courses and i might wanna pick up a new skill. and to do so, i need the money. im looking more at the arts side. well, no one knows this, but i secretly have always wanted to know if i have the potential in interior design. hahaa. i know la, its silly. hmm, i dont know la. wanting and doing it is 2 different matters. so, just exploring my options. haha.
yup. hmmm, feels good to blog. the office is god damn quiet. and im so sick of getting scolded day in day out. sigh! as much as i wished this would all end, i wished it wouldn't. i dont wanna go to school. sigh!
anyway, i feel that i have quite a lot of feelings for him still. oh well. better to not dwell into the "forbidden" area of life! hahaa. okay la, im gonna shit. tummy damn pain. hahaha. maybe will blog later. fuck my work. gahhh!
have been a bit busy past couple of nights. met up with reggie for sakae sushi dinner at tiong bahru on tuesday night. was naise chatting up. hahhaha. hmm... and last night met up with the girls and huiwen! so longggg since i met her. abit awkward initially but i feel she hasnt changed much! hahaha. but yeah, we kept talking about the past. hmmm... yup.. i love the fish from astons. feel like having it tonight but gonna eat steamboat with colleagues.
sigh. bro and mum going Shanghai. gosh! i would loveee to go shanghai. but they're going for like 4 school days leh. im not sure how the system is like yet, plus im going to have 2 modules without friends. so, i dont think i can afford it... sigh! as in, its too risky. especially after the panick attack for econs, theres no way im gonna risk it again. so ya. but shanghai! its the place i would most wanna visit in China!! i feel its so.... sophisticated. GAH!
ever since i got the extra money, i've been shopping. finally got stuff from modcloth. i tell u, i regretted the instant i clicked confirm. i just realised the heftiness of the shipping fee! omg! well, i wont reveal it here, but its an amount enough to splurge with satisfaction in F21. and yeah, last night spent almost $200 on toiletries and beauty stuff which i have been putting off for the past couple of months cus of me being broke. but boy, did it feel soooooooooooooooooooo good splurging, even if its at watsons! god knows how long ago i buy things i WANT and not just need. i MUST splurge at f21 and toppie this month. bday month RULES! bday month + having-alot-of-extra-income month totally rocks my boat. i haven't felt sooo.... happy (in the area of shopping) in MONTHS! but of course, i will put a portion into my london funds before i ... -rubs hands- go SHOPPPPINGGG!!! but then, this year, im gonna learn from past years. i'm not going to splurge on things i like on the spot. i will think about it then go back, unless i've already been desiring for a long time. ZOMG! i can't wait to go shopping. omg!!! and since school is starting, im gonna dye hair and also get new stationery as well!
i know, alot of u reading my blog have seen the days where i only have $5 in my savings account. and you must be shaking your head at the above paragraph. and yes, i do know your kind intentions. i promise not to buy on impulse la. i mean, shopping HAS ALWAYS been a HUGE part of my life. i guess its there to fill the void where love, relationships should be at. i guess its this because usually when i feel that im in love, i seldom shop. haha. and vice versa. but going around shops, looking at trends, looking at the beautiful prints/ designs/ fabric/ accessories/ shoes/ furniture/ random cute stuff is like an instinct for me. i just need to do that. i just love the feeling of getting what i like/ want! ahahaha. but then, after going through the feeling of being broke and scrimping and just.. walking away from all these goddamnit beautiful things which i want, it reduces the shopaholic in me to dwarf size. i guess people call that growing up. i loook more for the quality rather than quantity. i look more for love for the item rather than just wanting it. furthermore, nowadays (apart from the recent modcloth spree), i will look at the item/s and decide if its worth giving up travelling for! hahaha. yeah. its a good motivation. but damn! i need new clothes and nice shoes! hahah!
and also, recently, i gotta know this girl called Serene from MOM. she knows how to groom dogs, she has her own online shop and shes also in uol. i've been looking at part time courses and i might wanna pick up a new skill. and to do so, i need the money. im looking more at the arts side. well, no one knows this, but i secretly have always wanted to know if i have the potential in interior design. hahaa. i know la, its silly. hmm, i dont know la. wanting and doing it is 2 different matters. so, just exploring my options. haha.
yup. hmmm, feels good to blog. the office is god damn quiet. and im so sick of getting scolded day in day out. sigh! as much as i wished this would all end, i wished it wouldn't. i dont wanna go to school. sigh!
anyway, i feel that i have quite a lot of feelings for him still. oh well. better to not dwell into the "forbidden" area of life! hahaa. okay la, im gonna shit. tummy damn pain. hahaha. maybe will blog later. fuck my work. gahhh!
Wishlist yet again
Heyhey. ever since i got my pay, i've been fantasizing the stuff i'd buy. somemore ish my BIRTHDAY MONTH! so alot of the shops which i have membership to have special discounts for birthdays!! sigh! like ytd, cus watsons giving 5x the points for first purchase for bday.. i bought $140 worth of toiletries for the month. or even 2 months. basically make the best use. i think i've accumulated enough points to get a free shampoo. i keep my points in case im too broke to buy shampoo/ p.liners or any necessary toiletries .. i can get them at a discount or for free.. anyway heres my wishlist from f21. ohhh fuck. i want to shop until i drop at f21!
this feels like something i can find from Princess Diana's jewelry box!
very classic uh! like something from audrey hepburn..
this isn't really very me, but fuck. i love it!
chio ring!!!
i wanna find this ring!!!
this is fucking cleopatra!!!!
i loooooove this!!!!
how cool and sexy is this sweater!!
think the skirt looks good. but i think it'll be unflattering on me tho..
the vest's really nice!!! i feel like getting a knitted vest. reminds me of julia roberts!
the dress is super super classy...! but again, i feel it'll make me look pregnant!
i dont rlly like the colour. but then again, its a change from black..
very .... rory gilmore!!
this feels like something i can find from Princess Diana's jewelry box!
very classic uh! like something from audrey hepburn..
this isn't really very me, but fuck. i love it!
chio ring!!!
i wanna find this ring!!!
this is fucking cleopatra!!!!
i loooooove this!!!!
how cool and sexy is this sweater!!
think the skirt looks good. but i think it'll be unflattering on me tho..
the vest's really nice!!! i feel like getting a knitted vest. reminds me of julia roberts!
the dress is super super classy...! but again, i feel it'll make me look pregnant!
i dont rlly like the colour. but then again, its a change from black..
very .... rory gilmore!!
ok, gonna blog proper in the next post!
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