wanderluster at work: jiangnan, china. 2010

Shanghai trip - Day 1: 18 December 2010

1715: well, currently on the plane. Had nice coffee with daddy before flying off. Sigh. Im gnna miss him for sure. Miss the times he will cut fruits and force us to eat. :) he's gonna be a bachelor boy for 10 days. I have a hweeling he's been waiting for these 10 days for a while. I think i would if i were a parent. I mean, being single for so long, i'd miss spinsterhood. But well, dont even think i'll be in a relationship let alone get married or have children. Ok. Taking off soon. Hahaha. shanghai, here i comee.. Wanderluster at work!

2040: well, still on the plane. Finished watching despicable me and listening to 2ne1 in the plane! Shioook. Hahaha. Well, just now when the plane took off, i swore that i was so happy, im like... Smiling from ear to ear. I truly felt like a wanderluster. My tattoo felt like it was glowing. I had singapore sling and a red wine just now. Nice to have some booze in my blood. Feeling kinda sleepy now. The sky outside now is pitchblack. I really love taking the plane. I kinda hope the next time i take the plane, it would be to london. Haha. A few thoughts came by my head. I wanna be the kind of person who knows what is going on. For years, i've led a life where people held my hand and told me what to do and i did. I never really truly knew what goes on until its over. But when i came to uni, i realised that i had to do things on my own. At first it was exciting. why wouldn't it be? But slowly, as the excitement wore off and it becomes a routine thing, i got tired. Tired of keeping up with the things in my life. So the moment i made friends, they held my hands again and i fell back. In my family, i'm the most igorant of all. even my younger brother, he had to tell me whats going on. I want to take control. I can't do this anymore.. Im turning 21. i've always thought that im doing things my way. But i didnt realise the number of hands that have held mine all these while. Its time. Okay. i'll make it start with this shanghai trip. I'll make sure i know what happens, instead of only being mesmerised by the sights i see. I wanna be a smart traveller. Ohgosh. Writing on a plane feels good. Though its night .. But it feels amazing being on a plane. Till today, though we live in a place where borders are invisible and diminishing, it still surprises me how planes can do such amazing thing as taking us up to the sky. Where its so high, no one would probably have imagined we could reach. Everytime i took a bus to school and i look up, it seem so far away. And right now, this second, im on a plane. Being carried to one of the biggest cities in china. :) suddenly, i've left that fucked up little dot i felt suffocated. I feel free. I always forget how big the world is when im in singapore. Haha. And i was browsing through the music and they have 'an airplane carried me to bed' the album by sky sailing. The moment the plane took off, i just kept thinking of the lyrics, "take me to the skies" :) yay! Ok. Shall enjoy my inflight entertainment. Watching "josie and the pussycat dolls" now. Hahah. I bought archie comics yesterday. It shows the ending.. Like what happens if archie married betty and what happens if archie married veronica. Hahahah. $20 for 6 copies. But worth it. Yay! Okay. V cosy now!

2130: i wanted to take a quick nap but im still too happy to nap. So i decided to just see where we are. IM IN THE STARS!!! I sound sooo silly. Like a little girl! But omg. I was looking outside and i was surrounded with stars. This is better than any good movies. I feel happy. So blessed. So thankful. I wanna take a picture of this with my memory. :)

2155- 250 miles more to shanghai.. Mmm.. really was so lost in the stars. What a gorgeous sight. I feel like a little girl. Hahah. I must stop thinking of him.

Shanghai trip - Day 2: 19 December 2010

1145 - leisure hotel, puxi.
Last night was.. Agonizing. Reached the hotel room, washed up.. then i decided to do some homework. So did until around 2.30am. Then decided to sleep. Omfuckinghell. It was so cold. I reealllyy have a very low tolerance for coldness. I wore 2 sweaters and a tee and track pants and socks and gloves and i covered 2 thick blankets. And i was still shivering. Took me, hours to sleep? Because i could distinctively hear my mum wake up and stuff. Woke up freezing and honestly, in a bad shape. Skin is so dry its faking. And well, my legs are itching up, like when i was in aus. Well, i was taking my extremely hot shower but i was still freezing. An analogy came up. Something about my life!

what i came up with: "its 10 degrees here in the morning and i really didnt wanna take off my clothes. I didnt wanna enter the shower because i know it would be warm, but when i come out, it will be colder than when i entered. I dreaded the cold. So i took my time to brush my teeth and when the moment arrived, i looked in the mirror and see my reflection - mad hair, flaky skin, visible eyebags. I looked very ugly. So i turned the water on first and knowing its warm, i entered the moment i was un-clothed. And it was soooo goood. gosh. I didnt wanna ever leave it. Its so fuzzy! but after i was done, its time to leave. I really dont wanna leave the shower! But can i stay in the shower forever? In that protected warmth? No. I can't. So i forced myself to come out, shivering, chattering and hopping about because it was so fucking freezing. Then i dried myself, wore the turtle neck first and i immediately felt a whole lot better. I wore the rest of my clothes (panda tee today, just felt the need to wear a panda tee in china to show that im china-lovin?) and then applied moisturizer and makeup and blewdry my hair and then i looked good! Like normal. ok.

So in my life, before i met him, i was me before i entered the shower. when i entered this thing with him, im like entering into the shower. So warm. So fuzzy. Giving me warmth when im so freezing. So comfortable! Making me feel so lucky that im in it. And then when its over, im out of the shower. worse than i entered. Shivering, chattering. But in real life, im sad, pathetic, down, needy. I just needed to wear my clothes, apply moisturizer and put my makeup, which is the phase im in when im in shanghai.. And hopefully, when im back in singapore, i wanna be good as new. Be better than when i started and even before before i entered the shower."

Very very real leh, i feel! Hahah. I love it when i think like this. Okay. Im hungry, hopefully we can have food soon.

1315: 万达 mall
just had lunch at this restaurant in the mall. Not exactly experiencing their culture but their 腊肉饭 is fantastic. Mmmm. And also, salted egg yolk fried with tofu. Mmm. The service is rlly good cus i just realise that the chinese are quite picky. the table beside us kept making a fuss. hmm, perhaps it is international that every country has its fair share of fuckedup customers.

1620- still at the mall.
Have a couple of hours to kill since we're only supposed to meet at 2030 at the hotel. My folks wanna rest, so i decide to walk about. well, do you know whats globalisation? i just heard justin bieber at the shop i was at. Haha. Currently at a bookstore. Look at the nerd in me. Hahah! The nerd in me CANNOT resist the really pretty notebooks on sale. Ohgosh. I can die in this notebook(paper kind. Nt laptop) paradiseeee!

1710: still in bookstore. omg. The geek in me is international. Okay, so im reading this book called "在20岁懂得9件事" and theres this phrase in the book that said, "好的爱情，让我们通过对方能看到世界。 坏的爱情，让我们通过对方看到自己" hmmm. Very food for thought. Anyway if you're a bookworm here, its heaven. Loads of bookworms around and they just hover around the shelves for hours without moving. Its a common thing here. Shiok. Plus, got 'pretty woman' playing in the background. Hahah. Okie. Back to my heaven.

1730- still reading the same book. Fucking good, i tell u. We always laugh at them, look at the kind of inspiration they give us, at only sgd6! "人生是一个漫长而短暂的过程。 在这样的一个过程里，想象如果真的完全遗失了自己，成为了我们不认识的一个人，那多么可悲可叹呢!我们可一脆弱，但我们要在脆弱中成长。我们可以依靠，可 是我们要学会在依靠中独力。"

1755 - back at the restaurant we ate for lunch. Yay! 腊味蒸饭!hahah. Fuck. Gonna gain weight to the max.

2115- well, currently in the bus at pudong airport waiting for a new group of tour members to arrive. Gonna take about an hour or so, so shall blog abit. to be honest, he comes into my head alot. Especially since this trip dont have lorraine they all and in my group for today, we only have 3 of plus this mother and daughter - cecilia and claudia. So im left to my thoughts alot. And there are ALOT of couples in china. perhaps, this time i really really invested alot of feelings unknowingly.. Well, at least i gave it my all (gullibly) while i was at it. So im paying for it. I've been alone for so long and only recently in my life that i started meeting guys and being in all these mess. I wished i could go back to the days where the closest thing i could have with a guy was just a simple crush where my head would just play out harmless fantasies and i would still be happy and not have to go through this. Im very stupid, i feel. I wouldn't say i miss him but im thinking of him so much and i think he's probably off meeting new girls on that website. So stupid. i was actually thinking of, how do i love myself? What does it mean? when i think of how i 'really liked' a guy, what would i do? And am i doing it to myself? (pls dont think sexually). Hmm. When i like a guy, i want him to lead the life he leads and be happy. I want to see him succeed, but as long as he feels he's happy, i feel okay too. Even if his definition of success isn't in sync with mine. Hmm. i spend time with him, when im with him, im with him and doing nth else. When we go out, i sometimes do things he wants and vice versa. hmmm. Im slowly wriggling out. Okay. I havent had a lot of me time eh. I mean, i keep filling my time with people, chores, being online, but not with myself like i would with him or my friends. Okay. Next year's resolution, im going to make sure that at least 2 days a month, its going to me doing things i wanna do. With me. goodie. I want to exercise twice a week also. And have one day where its detox day. Like, no toxin, but full day of fruits and veggies just to clear my system. I truly don't wanna think about boys next year. But u see, i've been single for so long, i always oogle at boys and have random eyecandies. And somehow, in the past 2 years or so, i quite honestly can say that my mind's constantly filled with one guy... Just that it hasnt been the same. And they're of different significance. Okay. I'll give it a go. Next year, im turning 21. Need to brush up on alot of skills. Perhaps, learn french language too. Or go for courses. Or even do yoga again. Hmm. Just now the book i was reading really made alot of sense. Fuck! im coming back again on sunday. Shall hang out in the bookstore once again. Mmmm.. :) alright la. I shall listen to my music and rest.. Tomorrow's going to be rush lor. have to leave hotel by 7fucking30am! Just now was rushing tutorials in the hotel lobby. Sighhhh. Progress q slow. Stay strong shirley! i really how people come in and out of relationships so quickly. Well, for a girl with love luck like this, i really shouldn't dwell too much i guess. hmm. how?? How to love oneself? Big big question mark. Okay la. Shall write somemore tmr.. Am loving the chilly weather here. But fingers so cold that they're stiff. Haha. zooming off!

Shanghai trip - Day 3: 20 december 2010

0000: train to suzhou
we're currently on the bus to suzhou. It takes about 2 hours to reach suzhou. And everyone on the bus is asleep except this particular night owl - me. Hahah. I kept looking outside. Looking out for stars, looking at the beautiful and long highways as we left shanghai and now, we're in the suburbs bam cus theres no lampposts anywhere. I was looking out.. Thinking about alot of things. And dozing off.. And thinking. And i came upon the subject of.. What do i want to be when i grow up? Afterall, i am only less than 2 years away from graduation. from this trip and for alot of years, i take comfort in writing. If u read my blog, u can tell that i just love writing. About my life, about things around me, about my theories, about a topic i come up with and even, travelling! So i really hope i can get a job writing. But i don't wanna waste a particularly good degree in accountancy. Then it occurred to me - financial reporter? Haha! Right? I mean, well, next year, i could start subscribing to business times, financial times maybe even getting the economist and see if i wanna do it? Right? Wow. Ya. Its going into my new year's resolution. I dont hate figures, its just sometimes deriving it sucks. But hey, yes. It was totally a eureka moment. Fuck. Suddenly, school makes my adrenaline pump. Okay. I've also decided that, from when i come back till exams, i have 5 fucking months. I want to complete revising at least 4 topics each week. If possible, i want to complete more. I want to do well in my degree. If my parents permit, i might not want to do a masters in business. i wanna do a degree in journalism. Maybe this time, abroads? Oh my gosh. Its like i feel i have a goal now. Okay. I feel good. :) love the serenity im getting now. The roads are empty. it feels i have the whole world to myself at this point of time. Okay.. Shall write somemore later.

0015: you know another change i need? I need that $75 black and gold handbag from charles and keith. I want to make full use of my 21st year. I already had my fun over these years. I want to prepare for my adulthood.

0030: approaching suzhou industrial park
Being a business student for 4 years, i've heard of suzhou industrial park. Its something all business students in singapore should know about and i can see it. Haha. Meaningful to me.. Hhaha.

0045: still on the way to the hotel.
Even im pretty exhausted. Eyes gonna close soon. Hmm, china really is china. Look at its highway. One lane is equivalent to 2 lanes in singapore and they've got 5 lanes on one carriageway. That makes the entire highway 10 lanes wide. Probably like singapore's 20 lanes. Lol! If nicole highway had 20 lanes, imagine the number of people who won't be late. Well, then they wouldn't need to install ERP. Hmm.

0650: yujia kaiyuan hotel
Woke up, realised theres no hair dryer. So decided not to wash hair. Skin's really dry. And i dont know but my hair feels like its balding. Gahhhh. Well, last night reached hotel at about 1am. Quickly washed up and slept by 2am. Woke up at 6.30am. its okay for me cus this is how im used to sleeping already. Always wake up with a tinge of sleepiness. Coming to china, theres one thing to get used to.. Cars horning. Every second, a car horns. Ironically, 'no horning' signs are everywhere! Anyway, mummy said that i was having some sweet dreams cus i was smiling and giggling in my sleep. I had no idea what i dreamt... Hmmmm. Okay. Watching this boring china documentary on a golden teapot. Lol! Anyway crossing the road here is horrible. We always take sunny singapore for granted. Crossing the road there is completely child's play there compared to here. Cars go at red lights. Although the traffic lights count down to how long more the red light will end. If singapore had that, we would almost be perfect, for the exception of our ERPs. okay. Heading for brekkie now.

0740: just finished breakfast. The moment i saw some guy frying eggs, i just chionged. Haha. Yay, sunny sideups! But v oily. But its ok. Oily sunny sideups are better than none. So anyway, the sunny side ups chef, is just this chef who keeps frying eggs for people. So thats his job - frying eggs. He seems damn sian, but i hope he perserveres. He is just on his way to be a top notch chef. But i tell you, i was looking at him and you can learn something off him - "practice makes perfect." every single egg he cracks is perfect. None that is ruined. And he does it with one hand. So yes. and also, their 大白菜 Is really nice because they fry it with vinegar. Mmmmm. Heavenly. Mmmm. And also, their fried rice. So anyway, you know how at buffet tables, they would state, "do not waste food"? Well, they indicated that as well. but being in china and when i saw the waiting staff and how they see us tourists coming in like this and from my background knowledge that their pay aren't fantastic, i think they meant it when they tell us not to waste food. Probably to them, every grain is important. There are loads of people in china who are in poverty. And being able to be here to see it for myself, that's a privilege, not something to be taken for granted. Last night as we were travelling down to the hotel and i saw this man picking out garbage at 1am.. And me in the bus complaining that we've had sore bums from sitting too long, now that was an unwanted complaint. I bet that man wished he was the one doing the complaint. We are so spoiled.

0925 : just left 网狮园. they showed us the residence of the people in olden days. 900 years old. It belongs to those rich people. Every part of the house has a meaning. For example, the size of the parking space determines how rich the people are. the more people carrying your sedan, the richer you are. Normally, like a toyota vios here, is probably a 2 people sedan then. A mercedes is probably a 8 person sedan. A ferrari is probably a 20 person sedan. Last time, matchmakers look at your door to see if your family background matches that of your potential husband's. Hence, 门当户对. Also, the more windows there are in a house, the richer you are. In those days, the girls cannot go out (omg. I rlly can't imagine such days) so they hang around the garden. In those days, girls don't live for themselves. They learn to draw and sew so that they can teach their children to do all that. They then hang around the huge garden or just look through the gap to see the living room to see their potential husbands. Very sexist. Haha. Im lucky to be a modern age girl, eh! Our tourguide, 张姐, is very eloquent. her words are very teasing and come out in proverbs. And suddenly, i remember how keen i was towards learning the chinese language in my sec school days. Some of the poems i've learnt before! Hahaha. And i learnt alot of meaning within the proverbs we used to learn. Okay. Next, silk factory!

1300: 寒山寺
Got my fucking period. :( well. We're in han shan si and i have known of this temple since primary school when ah moy used to force us to memorise the poem (see picture). Until today i can still memorise. The guy who wrote the poem is 张继. I feel he and i could have been good friends. Because he loves writing, he wrote over 300 poems and put them on the walls of the temple. Haha! the famous poem, "月落乌啼霜满天，江风雨火对愁眠, gu su城外寒山寺，半夜钟声到客船" i never would have thought i'd come here. Anyway this poem has a meaning to it: the scholar who wrote this, zhang ji, he didn't get to be the scholar for the imperial exams after mugging for 10 years. So he didnt know how to go home and face his parents. Thus, he was sitting in his boat, drinking and drowning his sorrows when he heard this bell ringing and he thought of this poem. And it became famous. He became a scholar 2 years later. Haha. Okay la, fucking cui. Menses cramp.

1825: hang zhou
worse menses encounter in entire life. realised i had my period and no pad and no panadol. If i thought that having my last 2 periods during pbf lecture listening in to tham kit wei's 3 hours worth of lecture was bad, this is worse. yup. I was in such pain, we visited this old town in su zhou.. And it was beautifully maintained. you'll feel that all that was a facade where they bluff tourists like us about the history.. But hey, people do live in those old old, chinatown museum type of houses. And they seem to be very happy. shouting across to their neighbours, playing mahjong in the open, little children crawling along the pavements. I wished i didn't have that fucking cramps. Plus, we took a boat down their river.. I was basically concentrating on not fainting while everyone were enjoying.. Gahhhh. Anyway, i've learnt that you'll ttuly know what you have till you've lost it. I used to take menstrual panadol for granted. Then today, without it, my life was in hell. Pads also. now that i have pads in my bag, i have the freedom to use toilet. Very very precious. Well, yupp. What a trip huh. Well, 6 more days to go. And honestly, apart from the traffic, i kinda think we have underestimated china. Im really impressed really. Hangzhou feels like singapore, all the sky scrapers and flats and traffic jam at knocking off hours. Okay la, we're gonna watch a performance now..

2145: st rich hotel, hang zhou
Well, finally at the hotel. The panadol took its side effects when i was watching the show. I dozed off towards the end. But it was really good. They showed 'liang shan bo and zhu ying tai' .. And the acrobats, as usual were really good. They gave us all a 'clapper' thing we used to play in primary school. But i chose to applaud with my hands. I mean, these people have given their lives to this. They deserve a good round of applause. Haha. After that we had a bit of free and easy at '杭州新天地＇ which was this high end shopping district. There was this lake, very cold. But very nice. Then we walked about. just hung around macs .. They had longan tea. Hahah. After that, headed back to hotel. Finally all showered and watching this chinese drama. Okay. Rlly had a long day. Tomorrow.. Plus all the menstruating going on, i feel like, this is an experience.. Lol!

Shanghai trip - Day 4: 21 December 2010

0745: waiting for toast to be ready.. Mmmmm..

0750: 海月restaurant
just had 2 servings of toast with sunny sideup. mmmmm. And a piping hot cup of coffee. Still having cramps now. quite xin ku but yesterday was really the worst. So, hopefully today will be okay lar. Had a good 6 hours sleep last night. Was very sleepy. Watching this china drama, it seem very nice eh. Those old shanghai kind. I feel that one travelling tip when coming to china is to bring one big gigantic bottle of moisturizer. Skin's itching up even after spamming moisturiser. And my skin type is pretty okay in singapore. And also, to stock up on your tissues. They don't have toilet paper in their cubicles here. cramping. I hope today ends well. Ohhfuuucckkk.

10.02: 西湖北
currently, im at xi hu bei. Very very picturesque scenery! Very nice weather. loads of old people exercise here. Well, if i had a park like that, with peacocks and a whole lake of red fishes, i'd jolly well walk down the park everyday. It really makes one feel serene and calm. Like after a bad day at school, its definitely very nice to rest here. okay, taking a boat now..

1020: currently am on the boat on xi hu .. The lake itself. It is very nice. Mmmmm..the willows (贵妃柳) drooping by the river bank, little huts by the side of the lake, sunny weather, mmmm.. What better way to enjoy china.

1030: still on the boat
We passed by a place called 白堤. Its named after 白居易, the famous poet who used to be the governor of hang zhou. I used to appreciate his poems when i was studying chinese. Also, 苏东坡 was the first governor of hang zhou. mmm.. Hang zhou is also known as 情都 - the love state. just now, at 西湖北 We saw the 长桥 which is where liang shan bo and zhu ying tai parted ways when they left school for summer break. Because they loved each other so much, it took them a long time to part ways at last though the bridge is short. mmm. I love it how they name their landmarks/food/things because of a significance, not just because it sounds good. Thats the beauty of chinese and i thank god i've learnt it.

1130: mei jia wu
Tea tasting now. We're trying long jing cha now. Okay. So the first cup they give is tea leaf with a bit of water. Its for smelling the fragrance. Then they top up the rest of the cup by pulling the water thrice. It is a way of welcoming us. So, to thank them, we should hold out two fingers, tap on the table thrice to say thanks, or "jia jia ni" which is thank you in their hangzhou dialect. The people here in mei jia wu- which is a village where people here all grow tea for livelihood. Okay. Shall pay attention to my tea-appreciation crash course. These chinese have a way with words..

1340: Just had lunch. Mmm. Last night we had the same chicken as today's lunch. Is this.. Deep fried chicken coated in sugar (its called 花鸡). So fucking nice. Hahaha. Keep eating that. I really must start jogging when im back. Hahaha. And also, had brinjal fried with tomato and chilli.. Yummmmmm! So nice to eat here, where you're surrounded by hills and hills of tea leaves, so very niceee. Okay. Next up, 3 hours bus ride to nanjing. Heard it might snow there..

1400: on the bus to nanjing..
Very sleepy especially after a heavy meal. the life here in hangzhou is something like in perth. More laidback.. People play mahjong, drink tea for hours, walk in the park etc. Sometimes you dont need to be the rich in monetary terms to enjoy life. Now that i think back, whenever i have early monday classes and i'll be squeezing in with those china workers, i used to feel like, "gosh. Very smelly".. Not that i despise them, but somehow i wished they weren't in the train. But now, i feel sorry for them. They live their hometown, china to work in singapore. I feel that the chinese in china are very proud people. Not arrogant, but very patriotic. And they're proud to be better than japan, america .. Proud of just being chinese. Even from the way our tourguide speaks to us, i can tell. In china, they have all these beautiful scenaries and their homes.. but they have to come to singapore, swallow their prides, suffer under our scrutiny and sometimes, having to swallow their pride just to build our nation for us .. And pride to them, is probably their life. They probably are proud to be chinese but now, they have to feel disgraceful living on this planet because of our stares and jokes about them. And all that, just for the measly pay. Sigh. In china, i feel that the situation is like the red fish pond back in 西湖. So many fishes in that pond and although many tourists come by and feed them, only the fishes on top keep getting the food. Those at the bottom never really stood a chance. So they have to swim to the other side of the pond, hopefully someone would throw them some food. but most tourists would crowd around the spot with alot of fishes and feed there.. This is how it is. Along the way, we see beggars.. And we're told not to give them money because once u give them money, u have to give all. They have no arms or are old. they have no money and we have the money. But having money makes us skeptical. Skeptical city-stayers who refuse to give them money because we fear our safety. To be honest, you can call me gullible but i really wished i could give them. Like giving food to the fishes in the less crowded spot of the pond. But well, my mum won't allow because its dangerous. But can you blame them for asking for money? They have probably run out of hope.. I don't know. I know how it feels to lose hope. Its not just an issue of money.. But hope. With no money at all, how is there even hope to live or even feed your family? So you give up your dignity and pride to ask people whom you think have money, for some money. To survive. I am lucky to live as me. What more should i ask for? Im really going to snap out of this.. "Wanting to date some guy" self. So stupid really. Im given education on a silver platter and i'm pushing it away because of .. Really trivial, mediocre things? Okay la. Gonna nap..

1516: am still on the road. I love super long bus rides. Especially in a country where the view is different. Mountains and plantations. I was wondering, what if chinese people had the skin colour of caucasians? They would definitely be the super power of the world. Really. They're or we, rather, probably no matter our abilities, probably still lose out abit internationally because of our skin colour. well.. Hmmm.. Stepping outside my boundary is awesome. Travelling makes me feel stuff i dont know i could feel. Perhaps, thats why i keep wanting to be loved. Perhaps, i just wanna feel a different feeling for a change. If thats the case, i can really choose wanderlust over love. Of course, the perfect combo would be both. Feeling like the happiest girl in the world while combing the world.. Perfect wouldn't it. Haha. At this point, i honestly can't wait to put these words i've typed up to my blog with the pictures... I feel like, after a long time of not blogging properly, this china trip is like one big thought laxative. All my thoughts can come out in words. Im happy to be able to keep writing and writing with nothing to stop me. its a reminder of how writing makes me happy. Plus im writing while travelling. Honestly, i wasn't excited at first because well.. Its china im heading to. But wow, china. It brought up my deeply-buried interest for chinese back up. Suddenly, im remembering poems i learnt, famous chinese characters from history.. I remembered how i wanted to do chinese studies in poly when i was looking around for my future. China really did surprise me. Though yes, there were good and bad ones. the good ones were probably, how despite the fierce exterior of the locals actually had heart warming personalities. How everyone i've met so far in their respective occupations - from waiting staff to the performers to my tour guides and then even construction workers.. they excel at everything they do. Honestly. I have a lot to learn. And despite farming being their main sector just a few years back, they have developed so quickly. All the sky scrapers and tall buildings in the city, the clothes their people wear, the beauty of this country i never thought i'd appreciate.. Just took me by surprise. I do hope i'd be exposed to more of such surprises in my life to come. HaHa.. Okay la, shall immerse in the rest of china .. Or rather, my road to nanjing.. Its getting chilly.. Wanna wear gloves now.

1613: jiang su shen
We're still on our way to nanjing. 2 more hours to go. Was chatting with the driver, we call him 张师夫. Hahah. We were asking about his background. He used to be a truck driver and there was once, he drove for one and a half months consecutively. Then we saw a chinese bus stopping beside us and inside was many many people. So we ask the driver who were those people. He said they were workers going home. He says, it takes minimumly about 2 days for them to go home by bus. Wow. Speaking about far. In singapore, i take one and a half hours to school and i feel tired. I love travelling long distance so i hardly complain. But wow, that.. That is massive. Hahaha. Travelling like this makes me feel like those characters in the chinese textbooks i used to read in secondary school. Like, the female lead of the story and her way home. Cus right now, the sun is directly in front of me, following me as i go... as he go down to his home behind the hill (thats where children are told to believe right? I really believed that the sun would go home after being up in the sky for so long.. like what enid blyton writes also).. okay. Im going to bask in this.. Atmosphere. This fascinating and beautiful atmosphere. The sound of the wheels going.. The coolness of the cold win coming through the bus ( nope, no aircon in the bus) and the beautiful view of the big, red sun setting.. :)

1629: why does the sun seem like its racing with us? Hahaha. Like we move one inch and it does too. like a race. Well, i've decided..
When i head back to singapore, i wanna lead a life by my definitions. I've lived life by other people's definitions for too long. I need my own.

1649: the sun is winning. Its reaching home already.. Goodbyee sun. :) thanks for shining today.

1711: listening to Train on a roadtrip is.. Yummy. The guitar, soothing voice.. Mmm..

1838: reached nanjing.. Fucking urgent.. Lol. Need to pee and the bus keeps breaking and moving.. Gahhh. My blaaaaader! Anyway, something i saw on an advertisement: "30 岁后， 房子比男人可靠". LOL! The chinese people really are damn good at business. Lol!

1910: at the foodplace
Not sure whats this place called but we're at nanjing. Had 咸水鸭.. Mmmm. V nice. Salty and cold, like smoked duck that kind of taste. Very nice. Though tonight's fare is simple, i loved it. Theres this fish soup.. The fish has alot alot of small bones but the soup is spicy and sour. Like tom yam. Yummy! And also, the vegetables.. The way they fry it simple, its very juicy and i just loved it. And also, they had this meatballs, very nice. The meat is like, they mince until very fine. Haha. im satisfied, especially after the tom yam soup. And also, managed to relieve myself. So, double happiness!

Suddenly feeling down. Hmm. Hormones? Perhaps tired, since i didn't really have a good rest and i feel very unclean from the period. Winter blues? i was re-reading our messages.. And i realise that, yeah.. Feelings were lost but i've put myself in so much of a denial that i didn't notice. well, so sad that when we return, the memories that once used to be so precious becomes null. Oh well. -takes a deep breath- new life ahead.. Sometimes, thats probably the reason a lot of people refuse to move on.. Because you have to put down the memories that once meant so much..

2113: just left 夫子庙/情怀河
haha, went there for shopping. its a shopping street and reminds me alot of tokyo, japan. Haha. so we walked along and shopped mainly around the cheapo souveneir shops. Then we headed to try smelly tofu. Its worse than the one at geylang. Haha. The smell's very strong! Lol. I had a bite and bro had a bite and we both threw the whole box away. Then we tried this pear drink which was nice. Its sweet and refreshing. Then we tried the famous 汤包. Ours had crab roe in it. It was alright though.. Had high expectations. So we decided to go to this girlish shop cus my bro was looking for a new hat. then i ended up buying alot of souveneirs for my friends. hahaha! Very cute i feel! Though it isn't very chinese-ish, it was innovative. Bought leggings also, fucking cheap. Think i wanna buy a couple more if we do come back. $5 for one? Somemore step on. and 280 denier eh! singapore's about $19.90? Then 240 denier max?? Gahhh. should have bought more lor. Then was late to meet up with the group cus i told the salesgirl to wrap inside because im taking it on a plane. And she wrapper the outside.. X: hahaha! Somemore got ribbon. And for s$0.60?! So cheappp! then rushed to meet the group. Everyone looked happy. then was walking and talking to our tourguide, 小杨, told her that their moon's very very bright. Really though. I thought singapore's really bright but here.. Wow. No wonder all the good poems here are about the moon. Then she was telling me about the different weathers across china. And i told her how small singapore is. She's a very nice girl. Pretty, married, simple. Haha. Then, she told me about boys here. She said the guys in the south are very male chauvinistic. Whereas guys here are more caring towards their girlfriends. Hahaha! We talked until we missed where we were supposed to go. Haha. Mmm. Then now we're on our way back to the hotel... Tired but smiling.. :) just received an sms from emsy thanking me for my card :) a txt from singapore made my day. And also, have been txting reggie for a while.. Hahaha. Bet they're all having loads of festive mood there. Miss them all!

Shanghai trip - Day 5: 22 December 2010

0010: York hotel, nanjing
Doing management accounting tutorial now. Sigh. I feel that, i still can't let go.. How? Sigh..

0841: heading to yang tze river now. Had a good breakfast, pumpkin roll is yummy! Okay, shall pay attention to my crash course on yangtze river..

1044: just left yang tze river
Wow, very impressed with the perseverance of the chinese people to build the bridge across the 长江. Took 8 years to build, using sweat, blood and even lives to build. And looking at the magnificence of it, i feel proud to have the chinese blood flowing in me.

Something i really don't like again, ironically, is their perseverance. We visited this art gallery where they paint pictures inside the bottle. Very intricate. So my mum, being her chinese ornament loving self, was very keen at this ornament with the koi painted on it. It costs S$2000. Me and my brother were like, dont buy. But the tour guide and the salespeople kept bringing her to see the artist who painted it. And just kept psychoing her. I told her i dont approve but if she wants, she can get. In the end, we didn't buy and everyone seemed pretty pissed. Our tourguide, xiao wang, even gave us a lecture on just buying what you like. Really hate it. Well, it spoiled the mood for me.. I don't know. perhaps, im just wearing skeptical spectacles now..

1142: war memorial, nan jing
We went to the war memorial to commemorate the 300,000 people who died in the massacre from 13 december 1937 to january 1938. i didn't take much pictures because i felt very solemn. Never felt more solemn on a holiday before. Because there's this 10,000 mass grave which contains the bones of the people who died in the hands of the japanese when they invaded nanjing. Women were raped then killed. Men were killed through various cruel means. And they put alot of statues around which depicts the .. Sadness, the pain, the anger of the people. Statues of mothers looking at their children die. Men closing the eyes of children who died in vain. A man holding his 80 year old mother's hand and "running away from those bloody hands" as the statue describes. We walked through the mass grave, saw the skeletons, saw the wall which carved the different way the people died. I teared. Very very agonizing. I mean, we see these on tv.. On movies, learnt of it in schools.. But seeing the skeletons is like, real. To me, its no longer just images but its real. As real as i am. Suddenly the emotions well up. Till now, i feel.. Very very sorry for my ancestors. What if you were a japanese walking through this? What if you knew your grandfather had something to do with this? i don't know. Life is really filled with contradictions. Im still affected by it. They didn't deserve to die like that. 小杨 Was saying that, when she learnt japanese, she had to go through it with contradictions. She came from a background where she has to learn the language of the people who did so much harm to her country and even, loved ones perhaps. I promise to bring my children here when i have any. she said, there was once she was told.. How they would torture a pregnant mother.. They would rip a stomach open, take the baby out, kill it in front of her and let her slowly die. Did she deserve this? Ohmygosh. Lets just say that we take peace for granted. The reason im able to even travel is because there is peace. Look at north korea, will they be allowed to travel out? Yup. Im not a christian but i wanna end this part with this: amen.

1250: at this jade shop.
Bought this bi xiu pendant. Lol. First jade of my life. I feel cheena, but im just trying it out la. Haha

1350: at the restaurant above the jade shop

Ate these meatballs. Mmmmm. Taste like ikea ones. Mmmmm. And xian shui ya... Salt water duck.. Mmm.. Okie. Next destination soon!

1711: 无锡

we've just arrived at wuxi. Sun's setting. Tomorrow gonna eat crabs! Ahahah. Just now we stopped by a river by nanjing. Mmmm. Very beautiful. And the air is very fresh.. Well, i still keep thinking about the war memorial though.. Hmmm..

1828: just had a really grand dinner at wuxi's indoor stadium. Mmmm, the food's really good! Had wuxi's 红烧排骨. And also, some potato food which they shaped it to become a dragon and coated it with mango sauce. Haha. Hmmm, early night tonight cus its too dark to enjoy the park. Hmm, today quite tired to think.. So probably gonna do abit of MA tutorial. Then sleep early. As the people who built the bridge across the yang tze river say, "宁可苦战，不可苦熬。 宁可流血，不可流泪" yup. the meaning is, we'd rather fight than endure the humility. Something like this. some phrases just lose its meaning in translation. Mandarin is truly a beauty.

2150: Greenland hotel, wuxi
We came to the hotel at about 1900. our tour group, which consists of this indonesia couple with their two children, this singaporean couple and their 3 sons, a mother and daughter pair - claudia and cecilia and then us. all strangers at first and we became quite integrated. Sometimes i'd walk with the indo couple and their 2 very adorable children. Then the singapore couple and their 3 very stern sons. Like, 3 brian shohei teos. Was talking to them just now. Then ya. We all stayed around each other today and decided to go out together to the nearby mall to walk around. The three boys wanted to buy ice cream. Lol! So we headed to the mall - moi mall. Ahha. Then we walked about and i bought a new bag from adidas. Lol. My backpack is pathetic! Hahaha. Then went to the maybelline counter and it was abit cheaper than singapore's. So i bought. And also, we headed to the supermarket! Lol. The toothbrush, colgate brand, is like.. 13 rmb for 2?? Wtf. Hahaha. But we just bought paper clips and chewing gum. Then we headed to pizzahut with uncle tan and his sons. wahhh! Their pizzahut menu is so fucking good! got fried rice, fried noodles, so many drinks, pizza got alot more flavours also! Very cosy also! Then like, cus is so cold, u'll feel like u're not in china? Haha. Then we headed back to the hotel together. Loads of laughter and jokes! Super fun. Cus one of the boys tried to enter our hotel room window earlier, haha, cus our rooms are linked by a balcony, so they can climb out of their window and walk through the balcony. Ahhaha. So cheeky. So i kept making fun of them about them anyhow invading our room. V cute. okay la. Im q sleepy. Watching tom and jerry now. So cute. Hahah. Goodnights!

Shanghai trip - Day 6: 23 December 2010

0837: 蠡湖，太湖
its pronounced as "li hu" which is one small part of tai hu. the air's very refreshing. Good to breath in. Gahhhh. Got very very bad flu and also, headache and also indigestion.. Our local tourguide, 小荣, is veryawesome! She's so cheery and bubbly! Hahah. Okay. Fucking xin ku. Fuck la. Menses over liao then now am sick

1245: very unwell. At dining table now having lunch. not only am i having really bad runny nose, im also having very bad tummy upsetness. Think is stomach flu? I need to shit a good one. Fuuuccckkk. V uncomfy. really just wanna sleep.

2030: in leisure hotel, shanghai. The downside of being a wanderluster: dry, flaky skin. Diarrheaed 4 times, somemore is fucking watery kind. very scary lor. Now, i just feel like vomitting. Earlier in the day, my nose was so blocked and i couldn't breath, somemore the wind was so cold. Sigh. I felt really really horrible the entire day. Still, had to go from destination to destination, put on a smile when what i want is just to sleep in the bus. Sigh. very xin ku. Well just a quick summary of today. Headed to 三国城Which is this place where they filmed the drama, 三国演义. Very very nice and majestic. then headed to this pearl factory where i bought a year's supply of pearl cream. Then headed for lunch. had da za xie. Gosh. I cant blog anymore. Too fucking ... sick.

Shanghai trip - Day 7: 24 December 2010

0740: Leisure hotel
Eating breakfast now. Last night slept at 10pm. Woke up at 3am to diarrhea thrice. Headed to bed and woke up at 7am. My breakfast for today: plain porridge and red bean bun. Not my mum forced me, but i have phobia for china food... X: honestly. Everytime i head to the loos, its diarrhea. Gahhhhhh. How to be a true wanderluster if im afraid of the food here? I guess the problem about travelling is that, u pick these problems up from travelling and travelling doesnt permit rest. So you cant take mc, curl up in your bed, visit that trusted family doctor and rest. U have to rely on the medication you brought, sleep on the bus to try and conserve energy. You need to carry toilet paper with you because you never know when you'll need it. Despite it being a rough journey here, im still glad i came to be able to learn so much. Okay, so i shall pick off from where i left off last night.. After the pearl factory, we went to this teapot factory and looked at the making of the teapot and understand the culture of teapot making. Then headed to 同仁堂. learnt about chinese medicine and also, had free foot reflexology. My masseur's q hot! Haha. But cus i havent waxed my legs since im here, its quite hairy. Honestly, i feel like a barbarian. My armpits and legs are.. Gross.. But luckily wear long sleeves. Hah! Save money. love the chinese people when they call people 美女. Though i dont deserve it, its still good to hear. Hahaa! Then had some chinese medicine food. And headed back to the hotel. The other parts of the tour group headed out to shop. but my mum and bro stayed in to accompany me. Gahhh, i hate it when people cannot enjoy because of me. The feeling sucks. Well. Sigh. As i always say, theres 2 sides to a coin. Always. Haha. Well, i feel slightly better especially since my breakfast is so light. I feel like shitting. :( anyway, last night i dreamt of him. Lol. I dreamt that we took the same bus together. Then we alighted. Then i said, "eh. This is not your stop". He said, "its okay" then i woke up from my churning tummy. oh well. i feel slimmer though.. 2 sides to a coin. Anyway, last night as i was diarrhea-ing, i said, "i don't need a man". Ya. I mean, okay, im human right? And of course i want to be loved. But i dont really need it. Ya. I will be envious of sweet couples like i did in the past.. But well, life's like that lor. I have more things to worry about also. yup. Tummyyyyy acccchhheeeee D:

0925: on the way to shanghai expo, on the road. 耀华路
we're currently stopped on yao hua lu. Because theres a car who wants to cut into our lane. Then our bus driver, 张师夫, stopped to let him go. Then he kept shouting why we stopped and block his way. Then he drove into our bus and it scratched his car and he demanded zhang shifu to come down and settle. He almost beat zhang shifu up. Then he kept scolding. Then now, settling with the police lor. So stupid. Xiao yang did a good job by keeping calm. And making sure the bus door is closed. So he can't come up. Very fierce, that man. Very unreasonable. His face is so stupid lor anyway, like a thief. Fucked up. Then now, uncle tan is being called up as witness. Then seems like its our fault when it very clearly is his. Sooo stupid lor. Every country has its own share of unreasonable people. We are unlucky to meet one. Reminds me of perth. haha. Fuck him ttm

1154: just went to the shanghai expo. Most of it has been torn down but the china expo is still there. Very magnificent. Cus of the previous incident, me, claudia and my bro headed to buy tickets for the expo with xiaoyang. Its -4c out there and we had to queue in the open. Its so cold i couldnt feel my nose. And my coat is supposed to be for above 0c. Lol. Was freezing our arses off. Well, then we went in. Imagine, it has been months after the expo and its a friday morning eh. And there were sooooo many people squeezing in. Imagine if it was the actual one! After having been to the china one, i really wished i could see the entire expo. Its so creative and beautiful. See the pictures, though poorly taken. They showed us a 10 minutes movie about china through the years. Very nice. Very magnificent lor, i tell u. Im curious to see singapore's though! Hahaha. We had to walk pretty far after that to the carpark and i just really hate it how some people complains and complains. zhang shifu parked the bus so far to avoid the fuckers. i feel its a good walk cus we got to see the streets of shanghai. They have very nice houses. And at first its freezingly scarily cold, the wind. But after a while, i got used to the cold wind. i loved the icy feeling on my face. :) okay. Lunch time.

1220: just finished lunch. Gahhh, the omelette is superr yummy. But oily. Im supposed to avoid oily food but gosh. Haha. Fuck la, tummy churning. Finally got a chance to eat xiao longbao. Its nice. I feel that in order to travel as extensively as possible, you must never compare how much better/worse this country is with your country. You should only compare how different is it, not how much better/worse it is. Just like as individuals, we should never say someone is worse just because he/she is different. Yup. I rest my case. Bloody tummy, churning.

1405: just finished touring this fengshui place. This fengshui guy read our feng shui. Then he decipher our lives from our names and zodiac. He said for me, my personality is stubborn. He says i dont like to listen to people's words. And also, my name is quite boyish for a girl. So my personality is more masculine than feminine. He says i should listen to people more often. And he says, my life will be good and i shouldnt marry early. Earliest is 26 years old. To someone tiger or dog zodiac. Which is.. quite true eh! Ahaha. He told me to be gentler. Don't be too boyish. I admit that im quite unfeminine though my dressing can be feminine. hmmmmm. Hahahaha. I feel like consulting more..

1719: just left shanghai financial centre. Its 100 levels high.

1743: just left this park where we got to see shanghai's nightview!!! -6c. Very very icy cold. but this is the moment i was waiting for. I saw the image of shanghai once in my chinese textbook. And whenever i think of shanghai, i will think of that image. So, despite the cold cold cold wind blowing making my lips, hands, legs, nose all completely numb, it was worth the view. It made me realise, hey! Im in SHANGHAI! Haha. Very beautiful. So i was cut halfway because we already arrived by the time i was about to begin. Okay. So, i was saying, we went to shanghai financial centre which is 100 stories high. Basically, its the first time im paying to take the escalator and its 150rmb. These chinese, very smart in money making. Haha. But the experience is definitely way above just taking a lift. we were brought to a lift lobby where i felt, looked like a scene from star trek. Lol. Like, white walls, funny lighting, robotic person speaking. Then above the lobby, on the ceiling, they will indicate how high the lift is. Haha. At 10m, thats the exit. Then, when it reached b2 where our lift lobby was, it counted down 10, 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1.. Me and claudia were like, happy new year! Hahah. So funny. Then we took the lift and its automated. Very nice experience. 95 stories in a minute. Then we had to take another lift up to the 100th floor. Most magnificent view i've seen. Shanghai looks very beautiful. Can see 东方明珠电视塔 and alot of houses and stuff. being a city girl, i was still amazed at the view. Very beautiful. But think of all the stories that goes on beneath me. Think of the stories after stories that took place in shanghai. Anyway, its just very very gorgeous. Then we headed down and they had this tree where u coud write your wish. I wrote mine. Ahahha. Then we went down and headed to the park to see the night view. Well, before we went to the financial centre, we headed to this jewelry shop place. Typical. But the untypical part is, the big boss was there. And he welcomed us himself. He's really weird. Like, speaks gently (abit sissy), bald, but he wears LV belt and bag and .. He's just weird la. But the thing is, he saw xiao fang (the indo couple's daughter, very cute one) and thought she's cute.. Then he just gave her a 688rmb jade pendant! Wow right? Then he said, cus his father is sick and his relatives from singapore visited him, so he treats us like his friends. So he brought us to the VIP room and told everyone, if we liked anything for ourselves, we should just pick and he sells us for 100rmb. Bear in mind that the retail price is 1,000rmb. Lol! So some aunties and my mum bought, out of feeling paiseh actually. Ahaha. Then we left. So.. weird leh, the experience! Haha. Well, anyway, i hope before i die, i get to do something. Should i ever love another man, i would like to go to that park in shanghai, at huang pu river, and walk down with him, with my hand holding his hand and stuffed in his coat. Haha, i saw couples doing that and i thought its very very sweet. I don't know la, just being abit sentimental here.

1816: oh i forgot! The fengshui master said that i will work better in overseas! See! Im even wanderluster by fengshui. Could feel my tattoo glowing!

1835: just had dinner. Tummy churning. Lol. But the special thing is, theres curry tonighttt!! Omg! So rare! Sooo shiok in this weather! Mmmm :p

Im glad i came to china. Really. Let me experienced alot. Hahaha. I love cold weathers. Mmm.

1850: lol! We headed to the toilet near the restaurant. Very spooky. Red lights eh! Reminded me of martial arts camp where we had the nightwalk. i opened the toilet with claudia and the first thing i said, oh my fucking god!" lol! Shouted, rather. Ok la.. Going to take bullet train now.

2205: leisure hotel
Just took the maglev train from longyang rd station to pudong airport. Haha. The train ride was interesting. so fast and fascinating. What will take a half an hour bus ride would only take 10 minutes. Haha. But tonight was really joyous lor! After the train ride, we tried their kfc. They have 油条with sugar. Yummmz! Somemore is piping hot and sweet. Then we just kept joking around and stuff. Then we headed to the bus when zhang shifu came. Then on the bus, the windows got misty. Then cus me, bro and claudia sat in the front, so we just kept joking about lutos. Hhaa. The name of the saleslady that serve us at the pearl shop. lol. then the back are the boys and the little girl, xiaofang. Lol. The boys kept playing tic tac toe at the back of the bus. So funny! Then i went behind to join them. Claudia came along and its damn fun! The age gap between the youngest to oldest (me) is 8 to 20 years old. Hahahaha. And it was super fun. I never expected to have such an enjoyable christmas eve in china. Haha. Even zhang shifu had fun too. Lol! Yupp. Okay la, merry xmas! :) ciaos.

Shanghai trip - Day 8: Christmas day!!

0912: puxi, shanghai, china
On my way to taobao city! This is the online shop morgann introduced to me a while back where i remembered we were super eggcited about the cheap and cute stuff! But nw, is real life. Yay, shopping! Anyway last night here in shanghai. I am loving shanghai, honestly. tonight, we're going back to huangpu river tonight! Taking the boat along side my most favourite view of china! Haha. The paris of the east! I can't believe im 依依不舍-ing! Rlly love my tourgroup people and also the icy wind in shanghai. And also the beauty of chinese culture where it is dissed in singapore. When i go back, im going to stop using the word, "cheena". And honestly, if u think driving in singapore is tough (*raises hands*), then think again. Try driving in shanghai. I miss my friends in singaporeeeeee! hahaha. I am so fucking committing myself to be a wanderluster. Im happy i got that tattoo ( thanks reggieveggie) :) okay. Shall update in a bit!

0914: anyway, i feel fucking like a wild animal.. If u saw my leg hair, its sooo fucking disgustingly gross i tell u. And armpit hair. Gahhhhh. Need emergency waxing. Neeeed emergency waxing!! Nail polish chipped until like mad. Face flaky ttm. Need pearl cream!

1138: just went shopping at this far east plaza look alike place called 韩城. Hahah. So fucking cheap the stuff. I bought alot of earrings, bags and stuff. Very niceeee! Yay to shopping! But the tip here is, you MUST always HAGGLE! because everything there is parallel imports. So if say, a bag costs 600rmb, haggle it down to 100rmb. Im seriouS. I did that for all my shopping. In fact, even you might feel is adsurb. But right, once you say, "fine. Then i dont want it!" and walk away, they'll let you have your way. Hahhaa. Its like this. But the crucial thing is, once you've haggled, you MUST honour your word and buy the stuff at the price you offered. Well, its a matter of principles anyway, right? so, anyway this whole trip is only successful with 张师夫. Honestly, without his excellent driving skills in this horribly narrow roads with extremely alot of cars, we would never have been able to get from place to place so smoothly. Should never take it for granted, even if we did pay for his service.

1439: 城隍庙街，上海
Just left lao huang miao jie. We had lunch at this place called 豫上海. The ambience is really the shanghai i had in mind. East meets west. Intricate carvings on chairs, nice and clean, sophisticated, windows painted and live music with gu zheng playing 菊花台. Walao. I completely am immersed in shanghai. I wished i had the figure to wear a qipao. Would totally have worn it. The food's really awesome! And for once, we had orange juice.. So sweet and nice! After that, we went to shop and see lao huang miao jie. You have to go there. If you think china isn't chinese enough for you, thats the place to go. Its china's chinatown. Very very beautifully done. Very chinese. loads of handicrafts for sale. And also, food. I bought a couple of souveneirs for the girls. And we had 葫芦糖. Its those olden days snacks, they soak the "xiang zha" fruit into the 麦芽糖 and they put a few on a stick. Bright red and glossy. But the modernised version is the fruits one. Mmmmm. So juicy and sweet! yummyyy! Then we just hung around and looked at the handicrafts. Then towards the end, we took a group photo in front of the mall. We learnt in china that when you take photos, you should say, "茄子" hahaha! Funny. yup. Now on the bus. Later heading to the wax museum.

1656: just headed to the this pu'er tea place. Hahaha. Super fun. As usual, its a place meant more for tourists where they can sell us their products for their commission. then we started chatting with the salesgirl. She's from yun nan. In yun nan, they have a totally different culture. in most cultures, we marry the girl off. Meaning to say, she stays with her husband or with her husband and her in laws. And the husband would be the breadwinner and the wife would be taking care of the household chores. But in yun nan, its completely opposite. The women marry the husbands in. The husbands stay with the wife's parents. He does the household chores while the women climb trees to pick tea leaves for a living. Hahah! So cute. So we were joking around as the ladies in there kept giggling when we ask them to marry the men in our tourgroup off. Hahahah! And also, they call men "mao". So young men are called xiao mao (sounds like 小猫 - kitten), boys above 18 are ah mao and old men are lao mao. So she kept calling the indonesia guy from our tourgroup, lao mao (sounds like 老猫 - old cat). Ahhaha, then we kept making fun of him. Then we took photos with the girls. Hahahha. Then we keep doing the '西瓜甜不甜' and they are so amused. But we are too! Hahah. Very fun. Gotta know the 3 sons more now. They're damn cute. So sad its the last day. We always have fun on the last day only. Sigh. Oh well. Shall bask in it while it lasts. So sad tonight's the last night already.

1747: i really love the adrenaline feeling travelling gives me. Really love being a wanderluster despite the stomach flu and the gross skin and caveman look. Hahah. Looooove knowing new things about cultures. I love being told that my stereotype about certain cultures are wrong. I love to know where i went wrong and learn new principles. I don't wanna be a stupid girl anymore next year on. I wanna travel. I wanna travel.

2120: on the boat. I witnessed the clock tower.

2201: on the bus, back to hotel. Well, the previous line was typed when i witnessed the clock tower on board the cruise ship. I truly felt the beauty of wanderlust flowing through my blood as i stood at the third floor, blown by 0 degrees wind against my face, with the most magnificent view ones eyes can feast on that is beyond what words can describe. As i've said, when i think of shanghai, i think of the clocktower. Since secondary school when i first saw how shanghai looked in drawing in the textbook, that was the image of shanghai in my head. So, when i saw it with my own eyes, i truly truly felt that i've reached my aim. :) the feeling is awesome. I just said outloud to myself, "wanderluster". though my cheeks were frozen, i smiled. And took pics with the boys. Hahaha. I promise to one day, be able to pay for myself to feed my wanderlust. Yup. Hopefully it would be to switzerland. Well, its a honour to be on this trip with this group of people - uncle tan, auntie tan and their 3 boys. Uncle da mao and his wife, meiling and the 2 adorable kids - xiao ming and xiao fang. Claudia and auntie cecilia. And also, xiao yang and zhang shifu. lucky, really. Really lucky :) okay, last night here has ended. So, shall be heading back to singapore. Im truly too emotional already la, i miss jiangnan already. I feel that, being in a tourgroup is fate. and a rare one. Because it will be once in our lives we'd spend time together and have fun in a foreign land for so many days in a row. One rare opportunity. And somemore, they're really a great great crowd. ok. Back to singapore means a battle against time. Sigh. Shall rest well then. Sigh. I leave singapore with a sigh. I leave china with a sigh. Siannnnnn. Hahaha!

1835: still in the clouds. Should be arriving sunny singapore in an hour. though we got centre seats on board SQ833 but looking through the window from afar and seeing that im amidst clouds is really nice. The kid sitting in front of me has been replaying "despicable me" over and over again since we took off! Lol! I would too. In fact, i watched it on the way to shanghai. Hahahha. Loooove it! in fact, im listening to 'shrek forever soundtrack' right now while typing this. And i must remember to download 'top of the world' when i get home. Looooove it! Super mother-goose feeling. Okay. So here's my thoughts after these 9 days expedition!

After secondary, apart from speaking to the ocassional people in mandarin, i haven't quite been in touch with my chinese roots since and i have forgotten that i had chinese blood flowing in me. And this is a reminder of how fond i was of chinese when in secondary school. Its really refreshing. Call me cheena all you like. But im thankful i've learnt mandarin because through this language, i got to know about the culture and learn alot about life and the true chinese spirit. How an actual chinese with backbone should live. 宁可战死，不可熬死。its useful for me because when i land, im going to be facing a battle myself as well. Like everything else, no one should be more inferior/superior than another. We may be weaker than others in an area but we will be stronger in other aspects. We are just different. we all have different definitions of happiness. To some people, getting a other half is happiness. To others, money is happiness. Whereas to others, success in career/ school is happiness. We're all different. On the way in china, we've encountered beggars who lie in the freezing cold weather with a bowl in front of them whereas we were on the bus, nice and warm. We can't help them because we are told not to. and because we are uncertain. So, all i can do is to learn. So they won't be in the cold for nothing. To them, a nice piping hot bowl of rice would be nice. To us, we complain that the rice isn't cooked to our liking. But a nice hot bowl of curry actually made us smile because we're somehow reminded of home. I've underestimated the chinese. Yes, they are still loud and probably, a little unrefined. But im pretty sure the generation to come will improve by a great deal as they become billingual. Looking at their spirit and their progress, together with their land area, natural resources and mass population, i believe they will eventually, perhaps in a decade's time, be as influential/powerful as the westerners. No offence. well, okay. We're arriving now. okay la. That will be the end of my wanderlustrous journey. :) ending with a bit of turbulence, but its alright. Okay. Fresh start, uncertain road ahead and fierce battle with the books... Here i come!

Shanghai trip - Day 8: Christmas day!!

0912: puxi, shanghai, china
On my way to taobao city! This is the online shop morgann introduced to me a while back where i remembered we were super eggcited about the cheap and cute stuff! But nw, is real life. Yay, shopping! Anyway last night here in shanghai. I am loving shanghai, honestly. tonight, we're going back to huangpu river tonight! Taking the boat along side my most favourite view of china! Haha. The paris of the east! I can't believe im 依依不舍-ing! Rlly love my tourgroup people and also the icy wind in shanghai. And also the beauty of chinese culture where it is dissed in singapore. When i go back, im going to stop using the word, "cheena". And honestly, if u think driving in singapore is tough (*raises hands*), then think again. Try driving in shanghai. I miss my friends in singaporeeeeee! hahaha. I am so fucking committing myself to be a wanderluster. Im happy i got that tattoo ( thanks reggieveggie) :) okay. Shall update in a bit!

0914: anyway, i feel fucking like a wild animal.. If u saw my leg hair, its sooo fucking disgustingly gross i tell u. And armpit hair. Gahhhhh. Need emergency waxing. Neeeed emergency waxing!! Nail polish chipped until like mad. Face flaky ttm. Need pearl cream!

1138: just went shopping at this far east plaza look alike place called 韩城. Hahah. So fucking cheap the stuff. I bought alot of earrings, bags and stuff. Very niceeee! Yay to shopping! But the tip here is, you MUST always HAGGLE! because everything there is parallel imports. So if say, a bag costs 600rmb, haggle it down to 100rmb. Im seriouS. I did that for all my shopping. In fact, even you might feel is adsurb. But right, once you say, "fine. Then i dont want it!" and walk away, they'll let you have your way. Hahhaa. Its like this. But the crucial thing is, once you've haggled, you MUST honour your word and buy the stuff at the price you offered. Well, its a matter of principles anyway, right? so, anyway this whole trip is only successful with 张师夫. Honestly, without his excellent driving skills in this horribly narrow roads with extremely alot of cars, we would never have been able to get from place to place so smoothly. Should never take it for granted, even if we did pay for his service.

1439: 城隍庙街，上海
Just left lao huang miao jie. We had lunch at this place called 豫上海. The ambience is really the shanghai i had in mind. East meets west. Intricate carvings on chairs, nice and clean, sophisticated, windows painted and live music with gu zheng playing 菊花台. Walao. I completely am immersed in shanghai. I wished i had the figure to wear a qipao. Would totally have worn it. The food's really awesome! And for once, we had orange juice.. So sweet and nice! After that, we went to shop and see lao huang miao jie. You have to go there. If you think china isn't chinese enough for you, thats the place to go. Its china's chinatown. Very very beautifully done. Very chinese. loads of handicrafts for sale. And also, food. I bought a couple of souveneirs for the girls. And we had 葫芦糖. Its those olden days snacks, they soak the "xiang zha" fruit into the 麦芽糖 and they put a few on a stick. Bright red and glossy. But the modernised version is the fruits one. Mmmmm. So juicy and sweet! yummyyy! Then we just hung around and looked at the handicrafts. Then towards the end, we took a group photo in front of the mall. We learnt in china that when you take photos, you should say, "茄子" hahaha! Funny. yup. Now on the bus. Later heading to the wax museum.

1656: just headed to the this pu'er tea place. Hahaha. Super fun. As usual, its a place meant more for tourists where they can sell us their products for their commission. then we started chatting with the salesgirl. She's from yun nan. In yun nan, they have a totally different culture. in most cultures, we marry the girl off. Meaning to say, she stays with her husband or with her husband and her in laws. And the husband would be the breadwinner and the wife would be taking care of the household chores. But in yun nan, its completely opposite. The women marry the husbands in. The husbands stay with the wife's parents. He does the household chores while the women climb trees to pick tea leaves for a living. Hahah! So cute. So we were joking around as the ladies in there kept giggling when we ask them to marry the men in our tourgroup off. Hahahah! And also, they call men "mao". So young men are called xiao mao (sounds like 小猫 - kitten), boys above 18 are ah mao and old men are lao mao. So she kept calling the indonesia guy from our tourgroup, lao mao (sounds like 老猫 - old cat). Ahhaha, then we kept making fun of him. Then we took photos with the girls. Hahahha. Then we keep doing the '西瓜甜不甜' and they are so amused. But we are too! Hahah. Very fun. Gotta know the 3 sons more now. They're damn cute. So sad its the last day. We always have fun on the last day only. Sigh. Oh well. Shall bask in it while it lasts. So sad tonight's the last night already.

1747: i really love the adrenaline feeling travelling gives me. Really love being a wanderluster despite the stomach flu and the gross skin and caveman look. Hahah. Looooove knowing new things about cultures. I love being told that my stereotype about certain cultures are wrong. I love to know where i went wrong and learn new principles. I don't wanna be a stupid girl anymore next year on. I wanna travel. I wanna travel.

2120: on the boat. I witnessed the clock tower.

2201: on the bus, back to hotel. Well, the previous line was typed when i witnessed the clock tower on board the cruise ship. I truly felt the beauty of wanderlust flowing through my blood as i stood at the third floor, blown by 0 degrees wind against my face, with the most magnificent view ones eyes can feast on that is beyond what words can describe. As i've said, when i think of shanghai, i think of the clocktower. Since secondary school when i first saw how shanghai looked in drawing in the textbook, that was the image of shanghai in my head. So, when i saw it with my own eyes, i truly truly felt that i've reached my aim. :) the feeling is awesome. I just said outloud to myself, "wanderluster". though my cheeks were frozen, i smiled. And took pics with the boys. Hahaha. I promise to one day, be able to pay for myself to feed my wanderlust. Yup. Hopefully it would be to switzerland. Well, its a honour to be on this trip with this group of people - uncle tan, auntie tan and their 3 boys. Uncle da mao and his wife, meiling and the 2 adorable kids - xiao ming and xiao fang. Claudia and auntie cecilia. And also, xiao yang and zhang shifu. lucky, really. Really lucky :) okay, last night here has ended. So, shall be heading back to singapore. Im truly too emotional already la, i miss jiangnan already. I feel that, being in a tourgroup is fate. and a rare one. Because it will be once in our lives we'd spend time together and have fun in a foreign land for so many days in a row. One rare opportunity. And somemore, they're really a great great crowd. ok. Back to singapore means a battle against time. Sigh. Shall rest well then. Sigh. I leave singapore with a sigh. I leave china with a sigh. Siannnnnn. Hahaha!

Shanghai trip - Day 9: 26 December 2010

0030: in letoh erusiel (read it backwards) now. Before i head to bed, being the last night im going to bed in shanghai.. Im just going to say i'll miss this place. And this is the start of my wanderlusting journey.. Hahah. Really. First time i'm blogging so extensively for a trip. Usually i'll collect brochures then blog at the end. But i usually forget alot of intricate details by the end. For japan, i kept a diary but i could only fill it in at the end of the day and its not easy and detailed. Cus at night, especially on tours, its used for preparing for the next day's stuff/packing/unpacking plus i'll also forget alot of things that happened. Feelings, sights, tastes, smells.. So yup. This is really useful. But though i tried to update as often as i can, travelling is one experience you have to go through yourself to fill in the gaps where feelings get lost when you describe it so technically. overall, i'll miss china. I'll wanna visit southern china. Haha. the only things i won't miss about china is:
1. The dreadful feeling of having to strip in the freaking cold climate to shower. Shivering and peeling your clothes off layer by layer is torturous.
2. Stepping out of the hot shower. That.. Is the worst of the torturee cus immediately after being in heaven, you're dumped into hell.
3. The no-toilet-bowl/toilet paper loos. Lets just say, i've had my WORST and BEST toilet experiences. Worst being the first day of menses. Best being today at yu shanghai. using the toilet was an experience. Really.
4. Some of the unreasonable people (i.e the car accident dude.. ) but these usually happen more in southern region of china, as xiaoyang told us.

So yup. Thats about it. Im heading to bed now. Btw, china has about 200+ to 300 channels on their tv. When i told my masseur yesterday that we only have 7 free to air channels in singapore, he was like "真的假的?!!" he seemed very astonished. Anyway im too cold to type more. Have got loads of waiting time tomorrow... So, this is 林湘苡 Reporting from pudong, shanghai, china. 晚安!

1330: am on plane! So funny. We're supposed to be on the 1620 flight! But we went there early to eat and hang around. Then the woman ask us if we're changing flight when we just wanted to check if we can check our luggage in. So we decided to change our flight to this one since.. Well, if we don't, we have to nua in the airport for 2 hours plus. So might as well make use of the 2 hours to have dinner with daddy and also, can settle the pics and blog by tonight so tomorrow onwards, i can just do my work in peace ba. Blahh, must learn from the chinese. Okay. Take off time!

1650: on the plane now. actually i have no idea what is going to happen when i land. i haven't made much plans for when i step back in singapore. Hmm. I feel uneasy about the uncertainty, but im good.. I think. I miss shanghai, xiaoyang, zhang shifu and everyone else already..

1835: still in the clouds. Should be arriving sunny singapore in an hour. though we got centre seats on board SQ833 but looking through the window from afar and seeing that im amidst clouds is really nice. The kid sitting in front of me has been replaying "despicable me" over and over again since we took off! Lol! I would too. In fact, i watched it on the way to shanghai. Hahahha. Loooove it! in fact, im listening to 'shrek forever soundtrack' right now while typing this. And i must remember to download 'top of the world' when i get home. Looooove it! Super mother-goose feeling. Okay. So here's my thoughts after these 9 days expedition!

After secondary, apart from speaking to the ocassional people in mandarin, i haven't quite been in touch with my chinese roots since and i have forgotten that i had chinese blood flowing in me. And this is a reminder of how fond i was of chinese when in secondary school. Its really refreshing. Call me cheena all you like. But im thankful i've learnt mandarin because through this language, i got to know about the culture and learn alot about life and the true chinese spirit. How an actual chinese with backbone should live. 宁可战死，不可熬死。its useful for me because when i land, im going to be facing a battle myself as well. Like everything else, no one should be more inferior/superior than another. We may be weaker than others in an area but we will be stronger in other aspects. We are just different. we all have different definitions of happiness. To some people, getting a other half is happiness. To others, money is happiness. Whereas to others, success in career/ school is happiness. We're all different. On the way in china, we've encountered beggars who lie in the freezing cold weather with a bowl in front of them whereas we were on the bus, nice and warm. We can't help them because we are told not to. and because we are uncertain. So, all i can do is to learn. So they won't be in the cold for nothing. To them, a nice piping hot bowl of rice would be nice. To us, we complain that the rice isn't cooked to our liking. But a nice hot bowl of curry actually made us smile because we're somehow reminded of home. I've underestimated the chinese. Yes, they are still loud and probably, a little unrefined. But im pretty sure the generation to come will improve by a great deal as they become billingual. Looking at their spirit and their progress, together with their land area, natural resources and mass population, i believe they will eventually, perhaps in a decade's time, be as influential/powerful as the westerners. No offence. well, okay. We're arriving now. okay la. That will be the end of my wanderlustrous journey. :) ending with a bit of turbulence, but its alright. Okay. Fresh start, uncertain road ahead and fierce battle with the books... Here i come!

happy new year, folks!

well, i began the new year at uncle jerry's place last night with the cousins- alyssa, kieran, lionel, lorraine, bro. And also, alot of relatives like jotham they all. was rather crowded yesterday. Very festive. Played pictionary and some games. We exchanged gifts as well. Lorr knows me best. Got me a diary. Gerald, very sweet luh, got me a webcam! Lol! Yay man! So anyhows, i wanted to begin this new year with a new blog right? But im so busy! In the day, im entertaining the aussie cousins and try to meet friends. At night, i chiong my schoolwork. Omg. I rlly wanna design my new blog... Sigh! So shitty. Anyway gonna beging the new year with massive headache (took 2 beers last night), waking up at 9 to bring them for fish spa cus they got really fascinated with fish spa.. Lol! well, anyway, it feels weird to be in 2011. Because.. Suddenly the things that happened in 2010 becomes so distant! Like last year this time, alvin held m hand. now, we're just sttrangers. So weirddd. Like, idk. everything feels distant now and i feel im rolling on a plain piece of paper. But im just too busy to want to make anything. wished someone would do the painting for me. Fuck the schoolwork laaaa. Gahhh. I wanna blog properly. And i cant feel vibes that im in the new year tho. I dunno why. Fuck it, 21st this year. but im curious how this year would roll out for me.. But one thing for sure is, im a love pariah. Hopefully i can lose some weight by the end of the year. I dont know why but i kinda lost abit of the strength i've gotten from shanghai. Ok. Nonetheless.. Im good. Maybe just too tired these days and wished i had a good shoulder to lean on. Anyway, i'll post the shanghai blogpost nonetheless. I'll be too busy anytime soon to add pics to it.. So might as well. Okay. Hopefully everyone's gonna have a good year ahead. Love ya! Peace out.

Hey there, old friend!

Hey there, my darling old friend, my blog! hahah. well, it's not that i havent been blogging. through the shanghai trip, i've been blogging madly! on the road, im like typing on my phone and saving it into my folders. and then, i've transferred already and its by far, the longest post in my blogging history! but have to hang in there because i am really very busy these days to upload the photo to the blog cus it'll take a while..

well, overall, the jiangnan trip has been a very fruitful one. not only did i manage to snap out of the whole drama (about 90% there), i've managed to find myself. very fruitful. actually, surprisingly fruitful. this trip really made my tattoo glow. (: i'm very happy that i got a chance and it has confirmed that i am really a wanderluster and i didn't tattoo for nothing. despite having menstruation cramps for the 2nd day and stomach flu for the next 2 days, i still smiled and learnt alot. the toilet experience when i had my period is a complete nightmare. but through this china trip, i really have found out that people are different from each other. we are neither worse off or better off than anyone. we all live by different definitions of life. i realise this when i was in shanghai. and on the same street, i can see a women carrying bags and bags of LV and on the other side of the street, i see a family sleeping by the bench in -4 degrees in the night. if you gave them a bowl of rice, they'd probably feel like the happiest beings on earth. if you gave the same bowl of rice to that woman, she'd probably think you're despising her or something. but they are neither better than any of each other because they are made happy by different things. honestly, these few days back in singapore, i believed that im just different like everyone else. and i was true to myself. when my aussie cousins came to singapore, in the past, i would have pretended to think chinese-ish stuff are funny and laugh when they did. now, i just showed them the shows we watch. like, ai.. which is really cheesy. my cousin, lionel.. i have lost all the respect i once had for him. not only is he being such a fake person, compromising his beliefs and true self just to impress them, he really is the worst brother i know. i won't elaborate much because it really won't look good on lorraine. but i really am very disappointed in him. after going through jc and army, he just gets worse. honestly. i am very disgusted.

well, the aussie cousins are draining alot of my time and also, have been trying to rush MA holiday package by 5 jan. omg. very lagged behind. im so worried. anyway, i am going to create a new blog for the new year. haha. i'll probably blog about shanghai there. shall paste the link when the new year comes. well, here are some of my new year's resolution:

1. im going to be financially more matured.

2. i wanna know more about astrology

3. i want to have 2 days a month for "me time".

4. subscribe to financial times with my allowance

5. till exams, each week i must complete 4 topics of revision

6. afford the $75 charles and keith bag.

7. carry on saving as much as possible for travelling!

8. i want to be true to myself. believe in what i believe.

i have thought through on the trip. i am actually pretty okay with accountancy. but the thing is, i am thinking of pursuing another degree in journalism when i graduate. i want to write. if i wanna utilise my degree, i can pursue financial journalism. haha. hmmm. im very sleepy. im heading to bed now.. really sleepy. well, anyway, i did a bit of fortune telling in china.

my shanghai wish.

okay. Shanghai shall be a turning point for me. Or at least, im going to let it be. I will miss all my friends and family and daddy. and of course, i know i'll miss him. But when i come back, i want to achieve the following:

#1: emotionally, i must be stronger than now. I don't want to cave in so easily anymore. My world is supported by so many pillars, i must remember to not let it collapse so easily. I must remember who and what my pillars are.

#2: i will not cry for any guys below level 3 anymore. Not one tear. I've cried enough in the past month. I promise to not let any guy below level 3 to cause me heartache.

#3: i promise to come back wanting to study and do well. I will focus more on my studies. I will put whatever time i used to use to miss him on my studies.

#4: i will treat my friends better than ever. Afterall, after this, i do realise who really are there for me. And those who aren't.

#5: im going to stop complaining that it sucks to be single and be jealous of couples.. Because heartbreak is alot suckier.

Okay. I hope thats good enough. Well, till now, i still wished he would miss me and call me to tell me he will miss me alot when im not here. But well, once the plane takes off, my mind will too. Thanks, ben.. For the good memories u once gave me. Well, if its meant to be and if he really likes me.. Then im sure we'll create better memories in the future. But whatever it is, i shall assume he doesn't like me that much. But whether he does or not, im going to move on first... Because i've been hovering around you too much, the world has taken off without me already. I now need to catch up with them too.. So. Well.. To alb, reggie, ade tan- i know u guys read my blog, so thanks. And have a good xmas okay?? and happy new year in case i dun get to wish u guys. I'll missssssss u all. Byeee.

Wanderluster: on duty.

Well, last post before i fly off tomorrow afternoon.. im quite afraid it might also be the last one of the year since when i come back, im going to dive into my work plus entertain the cousins who are coming by from australia. then the moment they're gone, i might be clubbing! (: but not confirmed la. so well.. hmmm..

its ironic (wait a minute, since when am i NOT ironic?) how i have been so stifled in singapore and wishing for a chance to fly out of here. and now im presented with this opportunity and i'm like, all missing home even before i fly. missing my friends, missing my dad, missing my life... i really wonder, how the fuck am i going to become a wanderluster if this keeps up? somemore its only 10 days. so, yeah. i better be more independent! but theres so much love here, its so fuzzy and nice to stay. and also, this time i go.. when i come back, i need to execute the changes i told myself i would. and i honestly, can't bear to. but, i really hope to come back the kind of person i aimed to become. but you know, how fickle minded i can be! hahaha. pathetic la, actually. i wished i had more will power.

its just that, over this month or so, i realise there were so many people around me who cared and actually, many people have asked me to hangout during these 10 days! and i want to! hahaha. u see, everytime i promise myself that i'll change for the better with some sort of reward in mind, i always always cave in halfway and immediately aim for the reward. blah! rlly pathetic.

just in case this will be my last blogpost for the year, i'm just gonna say a few things about 2010.

this year has been.. an eye opener. i thought it couldn't top last year cus last year was when i had many many firsts. but this year, it felt long and short at the same time. time seem to pass slower than last year but at the same time, i don't feel that i have lived this year at all. be it the happy moments or the sad moments, somehow i feel that i haven't experienced it yet. though i've laughed and cried.. i feel external eh. im just not in sync with my life. not really sure how to elaborate.

the first half of the year was spent capturing the last moments in SP. i cant believe i was still a poly student in the first half of the year. it is as unbelievable as i was in the start of the year, how i can become a uni student by the end of the year. this year began with loads and tons and plenty of outings with my poly friends. going out almost everyday after school. chionging studies. mugging sessions almost every week. when it was nearer to the exams. so much outings to the point where i took them all for granted. then exams ended and i thought it would be fun to join universal studios. it was a happy start but it just showed me the true colours of some people and it turned out to be the worst job thus far. and then i joined kelly services. its a pretty extreme job. i had privileges that require me to just sit down and ocassionally handing out fliers but mainly just gossiping with my colleague. and then i had jobs where i had to stand at the entrance the entire day for 4 days greeting people and being told, "whatever floats your boat". but of course i learnt alot. and then bridging began. and we went as a big group of SP students. saw joan and shyenne then but then, we called joan the "red bull girl" cus of the amount of red bull she drinks. but yeah. bridging to me was like.. whizzing past. i cant remember much except for all the snacking and gossipping. i remembered around this time that i felt really low and depressed about the transition. of how in my entire 3 years in poly, i never walked to school and back alone. and now, im doing it alone and it felt lonely. i remembered crying looking at SP. then we kept meeting with the guys before they headed to army. and then i got my job at MOM where it snapped me out of being depressed! every single day, lunch hour was the best. we laughed and laughed and ate the best food in chinatown. the big group of temps just became so close we hang out together often. even during working hours, it was so fun .. sometimes walking about to disturb each other. always checking faxes together. then going home together. and then, MOM let us go and school began. then managed to make friends in socio on the first day with wint and wei xia and eileen and hui lin. then monday became the least blue day of all for me. then in pbf, gotta know shyenne, who introed joan and jocelyn in. and we began mugging together and stuff. then in MA, stuck with poly friends who helped one another when answering questions. and in ME, studied it with derrick, who is like a gorgor to me, forever guiding me.. then my birthday, which was a very very pleasant surprise for me! had 3 different celebrations. but all very very meaningful. especially the surprise one at deliziosio. then well, from then till now, it has been one fucking roller coaster ride. my emotions went from so-so, to being extremely high, to being extremely low and even now as im typing this, its still pretty.. roller coaster-ish.

of course, i always say that i wouldn't be me without my friends. especially regina, albert, lorr, nathan, emma, morgan, xiin, nana, ade tan, anita, hong choo, martin, chantel... and the list goes on. for being there.. just sometimes listening to my nonsensical ramblings. sometimes, i might have made the mistake before and im making it again and they just keep listening patiently and advising me patiently. without a trace of impatience. for being there. for listening to me cry. for msging loong messages. for the words of encouragement that meant so much. for putting the smile back when it couldn't find its way back. for all the fun, all the laughter, all the joy. my 20th year living as shirley lim, is definitely a worthwhile one! really really mean it.

physically, i havent lost or gained any weight this year. lol. in between i gained some but i lost it. and vice versa. im not any prettier, but my hair sure is one big change too. i've started taking care of my skin by using toner and moisturizer and even facial masks once in a while. also started using hair mask. also started green tea diet. also using body cream. i got one more pair of piercings. i got a tattoo this year. i started painting my nails alot more often than not. i also rely less on nail salons.. esp since the one at my place closed down! i still had 2 more sessions in my package!! im wearing alot more "high" shoes. my dressing toned down alot. no longer going wild but turning more to basics. makeup now is a necessity. its a second skin. without makeup, or at least basic makeup, i feel very naked. im waxing my legs on a weekly basis. threading eyebrows on a monthly basis. yupp. this year sure has been an improvement.

love wise, i began the year with no one.. then brandon came and go. and then came back again but i rejected him. now, thats one pride i take ok? cus i never eat backward grass and also, he's so selfish. then it was benny, who was sooo nice to me and as alb said, he delivered his heart on a gold platter and i rejected. i really couldn't like him romantically because.. i just cant. and then theres ben. still an ongoing dilemma to be honest. but well.. i guess.. it isn't gonna be under this category for long ba. afterall, im pretty much a jinx in this bgr world. after going through so much, i really ought to learn my lesson. haha. be stronger. be wiser. be more independent.

studies wise, it is in a BIG MESS now. and fuck studies now la. wtf. im now a diploma holder, so thats one big change from the start of the year. and well.. with any luck, a uni grad the year after next?

money wise, im still BROKE! every single year, im broke. but this year, i've stopped asking for money from my parents. so i feel justified to be broke. i do have a savings meant for my wanderlust. but for december, i had to dip ALOT into it because i was soooooo bankrupt. i swear to top it back up. and i have cut down on ALOT ALOT of shopping. im now having shopping sprees once in a few months? fuck. and i buy basics. and goshhh. yeah.

well.. this year has overall been good. i have been through the most exciting bits of my life this year. and felt the emptiest this year. i felt the most loved this year and i also felt like shit for being the heartbreaker this year.

oh ya! heres my resolution for 2010, lets see what i have accomplish..

Shirley's Resolution as of 27th March 2010

1. always set priorities right. whatever that has to be done first, will and must be done first. -well.. erm. hmmm. i dont think i've fulfilled this judging at how i treat my studies as of late.

2. be committal. i am always the first to wanna try things, but i never ever stick of the end of it. eg. driving, wearing contacts.. failed. driving.. well, still having a phobia. contacts - too ex and my eyes are too dry. hmm. i havent been very committal this year. perhaps to my friends? hmm. i need to revaluate this next year.

3. read the papers everyday. at least be in touch with current affairs. fail! at first i did and slowly, esp when i went to uni... gahhhh. pathetic. must reinforce next year!

4. write at least 2 topics on public blog. about anything. well, public blog's pretty dead. and besides, i rarely have the vibes to write something un-personal. but yes, i will brush up on my writing.

5. read up more on politics. maybe get an issue of forbes/times etc fail. but joining soulpancake has given me alot of political stuff i need to know.

6. set $50 at least aside as savings every month. kinda pass? cus i do save $80 a month but... alot goes off as emergency spending. e.g top up ez link card

7. give 10% of whatever salary to parents. start practising this habit..fail. because i dont have enough for self..

8. stop any online dating. fuck them all. defintely one big failure. should reinforce this next year.

9. for at least 4/7 days a week, must sleep by 11pm max. fail. its 3.45am now. point proven.

10. can only buy books after reading those have already bought. fail! in fact, it got worse because i still love buying books but i only end up re-reading bridget jones and diary of a wimpy kid.

11. pick up a new skill. pass! i learnt beatboxing!

12. at least 3 times a week must do cardiovascular activities. fail! unless, messaging is a form of cardio, if not, fail.

13. change hairstyle. pass. lol! rebonded hair!

14. must have at least 1 day a month, where i go out on my own. just on my own. fail. right now, i feel needy. the neediest in my recent memory.

15. learn to cook a new dish every month! and blog abt it! fail. but, i will next year. good one to keep.

16. finish reading the twilight series. fail. but am proud to fail it. have better things to do.

17. start watching a new drama serial (glee? gossip girl?) pass! big bang theory!

18. get a tattoo. wee~ i can say with dignity and pride, PASS. AND DEFINITELY NOT A PASS I WOULD IMAGINE MYSELF GETTING AT THE START OF THE YEAR LOR. (thanks, reggie)

19. club at least 2 more times before the year ends! WEE~ PASS! HAHAHA! shall keep this also for next year.

20. try a new club! PASS! supper club. which made me treasure st james.

21. be the fashionista i used to (in my opinions) be! hmmm.. fail cus im like quite boring eh, these days. but i bought maxi dress this year and dared to wear it. so hmm. ok la.

22. get the goddamn national geographic book! fail. :( am embarrassed esp as a wanderluster.

23. complete L4d2 maps in normal mode. fail. in fact, i only l4d2-ed once this year. fail.

24. be purely happy for people. and not tinted with envy. just pure happy. pass! i dare say. these days, ya, i have my bitchy side. but right, im mostly sincere when i say im happy for someone.

25. go back to yoga? fail. i want to! i'll try geylang serai cc next year.

26. cycle to changi village from ecp at least 2 more times! fail. but have cycled more than once this year!

27. rent a damn car and drive arnd sg just for the fun of it! fail. refer to above. but i have attempted, hor? alb!

28. discover more fun stuff to do in sg. im pretty sure there are more than what i think there is. hmmmmm. fail? what new and fun stuff have i done?

haha. so its mostly fail. but a couple of accomplishments there! shall think of new resolutions in shanghai. and i really need them. but #1 will be, to be strong. and not a weakling anymore. yup. okay la. v late. shall sleep. and well, i hope i'll be able to blog again before the year ends. if not, adios!! i'll change blog for the new year. will link you guys up, dun worry. merry xmas in advance to those reading and.. i hope my blog has helped u somehow eh. (: