it was a LONG day. pms madness.

Sigh. really fucking hate pms. super duper makes me a nasty person to be with lor. i started the day feeling really fucking fucking blue and depressed. plus the weather was so gloomy. i mean, i've got nothing to look forward to anymore. definitely not as much as i did in SP. like, i feel, almost nothing. and so, i whined to albsie and reggie. she's working so no replies. but albsie, well, he's a true buddy indeed. sorry leh. cus i was really almost crying in the train. over nothing. its just that, i really wanna go for the camp because i feel like im suffocating in my own world. i feel like going to have some fun but it crashes with my bridging. and since 1 year's stuff is squeezed into 1 month, missing out 3 days is like missing out 3 weeks of lessons. and im scared i fail because it really does shave off 1 year. and if i fail, let's just say that my parents and relatives will be even more disappointed in me. although my parents never say it, but i can feel that they are a tad disappointed that i couldn't make it to SMU. so, i really need to prove it to them that i can excel and it was because i was lazy and having too much fun in SP that i didn't do well enough to get into smu. so, i've been working hard lor. i tell u, even for the first 2 weeks in SP, i never even do my tutorials/ revision EVERY NIGHT. and now, although we're into the 2nd week in SIM, but i'm doing my tutorials every night and revising. although i still make mistakes.. but yeah. and the thing is, i am not even mugging reluctantly. it just feels like the inner muggertoad that has been buried by tons of fun and defiance has emerged. and im like tying my hair and actually ENJOYING doing my math homework last night. honestly, the first chapter was just a re-cap and it felt fuckin good to do the homework effortlessly and get the answers all correct. but the thing is, apart from studies and my very-much-thinning social life, i really haven't got alot to look forward to. i know, i've been saying that i like this guy right. and i think its part of pms. pms, is like fart. a small spark into the fart, and it becomes a big fire.



well, last night i was talking to an old friend whom i got to know frm icq a long time ago. we've been chatting on/ off and he's from denmark. very funny guy. and i told him about the sim foc/ bridging thing. gosh. he said, we should just have as much fun as we can while we leave. he said he thinks that i've always been too serious about things. he's 25 and he said when he was my age, he was wayyy crazier than he is now. and he thinks he's crazier than me now. ]: wished i could be so carefree and not think so much. but he lives in goddamn europe. and they drink beer after an exam. i just.. have dinner and watch movie. i wanna drink also. realised it has been ages since i had any pubbing session. now that drinking queen is back in singapore.. omg [= awesome. feel like pubbing. but anyway, on that train, i just look at my life now and realise, how i wished, i could breath fresher air. i was SOOO close to just crossing the platform, headed to the airport and get an air ticket to switzerland. i dont even mind travelling alone lor. in fact, i will definitely travel alone once in my life. hopefully to switzerland. but u know, theres 3 things holding me back:

1. my family.
2. my really good friends.
3. my future.

if i just ran away now.. i'd be happy for a while. right? what about the rest of my life? well, i might as well save up.. which i already am.. and maybe i can take swiss lessons also. then, go maybe on an itinerary. idk. i just felt damn damn damn depressed and emotional. just feel like.. if i died, no one will miss me? that kinda feeling. it truly sucks. hopefully, its just me. and my pms. super hate pms. u know, thanks albsie for the words of encouragement. i guess i needed a nice, good stroll. like the one i took home. and friends. oh well lar. i shall go off first. im going to blog about my day on the next post. not gonna mix all that good things with negativity. ciao.

complaints.

omg.. i really wanna get this bag leh. the closing day is this coming thurs. its only $30. but then, i only have $80 of cash to spare. plus this week gonna kbox, celebrate hc's bday, i still need ta get reggie her present and my bro his present. omg. goodbye chio bag. omg larrrrr. $30. very tempting. but kane will only give me my pay next next saturday one lor. damn him la. feel like.. asking for parents. but i wont do that la. not for a bag. i wanna show them im financially independant. although i know my mum always leaves $20 on the table for me. but i cant take them la. im already 20 years old plus im studying accountancy leh. walao. haiz. i will just have to bid goodbye to this perfectly gorgeous brown bag. omg. shall stop online shopping. T.T

since i cant get that bag, just let me rant it all out then. need to get it out of my system. chio lehhhh. zomg!

damn luo han!

slept at 11.30pm sharp last night. was so sleepy anyway. woke up reluctantly to go to work. thought work would be uber boring but it turned out ok. u know, when the engine starts rolling, i just can't really stop working. lol. but its hard to get the engine rolling in the first place. so, i encountered something which i think i will be encountering alot in life from now on.

this girl, her nickname by us is luohan cus of her hair. so anyway, she asked this morning "so which school are you from?". then 90% said NUS. u know how easily i get deflated at this kinda social situations. so i just ignored the question while packing the goodie bags while they are talking about which faculty they're in, what camp and who do mass dance whatsoever. then damn luohan asked me personally, so i just gave my biggest and most customer-friendly smile and said "UOL. accounting and finance" then she "oh-ed". cus before that, she asked martin and martin said dunno etc.. luckily martin said.. but local uni need 3 years. then damn luohan was saying "thought those 2 year courses are unreliable" BLAH! its like from the start, can tell she's the hao-lian kinda piece of shit lor. dog eyes see people low that kind. i know, im prolly also cannot eat the grapes and calling the grapes sour. but thats my business. ok, here's why the few of us can't stand her:

1. she keeps asking about education stuff. like to my colleagues who are both sisters.. one of the sister stopped school at sec school. so she asked the other sister "oh, so you're like your sister? stopped at sec sch too?" KNN. walao. damn .. zzz can!

2. she was assigned to the back one leh. then she kept rushing forward to talk to the visitors although there were ENOUGH people already. and she even went to in front of the entrance to greet the people. and when she greets, she shouts?

3. her makeup is damn thick la. its like, her face and neck are 2 different tones?

4. yeah, so she likes to be in the front right? so the rest of us just go to the middle and talk and laugh. and then, when she pleases, she goes back to the back, leaving the front empty. or if not, she will just sit at the vip lounge de info desk and show off her "sexy" legs

5. halfway through, she's like "omg. i can't wait to go home and watch gossip girl" outloud to herself, but she was kinda talking to me but i just smiled at her.

6. she ran towards me halfway and said "omg. i just attempted to speak japanese" oohh. so wonderful u can speak jap. if u suceeded, maybe u can show off. but u cant even succeed then .. why show off?

she's the typical agree-with-you-in-your-face-so-you'll-ask-her-about-herself-and-she-can-show-off kinda person lor. then she's all goody two shoes in front of our supervisor, also another bitch, colon ar. her nickname we gave her. walao. zzzz. maybe thank god i didnt go local unis anyway. confirm have this kinda backstabbing bitch preying on those geeky students who don't really know that such monsters lurk around them.

phew. feels good to just rant it out. bloody luohan. it has been really quiet in my life uh, these days. maybe all my friends are chased off by me. lol! oh welll. shall sleep early again tonight. ciao~ had a GREAT walk home just now anyway. wonderfully beautiful backdrop. and standing for the past 9 hours just made me treasure my old and squeaky chair more. [:

rambles

omg. so angry. just now, we took a cab from raffles city home.. and there were so many cabs right? so we just walked to the taxi stand and just nice, another guy and his dad or wad, reached too. we actually reached first, cus we were supposed to take the first cab but it was taken by this group of indian people. so we went to the one behind. then my mum opened the door and that fucking lanjiaokia shouted at my mum "YO! we are here!" then my mum just said "go ahead, take the cab". i was really sleepy. if i wasn't, i would have said "chivalry is fucking dead". BLAH! i dun swear in front of my parents anyway. but what kind of fucking man is that?! fucking gay! go die la. ass. so lame. not say there was only 1 cab. there was a queue of taxis behind leh! WALAO. fucking knnccb. somemore shouting at someone ur mum's age?! really?! no respect at all. lame.

ok. so left hse at abt 5 to go suntec to get a black blouse for work for the next 4 days. well, i really ren ok? sigh! didn't buy anything at all. until i walked past times. im a book whore la! i love buying books although i know, the solution is something called the library. but owning my own books is a thrill. and guess what book i got? Sex and the city 2! omg. im so in love with the bling bling cover! plus it has everything about sex and the city! and i signed up for Times membership. i should have done so a loooooong time ago. stupid me. and then i got myself a cup of tall lemon hibsicus from starbucks. its the next best thing after java chip and iced mocha. [:

omg. today is 14th june. guess what is it? its fucking MIKA's concert!!!!!!! omg. ]: i shall have my mini MIKA concert at home..its bedtime for me. long day tomorrow. sian or sian? GAHH! ]: i dont care already. the next time my favourite band/singer comes and no one wants to come along, im still going to go ahead anyway.