I wanna just be anywhere but here...

i just wanna be anywhere but here... sigh.

Think too much

sucky start to the week. some family issues recently.. nothing serious.. just hope it'll be alright by the end of the week. maybe im a little hormonal since pms is here. sigh! i just gave myself high hopes and dashed it too. stupid shirley. yeah, haven't i reminded myself to not go near the boundaries of the birds and bees.. haha. silly me. i even made a wish.. haha. haiya. lame. please don't ask me what it is... i just just take a deep breath and assume our friendship.. which has all along been friendship. until i thought too much .. haha!

sigh. won't i ever ever find true love? i mean, don't be mistaken, but i am still very satisfied with being single.. like really. just that, when will it be my turn to be loved! yeah. so silly lar. oh well, life goes on. take a deep breath.. and move on.. its really the fucking pms thats making me energyless. i don't know why, but i feel like, half my spirit has gone away from my body. lethargic. somemore is martin's last day today.. so yeah. its gonna be quieter, right? yeah.

sigh. feeling so... fucked.

Time to upgrade

i've included the new york times public editor's bloglink on my list of websites. remember i said i need to be more well-read. well, yup.. hahah. its really more interesting than i thought..

Emmy's once again

Good morning! i had a well rested weekend!! Friday headed out to dinner with colleagues at this jap place called Watami. i had this pot of rice which i needed it to wait for it to cook for 25 minutes. hahaha. its was pretty torturous! cus everyone started to eat, leaving me and Gerard to fend for our growling tummies. but mine was good! gerard's was a tad overcooked. hahaha!

Saturday just stayed home and watched tv and nua-ed the whole day.. dinnered with bert. had the $18 prawn porridge. awesome bossums!! fucking sweet lor, the porridge!! then just headed to PP. thinking of getting itouch 3, 32 gb. but the dude said no stock, plus itouch4 is coming out. so, i guess im gonna wait for it ba. haha. might as well..

yesterday, mummy cooked porridge feast at home. yummy ttm! then, just watched movie after movie. lol!! i watched this hongkong one on mio.. called ai de qi.. by gigi leung and chen po lin! super nice leh. its one of those really simple romance stories that is really simple. u don't need to think too much... u're just being led through the entire story! love chen po lin, he's damn cute lar! hahah. [: luvs! then watched the prime minister's rally. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... well, obviously i can't blog negatively against it cus i don't wanna go to jail for these kinda stuff. i'll just say its very food for thought. firstly, they always deny that they are breeding elitism. hmm, what do you think? secondly, raising foreign workers' levies, will it really decrease the number of foreign workers here? thirdly, i just felt that, once again, loads of sugar coating done... but one thing i need to really agree is the part where pm lee quoted Dr Goh: “You will then regard the present condition of the Republic not as a pinnacle of achievement but as a base from which to scale new heights” .. i guess it not only applies to the nation, but also to our lives. hmmm...

well, then after that, i caught "leap years" on okto. though the dubbed parts had abit of inconsistency, and the chronological sequence of the show was abit haywire.. but i still felt it was a good local film! super touching. cried like mad. the thing about singapore films is, the budget for the films are always very low, cus u'll just keep seeing the same ol' places .. but the plot is very rich with emotions. hahah. bravo, Dr Catherine Lim!! [: v v v nice! u guys should catch it. but it'll be cheesy and the plot's predictable. but oh well, just take it with a pinch of salt la.

i've got sooooo many thoughts to blog about.. but they're all jammed. gonna start working now. ciao!

GAHH. family guy's not nominated for emmys!! and Steve Carrell didn't win despite it being his last time gaining nomination since he's not gonna be in the next season of "the office". sad.the office without steve carrell is like.. christmas without santa. it won't be the same.. ]: saw john kransinski on mindy kaling's twitter!!! [: Happy now! well, at least tina fey didn't win the emmy's AGAIN! so yeah. time for new blood!

i love my life now..

at this point in my life, im seriously happy with my life. Haha. I fucking love my MOM colleagues. I never was able to click with such a big bunch of colleagues in my life! Somemore, like, for example tonight.. i was supposed to have a small dinner w martin and hong choo. And 2 hours before knocking off, we just tried our luck around asking who wants to come for dinner. In e end, 10 of us went for dinner! Hahahaha. I fucking love my colleagues!!

today was siong kai and kai xun's last days at MOM before they shave botak. And the whole atmosphere was.. So relaxed. Somemore we had fire drill in the afternoon, lol. Everyone was laughing and joking on e way down.. Ahhahah. Then jenny and david became really really relaxed! And took pics and stuff! Omg. 2 more weeks nia.. Im gonna miss the atmosphere. Im gonna miss lunching with them. Like how all the temps would occupy the pantry for 2 hours eating pizzas/ food frm peoples park centre or 168.. Its really awesome lor. Then we can like be rlly noisy then totally silent. Haha. The silence is rlly comfortable. and we're so... Noisy, we've been complained by 'no noise guy' for more than 5 times?? Hahahahah. :D

Sigh..will treasure time in MOM. U see, no matter how sucky the work is, as long as u have magnificent friends, works gets halved. Ahahah. Hopefully we'll keep in touch.. Sigh. this tues, martin and aaron leaving liao.. So, yup. Its gnna be even quieter. Oh well.. Ahahha.

this weekends gnna be home. :D gonna build my eiffel tower! Yeshh!! :D k. Need ta shower nw, ciao.

P/s: at this point of life, im so contented with life, i sincerely am contented that im single. Hahha. Its like, maybe if i have a bf, i wont even have time for him. Hooo! :D

Status: PASSED!

I passed my bridging!!! Econs for B-. Maths got B+. well, this is marks the start of my uni life i guess. and i guess its only gonna get tougher from here! =D

CUTE stationery makes me wanna SQUEAL!!

i freaking love stationery that is made with detail. i mean, stationery are tools we use to produce work right? and i think good-looking stationery just makes u wanna use them more, hence enhancing the quality of your work. theres this new shop recently called "Stationery island" .. theres one at parkway.. i swear, if the saleslady wasn't looking, i could be in there for HOURS just imagining myself having those stationery and just admiring them!

anyhoos, here are some from modcloth.com.. loves!!!
BUNNY paperclips! cute or what!

these are notepads. looks fruit-ilicious!

The dogbone paperclips. great for dog lovers!!! but still cute la, imo. [:

These are a series of post-its. look at the packaging! so intricate and ... *SQUEALS*

can imagine penning my thoughts down in this cute little paper notebook!!! [: AWWW!

i super ADORE this. i might actually get this with my next paycheque. sigh!! so so so lovely!

Penguin paperclips. How cute toooo!!!

omg. shall quote from the little girl from "Despicable me". they're so cute, i can die!! going out with the guys and anita. am i gonna be the only one missing YOG closing ceremony? btw, i am not usually this enthusiastic about Singapore sports players, but i have to say that i'm damn proud of the home team this time round! so many true blue singaporeans out in the battlefield! so proud of them!!! [: so proud to be a Singaporean! [: Ciao!!

Wishlist yet again

Yet again, modcloth.com has made me fallen madly in love with its new arrivals, esp their fancy furniture and notebooks (paper) ones!! =D i wished modcloth would open a store in singapore. i will be the #1 fan lor. hopefully they come in when i get a perm job. then i can afford their stuffs!

chio bag!!!! love the details by the side!!

this sweater looks damn fucking cosy. though unglam, but i feel, it'll be super comfy in the lecture hall.

marilyn monroe's signature dress. mm, sexy and classy. haha!

omg!! looks comfy and cool! i love it. i've been wanting to look for a pair like this. but plus the shopping.. omfg. gonna be damn ex!

this dress would be good for wearing to work!!!

LOOOOVEEE this ring!!!!!!!! gosh!

the watch looks vintage leh.. omg. love it to the max! i fuckin love vintage-ish stuff!!

nice ar, the key box! hhaah. good for blurheads like me!

if only, i could buy and make use of this boookZomg!!! i'm so serious about getting this. im a bookworm and this, would be perfect! so chio! its like the most good looking bookends i've ever seen.

SUPER love this too. is an acessories holder.omg. its definitely better than my little box.

thats the end. yup. back to work.

Love at first sight

The perfect place to meet a perfect guy is in front of the Eiffel towerduring sunset where both of us would be holding a cup of starbucks each. perfect.

what a miraculous day!

today's really a day of (small but still thankful) miracles.

1. i just found out that im one of the few surveyors who actually had surveyees calling them to pass up the survey. Its really shocking considering that everyday, i get people who slam their phone when they hear my voice, or simply put me to the answering machine when they see my number. And i had 2 somemore.

2. Just now during 6 to 7pm was working overtitme and i actually managed to receive 2 partial surveys! Its like, i was expecting no one would EVEN pick the phone up. And this china girl actually faxed the surveys in! Hahhahaha! Wow oh wow i tell u. miracle.

3. The song 'need you now' by lady antebellum was stuck in my head the entire day for no apparent reason! I haven't heard that song in months and suddenly its just in my head and i was humming to it the whole day.. And just now, i happened to accompany dad to petrol station, and the moment i got on the car, the song played. On GOLD 90 somemore! Wtf. Its a recent enough song to nt be on gold 90 and it WAS!

Well, if its some sign that i was entitled to miracles, then drop me 2 tickets to europe soon enough. Or just make a 'my type' prince charming msg me or appear at my desk tmr! Hhahaha. Thank u whoever's above and controlling these stuff. Ok. Im gnna sleep. Fucking tired. Nightsey.

P/s: it has been weeks since i slept at anytime later than 12.30am... :D
P/p/s: click five's singing on radio. Good way to end the day! :D

I'm happy enough..

Good morning. omg, despite sleeping at 11.30 last night, i am still so damn fucking cui and sleepy now. gosh. and there's so much i wanna blog about. i know i haven't been doing much justice to my darling blog because, its like i don't even wanna come online when im home.. so i just hide away. haha. besides, tv's recently been good. so yup. well anyhoos, tonight have to OT for an extra hour. i really don't mind staying since i'm gonna be paid for it.

monday night was the night where the 25 hongkong tourists were taken hostage in the Phillipines. yeah, i was affected by it because wtf, they were showing the scene live leh. meaning to say that, at that moment, thousands and thousands around the world can only watch but can't help. u know that helpless feeling? its like, its REALLY life and death and not some TV show where it looks like they're dead but actually its all an act. its like, u can really see people being killed at the moment where i was sitting at the edge of my sofa and just watch. yeah. thats how it affected me. and if u ask how come ppl can film and not do anything about it? well, even though there were about 10 policemen there? they also couldn't do much. but i felt they really should have gone soft on him instead of making it even more tense by shooting at the window and trying to enter without negotiating. sigh. the really scary thing about the whole thing was, it was LIVE .. like at that moment, peoples' lives are suddenly being threatened and endangered. i mean, right at the moment, i wondered, what i would do if i were in the bus? omg. i would have cried my eyes out and definitely scare the daylight out of me. sigh, is anyone doing anything about the police system in the Phillipines? i mean, after the incident where the policemen abused the suspect with his clothes off and somemore taking video of him writhing in pain. what justice is there? its really abusing authority. sigh. i know im of no position to comment, but i mean, seeing that video and the hostage incident, how would they expect us to believe in anything? thank goodness it ended, i thought it would never end.. seeing the progress that night.

then watched "human life" on OKTO. they were showing the freak family from indonesia. see this link to know what i mean: http://www.yourdiscovery.com/web/my-shocking-story/episode-guide/freak-show-family/# .. sigh. its like, really coulnd't help again but cry. i mean, imagine u're being ridiculed your whole life because of something you didn't do. i mean, i wonder how many people out there are like that? i know parkway has this guy who suffers this. in indo, maybe the people are poorer so they aren't so skeptical. but imagine, if they lived in singapore. imagine they boarded public transport and what would people's reactions be? i would definitely cant help but stare.. though i'll try not to. when Mr Sahi had the operation to remove the "bubbles" on his face, you should see how happy and thankful he was. you would have given your heart out to them. sigh. and here i am, complaining. what rights do i have? seeing how the doctor was able to touch their lives, i was honestly very very touched. i wish to be able to do that to.. someday i wanna touch the lives of others. but right now, im too selfish. i mean, i still judge. i need to start training myself la. really, these kinda shows are really worth watching. yeah, theres no climax and the commentary is really monotonous.. but gosh, you'll only realise how fortunate you are. Mr Sakim (the elephant man), though he was offered help.. but he wanted his family's permission before he would do it. and his family didn't allow him to go through with the risk. so in the end, he didn't accept the help. here are just some photos... you decide for yourself if you're lucky being where you are.. don't judge me.

this is the "bubble man".

this is mr mamat, the "snake man"

and miss esih, "the lady". btw, she passed away because of cancer.. yeah.

and they had each other. together they formed this freak show and are known as the "freaky family". They threw their pride away for money to feed their families just for our entertainment. and well, luckily they had each other to give encouragement to each other. and they are very very courageous for daring to live on despite being the way they are. i would never have imagined how i would cope or what i would do.. yeah. count our blessings indeed.

ok, moving on.. so managed to catch "mind your language" the same night. i miss that show! [:

ok. so last night was invited to emsy's place for popiah party with her family. hahaha. love popiah party at her place. her sis came back and brought her american/holland/american cham cham friend with her. and also have emsy's relatives. it was a little awkward at first, but its the norm i guess. then we started using our hands to make and eat the popiahs. haha. well, chatting with her family reminds me of how shallow i am. hahahah! i mean, it was very insightful and i definitely learn alot, as always, about the world and stuff. especially news on america. i wished i could blend into their lingo "sixth avenue this.. second avenue that.." haha. i felt like a square peg in a round hole.. but nonetheless, i had a good time though! im not even being sacarstic. hhaha

well now is working time. workity work. today seems to be a miracle day because usually people would have been to afraid/angry/sian of my voice to even wanna hear me out anymore and i am actually receiving calls from people! they ARE calling me! WOW! what amazing miracle news to me. lol! well, i hope it keeps up cus my tasks just gets tougher.

okay la. enjoyed this blogging session. will blorg soon. thinking of chaning blog theme/skin soon. [: adios amigos.

Pep talk

we just had this meeting where the supervisor discussed about how to boost our rates. gahhh. its really not us slacking lor. its really the respondants not wanting to submit the damn surveys. i mean, honestly, i've been trying too.. gahhhh. well, so gonna have to work harder.

anyways, have been texting R for a while. sigh. its like, so sian la. i thought we would be able to hit it off.. but its overrated. really so hard to get my heart to race again! i wonder when oh when will i be able to fall in love again? hhahaha.

im too stupid to fall in love. as in, i screw stuff up. hahaha. don't tell me "no la, u sure can one.." well, its not a matter of whether i can or not.. its more of .. want? i just wished i could feel my heartbeat race again. hahaha.

Good morning Singapore!

Good morning Singapore once again! i just got a pep talk from my superiors! lol! i heard its a norm around here but martin looks q pissed X: dun dare offend him. hahaha! okay, im gonna do a proper post before i begin work!

as i mentioned yesterday, i headed to pasar malam with berty qwerty. hahah! we're just doing what citizens of malay village should, to visit the pasar malam on hari rayas! super nice and festive. so it really managed to kill my monday blues. anyway, cus of pms, i fucking been eating soooooo much over the weekends. and its all the calories-laden food. and i've been lacking exercise in my life. i should really get my ass out for a jog. hopefully this sun can go cycling with MOMsters. cus really have the urge to go out there and just cycle my ass off!! anyway, im going to start eating healthily now! need to compensate for all the excess calories my body took over the week.

this week is gonna be another looooooong week. need to achieve 11% more. i'll just do my best la. i mean, i can only chase. and whether they wanna submit is really up to them lor. hahhaa.

okie. i think i wanna do a letter now. i mean, i've always been procrastinating.. and i think this is an appropriate time la. anyhows, im gnna be busy in the afternoon.. so might as well.. yup. life's pretty mundane these days. but good enough for me.. im not complaining! haha

anyways, super sian cus no latest episodes of family guy or the office. steve carrell has offically stopped doing the office! WHYY!! i mean, rainn wilson is funny. but steven carrell, hes THE guy! haiya. the office wont be the same anymore. hopefully its not a perm thing leh. hahah. oh wells. i'll be right back!

Random funny thing

Good morning world! reporting live from minstry of manpower! hahaha. anyway, so i twit alot when im at work. it basically makes the work alot more interesting!!! [: so anyhows, i was reading xiaxue's twits, lol i know im bimbotic to follow a bimbo.. but she was saying that she found a good word to scold people. its called "dingleberry". lol! and i went to google it and i laughed my ass off. ok, so heres the dictionary.com definition:




din·gle·ber·ry 

–noun, plural -ries.
Slang . a small clot of dung, as clinging to the hindquarters of an animal.



HAHAHAHAHHAH! degrading or what! sounds harmless but 10x effect of the word "fuck". or "cheebye" for that matter. imagine u being called a small clot of dung clinging to the hindquarters of an animal! HA! okie. shall blog proper laters. if not, really doing injustice to my blorg. hahaha. ciaos!

oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, HEY!

heyhey. Waiting for hair to dry. ytd went to k with martin, hc and anita. Was awesome. Teo heng was fucking small but enjoyable la. We took neoprints.. Ahhaha.. Rlly damn childish uh! But i misssss taking neos. Hahaha. Then watched step up 3. Sometimes u just need that kind of shows to remind u to chase ur dreams uh? Hahaha

Am psychologically detoxed after pasar malam-ing with alb. Guess it'll be a tradition to our friendship. :D is bad for my waist, but guess i asked for it. Great having an amazing chat w bertie qwerty. machiam my brother! :DD

Okie. Anyway, with relations to my title.. I was watching olympics highlights.. And rlly proud of our home team la. I feel that timothy from diving did rlly well! Though we had last. And the judo girl and guy were cool too! Maybe this is just a stepping stone la. Think by olympics, we may actually see results!! Jiayouuu! :D i enjoy watching diving. Plus, recently did judo myself, so can appreciate. And to singapore soccer team, rllly rlly rlly well done. Damn haitians. And im surprised how singapore stayed q united. Judging from ppl cursing at haitians on fb.. I cant help but be proud to be a singaporean :DD jiayou singapore!! tmr, female pingpong. Hope we'll get GOLD alsoooo! Okie. Work tmr. :( ciaos..

TGIF!

Seriously, it has been a very very long time since i ever thanked god its friday. i mean, when i was doing bridging, weekends meant that i had to study. and if i didnt study, i would be screwed on monday because i wouldn't understand the lectures. so yeah, but now.. this working life.. i just seriously wanna thank god its friday! LOL! typical OL. im listening to "i will always love you" by Whitney Houston. gosh. if u blast this song and just close your eyes, im pretty sure ur heart somehow will do a backflip. such wonderfully beautiful vocal, such beautiful lyrics.

Hi ho the merry-o

Sian. today hitler kept coming over to my desk to ask if i needed help. fuck man. i lost my freedom. hopefully i get good enough figures to cover my ass up sia. and he gave me his "let me help you improve your figures speech" again. quite sian liao. i might take a day off next week or something. lol. so sian la. no job satisfaction. hahaa. yesterday went to he seoul garden with polymates. lol! i keep telling people i ate at soul garden. X: hhahahha. suck souls. lol! after work, went to make NS specs with martin. lol fucking ex leh. $179?? super ex. oh well. after that, went to seoul garden. had to squeeze. i think im having pms at the moment and i just eat aLOT. i kept taking spring rolls and samosas and i just keep eating teriyaki chicken. omfg. then dessert, was shaved ice with chocolate marshmallow, gula melaka, loads and loads of atap seeds and nata de coco and a scoop of yam ice cream. omg. can just ask me go and die la. hahahhaa! oh fuckity fuck. and cus i really have been very sleepy these days, i dont even come online anymore and i just shower and sleep. plus, i've stopped drinking green tea at night cus i feel that my sleep is more important. i feel extremely kun everyday leh. fuck. somemore i need to be on the phone all the time. its hard to keep my voice lively when im fucking sleepy!!!!!!!

oh, and i keep drinking koi these days. my colleagues are nuts about koi. we even have our own menu. i love green tea with honey with pearls. best combi. ai yu is okay la. but too ex. i only have $6 in my bank as at now. lol! but i think its already very well done that i managed to survive more than half a month with my allowance leh! its something! LOL! oh well. have to stop koi already la. lol. too much of a commitment. looks like i have to dip into my emergency fund. and i DIDNT even go on ANY shopping spree this month. oh fuck. im deprived. its like... gahhh!

i really enjoy working at MOM though. im given my own cubicle with proper desk and alot of cabinets and my own phone, own laptop, own pass, own everything. so fucking private. except that ppl can see what im doing if they walk behind me. but im happy enough! hahaah! i never was treated so well in my past jobs. remembering that i had to scan passes for events for kelly svcs, this is like, king's treatment. even in mazars, i didnt even have my own cubicle. just own desk and little stationery. here is like, i really machiam office lady already. i even dress like one and i even sound like one. yeah. my telephone survey voice is definitely different from my usual voice. hahahaa! i dont sound half as sweet lor in real life. i really love my colleagues also. even the aunties. hahaha!! awesome. hope that this kinda life will go on loop through my life. its like, stress level is average, plus i have decent enough pay, plus awesome colleagues and fucking shiok office life. lol! just that, i hate being the pest that keeps disturbing those respondents lor. oh well.

i really fucking love my non-fb life leh! im serious. i feel like cycling.. but gonna cycle with colleagues next week! yes! finally can cycle. okie la. gotta go back to work before hitler catches me again. ciaos!

Taking a break

i've done quite a bit of work today and im gonna take a short break now. hmm, yesterday was pathetic, i didn't even have anything to reap despite sowing so many seeds. from now on, its gonna be back to the quiet life. hahaha. blogging and working as a telephone-related job makes me feel like im Julie Powell. hahah! just that i can never cook as well as she does. so, last night, we had dinner with uncle john. had salted yolk crab.. which i thought was extremely oily and overrated. gonna stick to my chilli crab la. haha. yeah. uncle john and dad kept arguing about politics. it was nice to hear. lets me reflect abit about politics and recent stuff that happened. so after dinner, dad sent him home and i just enjoyed the car ride. on the way home, dad told me about uncle john's past. gosh. he definitely has a fucking high tolerance for his wife and her family. and i now know why he is such a devoted christian and so so so anti-casino. that poor guy. really. too nice and forgiving already. i salute him to the max.

guess, this just further substantiate my point about staying single. after 30 odd years of marriage.. and such things can STILL happen. wow. and if he had stayed single, he'd be so much more than he is right now. sigh. but why do i still wanna date for the sake of dating? after raising hopes regarding love/ relationships recently, and being disappointed yet again have reminded me of why singlehood is still better. its precisely the kind of disappointment i hate to avoid. yeah.. so oh well.. whatever it is, what matters is that we must stand on our two feet la. i mean, we really really shouldn't tie our level of happiness to other people's actions. i mean, its really really... pathetic. yup. ok. shall blorg again soon.

i love spending time with dad alone. love it. hahaha. or dad and his friends. love to listen in to their coffeeshop talk.

What a beautiful picture. no words needed..

1st blogpost @ work

well, this is officially my first blogpost from my workspace. wow, that came out quite weird - workspace! haha. well, so disappointed cus i actually tried my best but no surveys came through today. i'll work harder tomorrow la.

its sad that now, im going to commit myself to the online world again. i actually felt so much more liberated without being online for the past couple of days. but then, honestly, without being online... its really impossible to get through to the day... so yup. ok la. i'll blog proper from tomorrow onwards. can expect more posts coming up i guess... haha.

till then!

p/s: im going to not come online when i'm home. or shall at least try. haha! yes. must slowly liberate myself from the online world..

hey im back!

heyy! -dusts cobwebs- sry siah! well, im back! ok, the camp was ok la, overall. not as fun as broadrick's camp. but more fun than i expected. i am, expectedly, the most un-spoty person in the entire ulu pandan. the haunted house was sooo scary, i nearly broke into tears. i never felt so scared in my life. we tried out different martial arts and i liked wing chun and karate. the bad thing about karate is the guys seem weird. lol! except for thomas. hahha. there was this guy with superbly long sideburns. ok, i won't deny that part of the reason i went for martial arts camp was to find hawt guys. but i realised that theres a reason jocks don't mix with nerds. hahaha. the first day i realised already.. so i didn't even bother looking good. i actually managed to learn about life through martial arts. honestly, i was nervous thru the entire camp, cus i was afraid of being the reject and also scared that the activities would be vigorous, since ppl there are like, marathon runners. luckily, met felixia and her friend! then it felt alot more relaxed! like, for judo, i realised, im super afraid to fall. yeah, like who isn't. but no matter how many times i practise breaking my fall, i will always hit my back/head/butt. when we're supposed to break fall with a loud slam of the hand and a loud shout because energy cannot be created or destroyed and have to be channeled out. hahha. well, i wouldnt say i've made great friends in the camp, but good enough friends la. hahha. and yeah, im thinking of joining wing chun or karate. but not this month. no money, plus its $40 for 3 month, plus the gee .. is $62. so, yeah. sigh! will think through.

work's really awesome so far. i mean, im slowly getting used to calling people and being a pest and reducing my fear for the telephone. and well, my colleagues are damn awesome. really the best i've ever met. i sit beside Gerard, who's really helpful and friendly! then theres martin.. and hsin ming. then the guys, JK, siong kai etc to make me laugh with their nonsense! hahaha. so sad some will leave at end of the month. then, theres also this guy whom we call "cannot stand noise".. cus.. there are alot of times ahahha! ok la. i think i'll blog tmr! cus im getting my laptop, at last! ciao!

WOO!

i had a good day at work. the work sucks. basically have to call people to rush them to do surveys. and i already got scolded on my first day. by the respondants la. my supervisor is really nice. and so are my colleagues. i've never felt more welcomed on the first day of a job than anywhere else. its like, many thanks to hongchoo and martin for guiding me.. and after work, we headed to clarity cafe and i really had alot of fun! hahaha! they're really awesome. whether its a facade or not, i really had a lot of fun! they seem really good and nice. i def feel better than at USS. hahah.

so tmr's camp. abit regret siah. oh my fucking shit. ok la. ciaosss.

p/s: i saw some of my friends who recently got broke up. and they're using the "find another guy to deal with my breakup" method. and they're revealing themselves in clubs. i dont even wear that low, neither does chantel. honestly, if u're doing this to spite the other guy, or what, i just think its pathetic. yeah, maybe i'll go thru this one day and just shoot myself in the foot for being judgemental today. then will be then. for now, sigh. girls, just grow some backbone for yourself. i mean, really need a guy then can survive meh? shouldn't it be something that.. is like.. dun have nevermind, but if have, its a bonus kinda thing? sorry if i offended anyone la. i mean, im sorry for you that you have to lead your life for someone else other than yourself. and that you tie your happiness to his emotions. sorry to hear that.

Yayapapaya=1

I went to work at mumsy's place in the morning. had to tie 300+ ribbons for some certificates... fucked really. then did some pagination ... then went to orchard mrt to meet daniel fang yu ming! hahah! finally saw him. hhah! he definitely changed! now more built and also more boyish. last time his mushroom hair really v cute la. but i prefer his hair now! he's still soft-spoken. but he is still the same ol' daniel!! just more grown up now. i guess we're grown up already! he still have this "im really soft-spoken so i must be boring" outer shell. but inside, he's full of nonsense! like he used to be!! i remember he would type "yayapapaya = 1" into my calculator! haha. another difference to him is that, he drinks and parties in the uk. well, i didnt find that surprising.. but its just weird cus i never expected the day i'd hear daniel say he'll drink. oh well. so we had lunch at food repbublic since he wanted to eat singapore food! haha. chicken rice. and we kept chatting about his life in uk. sounds so fucking good i tell u. hahah! sigh! wished i can go over also leh. somemore, he'll be travelling in eastern europe. SIGH~~

then we headed to orchard cine to get tix to watch SALT. after that, we walked up and down orchard cine about 3 times? lol! cus alot to catch up about! then finally when time's up, we went to get popcorn and watched. we were quite late. then, the moment i sat.. BOOM! the movie started. i think i didnt have the time to lean back leh. cus it was sooo intriguing! very good movie. i felt its too fast and too intense. its quite a short movie. about 1 and a half hours. but brilliant plot. very unexpected. very angelina jolie. so like her to do a movie that's not a cliche. but still, im on jennifer aniston's side of brad pitt's love life. hahah.

so after that, we headed to bugis to eat at this portugal restaurant called Nandos. daniel said he eats it alot in the UK. so we just try to see if its as good. apparently, the famous dish is their chicken.. where u choose "lemon and herbs" (not spicy), "mild", average, hot and extra hot. i told dan that my level of spiciness is.. about west wing nasi lemak chilli that level. then he said, order the hot. he got an extra hot. dunno why, but we had to queue. fuck lol. he said in uk no need queue.. lol! then it came. i cried like mad. damnnnnn spicy. and he took extra spicy and he barely batted his eyelid. machiam nothing to him like that lor. hahaha. somemore we sat at a place where theres a lot of people watching us eat. lol! then i dunno why but i started talking about "mind your language" hahaha and we started chatting about it!! so funny! i didnt know he watched too. its such an oldie! being with him reminds me of the start of sec 3. hahah. sigh. i miss this guy sia. then we parted ways and i headed home.

nandos chicken!


yup. so starting work tomorrow. monday blues now. ]: oh well. better go sleep now. ciaos.

btw, i fucking wanna go click five's meet and greet! i remmeber in sec 3, i had to sing on national radio to get free tix. hahhaa. oh well. ciaos.

Chanel bag

I promise to earn enough money in the future to ever be able to afford the classic, iconic Chanel bag. im never gonna get the faux pas version of it. [: mad classy.

SINGLETONDOM FTW!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: i have absolutely no pun intended to those happily attached.

i dunno. ever since the sly post from the last time, i don't know why, but i have never felt happier being single! its just, today when we were in IKEA, there were alot of couples.. and for once i didn't feel ashamed or sian or alone. i held my head up, smiled and walked on with dignity! these few days, the more i think of it, the more i feel relationships are really just alot of extra unnecessary worries. and if i have to tie my level of happiness i should feel to a guy, then i really can't imagine being in a relationship. of course, i do have guys that i like and eventually, i really wanna have a family. especially walking down IKEA today. i wanna have offsprings. even if it means i have to visit a spermbank. hahahah!

i mean, i really always take the relaxness for granted. like, remember all my relationship woes? either to avoid a guy or to solve the problem of being avoided. what the fuck. life's so much more than just revolving around a person. so i guess, for now, i'll just.. stay single. and enjoy it! maybe, i'll just be single forever. and hey, it might not be a bad thing lor. i can go round having crushes on guys and stuff. e.g... so happy cus ________ is single. x: i know im being a hypocrite for gloating over ppl's breakups. aiya. just a crush nia. but right, not as though he's single means we confirm get together also. hahaha. and besides, who knows if he has another girl in mind alr. so, whatever floats everybody's boats!

i had alot of fun IKEA-ing with reggie. we met for fen yuans and ba chor mee before going. fen yuans was so disaapointing. too soft. ]:

then headed to 313. i finally found my ash-grey tank top! see wishlist. ahahah! then we headed to queenstown. tried the new mr bean drink. bandung with ice cream. erm, ok la. X: i still like the conventional pearly soya milk! hahah!

we bought this magnet! fucking cute! so cute hor! fuck. feel like getting another one.

so headed to ikea. and we just browsed through 1 round. then went slowly and properly around the second time. we machiam really just shifted to new house and wanted to buy furni for it!! like, we really went to analyse those we liked. reggie was looking for something to put her shoes in. and bags. i was looking for those. but , omg. we saw this fucking gigantic picture of the eiffel tower. i swear.. if i actually knew where i wanna put, i would have bought it! $99! sigh!
this is the new york backdrop one. so chio leh. really breathtaking!

this damn leaf costs $20! lol!!

regina cost so ex. X:

IKEA's hotdog with bun. $1 nia leh. fuck. now i should know where i should go when im too broke to eat.

i swear, going to ikea makes me wanna buy everything. and makes me feel like a stephords wife. it also makes me feel like having children and a family.

my perfect kitchen!

and .. i bought these:


can see the flowers?

actually, i wanted to get the clock version of the alarm clock. but i dunno if i have a place to hang. and also, i have a good clock passed down frm gramps time ..

after that, we had dinner at ikea. really feel like u're living in the perrrfect world at ikea. like, ikea makes u feel as though .. life can really be simple.


MEATBALLS FTW!

Chix wings! hahahah. doesn't it make u wanna drool? -looks at albsie- , u confirm drool one sia

yes! had a really good chat as usual. and then, headed back. reggie's loots are sooo heavy she has to cab home. hahha. i think im seriously going to go back to get more loots when i get my pay.

anyway, im going to start work on thursday leh. haha! supposed to br fri, but she requested me to work on thurs. since i have nothing to do, might as well bring me some moolah to go ikea shop. hpefully this job will be smoothsailing! hahah! ok la. gonna sleep now! tmr gg out again! gonna watch salt! shiok. ciao!

hmmm

i just finished watching "Sweet Tapioca Porridge". its a local telemovie starring Michelle Chong and Darren Lim. no big shots, no sexy scenes, not much of a romance, but its the best local film i've ever watched. i suggest everyone watch it too (somemore, its filmed in Broadrick leh!) .. its just a simple story about how two simple people can fall in love and make it simple still. it really is damn awesome and i really highly recommend it. hope can find online or something! hahah. less REALLY is more.

spent a good national day with the girls. did eyebrows, strolled around orchard, hung around at Applebees and lots of giggling and camwhoring! haha. all done in red and white. shall wait for emma to post the pictures up then paste here. haha.

omg. the movie really affected me quite a lot. i just .. love should be like that. no frills. just a simple relationship between two people sharing the same connection and same thoughts. no need for good looks. no need for good future. no need for money. just.. the connection. wow.. hahah.. well, going ikea with reggie baby tomorrow! i think it'll be fun! hahahah. byeeee~

I've grown up...

well, all these while.. i've never dared to post any pictures of me and sly after the whole thing went up in smokes. but, i was just wondering what i was doing in the past national days of my life.. well in sec 4, i just got my o lvl chinese results. in year 1, i was mugging for FOM. in year 2, i was mugging for effective negotiation or something. and last year, i was nursing a broken heart. haha! so emo right? well, yeah. u know, though i said, i only know how to blog and its kinda the only thing that stuck with me through sec school, through poly and now into my uni life.. i'm glad i had this blog afterall. without this blog, i'd have gone bonkers. imagine the amount of thoughts and feelings i have to bottle up!! well, here goes nothing:

yup. i don't even miss him now. i was reading about the first few dates with him and how excited i got over his lame messages. how i blamed myself for waking up late and missing one of our dates. haha. what a fairytale!

i dare to post and blog about this, because this national day, i'm back on my feet again. yes, although im leading the FB-esque life.. and yes, my studies ain't fantastic and yes, i probably still look the same, if not slightly better than last national day, but i have matured and grown up. i've grown balls (literally please). i'm no longer the girl who seeks for love blindly. and any good treatment from any guy can send me believing 100% of his words. i'm no longer that girl.

i realised that through this year, i have experienced different emotions. alot alot of different kind of emotions. although i do admit that i do view the guys i meet and evaluate if they're the "one" (i guess girls going into their 20s will start doing this already) but i'm no longer desperate for true love. i do want to love and be loved in return, but i want a quality, good one. one that i deserve and one that he deserves. though sly has given me happiness, the sadness he gave me was alot worse than the happiness he gave.

i have stopped using a materialistic point of view to see life. i mean - money, love, good grades, good looks.. do we really use these to define the quality of life? shouldn't life be about appreciating what you have before they're gone? shouldn't it be about basking in the moment. i've decided. i'm not going to worry about the future. yes, i will think about it from time to time because we should see life as a going-concern. but when u're in the moment, bask in it! what is in the moment? what moment, u may ask? well, say if u're with your good friend.. just ignore ur msgs and phone calls and just have a ball of time with them. enjoy the quality of it. because life is unpredictable and short. nothing is permanent, change is a constant. kinship, relationship, frienship.. they change. today u may be good friends, tomorrow you may not be. so while u're in it, bask in it! haha! u never know when u'll never get to do it again!

hahah! why the sudden change in attitude? well, reggie was talking to me about.. sly. and it just came over me. i have always been thinking i'm the same Shirley back then. nah. im no longer the same girl. i even threw away those yellow shoes i wore on our last date. i felt that the striped skirt i wore on the last date makes my ass fat. and the i love NY tee, i've stopped wearing it too. see? we change. so yeah.

just bask in the moment!! [: well, i think i wanna read some of my old emails. reliving the moments before i embark on a new life again. i am soo happy i didn't stead with sly u know. honestly. if i did, i'll be in this little bubble of love. i've no idea how it feels like, but i know it'll make me stupid. but when u're in love, i guess it doesn't matter whether u're smart or not, am i right? haha!!

so my friends, BASK IN THE MOMENT! haha!!!!! [:

Need to make an effort

The problem with me is that, i always never put in enough effort. that is why my life is mediocre. when the going gets tough, i get going (away). i never have enough determination to see through to something. the only thing that i actually put in effort to complete and see it through, is my yearbook. which is why it is my baby. but it wasn't without the pushing and encouraging from my lecturers and colleagues. ok, examples of friends who has something in their life that, they constantly do:

1. Albsie - his drawing
2. shu xian - her bowling/ photography
3. bro- photography/ bowling
4. dad - bowling
5. emma - her studies
6. regina - her online shopping
7. ryan foo - his computer games

the list just goes on.. as for me, it just seems like, theres no one particular part of my life that i put dedication and effort in. well, the only thing - Facebook. but thats not even real life lor. i mean, if i were to label myself with an actvity.. its only blogging. and its not even an achievement lor. i mean, its just rants and complaints. sometimes my english is broken too.

just look at my life.. i tried to start an exercise regime and i gave up. i tried a diet regime, and i gave up. i said i had passion for writing.. and now, i don't even write professionally. then i wanna be the career woman, and i don't even study hard enough. i said i wanna save for london, and i cannot see through to it. honestly, what the hell do i really wanna do with my life sia? when i think back, im so fucking frustrated! what do i really want? and when i decide what i want.. why do i get going when the going gets tough?? even for games, i stopped mapling when i hit level 50+ cus it got tough. once i hit a certain level on o2 jam, i just stop improving? the only thing i've probably dedicatedly done these years, is blogging. and i'm not even getting better. myohmy. what is the purpose of my life, really?

i don't care. i'd better sort my life out and decide what i really wanna do and just stick with it, through thick and through thin. fuck it.

Changed

Yup, got quite sian on my blogskin. i felt it was too unreal... like life isn't always blue skies and white clouds. i actually designed this:

but i felt that it was too arty farty. like very wannabe. what do you think? hmm..

so anyway, while i was playing around with the layouts, i found the chick one. and i thought, why so serious? haha! so, got a funny, cute, light-hearted blogskin. hahaha. anyway, another addition i did was the music. sorry if i put it on auto play. "perfect" by Hedley is .. perfect. love the shouting into the mic part, so i actually put other songs that are "shoutable" too. hahha. hopefully if u're frustrated, u can shout along too!

today was an easy-going day.. basically, last night i slept soo late. at 4am, cus watched "oh su jung vs karl". i swear, its like, finally can see karl kiss su jung. when he did, omg.. i can literally feel the love leh. i mean, i feel most korean dramas are too dramatic. but oh su jung vs karl, is pretty practical. like u won't feel like its a drama leh. hahah!! love much. so i woke up at 1pm. i missed the YOG torch carrying thing that took place at my house there. my bro and dad went to watch. they said the crowd was fantastic. haha. then after that, ate lunch. my mum cooked pork ribs + prawn soup with noodles. we used to have that alot when i was in secondary school. plus she deep fried shallots and put in the noodles. its fart-inducing, but awesome bossoms!!! after lunch, i just laid around on the couch, watched tv and played baking life and watched tv and payed baking life .. then ironed clothes.. then watched more tv and played more baking life. then had the same noodles again for dinner. then watched tv and played ... hahaha. very relaxed. hhaha! but very quiet day today. no one's online and stuff. so its quite okay.


i keep watching "perfect" mv... just sad that i haven't truly felt true love before leh. hahaha. like, a bit of a pity. hmm, like.. i dunno lar. hahah! oh well. just some pics i took yesterday. its going to be.. self-love. haha!




i feel like oliver twist in this outfit!

happy lorraine!

starbucks have really good (but overpriced) deep-dish beef pie!!! the bagel's also good leh! yummy!!

yup! once again, its national day! and for once, this national day, i can really celebrate the country's birthday whole-heartedly. in the past, it used to be projects-crazy on national day. so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! hearts you!

ok, signing off now!

Oh su jung vs karl!

omg..3am now and i just finished watching "oh su jung vs karl".. one of my most favouritest korean dramas ever. super fucking nice. sigh. wished i can have true love's kiss too. like su jung. she's really a strong woman who never reveals her true feelings because she needs to protect her family. oh su jung!! [: karl is love. i super love his smile lines! i think smile lines are fuckin' cute!! [:

we're life's bitches

i think so, don't you? When life is in a good mood, it throws u the best stuff u can ever ask for and even beyond your expectations. When life is in a bad mood, u might as well wished you were dead. Last night, life was hell of a bitch. Econs didnt go too well. I guessed cus i studied too much the night before. I went for 18 hours of solid studying, slept for 6 hours, and carried on 4 more hours. Of course, lotsa facebooking in betweeen. haha. But my mind was so overloaded that it jammed up. So during the exam, although the questions were recycled from tutorials, i can roughly remember the answers and i just wrote what i remembered. Which i know is clearly insufficient. So, it would take a heap of good luck to pass the really low passing mark - 36percent. Though, in my books, 50 percent is still the passing grade. If i can hit 50, i'd pass with dignity. but regardless of dignity, i just hope i can pass...

Ok. So, after yesterday, life got her good mood back and decided to let me enjoy the rest of my hols before getting my head chopped. Cus i realise, i actually have a life now. Haha! Blessing in disguise.. Not showing off.. But.. Yeah! Finally im at the point of life again where i have a proper social schedule. Though its only for a week, but i do look forward to the week! Im now at starbucks with my dearest cousin.. She's doing her homework while i was reading teenage and watching 'its complicated'. Im turning 20 in a month's time.. So i decided to get my last copy of teenage. I read it and i laughed. Lol! It felt like i was holding a jokebook especially when i read 'dear kelly'. I used to relate to it alot.. But now.. I just couldnt believe i used to relate alot to it! Well, another sign that i've grown up. Haha.

Another sign that i've grown up is that, i was watching 'its complicated'. No effects, no sexy vampires, no hawt guys (except for john krasinski. Omg. He's sooo cute in that girly pajamas) but just a good, solid storyline with fabulous actors like meryl streep and alec baldwin. Honestly, as much as i love steve martin, its boring to see him be the goody two shoes and the decent guy u shud fall in love with. But nonetheless, i enjoyed the movie alot. Its perfect for a relaxing saturday afternoon. It was hilarious like mad when it was supposed to be funny. I was laughing out loud like a silly schoolgirl! its nice to see 3 matured people being in a relationship. Its really nice to see that they have irrational sides as well. But its really relaxing.. The songs and the pace of the movie. And they are so fucking good actors i swear! Hahah! Really fabulous, evergreen movie. its going into my list of 'resident movies' thatg i can keep! Haha.

To be honest, i've never felt calmer and more non-chalant of my surroundings in my life than at this moment. Decided to go for a more matured look.. Wanted to wear my striped skirt.. Omg. Someone should arrest that designer.. totally magnifies my already-fat ass. So, since that day i was talking to reggie about all-black dressing, i've decided to try an all-black look. Hahaaha. Black spag, with black working pants folded 4/5 and wedges. I feel like audrey hepburn. I wanted to wear my heels.. But it was too high. Hahha. have been too flats-wearing these days. Ahahha. I feel good today. if not, the best in months. today is the day i dont really care whether im single or not. Socialite or not. Lifeless or not. Haahah! Just, wanna enjoy the day. I feel like im 20 today. Just wished this kind of feeling stays on with my permanently.

I need to quote something from dear kelly..

'don't underestimate your looks or your popularity. Some people have, what i call, "in-your-face-popularity", but many of them are shallow attention seekers who may be good-looking or wealthy.... There is no need to be popular to be a wholesome and nice person. Its better to be real and sincere than to be pretty and popular if your character does not match your looks. Remember, LOOKS FADe BUT A SOLID CHARACTER WILL ALWAYS WIN YOU FRIENDS even in old age"

How shallow of me in the past few months.. Haha! I wonder if i do have the 'solid character' or not. Ahha! Oh well. Gonna read now. loooooovin' it!

Though i'm still q worried about my results nonetheless, but whateverfuck la. I gave my best. Goodbye world. :D its sad if i have to relate my happiness to grades. i'd rather relate my happiness to being thankful for what i have in life! Haha. Oh well. I think i'm too optimistic about life today. Hope it will continue to be like this! I kinda feel like im on drugs, but i've only had 1 java chip. And grande nia somemore. Mmmmm.. The world is a good place! :D

Need an academic detox

okay. today's maths paper was.. easier than expected. ok, i could do the tricky questions. i couldnt do the straightforward ones. ironic eh? its passable la. but i was actually gunning for a 75%. cus maths have always been my best subject since sec sch, plus i really did all the tutorials and exam papers i could.. plus i love maths... so, im aiming for more than a pass. it would definitely give me a great boost if i could get above 75%. but i doubt it la.

so i just had macs supper.. and came home. firstly, i wanna thank the bus drivers for making me feel safe to take public transport so late at night. and yeah... gosh. im drinking green tea now.. to digest the fats. i know im vain. who isn't though? HAH! can give me abit of caffeine to mug abit of econs.. before i wake up tmr to continue. super fucking worried.

anyway, i forgot how complicated the dating world is. i mean, when should u reciprocate? and when does it count as being desperate? better stay off it while i can. look at that asshole. his last fb comment "pharmacy girl! >.<" ... twice somemore. well, whatever makes his dick stands. none of my business. ok la. off to mug econs. FUCK ECONS. ]: sometimes, i see the econs notes, and wished i had done ACCA instead.

This is it!

ok. i've mugged what i can and what i shud (i think). honestly, have no patience to do another paper. did 4 papers. i hope its sufficient. honestly, im pretty confident .. but its the careless mistakes i'm terrified of. ok la. huo chu qu. maths has always been my strength though.. so, if im afraid that i havent prepared enough right now, i fucking dont wanna think of how i'll feel about my econs. i have 1 full day to mug 2 chapters and i didnt do any single paper leh. WTF. GG. i really gotta wake up early on thurs liao. OMFG! scared. ok. this is it!

I AM SO GOING TO FAR EAST PLAZA AFTER MY EXAMS. OMFG. NEED TO SHOP. MY BRAIN'S GONNA EXPLODE.... OMG PARIS, WHERE ARE U? SWITZERLAND, WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. GAHHHHHHHHH.

Giving up? Noooo..

its officially Tuesday now. Maths exam is Wednesday. Econs exam is on Friday. Maths feels alright. i just need to try to remember some of the formulae.. Econs.. now. thats the bitch. i didnt pay attn for microecons.. so im quite clueless. his notes aren't helping. its in broken english.. and i just wished i had the textbook. i mean, im the kind who understands through reading. i really really.. am fucked. deep. so so so so sian. then, i went to look through my fb pics.. and i saw my photos in japan. OMG. the urrrrrrrge to travel, is SOO overwhelming. AND INTERNET'S REALLY FUCKED. OMGGGG. im really on the verge of crying. sigh! i cannot absorb anymore. and its sooo close to exams. fucking fucking hate the panicky feel. seriously. zomg.

omg. I cannot comprehend econs. I am so fucked. Omfcheebsgosh. sigh. Will try to complete 4 chapters tonight.. Stupid me. Never follow study plan. Okok. Chiong. Haiz.

Sigh. The thing about having no expectations in life is that.. A little quiver makes an earthquake. Yup. Nah.. Not gonna give myself empty hopes lar.. Haha. omfgggg. :(

What truly floats my boat?

i havent been very contented with my life over these few months, especially since i left poly. the thing is, i've realised that there are actually alot more outings and social events this year as compared to last year. i think i kinda found out why i wasn't contented:

1. there was a change in my finances. only starting from this year, i forbidded my father to put in money into my bank account. last time, he'd keep replenishing it to make it reach $1,000. not showing off. but just realising. all the money in my bank, is mine. either from (my rightful allowance) or my blood and tears. so this year, my spending power REALLY decreased significantly. last time, i can have both my social gatherings AND weekly shopping sprees? i remember getting new clothes every week leh. im serious. now, its only one shopping spree a month, if not, none. and somemore only at F21. i STOPPED topshop and dp. i only dare look at accessories. this really makes me feel super out of touch when it comes to fashion and stuff. i havent bought anything more than $50 per piece from topshop. in fact, now, i consider anything above $50 expensive! I USED TO BUY $89 JEANS without blinking. now, yeah. i just slammed myself into the reality of adulthoo - the feeling of not having any backups. although my mum still will give me $20 at month end when she knows i dont have enough.. and ocassionally.. under very very desperate times, i'll whip out my credit card.. but other than that, its purely my own money. cus i've been working for 2 months? so i had quite high income and last month, i really wasnt used to the suddenly-no-income thing. and i spent all of my allowances in 1 week. nice. so had to withdraw from the fixed deposit meant for london. ohmygawd. yeah. but i've really grown up, slowly.. at baby steps. i slowly realise.. how it feels to REALLY feel broke. yeah. thats why, not many shopping sprees this year. OMGOSH. i miss far east plaza!!!! fucking miss that fucking place!!

2. its just that, i have always figured university life to be super buzzing and brimmed with parties and friends. and suddenly, it just seemed so toned down compared to my poly life. not that i had alot of parties and friends.. but poly life was more buzzing than secondary school life .. so i naturally thought uni life would be more buzzing than poly life. and seeing how so many of my friends are having the buzzing life too.. hahha. it kinda gets to me. even my SIM friends. and then, there's me. spending saturday nights alone.. well.. i guess i can get used to this kinda life..

its just that, i kinda lost the zest in my life. last year i had yoga and the funny yoga aunties. and occasional jobs and also, because i just started out the drinking nights and clubbing thing.. there was a thrill. now, its not as exciting anymore. weird how when u thought ur life would be quiet, and it turns out noisy and i remmebered how i wasnt home almost every saturday! where the fuck was i?!?! gahhhh. well, i guess slowly, i just get used to the quiet life. the occasional hangout with my close friends. i mean, i guess life changes.

but i guess, its nothing wrong. im calmer.. and i do spend more time with my family.. haha. enjoy dinners more and just have more family time lor. yup. allows me to think properly also. hhaha. i mena, i used to lead a life where i was so much stronger at dealing with being alone. i could watch mvoies alone. have dinners alone. and now, i find it abit embarrassing (and expensive) to eat alone outside. haaha. i think i wanna watch "precious". think i can watch that alone. its an inspiring show. and also, i soooo can't wait for bridget jones 3 to come out leh!

ok. back to being the hermit crab. haha. safe in my shelf and just enjoy life while it is at its calmest. hahaha. hmmm... maybe, it isn't so bad afterall. hopefully can catch up with some old friends this month though. huiwen has recently msged me. daniel fang's back! and augusta has been talking to me tooo. soo yup. hahaha. i havent caught up with these people FOR YEARS! especially augsta. 8 years leh. hahaha. well.. she's so happily attached now leh. hahaha.

really.... of all the graduates from IJ OLN seriously are ether pretty, smart, sucessful, attached or simply, ALL of the above. and i'm neither. quite disheartening lor. oh well. but wel, i feel im succesful in my books. hahaha! need to praise myself a little. i mean, its ur life.. u determine what success is. what good is. what bad is. even if it doesn't follow society's yardstick.. its still your own. because its ur life, its ur own thoughts that count. but unfortunately, alot of people don't really realise that. we see what the market standards are, then follow those standards and think we really have to follow these standards. i am fucking guilty of that. but we must always constantly realise this. i mean, we all have our own limits and strengths. yeah. i mean, there are times when i can do well... but i know that i dont deserve 100% credit for the good work. but there are also times when i get results i dont think i deserve. unfortunately, life's like that lor. so, u have to appreciate the process. not the results. yeah, easier said than done. but i guess its just some words of comfort i can give myself.. hahaha!

well, i had a great time listening to enrique iglesias songs!! so nice. so sexy. ok la, guess im off now. ciaos.