yup. i don't even miss him now. i was reading about the first few dates with him and how excited i got over his lame messages. how i blamed myself for waking up late and missing one of our dates. haha. what a fairytale!i dare to post and blog about this, because this national day, i'm back on my feet again. yes, although im leading the FB-esque life.. and yes, my studies ain't fantastic and yes, i probably still look the same, if not slightly better than last national day, but i have matured and grown up. i've grown balls (literally please). i'm no longer the girl who seeks for love blindly. and any good treatment from any guy can send me believing 100% of his words. i'm no longer that girl.
i realised that through this year, i have experienced different emotions. alot alot of different kind of emotions. although i do admit that i do view the guys i meet and evaluate if they're the "one" (i guess girls going into their 20s will start doing this already) but i'm no longer desperate for true love. i do want to love and be loved in return, but i want a quality, good one. one that i deserve and one that he deserves. though sly has given me happiness, the sadness he gave me was alot worse than the happiness he gave.
i have stopped using a materialistic point of view to see life. i mean - money, love, good grades, good looks.. do we really use these to define the quality of life? shouldn't life be about appreciating what you have before they're gone? shouldn't it be about basking in the moment. i've decided. i'm not going to worry about the future. yes, i will think about it from time to time because we should see life as a going-concern. but when u're in the moment, bask in it! what is in the moment? what moment, u may ask? well, say if u're with your good friend.. just ignore ur msgs and phone calls and just have a ball of time with them. enjoy the quality of it. because life is unpredictable and short. nothing is permanent, change is a constant. kinship, relationship, frienship.. they change. today u may be good friends, tomorrow you may not be. so while u're in it, bask in it! haha! u never know when u'll never get to do it again!
hahah! why the sudden change in attitude? well, reggie was talking to me about.. sly. and it just came over me. i have always been thinking i'm the same Shirley back then. nah. im no longer the same girl. i even threw away those yellow shoes i wore on our last date. i felt that the striped skirt i wore on the last date makes my ass fat. and the i love NY tee, i've stopped wearing it too. see? we change. so yeah.
just bask in the moment!! [: well, i think i wanna read some of my old emails. reliving the moments before i embark on a new life again. i am soo happy i didn't stead with sly u know. honestly. if i did, i'll be in this little bubble of love. i've no idea how it feels like, but i know it'll make me stupid. but when u're in love, i guess it doesn't matter whether u're smart or not, am i right? haha!!
so my friends, BASK IN THE MOMENT! haha!!!!! [:
No comments:
Post a Comment