reflections

sigh. i cannnot get to sleep and once again, i couldn't help it but look at my digital cam and see all the wonderful pictures i've taken with my friends and i cant believe that i was still in poly just this year. And its over. School's starting in about a week's time and school isn't school without martin, nathan, chantel and khng. I just miss the times we'd meet up and walk to school together. And joking around with all of them. Now, its just weekly/ monthly meetups. No more daily. To be honest, im never sick of them. Yeah. I just cried. Sigh. I rlly wished we can go back to those times once again.

How i wish that my SIM life would be as fun and exciting and funny as SP life. Sigh. Looking back though, i do feel like i've matured alot. and i've been through alot as well. i've seen through people.. I've learnt to be less naive.. I've been through the best times, i've been through the drunkest times.. I've also learnt to be stronger. I wished i wasn't so strong though, because if i wasn't... I wouldn't really care about my feelings and do stuff recklessly which i might have appreciated? Sigh.

Well, i've definitely gained alot of weight these days. I think i'l going to jian fei already. Haha. Yup. I mean, i've cut lose alot recently... So yup.

Sigh. Im nt gg to MOM tmr. It just feels so weird and sad. I miss lunching with them and all the laughs and fun we'd have laughing at no noise and stuff. Will miss gerard's voice cus i hear it so often.

And its so fast.. Tmr albsie and martin, one of the favourite boys of my life are heading to NS tmr. They've grown up huh. I feel worried and nervous for them. Not that i dun think that they're independant enough.. But just.. Sigh. Im gnna miss them much. Sigh.

And also, i rlly like him again. Ya. Same guy as the '30 letters' post. My birthday felt special just spending a few hours with him. Haha. Ya.. I wished i had the courage to say it. Or the courage to put him aside and move on. I just treasure our friendship way too much to gamble my feelings on it.

But u know, i have absolutely no confidence in relationships. I feel more confident dealing with friendship anyway.

Oh well. Im feeling fucking emo la. somemore, with albsie in ns, i've got 1 less avid reader. Omgggggg. It feels so weird that the changes i've been expecting is coming true.

How the fuck do people grow up???