Dear so and so,
i can't mention your name because more and more of our mutual friends read my blog. yeah. and also, its best to not mention your name lest things become awkward among us, although my closest friends do know of my ever-so-long crush on you since a couple of years back. i remember meeting you a few years back and was thinking to myself "wow. this guy sure is funny". i just came out of secondary school where i hardly had any opposite confidante. and there u came into my life, all so magically.. with your incredible humorous personality and looks. i've always regarded you as a normal friend until one day, i realised that i really enjoyed your company. and i really just loved being wherever you were. i remember when we were in a group outing once, and you were asked the question of whom you will pick as your gf.. and u said me. that was when i guess the whole thing started. slowly, you became my good friend. we went everywhere together. although we might spend time in a group, but we were mainly always talking to each other, either playing word games or just chatting about really lame and funny things. we never really dug into each other's personal lives. i remember, one afternoon, where we decided to catch Ip Man. it was just the two of us. though i bet you didn't feel anything, i felt pretty nervous at first. but slowly, i just got used to your presence. and it felt rather good. i didn't dare peel into your personal life. then, i remembered the night where we and another friend had to stay late and we asked each other about our personal lives. then i found out.. that i was actually your first movie date. hahahaha. its so weird using all these terms.
as time passed, i really grew very comfortable with being with you. no more heart racing, but everything is just filled with loads of laughter. however, a few times, when you'd play with me and grab my hands and i'd feel my heart race. haha. and i'd be damn nervous about it. but all went well. i remembered, even during the time when i was supposed to like sly, i very much had wished that you would be jealous and stuff like that. in case you didn't notice, i kept looking your way when i looked at sly. yeah.
as time passed, i realised that i became so comfortable with you, that i really hoped you could be my boyfriend. i love your family. and i love being with you. though there isn't much heart-thumping going on.. i think i can live with that! so many so many time, i almost told you how i felt. but something stops me from doing so. because when i do, and if we screw up, i'd lose a good friend and a lover. that's too hefty for me. furthermore, im so shitty at relationships, i'm definitely gonna screw up. and i feel there are much better girls out there for you. hahaha. i definitely wanna see you happy. and it seems like you very much are. you are also very innocent la. u deserve a wayyy better girl than me. somemore nowadays, you get handsome-r. i just become less and less in your league these days... ahaha.
When asked, why do i like you? i guess, i like it that you aren't romantic. and you are just simple. and how you are sincere in your words and you never use fancy words or wear fancy clothes. how, although u seem to be really mean to your mum, you really love your family. hahaha. although u seem really petty alot of times, you were mostly kidding. hahaha. you're just a really good person deep down. nothing more. nothing less.
although we hung out countless times, but you know, i really still look forward to meeting you.. and hopefully we will ever go on a date again leh! haha. just so you know, no matter how many cute guys that come my way, you'll be number 1. im serious. its just that, i really really don't have the courage to ever tell you how i feel because i will hate myself if i ever kill our friendship. hopefully, you'll ever know how i feel. otherwise, just seeing you finding the good girl for yourself will cheer me up. [:
i'll miss your presence because of you going into army. and that you wont be in my life everyday like you used to be. i will miss how your jokes made me laugh. and when i tell jokes, you carry them on for me. i miss fighting with you. i miss arguing with you. i miss messing your hair. i miss imitating your movements and making you irritated with me. i miss you. i really do. well, lets hope that we can at least sustain the friendship... and..
if you ever look past my way, TAKE A CHANCE ON ME! [:
Yours sincerely,
Shirley.
No comments:
Post a Comment