i'm supposed to be mugging for my economics, but...

Im so sick of mugging! its like, i came up with a mugging plan. by right, i'm supposed to have already finished revising 3 chapters of economics. now (at 2.20am), im only at the halfway mark. and i started at 8pm.. the thing is, though i didnt turn my computer on, i kept refreshing my fb page and checking my phone for txt messages. gosh man. really can go nuts. have got seriously low concentration span!!! what the fuck is wrong with me? all i want is to just laze around the entire day. ok, so what if i was almost dying last night? i am well today and shud really have mugged. oh fuck. well since im already blogging.. might as well go on..

last night, i vomitted 4 times.. (yeah. cherries still taste sweet even as vomit).. and diarrhead about 7 times? it was so scary. cus i felt damn fucking weak and i had a fever. so i managed to pull myself to go to the fridge to get the fever cooling thing. applied medicated oil to my tummy like how my grandma used to (rub the medicated oil between your palms and then gently place them over ur tummy. it works better if it was grandma's hands) .. i told myself, if i vomitted once more, im going to wake my parents. and luckily.. i didn't. so i managed to survive and woke up at 3pm today. was really fucking scary like a nightmare .. except it was real. the pain in my tummy was really unbearable. i really thought i'd die.. ]: yeah. cus felt so weak and cold.

at least, im glad i managed to stay independant through this. i guess i really need to learn to take care of myself now that im 20 and slowly going into adulthood. rather, singletondom in adulthood. hahahha.

sigh, u know what makes me more envious than seeing lovey-dovey pictures of couple? seeing the pictures of aeroplane wings in other ppl's fb pictures. how i yearn to fly too. but right now, im stuck in sunny singapore with my econs notes.

don't get me wrong. i dont hate singapore. i love singapore. day by day, especially after watching the video on mumbai's bombing attacks.. theres not a day i am not thankful for the safe feeling i get in singapore. how im able to walk to my kitchen at 2am and make it back to my room alive.. i mean, if it was in mumbai.. terrorists would just barge into ur house while u're asleep and kill your children. and im thankful for the house i live in and the nice family im born into. and how i still know that i have my parents to depend on.. no matter how independant i try to be. its like, when i run out of soap and money to buy soap.. i'll go to their cabinet where my mum usually stocks up on soap.. hahaha. or how she'll come in and turn the nightlight off when its morning and so on...

the thing is, im suffocating in the enclosed place. i need a wharf of fresh air. i need, to look at more greenery instead of buildings and books and computer. u really think i like depending my life on facebook? it sucks. i'd rather not. but where else do i spend my time on when i dont fb? i'd rather spend my time constructing a better life to live in. but when i need to study, fb is the only way to let me have a break. sigh. yup. pathetic life i lead, i know..

i so fucking miss the feeling heaving a sigh of relief when the plane takes off.. and the exciting feeling of going for new experiences! havent been out of the country this year.. and i dont think i will be this year since the aussie cousins are coming to singapore this dec. well, just pray that i can go to london next june.. just some random pics.. from 2008 perth trip..


i will always remember this funny photo!!! hahaha
the sun will always shine no matter what!

well, im still at 1 and a half chapters. shall head to bed lar. going for breakfast with sx tmr.. hopefully will be able to mug well tmr. jiayou shirley!!! goodbye~