When you're happy and you know it, you smile

im not happy. really. no matter what i watch, what i do these days, i cannot really feel happy through and through. most of the time la. sometimes when im with friends, i feel happy. then it goes away. im really very bored. its like, im so bored with life, even when i have stuff to do, i feel bored too. its like, i chose to be bored. its just.. seriously, nothing uplifting is happening in my life. i've been trying to create something, but nothing is coming back. its like, i know, i should rest while i can before school starts. i really wanna leave town. just go somewhere and do something fun. its like, all my friends now have their own friends. and i just don't wanna interfere and be needy. its like, in front of acquaintances, i still see a need to put up a happy, cheerful face. because, i don't think looking sad is a very good thing. its like, life has really come to a standstill. where only my life is at a standstill and everyone else's is moving as per usual. how nice. its like, i really wanna do something substantial. something, i'd be happy about. but i dont know what? or where? or when? its like, i come on msn and i dont even know who to talk to anymore. and what to talk to. where were the days when i'd be msn-juggling with 10 convos at a shot. its like, i cant even sustain a conversation anymore. its just me, really. nt anyone else, because...it seems to be the case with almost everyone who msns me. i know, its superficial to be upset about these kinda shit. i dont know, i dont think going sim will be any better. i need to really lower my expectation of life for good, before i get too disappointed with life and commit suicide. i really really .. have nothing to say.