its like, every single moment these days, i have thoughts running through my head. just thoughts about life, people... i mean, i used to be a people-watcher.. but now, its very very bad. and it takes my focus away from things that i shud be focusing on, like making my life a better one. i find it really irritating. seriously. it used to be good, but not if im supposed to be enjoying myself, and i think to myself : "one day, im gonna die. i wonder how that feels? like, i wont be able to do stuff in this body anymore. will i even notice im dead?" that kind of stuff!! and u know whats the cure? hanging out with SP friends?!!?! it got less this afternoon, but alot came through my head in the taxi home.
i mean, honestly, i really cannot imagine my life with a boyfriend, which is supposedly the thing to happen when u're in your 20s. i cannot imagine my life without my parents. im not cursing them, but lets face it. i know it too. one day they'll get old.. and the undesired will take place. i cannot imagine my life as an old person. as a middle aged person. i just cant imagine myself so old.. and mature.. and auntie? i just can't imagine growing up. i dont even know anyone who will probably like me for who i am. my personality is quite.. shitty? its rare for anyone to even carry a torch for me for even a month lor.
but then again, when i was in primary school, i never saw the day i'd turn 20 either.
sian. i was supposed to come online to watch my drama. then now its 2.48am and i just finished tagging willie on my pictures. looking thru the pics. sigh. oh well. thanks albsie for being here.
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