i feel like a loser

well, in the past weekend, i met up with lionel. and honestly, i've never felt more inferior than ever. firstly, he passed his driving like 2 weeks ago and he's going down slopes of multi-storey carparks. and me? still having the phobia of going behind the wheel. i figure that my blurness will surely kill somebody in time to come. so i'm really really scared to drive. i dont think i'll be able to be responsible enough to drive properly. sigh. secondly, he's studying in smu. doing sociology. omg. smu is my dream uni since i was in sec 3. and socio is my favourite subject now. he's really leading the life i wanna live. and that day we went past smu, and my another cousin said, "hey, look, your future school". and i just .. my heart wrenched. i felt fucking envious. and small. and inferior. so i was quiet through the journey. lorraine is like, smart and pretty even without trying. and she gets guys flocking to her without trying too. then, just now, kieran is in a relationship with this fucking chio girl. omg. kieran leh! sigh. i bet alyssa has a bf too. then everyone has something they're good at. except me. i feel really like a loser. like, im never good at anything. i dont have alot of friends. i dont have a very busy social life like regina. i dont have a bf. i dont even have any potentials. like, i just live in my fantasy world with my perfect boyfriend. and yeah. thats where i get love. and when it comes to my studies, it used to be my strength. but i dont want to be the "muggertoad" anymore. sigh. i don't know what drives my life anymore. but i guess, the way to go now, is to study hard, hopefully i can do well enough to do a masters in london so that i'll feel worthy about myself. to be honest, with the amount of playing i did in poly, i dont deserve to go smu. and as i've said before, i will never trade those playtimes for anything in the world. never. so, yeah. what do i really want for my life? if i wanna boyfriend, i just need to accept brandon's date. but i'll be dating a douche who will probably break my heart. sigh. why can't i fight for what i want? i really really will wallow in this big bag of self pity sooner or later. everyone's prettier than me. everyone's luckier than me. everyone's life seems more awesome than mine. sigh!!!! oh gosh. i just dont know. what should i do? someone throw me an answer?