The experience.
Well, we went in earlier than expected. then nick was already prepared. lol. so we made our payments (yup, $100 each) and i decided to go first because i don't think i can deal with the agony of waiting. so i went in. and the print was done. very nice. cursively and elegantly written on that piece of fateful paper - "wanderluster". just in case you guys are wondering what it means, it means to be born with the passion to travel. so, i had to lie on my right side. he had to get the machine started and the sound of the machine buzzing really scared the hell out of me. i was like "oh my fuck. oh my fuck" even before he started. then, he began. it was searing pain. like, a very thin piece of blade cutting through your skin. like, pen knife cutting through you. it was damn fucking horrible. the pain was so sharp i grabbed the sofa until my thumb was numb. when he paused, i was like "is it done?" and he was like.. "nope. only half an alphabet done". towards the middle of the word, it hurt like mad! cus i think it was the bony area. the whole time i was like "oh fuck. ohhhh fuck. ohhhhhh fucking cheebye" like as though i was having very very kinky sex. but no. i would never wanna experience that kinda pain ever. its totally different from ears piercing. finally, he was done and when i saw it, i just smiled. the first thing i said to nick was, "how the hell do you do so many tattoos?!?!?!!!" but at first, after it was done, it was burning! like, as though the blade never left. i went out, hair messed up, hand covering my rib.. and there was this angmoh couple who was about to choose their tattoo and they asked if i could show them. but its bandaged up.. so i couldnt let them see. next was reggie and when she asked how was it.. i told her honestly. so i waited for her turn and saw these 2 ah-beng kias tattoo-ing also. one of them listening to music.. the other playing psp. as though nothing happened! LOL! im amazed. and well, cus the door of the shop was opened and a lot of people looked in and i definitely know hw it feels to be scrutinised. but i felt proud. i really did what i wanted to do! reggie came out about half an hour later and we both laughed like mad while covering the fucking painful wound. we couldnt stretch, couldnt reach up. and as for dinner, we were afraid to eat this and that.. so i had jap pizza and this korean potato ring thing. lol. on the bus, i felt abit paralysed as i couldnt really maneuver properly. then, cus nick never really told us what to do, except he said have to apply lotion after the 4th day when it scabs. so we googled and i soulpancaked.. and yup. just do nothing lor. but must be gentle. when i removed the bandage, it was gross. is like a bloody version of "wanderluster" lol! last night when i slept, i could lean on my left side cus it will burn up. so ya. but today, its okay! i cant feel the pain anymore and its alot less sore! haha.
only this morning that me and reggie truly felt the sense of accomplishment! hahha. like after what seems like forever. the sad thing is, we cant show it off. but if i had wanted to show off, i'd have done it at my chest. but nah. its purely a reminder for me. as for reggie, she now has a part of falloutboy on her. its definitely fuckin' life changing for me though. i wont get another tattoo for the time being. maybe 2 years later? or many years later. haha.i know many people disapprove of us doing this because our body is something god/ our parents gave us and we can't dirty it. but then, i feel.. if you're doing this for yourself.. then its alright. just like why people booze and smoke and indulge in guilty pleasures. i just feel that, if we don't try these now.. we probably wont ever have a chance. taking clubbing for instance.. i never regretted trying clubbing and yes, i was hooked for a while but now, im a convert. to pubbing. im getting too old for clubs and also, its too noisy for me. i guess i wont mind popping in there again once in a while but not as frequent as this year anymore. i've done my share of trying. smoking, tried. and i wont get hooked to it. in fact, i never craved for another ciggy since the first (and last one) i had when chantel offered me one. drinking, well thats one habit i'd like to keep with me for life. wild partay stuff, tried. being wasted, tried.
in slightly more than a year's time, im going to go into adulthood. step into the bloody working society. placing myself with all the working class people. maybe, i'll lose myself, lose my head in there trying to vie for a good position, good money, good power. maybe in future, i'll not be like now, thinking this much about life, dissecting it so much you only see the particles. i really hope i do not become like that, but somehow, i feel i will. and i do hope i still have my friends around me to pull me back out of that quicksand before i sink in.
but whatever it is, this is probably the reason why im trying to be as crazy as i can while i can. because i only get to be Lim Xiang Yi, Shirley for one life time. when this one dies, there will never be another Lim Xiang Yi, Shirley for me to takeover. since i've always dreamt of travelling the world, i must be reminded.
i've become the muggertoad i used to be once again. studying hard for tests. trying to complete my tutorials. pouring 3 cups of coffee down my throat so i can stay awake in lectures. im putting myself back on track because i can do so with a peace of mind, knowing i've once lead my life. from now on, the road is taking a turn. no more party girl, alright, maybe the occasional wildchild, but thats all.. its time to face adulthood. haha. i know that previously, i couldn't put down my friends, my life in SP, my past, my former glory.. and its not like i've forgotten them. it will always be inked. in my heart. permanent. for life. but its like to move on while holding on to this thought. time to carve new paths. time to explore new lands. time to be a different me. time to be a grown up me.
hahah, whats with the sentimental post huh! hahaha. well, i wanna say this once and only once. i'm very very proud to be who i am. despite the fact that im overweight or have single eyelids or is pimply or will never be skinny ever or that i might jolly well be a spinster for life, perhaps swinging from one guy to another.. i might be a bitch at times and i've become more and more selfish as of late and i finally can put my foot down to NOT do the things i don't like and focus of the things i like (as compared to the past, where no matter whether i liked it or not, as long as people ask me to do, i'll do) and despite the fact that i didnt go to local uni. or that im not doing what i love - writing (as in, professionally). or that im reading the newspaper enough. or that i scold too much vulgarities. or that im loud. or that my jokes cannot get any colder. or that all i do is fantasize but hardly doing anything about it. or that this list will just go on and on and on... but i just need to say this, to my parents..
thanks for bringing me to this world. if i could do it again, i'll choose to be Lim Xiang Yi, Shirley. not anyone else. not richer. not prettier. not skinnier. not caucasian. not with better skin. just me. like this. i'll do it again. :D
p/s: it feels soooo good to type a freaking good post out. i feel good.
p/p/s: i don't think i like j. im just saying it because it has been a long time since i went out on a date where i enjoyed myself. i don't think i enjoyed it because i like him but rather, i just wanna be appreciated. and all these while, while making myself think that i like him because it feels nice to have someone in my life i can shower some concern with. especially since all my dear boys are in army. lol! nah. right now, im not in love with anyone. nor do i like anyone. im good this way. hahaha. well, what the future holds, nobody knows!
p/p/p/s: on tuesday, we headed for SIM's international student's night on wint's invitation! and it was really fun. very very tacky. the whole concert + dinner buffet thing. very very tacky. but i had fun. and also, theres a scene i'll never forget. cus we had to play this game called "guess the national anthem" game. and they played the national anthem of Myanmar. and this guy went up to answer. and while answering, he just cried. i saw another girls from the other table crying also. omg. very very touching. one of the most touching scenes. where despite his country being in turmoil, he still loves and misses his country. and to cry on stage, that takes a true man to do it. especially for his country. im just saying, after going for that international student's night thing, i truly appreciate being in Singapore, my homeland. say all we want about this stinky little place, but its our home. our roots are here. i took that for granted. and that night really woke me up. yeah.
p/p/p/p/s: i really haven't blogged such a rational, sensible post in a long time. im proud of me. :D
p/p/p/p/p/s:
November is Kevin Malone's month on my calendar. i need to post this, cus he is a freaking accountant, but undoubtedly the funniest character in "The Office"! LOL!
No comments:
Post a Comment