Now.

This song means a lot to me because when i was still in the process of recovering from my heartbreak sly left me 1 and a half years ago, i played this song over and over and over again the night i tore our picture up. though i swore off love, but inside, i told myself, if i ever do fall in love once again, i want it etched in my memories like a footprint in wet cement.

i saw the video once again in my newsfeed tonight and despite having a test which i have very very inadequately prepared for, i felt the need to post it on my blog to just.. remind myself to just be in the moment when it presents itself. This time, i promise to not try too hard to not screw it up, but instead, savour every moment possible. what tomorrow brings, i don't know. who we'll meet tomorrow, i won't know either. after all these years, i've come to realise everything, big or small, is capable of turning anything upside down. no matter how strong a relationship is, no matter how strong someone's life is, no matter how hard you've work, no matter what you have achieved, anything is capable of changing things into images you'll never have expected or imagined. so, whatever it is i'm in, im just going to close my eyes and remember the moments. whether im going to end up heart broken or tired .. or even happier eventually, im not going to care. and i don't really wanna know. because right now, i just want to give it my best so that in any case, no matter where this heads, i won't end up in regret.

"后来我总算学会了如何去爱
可惜你早已远去消失在人海
后来终于在眼泪中明白
有些人一旦错过就不再"

i'm probably sounding very naive and in a couple years time and i read this, i might mock at myself for being so simple minded.. but you know what? im only 20 once. haha! and i dont wanna be like what the lyrics said it to be.

honestly, i thought that my heart died the day i swore off love. and along the way, i've been trying hard to get the feeling back because i really didn't like the empty feeling that was left lingering. though i no longer hated the empty feeling inside, but i guess its nice to see my heart alive once again. momentarily or everlasting? nobody will know. so i guess, as time passes, we'll lay the tiles on the floor, perhaps 1 tile at a time? or 2 tiles at a time? and slowly create a path together. it might lead to a dead end. or it might lead us to a good place. no matter what, i just hope (and somehow, have enough faith right now to say this) that when im going to turn my head to see what kind of path we've created, im probably going to smile. at least, thats what i hope.

okay. super sleepy. talking gibberish. gonna hear the song for the very last time and then its bedtime... goodnight. :)