i have been reading rozz (from shan and rozz show)'s blog for almost the entire day. and she truly is one inspirational blogger! she's not the ghandi sort of inspiring! but she knows how to tell you about the reality of life and how it actually isn't so terrible if you looked at it from another point of view. i have been scanning through instead of reading it properly with understanding, cus i have been really sleepy. i know alot of people write her off as being a bitch and stuff.. but she's my role model from today on! i wished i had attitude like hers! what she said about soulmates, about friends.. its so true. i admit to being a people-pleaser almost my entire life where i really hated to be disrespected. i hated it when people told me they are disappointed in me. it doesnt matter if they told me that in bite sized pieces or whether they sugar coated their words. it WILL affect me. i hate it when people say things like "hey, dont get offended.. but i think that u are... " or "hey, dont be personal about it. but "so and so" said that u were pathetic" etc. I WILL GET PERSONAL. no matter how much i try to re-think the words "dont get offended" .. i will be. because compliments build me. insults cripple me. but as i grow up, i take these insults.. and i try to evaluate them and look myself in the mirror and think if what he/she has said was true or not. after all, ur friend is supposed to be ur social mirror? but its tiring pleasing people all day. and its even more tiring keeping up with the act. and at the end of the day, i wonder to myself, why the hell did i not voice what i truly wanted? i do admit that its hard to kick the habit, but im slowly voicing my opinions about stuff that are more important. things that are superficial, i prolly cant give two hoots about it.
im really glad that i've stopped being upset about sly. its about time anyway. hahaha. although i have been feeling really empty the whole day, with hardly 10 smses coming my way.. it felt relaxing. just thinking.. just being at the office with my parents. and did i fail to mention, its payday!!! hahaahah!! i was literally smiling my way to the bank with a cup of pearly soya milk in my hands! and yessshhh! i finally did something i have been talking about. i signed up for a fixed deposit kinda scheme. so every month, $150 goes into the fixed deposit. with a better rate than my current savings lor. hahaha. but its gonna be inconvenient to withdraw and stuff. good for me!
plus, maybe going to SIM may not be as bad as in sounds like because they have something called summer schools. means, can go overseas (uk, netherlands etc) for a month .. OMFG. it might not be so bad afterall. omg. okok. can see some light at the end of the tunnel! ok, gonna sleep now. have got a task on hand! shall finally do something for CLEO! [=
and p/s: i think im going to really contribute to the society. i've taken a form to be volunteer from my CC. anyone wanna hop on too? i mean, ya, im complaining about how shit my life is. but if my life was shit, what about the others who worry about survival everyday? im going to submit it tomorrow or sunday. im going to take my free time to help them ba. i sound like a saint? nah. im just repaying my debts that society gave me. [= wootsie~
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