luckily i was still in my study mood. remember how i said earlier in the hols that i had the urge to just mug! LOL! the feeling was still there. and i took alot of notes and paid full attention. fucking fucking fucking hard la. even with 90% attention, i felt damn lost. econs mixed with add math leh! WALAO. i thought poly's econs was bad enough. this is, x10?!?!? GG! i was sooo information overload, i committed these 2 mistakes while travelling to grand cathay to meet martiantian and gang:
1. i took bus 52 or something. i REMEMBERED seeing that it went to clementi mrt. so i boarded it .. then as it went along.. slowly, i was suspicious of whether i saw it correctly or not leh. so i dropped off at a stop.. only to realise that i was just 1 stop away from clementi MRT! i need to have more confidence in myself, seriously. so i had to take another bus from that stop to go clementi mrt. lazy to walk.
2. i was at CLEMENTI mrt, and i took the damn train that went to JOO KOON. LOL! im too used to living in the east la! must get my SP mode back sia. lol! thats why i was wondering, huh.. why clementi to dover take sooo long. lol! finally, had to take escalator down, went across to the other escalator that went up.
lol la! finally reached astons. so nice of them to wait for me. had a great dinner. with usual laughters. cus while waiting for ttengy at dover, i was waiting at the bridge and i just went down memory lane. i fucking miss SP. just miss hanging out with my clique. last time, our whole class used to wait for each other at that bridge for everyone to come then we'd leave for class tgt. i remember we were late for our marketing class once and lee chong hwa got soo angry! never saw hwahwa so angry before. then slowly we had cliques and we just waited for our clique to come and zhao. but even with the clique, going to school tgt was so much fun. nathan would always be late and we'll mock at him. then we sometimes we play "bi dong xi" .. or just telling each other that we didnt do tutorials. lol. or during presentations, we'd be discussing about who's going first and stuff. omg. i fucking miss those good times. ALOT. i cant let go. i used to take the whole "waiting for ppl at the bridge and walking up to SB" for granted. it was only after the last exams, that i realised we'll NEVER do it again. it really got into my system. and it felt so weird. i dont feel me anymore. even till now, i still feel very detached from what i used to be. and i don't know. i feel like im having an emotional stroke. i can't really feel that sort of happiness derived from such simple everyday events anymore. its so weird to me that i can't feel happy in that way anymore lor. i know by the final year, we drifted apart even more. but sigh. i will give up everything i have now, to just re-live poly year 1. i remembered taking econs in poly year 1. i never paid attention to the lecturer as much as i paid attention to today's lessons. but boy, it was soo much fun. we'd draw on each other's papers. or we'd count how many "ya" he said ( i remembered it was about 30 ya for 1 hour). or we'd play "bi dong xi" together. or when martin dozed off, we'll make fun of him by writing random lame stuff on his notes. i never paid attention to any of sin mun wah's lectures (which explains why i only got B) but i had the best fun doing something damn boring. but now? im just paying attention like how i should have. so yup.
ok. hahaha. got so out of topic. yeah. so i came home, showered and guess what? I REVISED TODAY'S LECTURE and did my damn tutorials! i really needed to slowly digest the info. and i think i managed to digest about 60% only even reading through, writing more stuff on my notes and doing the tutorial. anyway, now that tutorial's cleared, i can play in peace tmr! going to go kbox and then celebrate hc's bday at the barrage! coolio! [:
and yessss! high chance of clubbing on 3rd july!!!!!!! i fucking need to feel wild again leh. my wild child really tamed down alot already. i wished it would come out again. i feel dead living this life now. doing things the way it should be done. i resent it. i mean, i'm like.. not even dressing up for school. just tees and shorts. and i did my tutorials and listened to lectures. i cant even think of anything fun to do at outings anymore. i hope the wild child will come out again. hopefully clubbing can change me again leh. inject some.. funk into me! the loud, talkative, gossipy girl, that is me. not this, quiet, anti-social wallflower.
compare my first day in poly (click here) and (click here) to this post. see the difference. i guess, this is the life i'm going to lead. so, i might as well... just try to stay as happy as i can. ciao.
p/s: omg. xueling posted this very old picture of me. LOL. i think this was in poly year 1.
zomg... x=
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