just a random post: i miss being sweet talked to.

Currently, i've got no problems in r/s.. Since i dun even have one. But i'm helping solve a few probs now. And i realise.. There can also be too much of a problem when a guy loves a girl too much. X: can be as bad as not enough love.

Reminds me of the spice girls song 'too much'. Really makes sense. I rlly hope i can help them.

NERD!

i really cannot believe how nerd i can get when it comes to maths! its like, in lecture today, i just kept doing and doing. the lecturer was at like point number 1.. and im already reading point number 3 and doing the tutorials. its like, maths make me mad! really siao. i just get sooo absorbed into doing maths that i CAN'T STOP! i'll only stop when i've fully satisfied my appetite to do them!!!! even when i get careless mistakes, i just do and do and do! LOL! its really CCRRRAAZZZYYY! lol! like really damn fucking nerd can. zomgggg.

NERDDDDDDDDD! but acting cute. i better act cute while i can sia. before i "expire"..

and regarding the previous post, i'd prolly totally ignore that whole post if i do find a bf! hahahahha! anyway, good part about being single can be applied to just now. just now after dinner, we were walking past this.. germany toyshop. and the shopkeeper, a q handsome angmoh.. he eye-to-eyed with my for about.. 10 seconds and smiled. i just smiled back. hoohoo! see? i think i'll miss these kinda small flirts when i get married and have children. i mean, girls always complain, "omg that guy so gross. ask for my number sia" LOL! i always think that they secretly think its a compliment lor. i tell u. wait for the day when no one gets their numbers and they'll start flocking their way to platic surgeries already! ahhahaa so anyways, someone was telling me about her boy problem! zomggggg! really leh. very very very frustrating just listening to her tell me. i dont blame the guy. but .. he's sooo controlling. and i just feel suffocated listening to her!! gahh. i didnt know how to help, so all i could do was just to.. listen lor. hoped it helped.

and ohhhh yessss. im so betting on SPAIN! [: that octopus said so. aiya. 4 years once. just try lo. hahaha. no harm.

and im officially sick. so i went to the doctor's before meeting morgan. then at dinner i just showed my mum the receipt. hahaha. usually she'll nag and nag about me not taking care of myself. so this time, i simply go and see the doctor! hoo! ok la. thats all. nights. mugging weekend!ciao, xoxo!

please don't kill paul!

the other reason i watch world cup is because there's paul! Hahha. Sigh. After he has given people lotsa fortune, we kill him just because he's too good!! Wth. i mean, the octopus didnt ask for the 2 boxes to be placed in front of him right? Since its there, he just happened to pick the correct box. Can't blame him! Gahhh. We're really selfish and arrogant. He's also a life too right? Oh well.

Hows life, you ask me? Well. This week's been pretty colourful! Lotsa meeetups with different friends. Makes me feel that my presence on this planet has some sort of use. Instead of just being a parasite. I guess, i like being made used of. Hahaha. Nt in the bad way la.. But i rlly like it when ppl ask me for advice. Not just on studies, but in life too? Or love. Though i may not have much experience myself, but i do have a lot of experience with my friends. And i can.. Try to help. If nt, im rlly a good listener. :) i dont mind being ur cushion. So ya. Ppl who see this, just find me lor. If u need a listening ear. Theres no such thing as too stupid or too small. Alot of problems begin small, plus.. Now that im single and not v sociable.. I've got quite a lot of spare time in my hands. :)

Sigh. Gonna send ade tan off nxt week. To aussie. This is another reality check that ppl have rlly moved on. I mean, alot of time, when someone passes away.. It'll be sad initially. But u wont feel the impact untiil u have to live life without his/her presence anymore. Thats sadder than even knowing about e fact that he's gone. Its living the fact that hurts. Yaa. Sigh. August will come and everyone will start school. Just hope that i wont be some lame ass who becomes so social life-deprived that i will turn into an introvert. For me, keeping my mouth shut is gonna be one huge torture. Of course, being a natural introvert.. Its not hard for me to keep my mouth shut if i feel inferior.

I guess, i've slowly grew to the fact that in life, there'll be moments when its so quiet, a small ripple would cause a huge wave for me. And then there will be the busy moments where i have so much to do that i didnt even notice that australia had a change in prime minister. :( fuck my general knowledge. Need to brush up.

And after the whole nerdy guy saga, i've decided. I'm not gonna do the chasing when it comes to love anymore. Sigh. Anyways, i think no one will want me even i presented myself on a silver platter... So.. well.. I'll just.. Wait lor. Ahahhaha. Cus right, i was giving someone love advice earlier.. And i just cant rlly see myself following my own advice. Maybe, i just want a few close friends, like now. Thats alright for me. Hahaha! Its like what the horseshoe said 'some women Are not meant to be tamed. They just wait for someone just as wild to run along with them' earlier on, was talking to family and we talked about aunty agnes. Nt sure if she still reads my blog. But anyway.. Im so proud of her! She got retrenched earlier frm the crisis.. So she took a holiday and travelled across australia on her own! Woooooo. I'd love to travel alone. Nt all the time of course! But imagine the things u can see .. I mean, u can go and see things u rlly wanna see! Eg. Male strip club! Hahahahaha. If i were w my husband or bf, cannot wad. Hahaha. And who knows whom i'll meet while travelling right??? It'll be like those chick lits.. Where ppl fall in love in tahiti! :) plus, im rlly so used to oogling at handsome strangers in public places. Esp when i see my type.. Abit macho with nerd specs, but clearly not nerds kinda guys. I remembered when i was with sly, i actually tried to ignore so many hawties. teeheehee. Plus when i club, i do dance with strangers. Im not being a hooker.. But handsome strangers are mysterious. Of course, as i grow older, the more i hope to establish my own family and become a slave to my husband and children. Its sad, considering how carefree i naturally am. But i just cant help but hope to be tied down to a family. I tell u though. Its in every girl's blood to wanna get married. I'm serious. There rlly isnt any girl who doesnt wanna get married even if they die also wont admit. Like me la. Who wants to be alone forever and die alone in apartment without anyone realising? But thing is, u might be married and have kids and STILL die alone in apartment without anyone noticing. But getting married is a risk alot of women will wanna take. But i guess, if i cant get married to the right guy, of course he doesnt have to be perfect, but has to fulfil majority of the criteria i do have in mind, i might as well be married to the idea of travelling the world. :) at least, i might die in a terrorist attack and not boringly in an apartment. Yup. I'll hope that the right guy comes along lor.. Cus life is rlly sian if everyone in my inner social circle gets attached and im still single.. hahha.

Hahaha. Of course, every coin has 2 sides.

having someone in your life means that when u're down.. U have a shoulder to lean on and life wont feel so bad. And when u're happy, it becomes happier when someone feels happy that u're happy. When u fail, they cushion ur crush and when u suceed, it tastes sweeter because someone is there to be proud of u as if its their own sucess but then, jealousy is something like the black spiderman suit shown in spiderman3. It covers up ur genuinely nice and openminded personality and turns u into a monster no one can recognise. U become distraught, lost, sad, angry for the slightest things. And also, it takes alot of effort to make a good relationship. And thing is, what if its all not meant to be at the end of the day? Both parties will just be tired and frustrated and u cant find ur old self anymore, the old self before all these fairytale happened.

Being single is fun too. We decide things for ourselves. We dont need to worry about hurting the other party for any decisions we make. We have the freedom of flirting with anyone and anywhere. So what if we will be judged? Hahah. We wont be jealous.. and we'll be used to being alone, its ok with or without a guy. Life goes on. We dont need to make umpteen number of unnecessary phone calls to make sure that our beloved isnt flirting around. We wont have to give in or compromise our true selfs for them.i know alot of ppl say, when they're in a r/s, they're still themselves and being true to themselves. Really? I doubt. There will definitely be changes to ur tastes and stuff unconsciously that u aren't aware of. And u wont be able to thoroughly live life the way u want it to be. And life becomes soooooo revolved around that one person, there is alot to lose if u miss a step. Whereas being single, we aint got nothing to lose. although u might say love makes it all worth it, but really? Ppl become anxious and panicky when they think they're gonna lose it! But idk. I just.. Hate the feeling of losing something. And since everyone is allocated the same number of hours in a day, u'll definitely lose touch of ur friends, or some.. Because.. Someone is occupying ur time. I mean, some ppl say its a bliss... But... As for me, friends are so fucking impt, i cant imagine losing them without knowing.of course, being single can suck too. Esp on valentines day and similar ocassions because u'd be home watching re-runs of titanic when the whole world is in love. Its nice to go out w friends but sucks when everything on the menu is meant for a 2-persons. And u'll definitely feel alone even with the biggest bunch of e closest single friends! What about when ur friends start getting attached.. And u're always the third wheel. Gosh, how can i not knw how a third wheel feel??? I have played that part so often, i got numb to it. U feel like u shud jolly well disappear frm the surface of this planet.. Instead of being the reason for the awkwardness around. And seeing the couple being lovey-dovey, though u might feel like puking and fainting, u cant deny the tinge of envy. And also, at night, when all ur friends are busy, u wished u had someone u can turn to to just chat.. and what about.. Missing the feeling of being cherished. Or being the centre of someone's world? Now thats quite a torture. And the worse thing about being single?? U look around, and u think hes the perfect one. And then, hes attached too.. And yeah. Its like.. So unstable. Life is so unstable.

Hahahaha. Ohmygooshhh. Im so bored.. Till i can type this kinda shit. Hahaha. No offence to anyone leh. Im rlly just blogging abt my opinion. But im so used to being single..i just become numb to the cons of being single. Of course, i'll wanna push my luck and try it out if someone right comes along. Hahahah. My youth is running out and i sometimes really wonder if it will even be possible nt.

I rlly rlly cant picture myself being in the centre of someone's world. Im too... Inferior. Look around and theres so many good-looking, good personality girls around. And girls who have less bullshit than me. I've got too much shit in me alr. and i rlly dont know how to be that sweet girl to the guy i love. Even to nerdy guy, i was all brotherly and stuff. Sigh. but at e same time, i cant imagine giving up any part of my social life for any guys. And i also cant imagine nt being jealous. I'll confirm feel inferior and jealous. Oh gosh. Hence my conclusion: just wait and see. Hahha! Thats all. Fingers are tired. Ciao. All the best to everyone!

ok la, go SPAIN!

LOL! had quite a good day today. met up with sx and emsy today. we wanted to have everything with fries for lunch. but it was closed. so we had lunch at the taiwanese place beside "everything with fries". it was good! i had the salted chicken meal.. which is quite yummy! hahaha. and had mango ice. which is niceeeee! then headed to look for handphone casing at pp. and what the fuck? i wanted to try koi and it was like.. packed until wanna puke leh! seriously sian. i had each a cup. oh fuck. a lot alot of calories. gonna cut down tmr. piccies:




LOVE my purple nails!! [:
mine's the red one. emsy got the white one. very elegant leh, i feel.

yup. headed to school. nth much happened. came hm for dinner. and betted on soccer for the first time. i tried to bet at sg pools. really dunno. then alb remembered i wanna bet x= hahahhaa. so i betted thru job. reggie contributed $5. i contrinute $20. on SPAIN! although i have a hweeling germany will win cus they're clearly strong. but.... octopus + bird + odds... say spain. x= ohhhh fuck la. goodbye $20!

random thoughts

These 2 days have been like, an emotional reflection for me! sunday went out to lorraine and we were chatting about the past and about what we thought and about our lives... so much so, we actually cried together.. in a public place. of course, not the loud wail, but just... tears. i never really knew she went through so much. i never knew she knew that i went through alot too. she's literally my sister. hahaha! i mean, really leh. it was totally a detoxifying session for my soul. it just made me feel blessed that i actually had someone who knew the stuff i went through in my childhood. i thought no one remembered. why wouldn't i remember? but it has been so long ago, i'd rather not mention it anymore. but.. yeah. felt fucking good after talking to her. [: jiayou yeah, lorraine!! it not only goes for ur studies, but ur love life also!! hahahahhaha!

then yeah, today, i was so looking forward to saba-ing with the gang. and it really kept my mood going. and finally understood how the phrase "absence makes the heart grows fonder" works. i found my econs file in the lecture hall. thank goodness!! ahhaha. and also, yeah, although alot has happened.. but im just glad to be back with the boomzers again. the feeling as i've mentioned earlier was different from the rest. i feel at home with them. like, i can just take my shoes off and be who i am.. instead of looking pretty and stuff.

ok, so, i've actually burned off some econs time to do this.. before-after pics thing. [: i think its quite a good reflection! hopefully, 2 more years later, i'd be better than i am today. physically, psychologically, emotionally too. honestly, im quite scared because i really cannot see myself getting married and attached and belonging to some other ppl, other than me.

me and lorraine.

me and morgan

me and sx and emsy

me and chantel

me!! but comparing both proms of my life. x=

well. goodnight!

and thank you my friends!

As we go on, we will still be .. friends forever

Im supposed to shower now. LOL! but im too absorbed just looking at the photos with the boomzers! the feeling i get when im out with the gang will never be the same as when i hang out with other friends. of course, when im with different groups of ppl, i feel different kind of happiness. but with the boomzers, they really make me feel me. i feel super duper nonsensical and lame .. it makes me nostalgic just being funny with them. and sadly, this is our first outing ever since prom night. but luckily it happened. and i was fuckin emotional on the bus. i almost cried when i smsed them. cus.. i really am scared that one day, we will not saba again. and one day, we wont contact again. and they ... are the prime of my life ba. sigh. we've been soo close together, we've tolerated so much nonsense together. i just want us to be friends forever! i wanna feel like how i felt in SP again. forever.


we bought chantel a glow-in-the-dark condom and vibrator. eggplant shape. [: oh man. first time in my life buying condom. hahaha. and vibrator. x:

stupid nei. so black now. like frm africa!

here's a before-after comparison:

before:

AND

After:

wowow!! [: miss cheryl quack quack too! ok. shall really go shower and study abit of econs. bye!

p/s: sigh. im feeling the social stress again. just.. envious of some ppl. i got rejected frm the camp cus it was overwhelming. ]: yeah. what else can i do? hmmm. hahah.

i will be good.

went out with lorraine today. it was such a detox for my emotions. but also very detoxifying for my wallet. shall blog about my buys for today soon! Im broke again. oh well. same story again. but im seriously damn broke. i asked kane for a job for aug. so i guess im gonna work for yog afterall.

well, i bought a necklace which i know is a marketing gimmick, but symobolizes something really really strong that i can relate to.



"Some women aren't meant to be tamed. they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them" hmm. i actually thought about ALOT ALOT of things today especially after talking to lorraine [: but i just am too tired and lazy to blog right now. i havent been good. i didnt study the entire weekend. i will.. not come online for this week.

its been FUCKING LONG since i tried clothes on and took pics!!!!! im still thinking if i shud even get the skirt. but no money now. no need to talk.

i got the skirt at long last! ZARA, used to be 59.90... then now is 49.90. i remember dreaming about it day and night last time!

ok la. im going to be a good girl. [: i might not go for the camp. cus apparently, its overwhelming response. oh well. i could use the $45 now. x=

disappointment.

oh well. Nerdy guy is attached :( its like, he's rlly perfect eh. In my books. Personality wise, looks wise, all full mark. But marital status fail. :( oh well. So sad. Rlly. I might have done the chasing if he were single. But i will stick to my principles of nt touching anyone attached. cus i will never want that to happen to me.. Just damn sian. Oh well. Can be friends lar.

fucked up.

see? Everytime my mind is distracted with stuff, i just become so so blur. I left my whole godammned econs file in the lecture hall. Omg. And it has my own notes in it too. I worked hard for that tho. Its nt like empty notes like in poly times. Sian.

ohhhh shirley stop ittt!!!

omg. I keep thinking about nerdy guy and rlly wished he would come on msn and talk to me leh! Shit. Im too old for crushes liao lar. Okok. I really shud know my own limits and stop this bull. As though he will like me like that. Ok. I will Prepare to lead a single's life. Just to keep the expectations low. we'll only be friends. Ok. Like me and martin. Me and nei. Me and alb.

short term memory

u see, the good thing about short term memory is that although it sucks when it comes to studies, but its good also.. cus now, i kinda forgot how that nerdy guy looks like. so im nt really very bothered by him. hoohoo. random. [=

Freshman orientation day

One of the last times i'm gonna use the word "freshman" on myself. i am fucking sleepy. but i don't know why, but i am actually awake. lol. x= ok. so let me blog then i shall shower. and then sleep so i can study tomorrow.

i slept at 10.30pm last night. very guai right? but i woke up at 2am thinking it was 5am. then when i realised it was 2am, i tried to read "la bi xiao xing" .. then i decided to come online and ask veggie something. then in the end, chatted until about.. 3am plus? i felt my eyes sting with tiredness again. so tried to sleep. but thoughts just ran past my head. just about my life. about the freshie camp. about what im gonna join. about whats gg on with my friends. and u know, im think im gonna switch to business. omg. i still dont know what i want!

ok. so i woke up at 6.30am. without sleeping since 2am. went to shower, blow hair and left home. was fucking early. so i headed to cityhall's macs and eat breakfast. i love going to macs for breakfast. it reminds me of the times i was in australia. just reminded me that i am leading a life. so i was eating and listening in on what the 2 ns boys were talking about beside me. lol! they were talking about paul the octopus. and complaining about packing goody bags. mmm. what a nice way to start a day.

headed to sim. was feeling all hyped up and hyper cus of the damn caffeine. then reached on time and didn't see adeline. thought can chope place but turns out cannot. so i was forced to be part of some group called OG4! [: i totally miss playing games leh. lol! so i was really quiet at first. and only talked to shakila. then slowly, i talked to desmond, this other guy sitting beside me. then we played more games and became closer. the games were quite.. bonding la!LOL!

there was this guy.. who really caught my eye! he is quite good looking. but he was wearing nerd specs but he's totally not nerd! hahah. but the moment we chatted, it was like old friends chatting leh. so really hope got chance there. oh well. shall go with the flow~ cus everytime i try to force something out of nothing, the furthest progress is just flirting. hahahha. then got one part, we played this game where the whole group of us had to squeeze onto 2 pieces of newspapers! hahaha. and i was just right in front of him with everyone around us squeezing in and if i had just.. looked up, sure kiss liao. reminded me of clubbing. x= oh well. i've learnt not to easily fall prey to sweet talks already. hahaha. once bitten twice shy. plus, compared to those sim girls, he's outta my league. hahaha. but at least we chose a same cca. hope ba! haha. if nt, crush also ok. hahhaa. our facils, may, edmund and another guy was really not bad. our team was very united i feel. hahaha. very cute ppl we have. the girls were awesome. the guys were fantastic also. we played games like, there was one where we had to pass a spoon around using out feet. LOL! funny lar. it was great meeting so many people. it just made me feel.. myself once again.

i joined 3 ccas. fuck, hope i can cope.

1. student council
2. fencing
3. toastmasters

i just signed up for those lar. so shall see how it goes. sekali i will end up with none. they actually have a school paper. but the journalist slots have been taken up. ]:and omg. im gonna be v shagged cus i joined the camp. x= 12,13 and 14th july. and they all fall on my bridging days. so right, we were thinking of going for lessons till 6.30pm on 12 july.. miss lessons for 13th... and then after camping, come for lessons on 14th july. well, if im so cui now, i don't know how im going to survive on 14th. then 22nd got sim bash at supperclub. also on bridging day. somemore next day have lessons. omg. somemore, according to an experienced clubber, his advice was.. dont sleep at all. x= GG! ohmygosh. this month suddenly became so alive. but studies come first! so i'm going to mug tomorrow. make sure i get my foundation laid lor.

ok lar. i shall go shower and sleep. really damnnn damnnn dmannn sleepy. i've been up for 22 hours. hoohoo. nights people.

p/s: JULY is jim halpert's month!!!! cus remember i have "the office" calendar. july is jim halpert's month!!!!! so i get to see his face everyday for 31 days! he's my favouritest character from the office! he's not just cute.. but his personality is.. fucking funny [:

a silver lining on my dark cloud

heyhey! guesss what?? [:

today headed to school. i overslept like mad. omg.mad sleepy. plus it was raining. then finally went to school for some enrolment talk. ok, i might be switching to business. im still thinking through. sigh! accounting and finance is a more.. specialised degree than business. and the thing is, ppl cannot transfer into accounting. but they can transfer out. so u get my point ya? but i would love to do more.. logical stuff rather than numbers. but ar, omg. i tell u. im nuts lor. i FUCKING LOVE MATHS for business (thus far). its like, i did more than what i needed to do for tutorials. then when the lecturer taught through, i was actually doing the tutorial questions at the back. it kinda gets my adrenaline rush back! LOL :D am proud of me. but hopefully it will be smooth sailing.

and i've decided to take up toastmasters as my CCA. i really feel like taking up diving. but my mother will kill me if she knew im taking up diving. considering how superstitious it is. but fuck. i wanna take up something sporty. but i dont want to run. lol. i want something fun leh. maybe i might do fencing. hahahha. hmmmm.

okok. so this isn't really why im so hyped up about. teeheeheehee. and as for the camp, have to pay $45, somemore must go thru selection AND it still clashes with bridging. but sihua told me, actually we only skip 2 days. we can chiong for the lesson on the 3rd day. but will be fucking shag one leh. haiz. will think about it. cus EVERYBODY says that the camp will determine ur social life. x=

ok. now .. here comes the fucking eggcited news:

IM GOING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF SINGAPORE IN THE NEXT ELECTION!!!!!!!!!
hahaha. not.

joke nia. the main good news is, SIM is organising a SIM bash at supperclub on some thursday. although next day have classes, but its still CLUBBING!!!!! plus, reggie veggie is going! omggggg!!!! my wish came true! fuck yeah~!!!!!!!!!!!! EGGcited much. plus, if i cant go for the freshie camp, i'll just go for the toastmasters camp. which i hope i can sign up tmr. hoohoo. eggcited much.

omg. okok. im so fucking cui. need to sleep liao. plus have ta wake up at blardy 6.30am tmr. albsie, i can understand how u feel. omg. maybe there really IS a silver lining on my dark cloud. i just hope its not lightning. ]: but really hope SIM would be a fun part of my life and not just one random part of my life leh. hahha. okie doks. nights.

YESHHHHHHH! CLUBBING!! somemore no more at st james alr. hahaha! new place to club = new start?!

mid year post.

its officially 1st july 2010 today. half the year has passed. oh. half the year has passed.

summary:

Academically: disappointing. didn't even get any phonecalls from all 3 local unis. made a lot of mistakes when it came to applying and now, still bitter about it. came out of SP. and came into SIM.

Socially: luckily i still have my good friends to keep me up when i'm down. although when it comes to chilling, i definitely have had a wonderful clubbing life thus far though. but, can see social life dwindling. especially when all the universities start, thats when you can really see how the social life is gonna turn. everyone will be making new friends. old friends will go and new friends will come. but socially, my life hasn't been too bad. just gotta see the true colours of some friends.

romantically: up and down, up and down and back to square one. just can say that i've become more defensive.. but after so many ppl encouraging me, im not giving up ba. but at least gave first kiss away alr. i mean, yea, i sound like a slut. but although its not a true love's kiss (o.O) but then.. at least i can slowly look lor. haha. whatever la. but yeahh. at least now.. i'll choose and not just go for it because i need a bf because everyone else have one. dont wanna hurt anyone.

economically: pathetic.. BUT at least i started saving. now, thats an improvement!

hmmmm.. idk. fuck. damn mood swing. its like.. im now feeling happy leh. WTF! im supposed to blog about something serious. LOL.. stupid ass heart. anyhow issue feelings one sia. lame .. hahha.ok la. gg off first.

it was a LONG day. pms madness.

Sigh. really fucking hate pms. super duper makes me a nasty person to be with lor. i started the day feeling really fucking fucking blue and depressed. plus the weather was so gloomy. i mean, i've got nothing to look forward to anymore. definitely not as much as i did in SP. like, i feel, almost nothing. and so, i whined to albsie and reggie. she's working so no replies. but albsie, well, he's a true buddy indeed. sorry leh. cus i was really almost crying in the train. over nothing. its just that, i really wanna go for the camp because i feel like im suffocating in my own world. i feel like going to have some fun but it crashes with my bridging. and since 1 year's stuff is squeezed into 1 month, missing out 3 days is like missing out 3 weeks of lessons. and im scared i fail because it really does shave off 1 year. and if i fail, let's just say that my parents and relatives will be even more disappointed in me. although my parents never say it, but i can feel that they are a tad disappointed that i couldn't make it to SMU. so, i really need to prove it to them that i can excel and it was because i was lazy and having too much fun in SP that i didn't do well enough to get into smu. so, i've been working hard lor. i tell u, even for the first 2 weeks in SP, i never even do my tutorials/ revision EVERY NIGHT. and now, although we're into the 2nd week in SIM, but i'm doing my tutorials every night and revising. although i still make mistakes.. but yeah. and the thing is, i am not even mugging reluctantly. it just feels like the inner muggertoad that has been buried by tons of fun and defiance has emerged. and im like tying my hair and actually ENJOYING doing my math homework last night. honestly, the first chapter was just a re-cap and it felt fuckin good to do the homework effortlessly and get the answers all correct. but the thing is, apart from studies and my very-much-thinning social life, i really haven't got alot to look forward to. i know, i've been saying that i like this guy right. and i think its part of pms. pms, is like fart. a small spark into the fart, and it becomes a big fire.



well, last night i was talking to an old friend whom i got to know frm icq a long time ago. we've been chatting on/ off and he's from denmark. very funny guy. and i told him about the sim foc/ bridging thing. gosh. he said, we should just have as much fun as we can while we leave. he said he thinks that i've always been too serious about things. he's 25 and he said when he was my age, he was wayyy crazier than he is now. and he thinks he's crazier than me now. ]: wished i could be so carefree and not think so much. but he lives in goddamn europe. and they drink beer after an exam. i just.. have dinner and watch movie. i wanna drink also. realised it has been ages since i had any pubbing session. now that drinking queen is back in singapore.. omg [= awesome. feel like pubbing. but anyway, on that train, i just look at my life now and realise, how i wished, i could breath fresher air. i was SOOO close to just crossing the platform, headed to the airport and get an air ticket to switzerland. i dont even mind travelling alone lor. in fact, i will definitely travel alone once in my life. hopefully to switzerland. but u know, theres 3 things holding me back:

1. my family.
2. my really good friends.
3. my future.

if i just ran away now.. i'd be happy for a while. right? what about the rest of my life? well, i might as well save up.. which i already am.. and maybe i can take swiss lessons also. then, go maybe on an itinerary. idk. i just felt damn damn damn depressed and emotional. just feel like.. if i died, no one will miss me? that kinda feeling. it truly sucks. hopefully, its just me. and my pms. super hate pms. u know, thanks albsie for the words of encouragement. i guess i needed a nice, good stroll. like the one i took home. and friends. oh well lar. i shall go off first. im going to blog about my day on the next post. not gonna mix all that good things with negativity. ciao.

Dilenma!

omfg! knnccb. fuck bridging. zzzz. howwwww? ok. here's the situation:

sim is organising a freshman orientation camp. 12 to 14th july. which happens to be on my bridging days. fucking hell. should i sacrifice 2 days of econs and 1 day of maths to go for the camp? i mean, its gonna be the last freshman camp in my life leh. i feel, that i should go. but the lessons are quite crucial! somemore alot will be missed if i miss the 3 days. but then, 3 days of fun leh. somemore, my life is fucking at a standstill at this moment. omggggg. i really wanna go leh. i think i will. fuck bridging la. i'll compensate it ba. x= as in, work harder after the camp. but thing is, i also dunno anyone who's gg to the camp. but i guess.... omg. what should i do???

gahhhh. but what if i fail bridging? cus of this. omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess i overthink-ed it.

hmm, well it has been a very boring day today. woke up. ate curry. went to school. came home. ate dinner. watched tv. msn-ed. did homework. now online again.

that summarizes my day. sigh! how exciting.

hmm, maybe i really think too much. doubt he likes me. its just that, looking forward to msn convos has been a thing in the past. the last time i looked forward.. was actually for sly. but it reminds me more of secondary school days when i really will look forward to this nickname "..." to come online. its steven's ... hahahahaha! oh well. i guess i just miss the feeling. hmm, cus he's online but not talking to me. really really think too much. ok la. i shall just.. hang around before going off to bed. cant wait for tmr anyway! HOO!

updates: he just msn-ed me! hoohoo! but its about soccer again. oh well. hahah. x=

Lazy day sunday afternoon

omgomgomg! i had an exciting sunday afternoon!!!! 2 aliens landed at the porch of my house and they invited me to go to Mars with them! so i hopped on and i toured the universe until now. just reached home. thank you my alien friends, so long and farewell!

well, anyhow, while i was on my universe tour, my twin sister, to whom i share thoughts with, was having a boring but relaxing sunday afternoon. this is what she thought:

woke up today just in time for lunch. had char kway for lunch. believe it or not, i havent had black char kway for about... 5 years or more. really. sigh. missed it like mad. and i enjoyed every bit of it! so after that, just lazed around watching japan hour. omg. omg. omg. reminded me of why i wanted to study hard and earn alot of money. gosh. the nature.. the hot springs.. the warm hospitality! [: oishiiii~ so after that, decided to go parkway to buy bro's present and mum's shampoo. well, i got both already. i walked to parkway and back home. its nice to see how much has changed. hahaha. was sooooooooo tempted to buy fries until i remembered that i had a goal to hit.. so i resisted. came home, and watched ch 8 drama. then watch mr bean movie. then watched bridget jones. sigh. bridget always brings out the best in me. she always reminds me to find someone who'd like me just the way i am. like mark darcy. [: i really can never get sick of bridget jones! never!

oh well. i just think its wishful thinking on my part. i doubt im his type and i doubt he's my type. will just go with the flow la~ and anyway, classes tmr. fuck fuck fuck. its everyday from this week on. omg. ]: looking forward to tues - toy story 3 movie outing! and looking forward to saturday! outing with coussies!!!!! awesum! very scared for econs. i dont really understand much. im merely remembering. sigh!

oh well. i shall sleep latest at 1am. then have a good start to the week tmr. shall maybe pop by the gym! byeeee~

since primary school..

suddenly saw augusta posting she and her bf's pictures.. then reminded me to search for my primary school friends. omg. people like mabel koh.. was made to excel la. head prefect, then went to SNGS, then went to HCJC, then went to NUS. then kim sum also so smart. gosh. it feels like everyone who graduated from ij oln are either:

1. smart
2. pretty
3. arty farty with big social circles

or they are simply all of the above. its like .. im not really much of a progress. like, instead, got bad to worse sia. i really got no face to go for primary school gathering. luckily, i was quite a social outcast then.. so im not close to anyone in particular. i lost all contacts when i shifted house. so i totally broke off contact with everybody until something called friendster came up. guess fate wanted to save me from the embarrassment of keeping in touch with them! sigh!! its like they're either socially or relationshiply or academically successful! really envious. hmmm..

bimbotic once again

once again, i went to forever21.com again. and so many so many loves. and this time, im thinking of it with relative to schoolwear.

chio shorts! im still into stripes leh. very gap!

zomgggg. chio dressss!! so pretty! the preens also very very nice! elegant! zomgggg.

very school-ish leh! very boyish also i feel. naise!awesomeeee ring!!! [:

simple but nice tote bag!

looks comfy enough for school. plus shud be easy to match also!

zomggggggggggggggggg. i loveeeeeee this dresss!

this tank top, very very school-ish leh. easy to match. in fact, can match with the shorts above!

sigh! im a sucker for anything with angel wings. even tattoos! loves to the max!!! somemore usually accessories are quite cheap one! hahaha.

if only money wasn't an object!!!!! if only lor... thats why, must work hard for UOL! WOOHOO!!! [: am motivated to work hard! and curb all temptations to eat junk food. hahaha. oui~

omg. he did msn me. but okok. i shall not think too much lar. afterall, it really will be complicated if we do.. have anything at all. oh well~ lalala.

economics is ... a bottomless well.

i was doing my tutorial just now. and i was re-reading my notes. and there were endless of questions running through my head which i couldn't find answers to in the notes. its like, there seem to be alot of loopholes in all these theories. the worse is, the same thing can be referred to by many different words and symbols. but they all just mean the same thing! gosh. so confused. its like, i get more confused by the chapter u know. maybe im just too sian to analyse. i think i will re-read tomorrow. fucked. sometimes i wonder, if im really even made to do finance or accounting. omfg. as Dr zhang, my lecturer, said.. this is just a piece of cake. if u can't understand the economics now, then it will only get tougher from here. omfg. i just hope, i can make it through ba.

sigh. i have a feeling that i might.. like somebody. its still too early to tell. good thing he didn't talk to me tonight. phew! i think i don't like him la... just feel he's quite a good companion to talk to. but i think if we're ever together, its gonna be a bit... complicated. lol. feels good saying it out. ok. just hope its an infatuation. X=

Stay home saturday

yup, its another stay home saturday and i am not even sick or bored of this! hahaha. ok, i was supposed to go out with alvin. but he had work last minute. oh well. i was fucking sleepy anyway. i slept at 4am again leh. shit. it has been 4, 5am for days! i must change la. fuck. woke up and so paiseh, cus my bro was having tuition. looked like shit when i came out. luckily i didnt fart or what. i really didnt know of his existence. gahh. then just laid on the fuckin couch and watched tv. until lunch came. then after that, i just lazed on the couch. watched alot of dramas. some old cheena drama. then my fave drama. zhen ai wu di. then aircon man came and fixed the aircon and i just helped abit. after that, i mopped the floor and ate magnum gold and watch more tv. then my parents went out. lol. they went to isetan to eat free jap food. i very lazy to dress up laaa. hahaha. my bro went out for some party. so left me alone at home.. just chatting on msn, blogging, listening to 987fm now. feel like clubbbbbbbbbbbbingz. actually i wanted to not have any dinner, since i didnt burn calories ... until i watched "wo yao dang shi shen" on xinmsn. fuck. damn hungry. so went ta fried noodles. and was satisfied. [:

well, just the other day, i went to weigh in, which i havent done so in MONTHS cus the damn weighing scale spoilt. and i lost, about.. 3 to 4kg since i last weighed in.. which was prolly in feb? or march. o.o omg la. imagine if i didnt eat popeyes and all the calories-laden food in my life. omg. fuck. hahaha. although i always say that i wanna lose weight, but i really cant resist and i end up eating calories-laden food. but quite surprising to even lose weight. ok la. i shall go gym from this week onwards although i feel my period's coming soon. one thing bad about losing weight is that the boobs also deflate. lol. oh well.

its like im really too broke to even wanna spend money on details that i didn't used to think was material enough to worry about eg. transport.

im thoroughly enjoying my stay home saturday! plus it has been pouring lately, so it really sucks to be out there in the rain anyway.

anyway i've been too lazy to read the news or wad already. and my spelling is getting more and more atrocious. i seriously must change. just joined this forum for writers to be. hopefully my writing bug will come back into my system! sigh! but the thing is, i suck at writing for the sake of writing. im more used to writing because i want to. hmm, oh well. i have to do homework sia. ]: damn sian. ciao.

promise

i swear to not buy anything that i just see at an impulse for the month of july. my debit card bill is FUCKING scary for the month of june. OMG! its record high. lets just say, it git 4 digits. x: omggggggggggggggg. i already sacrificed the fucking chio brown bag from online leh.. the spree ended today... and i didnt even take a second glance at it. omgggggggggggggggggggggggggg. its eating my insides.

please fate, don't let me see anymore chio stuff for july! must... resist...

how am i supposed to survive on a measly $450 allowance. somemore, $100 transport, $50 for phonebills and $80 for savings. T.T

Welcome to habbo hotel!

Heyyy! firstly, theres nothing much to blog today, except that tomorrow will be my last day at USS! YES! im feeling a tinge of sadness cus i cant work for concerts and stuff. but i'd rather miss it. seriously, sometimes these guests come in and treat u like fuck lor, i tell u. oh well, so heres a little momento:

goodbye, shirley the casual.

the only interesting thing today was that ryan foo and his mum came to join us for dinner. ryan foo that clown. [: we went to this claypot restaurant near my place. they sell this, chicken-stuffed-into-pig-stomach soup. which i thought was very smelly. the pig smell very strong. but then, we ate this prawn porridge, which was damn awesome. and its $18 for a fuckin huge portion!!! can feed, 6 people!!! i wanna eat there again!

ok. another thing to talk about: habbo hotel. i just went back to habbo hotel last night. i went until 5am! LOL! cus nathan's friend, gen li, also played. so he ask me play also! LOL. and we both played from 3am until 5am. then my mum came in and nagged. LOL. it really is a walk down memory lane. although me, bro, lorr and lionel used to play when i was in sec 2.. and we played habbo uk. we were quite dua pai then! im serious. cus we made friends with these uk ppl who were q influential then in habbo. and i even became this guy's wife. i remember the lame wedding ceremony lor. but then, thanks to them, i got HC. HC means habbo club. and u have to pay real money to get it. and if u get it, u're automatically "cool". everyone starts sucking up to u. yup. but then, that time we wanted to get. but we only can buy if we're in uk. anyway, my "husband" really spends alot of real money on habbo leh. i remember his username: hubbabubba234. LOL. but he got banned. and so did his brother and sister and his sister's "husband". lol! those times were crazily funny i tell u. we'd make restaurants or cafes or modelling agencies and have a ball of fun. super cute one. but addictive. i stopped playing cus of maple.. and also, when our supports were banned, no more money, no mroe fun. we heard they were jailed for cheating habbo money leh. but i think its fake. oh well. anyway... i doubt i'll go back after today. cus right, just now, this boy came to flirt with me. then when i asked for his asl.. he was goddamn 14 years old. o.o lol! okie, so pictures for memories!

my character: pillybaxto

lol! this is the expression for :o .. the shocker look. cute ar

:)

see?!?! the best part about habbo isnt HC club nor being pretty. sometimes we dress up ugly and disturb ppl! hahaha .. like we'll take part in beauty contest dressed like this

or this

these are my pets! all courtesy from my "ex husband".. LOL

btw, pets/ furniture must be bought with real money one leh. hahahahhhha!!! i was such a whore last time. lol. but i didnt do anything funny with him. although he's brit. hahaha. he was a nice guy until he MIA. luckily didnt have feelings or wad. ahhaha.


my room! i used to be fuckin rich one. these are all considered norms. i used to have HC sofas which are actually rares and very expensive. then, i think i got sian and i gave them away. lol!

my toilet

haiz! those were the days when i was something in habbo. now i go in, like sai liddat. and thats my "ex-husband" .. lol!

anyway, if u said anything vulgar, or put ur email address, they censor it and it becomes bobba. hahahhaa. its lame la. cus those brits have better way of saying. lol! like sexy is smexi. kissing is snogging. sex is shagging etc.. lol!

oh well. im gg off. shall go sleep at 1.30am ba. im thinking of going to the gym tmr.. cus i need to go uss anyway and i'll be doing nothing between 12 plus till 3.30 pm.. oh well. shall jog then. hahaha. woo~

i was wondering, when will i ever laugh like this again?

oh well. lame pic. haha byee!

it was a great day [:

Sometimes, you know that a great day will happen because you can just feel it. and indeed, yesterday was an amazing amazing day! the thing i love about blogging is that, i get to recap happy moments like these all over again.

i woke up late ytd and had to rush down to cityhall. damn weather these days. so good to chill. went to the bank. gosh. i thought i can change the amount of money i wanna transfer into my fixed deposit just in time for when my paycheque comes and reduce the amount. and im too late. so now, i still have to credit $150 on the 25th on june and another $80 on 2nd july. cus i screwed up. oh well, think of future! maybe its really time i stopped shopping. ]: start saving! [: this is what i've learnt in my fucking econs classes. hhahaha.

then met up with them at macs. gossiped alittle and headed to kbox. at first we're offered until 5pm. 2 hours where got enough!!! hahaha. so we did the one till 7pm! hahaha. shiok. sang alot of english songs and old chinese songs. like f4.. LOL! and i finally sang one korean song in my life. lol. just the english part la. here it is:


fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic elastic elastic elastic elastic !! hahahahah. nah im not a k-pop fan. but the boys just looks soo handsome leh.

ok, so heres the catch. cus we actually planned a surprise picnic at the barrage for hong choo. but of course, she doesnt know. haha. so anita and martin was supposed to leave earlier, and me and ade tan had to make sure hc is occupied until they have set the picnic up. and hc also didnt know that nei and khng were going. hahh. so at about 6.. anita pretended to answer a phone call from kane and then told martin they had to go office to sign paycheque. then i added in like "walao. damn kane. ask him go die" i really tried very very very hard to sustain the laughter! hahahahahhaha. then after they left, i purposely added on to the show. i called anita and said "omg. what? kane still at meeting?!" lol! cus they were still shopping for picnic food. lol. so had to stall time. then purposely shopped at topshop and stuff to delay. finally anita said they have already setted the stuff up. then we just went to marina bay. we attempted to walk. and realised that we were lost. so we walked to promenade. then from there, we still didnt know how to go to marina barrage. so we took yellow line to dhoby and red line to marina bay. then when we alighted, we waited at the wrong bus stop. it was soooo ulu. seems like no cars or whatsoever. for that moment, i wasn't really scared. just wished that i could keep myself out from the outside world. oh well. but we were in a rush for the surprise ma. so, we managed to walk out and into the correct bus stop. waited forever for the bus. and we finally reached barrage. and hong choo was so touched! she deserved it!!!! she's really one of the reasons why my poly life is damn fun! shes so cute and cheerful and she always organises class outings. we take turns la. sometimes i organise and sometimes she will do it. i remember the first day of school and when she said her name was hong choo, i was like "hong zhu?" then she said, "nope. its choo" lol! cute! happy birrrday babe! [:

im seriously damn bad at singing. LOL! seriously. fucking monotone. nd i can never hit the high notes. but awesomely fun when with the right crowd! hahaha. im not a chinese songs person no more. but then, its just fun to shout the lyrics out and stuff! we need to k more!! hahaha.

well, as for today, just woke up, prepared for school. went for another information overload. omg. im losing the mojo to mug already. lol! but i still paid attention. he's quite a good lecturer, dr zhang. haha. but i've been asking a lot of qns. fuck. hope he doesnt find me to be a pest. anyway while dinnering just now, saw this cute guy. he kinda looks like what i'd imagine prince charming to look like. except his armpits were damn hairy? cus he wore those jerseys ar. oh well. see? nobody's perfect! hahaha. feeeeels good to be single eh! wooo~ oh well. tomorrow supposed to go pubbing. but we're fucking broke. too broke to even happy hour! ]: i wanna drink sia. damn. plus, we're supposed to club on 3rd july. just realised.. i have outing with coussies on 3rd july. oh well. family first. omgggggggggggggggg. when can i clurb again!!!

speaking of clurb, my spelling is getting from bad to worse. i should blorg, i mean, blog in proper engrish, i mean, english! gahh! hahha. okie. waiting for pics to upload while watching ch8 drama on xinmsn. lol. ciao~~


hong choo's the one in green!


we're on tv!

blue riding hood?


hungry!

two of the 5 most favourite male species of human in my life. [albsie, u're in it too!!! and my dad. and bro]


fucking epic sia! hahahah