mistakes people make

The one mistake that I made just nw was being fooled by kopiko (the coffee sweet) that it is just a lil harmless sweet and the word 'cofffee' was for show. Boy! am I totally wrong la. I took one just now and now I'm fucking sleepy but i just can't go to sleep !!!!!!!!!! Its 3.30 am and I gotta meet alb at 10am tmr..... Gg. Stupid shirley

Salute you, Rozz

i have been reading rozz (from shan and rozz show)'s blog for almost the entire day. and she truly is one inspirational blogger! she's not the ghandi sort of inspiring! but she knows how to tell you about the reality of life and how it actually isn't so terrible if you looked at it from another point of view. i have been scanning through instead of reading it properly with understanding, cus i have been really sleepy. i know alot of people write her off as being a bitch and stuff.. but she's my role model from today on! i wished i had attitude like hers! what she said about soulmates, about friends.. its so true. i admit to being a people-pleaser almost my entire life where i really hated to be disrespected. i hated it when people told me they are disappointed in me. it doesnt matter if they told me that in bite sized pieces or whether they sugar coated their words. it WILL affect me. i hate it when people say things like "hey, dont get offended.. but i think that u are... " or "hey, dont be personal about it. but "so and so" said that u were pathetic" etc. I WILL GET PERSONAL. no matter how much i try to re-think the words "dont get offended" .. i will be. because compliments build me. insults cripple me. but as i grow up, i take these insults.. and i try to evaluate them and look myself in the mirror and think if what he/she has said was true or not. after all, ur friend is supposed to be ur social mirror? but its tiring pleasing people all day. and its even more tiring keeping up with the act. and at the end of the day, i wonder to myself, why the hell did i not voice what i truly wanted? i do admit that its hard to kick the habit, but im slowly voicing my opinions about stuff that are more important. things that are superficial, i prolly cant give two hoots about it.

im really glad that i've stopped being upset about sly. its about time anyway. hahaha. although i have been feeling really empty the whole day, with hardly 10 smses coming my way.. it felt relaxing. just thinking.. just being at the office with my parents. and did i fail to mention, its payday!!! hahaahah!! i was literally smiling my way to the bank with a cup of pearly soya milk in my hands! and yessshhh! i finally did something i have been talking about. i signed up for a fixed deposit kinda scheme. so every month, $150 goes into the fixed deposit. with a better rate than my current savings lor. hahaha. but its gonna be inconvenient to withdraw and stuff. good for me!

plus, maybe going to SIM may not be as bad as in sounds like because they have something called summer schools. means, can go overseas (uk, netherlands etc) for a month .. OMFG. it might not be so bad afterall. omg. okok. can see some light at the end of the tunnel! ok, gonna sleep now. have got a task on hand! shall finally do something for CLEO! [=

and p/s: i think im going to really contribute to the society. i've taken a form to be volunteer from my CC. anyone wanna hop on too? i mean, ya, im complaining about how shit my life is. but if my life was shit, what about the others who worry about survival everyday? im going to submit it tomorrow or sunday. im going to take my free time to help them ba. i sound like a saint? nah. im just repaying my debts that society gave me. [= wootsie~

my blog is my sanctuary

in times when life gets really low and blue, my blog is my ultimate sanctuary. I never saw that i could upkeep a blog the day i started. At first it was kinda a social thing where i would put my blog site on my msn nick so the whole world could see how 'fun' my life was. But as i grew, it slowly became a place where i threw my thoughts in so my mind wouldnt feel so heavy! I've been blogging for almost 5 years now!! Wow! Although i knw i disappear when life becomes interesting and fun?? But just v happy that i have an avenue to turn to when im so stressed and feel that i have no listening ear around.. I knw alot of u have been offering ur listening ear,... But u guys have ur fair share of problems too. And my troubles are always recurring and childish. Nt rllly worth the time. So a blog is good. Hahahaha : anyway was reading on cleo, about being self contented. Something i have been trying to attain for a long long time. One of the tips that they gave was that i shud write down everyday the 3 things that i am happy to have. Ok.. So here are the 3 things :
1. My bedroom. It may be messy most of the time.. It may no evem have a theme.. But its my hideout. A place to dance wildly to when im happy. Where i dry my tears when im sad. A place to throw elmo's face against the walll when im angry ( sorry elmo's face) .. So my bedroom is one thing im happy i have

2. My blog. Thanks for giving me an empty canvas to paint my kife upon without causing gaia much damage.

3. My friends and family. At least i do have a complete family. Hahah.... And a functional one. Thoug with very strict values and teachings. But the efforts they put in to make sure we're well fed and healthy ... Sigh. Yup... And friends.. Those who always offer me ur listening ears and always being there to take my crap.. Hahha.... I may nt have a wild life .. But i do have some of the closest friends. Yuppp



I really have this urge to delete facebook. It seems to be bringing me more sadness than happiness as of late. Im forever social comaring. Ppl with better bfs, more friends, funner lives.. Its turning me into a monster. Maybe.. I will. But then again, if i do delete.. Wouldnt that make me a social outcast? Eh? Hmmm... Oh well. Feel like jogging tmrz again. Haha.

Anyway sooooo cooool!! My friends anita and adeline are on cleoooo! Hahahahah. And u knw what .. I shall task myself to write an article on cleo.. Hahahah. Hmmmm... :) ok. Shall work on it.. Maybe sat can go starbucks for a nice quiet brainstorming session? Anyone wanna join e partay?

Almost done..

Yup, it is my graduation robe. collected it today with the gang at serangoon. after prata. supposed to be losing weight! hahaha ... yup. wow.. heres something i'd like to share, and its quite lame la.. so u might not understand.. but i hated graduation robes.. ever since last year because of sly. we got quite close together when it was his turn to graduate.. and i remembered that on his graduation day, i thought to myself: "perhaps the next time its my turn to wear this, we'd be together" ... cus i happened to have duty for the sb yearbook around the same time. so whenever i stared at the robe which was on display, i'd be fantasizing about us. and when everything ended.. i just never wanted to see a graduation robe ever. everytime i saw sp's brochures with all the happy smiling people in the robes, i may smile, but deep inside, my insides were wrenching.

so now, its ironic, because i have it in my house and i feel... im actually beaming at it. haha. but sadly, im afraid it might be the last time i'd ever wear a robe ever. so better treasure it! hahaha.

today, i finally had a little taste of what it felt like to be young and carefree!!! thank god for martin and nathan for bringing the old shirley back again!! after collecting robes, we went to get tix to watch "bounty hunter" .. so while waiting for time to pass, we went to the arcade! omg!!! i was coincidentally wearing my "LA lakers" tank top... then me and nei played basketball as usual! and we were quite good i'd say! [= then we played bishi bashi. and completed all the levels together! and played the cube music game! hahahahhaa. omg. i love to play arcade games with them! lovelovelove my clique to the max. sigh!! tomorrow.. is a boring day ..

anyway quite proud of self.. cus i was still q emo about sly again. sigh. dont ask me .. it really has been bothering me a lot seeing his fb with another girl who's not me. so i went to jog. i told myself i needed some exercise, to work out the calories from prata and popcorn.. and i jogged along the canal. omg. i havent jogged in a while and it totally tired me out! but.... rome! albert, u're not alone! hahahahah!! ROME! jogging down canal really brings back sooo many memories. on the way home, walked past old broadrick and i saw the perfect house! hahaha. last time when in broadrick, whenever we walked to the art room i think, we'd see this bungalow which was in the making. and i used to think "how pretty the house is! i wanna be able to buy that when i grow up" and now, its done. and i still think its perfect!

oh well la. have got nothing to do. shall read cleo.. hmm..

Spring Cleaning!

was sick yesterday so didnt head down for work. instead, i did some spring cleaning and packing of my messy as hell wardrobe! here are the piccies:

Before:


The process:



After:


i knw, its a bit exaggerating now that i have 2 wardrobes right.. x= the left one, is for dresses and sweaters/cardigans and office clothes.. the right one, is for home clothes and casual wear..


left side

right side! no point arranging in terms of tees and shirts right? cus i wont follow anyway. haha

decided to hang shorts up like that..

and i managed to install my wireless keyboard for my com.. hahaha. so yay! and thank goodness for magic clean!! hahaha.

ok. this concludes this post then. hahaha.

Bimbotic time: Wishlist (From Modcloth.com)

Have always fancied clothes and accessories from modcloth.com .. if not for the price. sigh! so, since can see cannot buy, here's a list of my desires lor.. :

This dress is really damn sweet. can imagine pearing it with some chio wedges and a nice handbag.. and curls! lol!!

omg! i've been looking for one of these in singapore. but it always is either heels or flats. i want it in wedges. humph! seems like i need ta hunt..

damn katy perry-ish eh.. so vintagely modern

how chio is the yellow! and the design! so school-girl-ish.. but its oos..

very very nice! always fancied stripes. esp blue-ish tones and white. best combi!

nice alsoo. sweeeet!

OMG! I WISHED I SAW THIS DRESS earlierrrr. its sooo... elegant and sexaye!

cute ar! So prettttyyy~~

And last of all,

ya. my desire is a sandwich...

NOT!

IT IS A purse! LOL!!

ok. ciao!

victims of love

sigh. If i thought my plight was bad, then nasir is worse. Nasir is the murderer of whampoa drive murder. Watch crime watch to knw what i mean, he's only 16 and he actuallu killed his girlfriend's husband to prove his love for her. The silly things people do for love. He threw his life away for her. Wow. Silly? Or admirable? U decide.

Inspiration

was watching momversation.com again.. and i forgot how it used to inspire me.. listening to a bunch of cool moms talking. and u know what.. fuck sly. he can go fuck that girl of his for all i care. ya, i still care, but it wont be soon before long. i am going to create my bucket list. and accomplish them. lol. i wont post it on here cus it will prolly consist of very private things. anyway, thanks reggie and lorraine for pulling me back up on my feet again. it hurts to fall. deep down, i still wished i was the girl beside sly in his profile. but u know what, i need to know that it will never ever happen. and if he ever begged me to, i wont do it! i'll rather snog another stranger from a club again than to ever ever be played around by him again. but can someone pls tie my fingers up? im tempted to always go to his profile. u know what, im going to stay off fb. i will ban myself from going on fb for 3 days starting tmr. ok. im going jogging at bedok stadium tmr. hahaha. ya alb, im going to rome too!

to sylvester, this will be the last fucking time i am ever gonna cry for you. yes, u will always be in that fucking spot in my heart that can never be erased no matter what detergent i use. and yes, my heart will twitch whenever i hear "love, me" on the radio. and yes, i will always have a phobia of going to max brenner again. and yes, i have a bigger phobia of seeing you on the streets snogging your girl. and yes, i am envious of her. but u know what, its all in the past. boomz! its gone. i still have the photo of us in our diary, i never threw it away. u hurt me so much.. but i really will let u go. if not, im doing injustice to my heart. i always emphasize that i have forgotten u. that i will never think of u again. but truth is, i never did. not even after a year. not even after i've met new guys. not even after new year's resolutions and already having my first kiss and going to japan. but i will face up to reality and admit that all this exists. which is why i am going to stand up from all this shit u left behind irresponsibly, and walk away a stronger person. thank you for making my heart wrenched tonight. at least, i felt alive again. and last but not least, FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD SHIT OF A HEARTBREAKER. i do not wish u well, and i do not wish u ill. fuck, u know what, i take that back! MAY U HAVE A BLOODY TASTE OF UR OWN MEDICINE. YA! FUCK U. hate u to the core u shitty arse. goodbye and good riddance.

it sucks.. just thinking that.. about him and his "beloved" sipping starbucks. i cant stop thinking. i just..

FUCK LA SHIRLEY. TIME TO WAKE UP. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

it really is haunting me..

i dont wanna love anymore. i really dont wanna love anymore. im scared. im really very scared. this feeling now.. it sucks. it has been 1 whole year already.. 1 goddamn year.. 1 year ago, he put sunlight in my life. 1 year ago.. 1 fucking year ago.

it fucking hurts

why does it still affect me sooo much? it has been a year. i suddenly saw sly coming online.. so i went to see his facebook. it hurts. the familiar heart wrench is back. he is attached. its something i have been fearing .. especially since he left my life. and its true. with some really quite pretty girl. his beloved. i used to be his beloved. i know, i should have let go a long time ago. and i thought i have. i really thought i have. but recently, even on lorraine's concert, when they played "love, me".. listening over the radio, it still sends a shiver down my spine. omg.. it really really hurts. really hurts to see him belonging to someone else. it has been so long. really really can feel my heart being twisted and wrenched. is that how it feels? i really dont wanna let go any of those happy memories. i really have cried it all out. but i really .. it fucking hurts seeing he now belongs to someone else. sigh. oh my gawd.. the tears cannot stop flowing again.

TONGUE TWISTERS!!

here ar some really tough tongue twisters.. try it especially if you're really bored and have nothing to do (looks at bertie):

1. The Sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

2. Can you can a canned can into an uncanned can like a canner can can a canned can into an uncanned can.

3. The seething sea ceaseth and thus the seething sea sufficeth us.

4. Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager managing an imaginary menagerie

Wishlist xD

What is the point of shopping when i have no money right? can't believe i went to f21's web. so stupid right? anyway, since im bored, i might as well start a wishlist x= here are some that i want (Disclaimer: pics are taken from forever21.com)

abit like pajamas. but its good for days when i dont feel like dressing up lor. just throw this on with a pair of shorts and slippers and a nice tote bag.. and off i go! poof!

my obsession with anything uk/paris! this is PERFECT. i cant wait to go check if the f21 at 313 has this!

hawt right! see the straps? so sexy! the detailing's really good!


this is damn prettyyy~

nice shorts ar. but then i feel, it will be like those cheap $5 cotton on shorts. it isnt flattering on me. x= but i hope they have stock eh, so can try. no harm trying!


OMG. SEXAY and chic!!!! very nice! but i dun think i can pull it off. BUT IF THEY HAVE IT, I SO MUST TRY CAN!

too sexy liao. but hmmm.. try le then see how? x=

very prettty~ omg. im into floral, girly stuff? shirley changed? hahaha

very vintage and sweeet leh. plus the yellow belt. very cheerful ar!

what pretty colours! gosh!! [= i love colourful stuff and this is.. really nice! hahaha

ok. woo~ i wanna head down to f21 soooooon! ciao!

What's yours will be yours

was fb-ing.. and was social comparing again. sigh. everybody seems to be comparing love lives on fb. how nice ar. good for them. shall read up on the news now. maybe pack wardrobe. oh well. pathetic pathetic shirley. i guess thats what single people do. pack their wardrobes. then repack their already packed wardrobes. feed their cats. curl up in a ball and feel all emo! hahah! feel happy for those who are happily in love. be there for the broken hearted. woo. singletondom is not so bad afterall. haha! and so ironic considering the previous posts i have blogged. whatever, just stay strong!! what is yours, will be yours. [=

Lorraine's debut guitar concert

hey! slept for 12 hours straight today. lol. woke up.. and was so paiseh, cus my bro had this new english tutor and his first impression of me is some weird looking girl with messy hair and pink-striped pajamas? i tried to straighten my hair.. but rlly had to pee. oh well la. my reputation is tarnish. so, ironed clothes. watched tv. then i decided to watch "the blind spot" on my ipod.. cus i downloaded it a while back and havent got the chance to watch it. omg. no wonder it won the oscars? i was totally sooo soaked into the movie, i didnt know my aunt and cousin missed called me 4 times. x= it was so inspiring! Leigh (Sandra Bullock) .. omg. what kind of woman is she! so amazing! i don't really believe such a wonderful woman exists.how she helped michael, become a football star.. from a homeless, hopeless black boy. how she, as a capacity of a stranger, can help him in ways, even his own friends or family wouldn't? i was so inspired? super super. their family, is truly inspiring!

after watching the show, realised i was running a little late for lorr's concert! her first guitar performance! so quickly make up-ed and changed... and uncle d. came just in time! phew! then went to tjc.. realised we were a bit early, so went to dinner at bedok hawker centre. they had prawn mee, i didnt. hahhaa. was feeling.. full leh. so we went ta watch her concert. the concert was themed odyssey of life. lol. so each stage of ur life supposed to have a few songs la. im reaching adulthood.. and the songs were "El bimbo" and "Ballade Pour Adeline" ... which were .. quite boring. huh.. will my adulthood be boring? fuck. seeing those 16, 17, 18 somethings being so alive and lively, made me wish i was a teenager once again. i would definitely play it differently lor! they seem soo lively, makes me wanna do something alive before i hit 20! lol! hmmmm... but then, i felt quite .. old, but wise among them just now. wearing my lace top and pants and heels. lol! i know! i cant stop wearing my wedges! ... hahaha! bimbo! then after the concert, we had LONG BEACH for dinner! chilli crab and fried buns. despite my cough. the service was excellante! plus i love the hor fun leh! shit. naise! [= but super full. and my tummy feels weird? lol! ok, pictures.. i didnt take much since my bro had his pro cam. lol!

lorraine! so proud of her!


unglam like mad?!

all lorraine's fans!


hahahaha. so dark ar


bimbotic moment: used up last box of coloured contacts alr! omg. my pay pls come in soooon! anyways, the reason why i put this pic up is because its the first time im using hazel colour! looks quite good ar! hahah!

ok la. am going to bed soon. tummy feels odd. shit. anyway, i was watching this hk movie "love is not all around" omg.. it talks about guys' infidelity. and in the end, so much twists! it was damn damn damn damn touching! omg. xiao wu~ if there were xiao wu in this world.. i would.. die in peace. he's such a nice guy. fucking hell nice can? poor guy, to see the girl he love be happy, he has to suffer quietly on his own while he has brain cancer? omg. damn sad can! xiao wu~~~ in the end, really really shockingly upsetting lor. cus the dali, he told the girl whom he has been loving since high school.. that the girl she saw at his house that one time.. was his younger sister. then in the end, after a lot of heartbreaks and crying.. and when everyone, including me, thought that he all the while was merely with his sister when the lead actress caught him with a girl, turned out to be his ex gf? cus in the end, as the lead girl and lead guy got together, they zoomed into a corner where the "sister" was there. and the guy beside him asked her "u know him ar? is that his gf?" and the "sister" girl answered "ya. he's my ex bf. the girl beside him is his sister." O=WTF?! but great movie nonetheless!

ok. going to bed nw. ciao.

Home Improvement Project part 1 [COMPLETED]

i was so bored tonight, so i decided to start on my home improvement project 1, which was to create inspiration for wardrobe. im always out of ideas on how to mix and match.. so... this is what i came up with:



eh!? who's a CLEO fan ar?! *raise hands up and jumps excitedly* hahahah [= so proud la! Daphne chen, u are gooood~

work in progress..



taking these columns...

in the end, realised i only had enough space to do "style bender articles. maybe i'll do lust to must another time. too much work. plus not enough double sided tape. that shall be part 2!

had to trim the articles one by one...

paste them up, one by one..

and after 2 hours..



ACCOMPLISHED. [=

Adios, ICEX 2010

Its the last day of Food Hotel Asia 2010. Time really flew past in the blink of an eye! really! omg. it felt like only yesterday that i was reporting to work and being so eggcited that im working for spanish company! oh well. i had a blast. went around hall 8 during lunch time and took a lot of free food. spanish food. usa food. greek food. aussie food. japanese food. brought quite a fair bit of loot home. mostly spanish chocolates and biscuits. but im having a damn bad sore throat. really feel like cutting my tonsils out.. though my mum doesnt allow because she says that with every operation comes risk, but im having a rough time ]= really feel like getting it removed.. see how much it will cost?

omg. im gonna miss my spanish colleagues eh! all of them so friendly and sociable. always reminding me to help myself with the coffee and food! lol!!! oh well. its kinda nice working at exhibitions! and i "cheek to cheek" ed with some of my spanish colleagues. too bad my hawt boss is away. ahhaha! cant even get a picture! what a pity. but oh well! anyway, next wee shall be working for mumsy till 6th may, for another event then~

LOVE SPAIN fha!
long side burns guy. lol! his sideburns are ridiculously long!

me and auntie! the organiser

chrystina and me.

Elena and me. she's my boss. hahhaa. really nice lady!

partner, eileen

on the way home with anita and amanda and martin and khng.

adeline got LOTSA food to bring home .. lucky her. cus she worked in the food hall. i worked at the kitchen equipment hall. the auntie asked me to bring the wooden flooring home! lol!! cute!

anyway, i take back what i said about being confident and pretty. its really not very fun afterall. x= was like packing up just now, when this turkey guy stared and smile at me from afar. then i thought he was just a normal customer, so i smiled back. then after a while, he approached us. i was talking to auntie, so my partner entertained him. after talking to partner, he came and asked for my number. O.O his eyes very scary. and he is q old. so, i really didnt want to. so i rejected.. then he said "ohh come on. dont be shy. i'll come back for ur number.." O.O scary shit. i quickly packed up then zhao. phew man. yup. ok. will just go back to being the old and ugly and simpler me. hahaha. wished cough will go away and make my life better. sigh! ok la. gonna shower and ... rest my tired, aching feet. damn shoes. hahah.